Intern at an Investment Bank - AMA

kekeke based

are they accumulating cryptos?

do you people know about smart contracts? is it being talked about, being planned to implement?

How much do you make and what do you spend most of your day doing?

>I am an intern at an investment bank
WHERE'S MY COFFEE BRAD? WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING YOU SO LONG???

How’d you get it?

No

Did you have to play the waiting game?

I have never heard anyone even mention cryptos

Never heard of people discuss it

Did the company provide the kneepads or they ask you to bring them?

How does it feel to work for the cancer that kills the world and be blind to the fact that they are scamming you? 60hours per week is a disgrace to our ancestors that fought and died for our right to 40h work weeks. Shame on you

For the hours i work i would be better off working anywhere else

Even if you manage to get a hot wife, she will end fucking her yoga instructor cause your work will make you unable to have a boner without coke

As for what I spend most of my doing.

It varies greatly.

I could be making investor presentations, excel modelling type stuff (not much above first year finance courses), read reports on the market that we focus on and then summarise to superiors. Sometimes research deals that have just happened in the market.

My job is basically to make my superiors job as efficient as possible. They want something done, but usually there is tedious brainlet type stuff to do to get the end result. So i do the tedious stuff generally, and they get the end result.

I have gotten coffee numerous times, but nobody has ever swore at me

Someone that used to work there recommended me.

What do you mean?

I like this dude

I like the work i am doing.

It is interesting.

Do a job you enjoy and you never work a day in your life.

I am a VP at an investment bank, ask me anything.
I don't work at (((Goldman)))

Do you have story about your "worst intern"?

have u fucked any older coworkers

I don't deal with interns really - but we usually try to give them real work (although it might be a bit repetitive and a large amount of it).

If we don't catch them doing cocaine we consider it a successful internship.

What's the plan for getting millennials and younger to trust their retirement en masse to the stock market like their parents, or are the banks going to shift to a different model?

Also, correct me if I'm wrong and this is already happening. I legitimately don't know.

Have you gotten tired of spreading comps yet?

yes

How did you do it? tips?

nice larp

because they're all a bunch of sterile never been fucked good goys

What do you want to be when you grow up?

t. working in management consulting

10hrs a day is actually chill, I work 8am to >12pm every day from Mo to Thu

fuck redditors, go back

How does it feel to be a hatchet man for the Old World Order?

Has "diversity" had any noticeable effect on the quality of work?

How we determined you to be fake and gay.

A 787 full of commie islamists slamming into your headwaters would be too good for you

If you like what you do you are the lowest of the human beings. You are being shitted in the mouth by someone who digested that shit after eating his superior ass. You feel important because you talk about roi, strategies and team building but if you enjoy this shit you are a fucking disgrace. There is a low chance you are under my command, but if I find you I will utterly destroy you. I'll be the cancer that leaves you bald you neofaggot

Paid or Unpaid?

what a joke

it doesn't matter if the job is hooker reviewer, as long as you have to do it fucking 12 hours a day every single day of the week, have to do what your boss says and spend all of your time in a shitty office, it is not possible to enjoy it