It's been around 3 years that I decided to be in 'self-employed' form.
first year, doing around 10k $ or less, I was living like a bug. Disconnected from every community and society, only ancoring myself in front of computer. absorbing infos about the world.
ever since highschool graduation, while my friends around my age spend their time in college.
from last year i started to make around 6k monthly. and for now preparing next project.
in some random reason, some random moment I still feel paranoid. Not having any of measure if I'm doing really well. If it won't be crashing down. All I see is that a fucking depressed lonely doomer having un-cleared face without shaving the beard. all alone in front of the computer.
not even having proper clothes/shoes to wear just like everyone else at my age does.
Even though I'm trying to proceed front I just feel so fucking paranoid. If I'd just spend my youth fucking like this. literally wasting years of my young moment. not making any kind of memories and relationship.
then i will have to hang myself for real. if it's destined to fail.
or really making something by myself. so extremely paranoid... even i want to say it'd be 100% that i will be better by the time goes on. so fucking paranoid. it's either getting suceeded and coming out from my room or ending up hanging myself in my room.
you're right. not even worth to whine until i make something real.
Christian Bell
bit part of programming/e-commerce.
Lucas Kelly
0xowns.art/split
Mason Howard
OP don't fall for bullshit like paranoia Most of those diagnoses are code words for not being a good goy Autist if you don't worship used up females or don't wagecuck 10hrs a day Depression if you realize how bad things really are etc etc I self diagnosed paranoia online too. All the "paranoid" delusions are now accepted as totally normal things (fb, Google, win10, tapped phones and routers.. was laughed at for years by bluepill boomers.
Christopher Richardson
>from last year i started to make around 6k monthly. if you do this without debt you're fine chads racking up debt might have some good memories of college, but they end up wageslaving for 20 years to pay off their student loans go be a expat for a few months for whores/drugs
Robert Jones
Fucking Thank you so much guys. Thank you. This has been so fucking lonely and paranoid. yet didn't deserve to express a single word about it.
I will go to front whether it's going to be a failure or not. I'm really fine even if it gets end up as hanging myself alone in the room. I will try to enjoy and accept this moment I'm working on now. as just itself. sheerly itself. that I am going front.
Gabriel Jones
OP all normies talk about is who is fucking who
And then us baller niggas get the money
Maybe u need a hobby but dont let the bullshit get you down. Best advice i can give is find somewhere to be a "Man Among Men". Go play ball or something. Normie = feminine. Even the Chads smashing pussy on some level are falling for the same hypersexualized propaganda.
Jason Hill
anyone who isnt positive they are doing 100% and feel weird about it, thats good in my book thats called drive, you see you can do better and you wont feel rifht until you keep pushing yourself only you know if 100%
Nathan Wilson
if you live at home and self employed it will fuck ur social life for sure.
i have worked from home for 12 years in front of computer. no social life, no gf, no friends, dont even leave house much.
Jayden Sanchez
>i have worked from home for 12 years Man.... Though I thought i would be able to get to come out and have some real life when I made some fortune... though.
How did you cope this sickness loneliness for such long period?
Bentley Williams
im not sure...ive always been a loner desu (since age 13)
Wyatt Rivera
OP I know this might sound weird but I admire autists like you
Self reliant to a T. Fuck the world. You do you. It sounds like a hard lifestyle, but I'm sure you knew that signing up.
Daniel Torres
>but I'm sure you knew that signing u I mean you have the basic lust to define your own status in society. How do you fulfill such lusts? and desire? how can you confirm your own status if you belong in no any community in this world?
Dominic Evans
Same, bought a house and setup an okay office and thats been my life for 10 years. I kept thinking one of these projects would get me financial freedom but so far just makes slightly above wagie pay.
Owen Bennett
I wish I was >That, Kind of autist too. But I don't feel myself as such complete autist yet. yes I know how and why you're saying that you're admiring autists.
I actually do admire those people too. But the real autists don't even feel this situation awkward at all. or painful. or sad. or depressing.
while I'm in such situation sometimes.
I wish I can totally dedicate myself in this room sometimes. Just because to concentrate and focus in work more enthusiastically. That's all. That's the whole purpose.
confessing, i'm not enjoying the procedure itself but though I'm trying to brainwash myself that I'm enjoying this.
Wyatt Phillips
How can you hold yourself for such long time alone? You know that you're apart from society for sure. and maybe it could be seemed not healthy at all.
Isn't this fact making you feel grief? or paranoid?
Andrew Ortiz
Checked and it sounds like you’re doing fine bud. Everyone has to find their own path through the clownword we find ourselves in. To thine own self be true.
Samuel Perez
My parents are divorced, they are both retired, one of them moved in with me. Having a pet helps a lot too, have had a cat for 15+ years. He is a good friend. I still hangout with the same friends I had in high school seeing one at least once a month.
I recently traveled for 3 months straight solo, a couple days I felt anxiety/paranoid but it could have been from being actually isolated. Had fun tho and would do it again. Even met a couple women off of Tinder which Ive never used at home. Finally having some woman actually be into me was a big eye opener for me and I feel pretty content with that. Before Id sometimes feel really lonely and sad, tfw no gf, etc.
When I go outside I think I do have some paranoia and anxiety. I get nervous even just pumping gas. When I go to an ATM I pull in really close and look around. I cant really hold conversations that well and dont make a lot of eye contact. I just figured it was a little autism / shyness, but could be from long term isolation.
glad to hear that you're doing well. that is actually well formed stretch out. most of people are pretty opposite form of that. doing what costly things first, and starting to gather some shit in work.
but i believe you and i are doing some different way than that. constructing inner work system first and stretch out. at least i want to believe so.
Chase Thompson
when was the last time you actually went on a holiday or did something like going on an air balloon, ski'ing, ...etc.
Logan Allen
maybe last year. about 1 year ago.. i go out about 3 times per year. ever since i decide to work as self employed
Thomas Garcia
work life balance my friend. Go outside, meet people, do sports, holiday. Making 6k from home is awesome, just figure out the rest and you will be better of then most of us
John Bennett
How did you write so well on your back?
Leo King
If youre a man then realize that you appreciatr life more as you get older, youth is over rated and full of dumb mistakes. By acting responsible now you are taking control of your future and next 50 yeats rather than enjoying 10 years too much and paying it off over 30
Brody Ross
OP can you give me some tips on how to get there? I'm just starting and I'm around your age too. You shouldn't give a fuck about college normal fags, the experience isn't that meaningful and they're just going way into debt while you make a bunch of money. Being a shut-in is not good but you don't have to go to college to not be a shut-in, take some of that 6k per month and go sign up for a boxing gym or a dance class. You will be forced to socialize and you'll learn a healthy physical skill at the same time.
But please give me details on how you ended up making 6k per month in your early 20s from home. I'm teaching myself C++ right now with the hopes of doing freelance work but I don't know if I'm down the right path.
as I think, all these basement dwelling aspect form of life, if you want to work in this kind of form, learning programming language for your business purpose is inevitable.
simply saying, i can not spilt out all the specific details but let me tell you one exact thing. once you started, don't ever, never fucking halt it in the middle.
if you ever, pause/dump something that once you started, it does mean basically all the amount of effort and labor and time you have put in for the project is purely gone. just gone. vanished. no worth. no value.
pick up something simple and make that one solid completed. that's the thing. don't ever fuck aorund picking up big subject in the first step. it's all about block building in my short experience.
and never halt thing you started. get it FINISHED no matter what. don't let me awkwardly done and status of nothing. get it FINISHED.
