Tips on being a better employee?

I basically give my 100% effort. Nothing more nothing less. I just flip a switch, get to work, clock in clock out. Simple. Try not to get personal with coworkers, but I am friendly and approachable. I'm pretty much an NPC at work.

Ski ramps.

Get there ten minutes early lol wageslave

Take a pay cut

i would argue that what you describe does not resemble the typical NPC, who, opposite to you, is overly personal, often complains about or resents their work, and lacks the concentration that you display. an NPC, rather, is the one who incessantly gossips, trivializes the job or company, and seems to care more about the quality of the management than their own tasks.

Boss man here and I cannot emphasize enough tell me what's fucking not working or broken you absolute brain dead wagies

Find a way to turn your 8 hours into 6. For example I show up 30 mins late and leave 30 mins early and take a 2 hour lunch where I eat, sleep, fap whatever. Fuck working a full day.

With those 6 hours at work conduct all of your personal bullshit that you can do from a computer, online shopping, paying bills, scheduling appointments, vacation and gift ideas. Bonus for remoting into home computer to download movies, music, games, working on side projects, or whatever you do at your home computer.

Reject work that's not your job or that some other cuck is good at.
>Give that to John, he's a whiz with that system.

Consider how much time you waste on commuting per year and consider moving close to work instead of your trendy side of town where you don't go out anyway and have no friends.

Let's say you run into a snag on a project. Congrats you now have a 30 minute break while you try to "figure it out" before asking for help. But you're not stupid and you bring valid concerns to others, not stupid questions.

Show up with a notepad to meetings. Write stuff down. Also say stuff in those meetings.

Take a 20 minute shit everyday.

People will love you if you are tech savvy. My first job I got on my new bosses good side because a shitty web app crashed in a demonstration and I knew f5 would refresh it because of stupid press f5 memes from long ago on here.

That's about all I got for now.

If you commute by train, go over emails, schedule etc.

>thanks for bringing that to my attention
*2 weeks later*
>we're going to be placing you on a PIP

lol yeah aka tell me how i can fire you easier

get fucked

Think about things in terms of cost and profit. If you have 2 possible things you can be spending your time on, you choose the one that has a higher profit in $. Business is about $, and you can connect every aspect of a business and every decision made back to that. If you need to let one thing go completely (deprioritize) in favor of getting another, higher value thing done, that is a decision you should be able to back up and ultimately be proud of.

If you want to ask for something - say, access to a tool to make your work easier or better, or even a raise, you should be prepared to make a business case for that. You should fully understand and be able to explain why it's a good investment for the company and will ultimately increase revenue or profit margins.

Weigh all possibilities. For example, if you are asking for a tool that is $500/month to help reduce something you are spending 4 hours a week on to 2 hours a week, and you are paid $1,000 a week, you're essentially asking to spend $500 to make back $100. It's a very bad deal. However, what if you could still save yourself time, but a different way that didn't cost the company money? Maybe you hack something together with google sheets and only reduce your time by 1 hour. Still, you didn't pay anything and you're "saving" the company $100/mo by allowing your time to be better spent elsewhere. This can in turn be used to argue you're worth more money. For the company, that's $100/mo because of work YOU did, and now you can make a business case that you deserve a raise of $600 (half of that) and the company still wins. Maybe not the most exciting raise but it's the principle :)

Make sense?

Open your own competiting company and hire the best one which are currently enslaved and underpaid.
You take over the business and your current boss can go buy knee pads

*sorry, first $100 should be $200

learn to suck dick and/or(and) eat pussy

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yes, makes sense

>tips on being a better EMPLOYEE
Don't.

i think i want a latina gf

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Are you me? I did this and got a salary increase to over 100k from 70k in 12 months at one company

Identify recreationally compromised co-workers

Don't focus on being a better employee; focus on making your boss like you.