Not the usual dilemma here Jow Forums wanted your input.
>be me >go see my family on dad’s birthday >Dad keeps saying they’re struggling with this and that financially >keep mentioning my kid sister needs a car >After dinner pull parents aside >offer them money for a down payment >maybe enough to buy cheap car from a neighbor >Dad freaks out >Mom open to accepting money >Dad cuts her off giving her the death stare >“we’re fine. We’ll save up so she can get a car for $1,500.”
I literally work at a car dealership, they won’t acceot help if any kind now. I hate seeing people I care about struggle anons, what should I do?
Either by them burning you or continually denying help.
Levi Collins
Don't help them, what are you doing. They will mooch off you for the rest of your life and destroy whatever good will you have towards them.
Christian Mitchell
Just casually leave a check lying around for your dad. You have a good dad. He is proud and doesn't want to accept charity from his own son, but you can overcome that by just leaving a check for him to deposit. Tell them both it is because you love them and you know they would do the same for you.
Anthony Lee
Don't reveal your power level to your family user. > Be me > Mom gets a new job mom needs a new car > user you have money could I borrow some? I'll pay you back > Give mom some money for a car > Oh user I'm going to have to start charging you rent until this debt is paid Literally before I moved out and was saving up. Never saw a cent back. Never charged me rent after the debt or before. Never help anyone.
Yep this is common. I was scammed harder than that but essentially the same thing.
Dylan Green
I thought about doing this, but I want to make sure the money goes to my sisters car. Last thing I’d want to do is pay for another family vacation.
Carson Mitchell
You're a good kid. Tell them that it's a gift for being such great parents or something. If he can tell himself that you're giving it to him because you think he earned it instead of pitying him, then he'll be open to taking it. He'll still know what you're doing, but he'll be able to tell himself that it's okay to take the money now.
Xavier Ortiz
This holy shit OP has a fuck load to learn but luckily he’s only 18 so he has time.
Ethan Bell
Go ahead, you'll end up with a shit load less money and a tattered relationship as their true nature is revealed.
I fucking bet you that almost none if goes where you want it to. Just buy the thing for your sister directly if you are stupid enough to do it.
Julian Morris
so you actually gave her money for rent that was supposed to be used towards paying you back instead of just reducing the debt over time?
what a brainlet
Jeremiah Wright
Oh and next time they need anything they'll come to you, and if you refuse they will talk shit about you and generally hate you.
Human nature is fucking weird.
Jose Perry
In that case, just promise your sister: "as long as you can scrape together X amount, I will chip in Y and you can get the car." Then it is up to your sister to get X out of your parents. WTF is with Jow Forums anons and shitty parents? This user also offers good advice.
This user also has a good point. If your parents are really financially irresponsible people then you need to put limits on what you give them and what you do give them should only be tangible gifts, not money, especially if you are worried about the money being used to buy garbage.
Mason Hughes
Thanks for the advice guys.
I don’t think they’d try to pry more money from me later on, it’s just that I have a big family and I see what they do to scrape together and afford shit day-to-day.
I don’t think I’d stir the pot too much, but the last thing I want is to lose family in the long run just trying to help.
If I got some of my siblings to pitch in, even if it’s $5, could I then say it’s a gift from “the kids?”
Samuel Scott
she was supposed to pay me back then changed the deal to suit her because she has shitty business sense. I felt guilty so I let it happen. I gave her the full amount that was never repaid. Making up bills and charging people is a boomer trait.
Here’s mine: >be me, in uni and poor at 25 >still have better credit than my mother >she needs a place to live as one of her many shitty relationships blew up on her >she manages to get a deposit together by sponging off other family >son, I’ll put you on title >she also puts me on the mortgage and basically railroads me into signing it (“it’ll cost lawyer fees to change it and I don’t have any money left”) >fast forward 10 years, I’m still paying the mortgage because otherwise it shits up my credit Hate that bitch.
Asher Baker
> be me > work hard saving for 10+ years > mother crying > gonna lose house if cant get money > send money > uses money to hire roastie for unrelated biz > spent money on other crap > more crying, wants more > find out house thing fake > told her fuck off > family villain now, twisted facts, never getting paid back > broke and wagie now. no more family > all remaining money in shitcoin
its not worth it op
> Making up bills and charging people is a boomer trait
Austin Reed
Dont do it, when you lend family/friends money you open yourself up to a whole world of problems; all of which cant be solved like it was just some random asshole.
Source: Lent money to mother and she still hasnt paid it back, feel bad to ask for it back because she is unemployed, but still angry because she refuses to get a job even though she has debts to a whole bunch of people (including me now).
