This is all I want in life

Biz, this is all I want in life. A Toyota Prius V. I drive for Uber and I have a shitty beat to hell 2005 Prius and of someone slams the door too hard it goes ape shit. Y’all are all driving around in your lambos- please help. I would need about 8k to get one. I’m old, fat, and stupid. How can I get 8k so I can get this and Uber drive in style? Pleas don’t tell me to suck 8,000 dicks for $1 per dick. Also, crippling depression and anxiety and severe penis disease prevent me from holding a normal job which is why I drive for Uber for a living. I’m counting on you to tell me what to do biz!!!!

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suck 16,000 dicks at half price

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Suck 4000 dicks for 2 dollars each

Please something other than dicks!!!

Sell 8 link eoy

>severe penis disease
lol wtf

>severe penis disease
I hate those!

Is that what they call being a virgin nowadays?

Eat out 1600 assholes for $5.00 each then.

My genitals were destroyed by a botched vasectomy- basically impossible to treat. I’ve had follow up surgeries but when you have a lot of scar tissue and nerve damage in your genitals there’s just no way to fix it.

>botched vasectomy
Ahahahahahaha

>vasectomy
Hahahahahaha you deserved it you cuck you castrated yourself like the beta loser you are

Uber drive in style?

who wants to uber drive at all?

OP get cho shit together.

Hey man,
Terribly sorry to hear about your troubles. Hang in there. So what exactly are you looking for then?

Do you want some Alt-Coin names to buy? LINK, OWN, BNB.

Do you want some advice on education? Freelancing? Side hustles?

Everyone here is going to fuck with you unless you prompt for some specific advise. I feel ya on targeting better things in life. For now start studying stoic philosophy.

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Nobody deserves this- it’s pure hell.

I feel your pain, but vasectomys are against nature and therefore againsts gods will, and you did it to yourself. Sorry fren it must suck, I guess live and learn.

Basically my life has been hell and I wanted to make sure that I didn’t ever create another life to endure a hellish existence by mistake. I was trying to make a responsible decision.

>botched vasectomy
Please explain. I planned on getting a vasectomy

I drove for Postmates and UberEATS for about a month.
Most miserable fucking time of my life.

There’s a thing called condoms bro, agin sorry to hear but you did it to yourself.

does your penis still work?

Condoms are the worst
I rather beat my meat than fuck with a rubber

I would really recommend against it - if you go through with it be sure and find the absolute best surgeon around, don’t just go to the first place that pops up on google. I think the percentage of complications is probably much higher than they want to admit. If you have complications you’re gonna feel like you’ve just been kicked in the balls 24/7 for the rest of your life.

I really like driving for Uber, but it just doesn’t really pay enough to get a better car.

No.

>not a single person mentioned the Fair app which has special deals for ride share drivers
Lol biz is fucking useless. Hey OP go to fairapp.com you’re welcome