What's an easy online degree or even certification i can obtain so i can get a job?

what's an easy online degree or even certification i can obtain so i can get a job?

anything. i don't care what degree/cert it is. anything i can put on my resume or could get me a job.

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>to put on my resume
Literally anything. It's just text.
Eg. Education: Bachelor of Rocket Science

i'd like to pursue a career pertaining to said online degree/certification.

hopefully something that i can read a "study guide" and "take quizzes" and take a "final exam" and bam be certified in something.

bartending or notary

just walk into any restaurant and ask for a job. if you want to work backhouse just remember: minced diced chopped cubed

this. to think anyone gives a shit what kind of paper you have is ludicrous.

>google images
>>certificate
>>put your name on it
you just saved yourself money, time

unless youre trying to become a lawyer, neurosurgeon, dentist, etc, no one cares dude. the entire world is a sham. learn how to play it to your advantage. as long as you know and are educated on the field of your job choice, then its a breeze.

yep yep yep, we're all faking it. I lie on every resume

notary.... hmmmmm. could i become a notary public and just notarize shit for people for cash? could that be a "side hustle" while i work a mediocre job?

i did bar backing for a while. pretty good in my city, but not what i wanna do.

not trying to pay and go to school for years. im trying to get educated so i can do something. maybe i just dont know what i wanna do. but i gotta do something.

if you did barbacking just lie and say you were a bartender most places don't check. Serving alcohol for tips is more profitable than teaching or nursing or real estate agent. I think real estate agents learn online too

around here, they are one in the same.

they are all cash, under the table jobs. $50 pay for the day, plus whatever tips.

Get a security guard card

You are literally recommending lying. I would never hire a liar.

My problem is I don't lie enough. My friends who lie more get many more jobs but have trouble holding them.

So what are your thoughts on it all? Finding a middle ground? Lying is the easy way out. Sticking with the same job for a while is not the easy way out so I can see why your lying friends would have a hard time holding them down.

I stick around at shitty jobs because i always show up if I had more drive I wouldn't always be working min wage or 2 jobs or applying with foreigners at Hotels, restaurants, and casinos. I'm always the little white boy with the best attitude and it just gets me more responsibilities. I work with people who don't speak. I always lie small, like I was a housekeeper or busboy prior, when applying for those jobs. My buddy has theft from 2 workplaces and still gets a $40/hr job fixing AC's in vegas. My sleaziest friends get jobs the easiest so everyone should just be more cocky and sleazy in interviews is how I think.

You have a friend who gets $40 an hour for fixing some fuckin AC's? Why do people pay employees so much for so little?

6 months of HVAC school, started making $20/hr at a casino less than 5 years ago.

Do you think he will be burnt out eventually? I can't imagine some liar of a person to last in a somewhat physically demanding job

He usually gets fired for stealing but he sure can charm a boss

thanks
i really don't wanna lie. i also don't want to work, but i'd like more options/opportunity. investing is all i do.
>tfw upstanding white citizen

Just use a meme degree on your resume like "business". Don't actually get the degree though.

riight.. i lied during an interview at a grocery store and they called me out on it and told me to get the fuck out. I needed that job to support my family. So fuck you for suggesting lying.

>nobody itt has anything close to a real answer
hahahahaha we are SO FUCKED

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Maybe a 3 months diploma in graphic design in India.

Plz gaiz, stop misleading the children.

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>Do
Be a seafarer user

Free food
Free bed
Zero tax

Keep 100% salary but bitcoin

It's not a lie, you're technically able to do your job, but anything above that is lying and you can't tell me it isn't. Everything in the resume that's not 5 lines of your hard skills is lying because you can't exactly check and most people abuse it, maybe they don't think they're lying, but they probably are at some degree

ex-merchant marine here, it's 3 years of easy living while a company sponsors your training to get tax breaks, but you won't get a job at the end because flips and chinks will do it for pennies

You would hire a liar! However, you'd fire him once you realize that he doesn't have the skill you thought he had.
Go ahead guys, lie on your resume! And then, when they'll see that you can't do anything with your ten fingers, you'll regret being honest...