>started new job
>chill place, own office
>everyone seems cool
>expect this one mid manager faggot called Steven
>literally walks around the office for hours on end talking to people
>laughs extremely loud at his own jokes
>makes literal dick jokes to female staff
>can hear him even with door closed
>no idea how he works here
Why is there always a normie prick like this in every office?
Waste him
Leave a complaint with HR saying he's verbally sexually harassing you.
Mine's called Chris. Leaves empty Ice Cap cups all over the office.
Start calling him bub.
I knew you would start talking shit, Mike.
I rule this office you punk, everyone loves me.
Dont think you can come here and start judging people the first week.
THIS MEANS WAR.
FUCK YOU Steve - no one gives a fuck about your hiking trip plans this weekend
this is why I'm afraid to try getting a new job even though the one I'm in pays less than what I could get elsewhere, my current job is so comfy that I'm not sure I would like anywhere else in comparison.
This is Greg, we are gonna have a little talk. Please schedule an appointment with me ASAP.
Hi this is Karen, Jonathan's secretary. He scheduled a compulsory arbitration session for you all next week Saturday. Let's try keep our synergy together and our KPIs up until we circle back.
Hi Karen thanks for refocusing us on our North Star. Let's not try to boil the ocean here.
Tom here, we should all do lunch and see if we can brainstorm some ideas so we can come together as a group again for our common goal.
I am reporting all this to Margie in HR if you guys don't calm it down here.
Hi Jess, Karen here again. Jonathan said we should not report it to HR unless arbitration is unsuccessful. He was recently on a spiritual retreat and wishes to be more 'laissez-faire' about things.
Rufie him and tie him to a cross and burn him alive
Speaking of Margie, she sure has a nice pair doesn't she? Too bad her ass is so flat, haha I kid I kid, though she is nice looking and she isn't fat like Karen, I'd do her.
op, if you're sexually attracted by your boss there's no problem
We'll have to touch base on filing a report concerning your repeating digits.
- Peter
Karen is a squirter
Epic bro! You heading over to Sportsies after work for a couple brews? Heard that hot intern from marketing will be there - never know!!
Hey Karen it's Dave, you can disregard what Jonathan said, his little spiritual retreat has lead to a few other bad decisions on his part and has earned his termination as a result. Rebecca who oversees HR is working on terminating all the incels in this thread already so if you can get with her we'll go from there.
There's silent giant 7'6" black guy in my office who will walk past the urinal and obliterate the toliet with his piss and then just walk out without washing his hands. Also, he's so tall that he basically can see me shitting over the stall wall in his peripheral vision. If I hear the bathroom door slam open while I'm shitting I know whats coming.
Hey guys it's Stacey's birthday so we are doing a whip round to buy her some new chlamydia tablets. Can you sign her card too please?
BANANA BREAD RECIPE
SORRY EVERYBODY I AM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE EMAIL.
Hi, this is Jonathan. I'm using Karen's PC as you have deactivated my email address. I'll see you in court, I know you're just mad because I fucked your hippie of a wife on that retreat.
Enjoy your infidelity proceedings you cunt.
THAT IS IT!!!
I AM REPORTING ALL THIS TO MARGIE NOW! ENJOY YOUR DAY OF OFFICE COMMUNICATION RE-TRAINING. YOU ARE NOT TO USE YOUR WORK COMPUTERS FOR NON BUSINESS USE!
Top lel
*company wide email*
Hello all
Please can I remind you all to flush properly when using the toilet. This is the second time this week that the middle one in the males toilet has been blocked.
Thank you
Wagie McChucklefuck
I was going to invite you and let you test my new bike this weekend.
But you can forget that!
Hi Luke,
Please stop posting on Jow Forums.com
It has been listed as a child pornography website, and on multiple terror lists.
We also found disturbing images on your computer, of a Sergey Nazarov in various compromised positions. Please schedule time with HR for a formal review,
René