So imagine there's this beach side town, and every week there's an animal parade down the boardwalk. There's two groups of animal trainers, and they're rivals. One's from Spain and has a bunch of bulls and caballeros. The other's from Moscow and has bears and cossacks. Only one group can parade on a given week so they're always fighting it out for who gets to show off for all the townspeople. And the people fucking love it, they're putting bets on "Oh, the Cossacks will get it this time", "No, the Caballeros will, the Caballeros will". Cliques are formed of diehard fanatics for each group, who despise the other performance with a passion, raucously cheering and throwing street parties when their favorite trainers get the parade rpute, and breaking into angry ranting and melancholic weeping when they don't. Maybe the entire town's just that autistic, who knows.
So imagine there's this beach side town, and every week there's an animal parade down the boardwalk...
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>One's from Spain and has a bunch of bulls and caballeros.
>The other's from Moscow and has bears and cossacks.
Then one day, it's parade time, and the town's out, watching and waiting. And they're standing along the side of the street, hoping to see a bull charging down the road or a hear a bear roaring in the distance, but there's nothing. Everybody's confused. "Where's the parade? There's always a parade..." And then one kid shouts "Look!" and points to the start of the route. And scuttling there, as happy as can be, is a
SINGLE
RUNTY
RETARDED LOOKING
CRAB
Just this tiny fucking crab, with a tiny fucking stupid looking face, scuttling sideways down the boardwalk. Except since it's so retarded, it can't even scuttle in a straight line, it oscillates up and down the path, occasionally stumbling on a knothole or falling down a set of steps. Just the single fucking crab.
And everybody is disappointed, because it sure as fuck ain't as exciting as a bear or bull, so they go home grumbling. "But hey," they think to themselves as they tuck themselves in that night, "at least it should just be this one time. What's the chances of it happening again?"
And the next week, they're out on the boardwalk again, and looking for a bear or bull, except here comes the
FUCKING
WEEDY
UGLY
RETARDED
CRAB
AGAIN
and it does its stupid fucking shuffle down the boardwalk, and the townsfolk are angry. They throw trash at it and boo, "GO HOME CRAB" but the crab doesn't care because it's a crab and even if it wasn't it'd still be too stupid too understand. And this happens the next week, and the week after that, and the week after that.
The townsfolk are devestated by this. Watching this crab is boring as hell compared to the bears or bulls. Some try to make do; they bet on how many times the crab will trip, or if it'll meander too far to one side of the walk. But their hearts just aren't in it anymore.
Months go by. The town dejectedly shuffles to the parade route, expecting nothing but the crab again. Then, in the distance, they hear it.
The sound of hoofs.
A horde of bulls charges in, men dressed like gauchos on their backs cheering and whooping. The crowd is estatic. Even the bear supporters are enthused, because at least it's not that fucking crab again. Kids buy balloons, fireworks go off, ticker tape everywhere. The town goes to sleep that night and has pleasant dreams.
The next week, they go back to the boardwalk, and guess who comes down the street?
THE
FUCKING
RETARD
CRAB
And that's what being on Jow Forums during this recent crypto market is like.
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Beautiful posts, OP.
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this is my favorite