>Work colleagues start discussing relationships and sex life
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>colleagues start discussing investing
>work colleagues
>parents start talking about sex near me
GUYS I KNOW THIS IS A SHITPOST THREAD BUT WW3 IS STARTING DOW DOWN 6000 POINTS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>coworkers start talking about weekend plans
>”hey user what are you doing this weekend?”
>Work colleagues start discussing
>COLLEAGUES TRY TO TALK TO ME.
GO AWAY FUCKING NORMIES!
>boss starts to undress
pffft -400 points w/e, the plunge protection team is already performing their "open market operations"
I just fucked a coworker on her break. AMA
>Manager is a single cougar
>won't let go of my hand during the shake and looks deeply into my eyes
tfw they don't bother asking anymore. it's a relief but brings pain at the same time.
>colleagues ask what music you listen to
Just tell them you’re working on becoming the next Jeff bezos/ Craig wright
>don't know how to talk to people
>talk about suicide at my school, because people kill themselves every year
>room goes silent
>user wtf is wrong with you, that's not funny
> First day at new job
> Team has a "welcome lunch" every time they have a new hire
> Everyone eats together and towards the end they go around asking questions to the newbie as a way to get to know them
> Like 10 questions in "if you could see anyone living or dead, what musician would you want to see perform live?"
> Don't want everyone to know I'm an autistic faggot who listens to weeb shit and vaporwave garbage
> "Uh... Elvis P-Presley"
> Murmuring "ohhh good choice user yea I never thought of that one"
> Fast forward to first happy hour
> Dive bar has jukebox
> "user... user they have Elvis on here. What's your favorite song by him?"
> Can't name any song except for fucking blue christmas
lol'd
>work in kitchen for six months
>see someone who used to work there in town
>"hey how you doing"
>"do I know you?"
>"yeah I worked at x place"
>..."you did?"
Tbh I feel like that's an achievement to be that invisible
I don't know just lie.
Lying is not that hard.
You have to not give a single fuck about them, so you body language won't really betray you.
I regret that i didn't systematically lie during high school or early 20s.
Lie about everything. They are not worth the truth.
Thats a sell signal
lift weights, look manly and dress well and you can tell them how youre a virgin and spend most of your free time on the computer. i did it several times, people werent less fond of me afterwards.
it really is
"Craig, is that you?"
Do you know who The Police are?
Uh oh
read this, all of you that work in an office environment
ribbonfarm.com
Yea. i've been there. When they start doing that you know your not gonna make it much longer. Pretty soon they will start asking you about your non existent social life outside of work and you'll have to make shit up. If they don't buy it they will quiz you on it later to see if your lies match the previous ones you've told so your whole work life from then on becomes a long drawn out lie that in the end. is unmaintainable. eventually you will slip up and they will catch it and call you out on it. Then your back in the unemployment line. This has been my life for the past 10 years.
at least you have us, imagine in the past when you couldn't commiserate like this
cheer up, things can always get better
>office party
>when you post but forget the image
I'm not gay but young Elvis was handsome as fuck. I'd want him alive just to admire how gorgeous he was
pic related
Just say "Heh I'm asexual"