Jewish ways to make money

What are some Jewish ways for an upper middle class person to make money?

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convince white parents to pay you to mutilate their newborn's penis and then literally put the bloody mutilated penis in your mouth

bump

Promote capitalism.

enslave goyim so that rabbis in yeshiva can get paid for literally waving their bodies to satan dressed like 1700 poland.

Any serious advice?

Fuck off commie cuck

t. Crypto-jew

Hustle people, buy fake diamonds for $10 and sell them as real diamonds for $1k, buy gold-plated jewelry and sell it as 24k gold jewelry, sell fake/overpriced skincare products to old white people, become a 'lawyer' (make a fake diploma) and convince rich white people to sue all their friends for defamation, chargeback every purchase over $100, resell used cars but change the odometer to 30k, etc

Whine and complain and demand refunds and threaten to sue everywhere you go, claim to have all kinds of food intolerances and injuries that you can use as leverage to make them look bad. Screech and make a scene. LARP as a minority and always claim oppression. Organize within your community to do everything cash off the books so every single person can claim welfare and disability even while millionaires, and make sure you are never audited with loud cries of oppression and also training as many lawyers from your community as possible. Always work together with your community and have an unwritten law that you will all always lie to and deceive outsiders in order to promote other members of your community. Write off everything you do as a charity, and better yet, collect donations from people poorer than you in order to fund your own lifestyle and ventures by marketing yourself as poor and oppressed. Take over high profit margin medical services and the most insane speculative investment institutions and convince everyone to hand over way more money than they should. Lend money at interest and have a good relationship with repo men. Become a slum lord and have a good relationship with some local thugs.

Unironically just investing my man, most people don't secure their financial future, Jews value that along with other expressions of intelligence. I know what you're trying to get at though. No, not sharing my secrets. :^)

kill children and pretend you are the victim

This was really offensive to read.

Pay people for their aluminum cans. If it takes about 32 cans for one pound of aluminum but you get about $0.35 per pound you can net a profit of $0.03 per pound if you offer $0.01 per can. They get a little bit of cash but you use the recycling money as investment money to accumulate greater value overall than the pennies it initially cost.

/thread

Nailed it

do Jews do this often?

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That's nigger way to make money, not jewish.

Kikes are offensive people

get a good job and work hard

thats what most jews do

Fake a genocide, push the lie in the media everyday, demand reparations.

are you shoahing me or am i free to shut it down

yes, that is what we do, good goy
Not now schlomo, we'll chat about this at pesach dinner when I'm down with uncle Avi

Anything involving Usury.