User, I'm going to need you to come in tomorrow morning...

>user, I'm going to need you to come in tomorrow morning. Jim has a retreat with this family and we really need to hit those mid-quarter production numbers. Corporate has raised projections and we need to stay on target. I'll be on boat all afternoon, text me if you need anything.

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B.. But tommorow is Saturday Mr. Shekelstein

Peace out nigger I hold link

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only correct response.

whoa since when did Jow Forums get a TLD?!


We never work on saturday

Ask some hourly wagie to do it, one always volunteers for the OT

Absolutely. Absolutely, Mr. Shekelstein. I'll head in first thing in the morning and start reaching out and running up the flag pole. H-have a great week end on the boat! Y-you too. When do I plan to leave today? Uh I don't know uh maybe like uh 6:30? But I can stay longer if you need. Absolutely. I'll send it out before I leave tonight so they have it first thing in the morning.


Fuck off, oven-dodger


Lol biz ripped this off a joke from office call meeting in real life:

Stupid scammers

Knew I could count on you son. Keep up the good work and there might be a 1% pay raise in your future

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thats 35 grand! and its my third raise this year! thanks boss, oh of course link is still on track for 1000k eoy. your welcome mr shekelstien... yes you can buy through the coinbase app i showed you now. sure is. ok... have a good time on the boat!

im 32yrs old and a neet. If I had to deal with this shit i would probably go insane postal

The youtube video is slightly dramatized, but not too far from the truth sometimes. Coworker at a firm I used to work at showed it on a projector one day and we were all lulzing

how anyone does this as a human is beyond me

>work at home
>hourly instead of salaried
>constantly asked to do shit on weekends since the rest of the team works in the office and has families so it's harder to get them to come in on weekends
>I can finish what needs to be done in an hour tops plus it doesn't matter what time I do it so long as it's done before Monday
>boss signs off on 5-10 hours of OT pay if I have to work on the weekend and thinks I'm one of his best wagies for never saying no to working on weekends

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Based, but what about workdays? Are you able to do your M-F that efficiently as well?

Yeah OK sure whatever I'm charging a full days overtime. And you better remember this time I saved your ass next time I negotiate a raise you piece of shit.
*runs simple python script used for weekday work on a saturday*

On the typical weekday I would say it takes me 2-3 hours to get everything done. During the 4th quarter we are very busy and it takes me 4-5 hours to get everything done. However, we have mandatory OT hours during that time which aren't necessary at all for me but management insists on it so I make extra money just for keeping my work computer turned on a few more hours each day. We have slow days during the other three quarters of the year where I can get everything done in an hour less and I have the occasional super slow day where I work maybe 20 minutes all day. On Tuesday this week all I did was send a couple emails, then the other 7 hours and 50 minutes of my shift were spent funposting and playing vidya and trading.

Also, my coworkers love me for working weekends so none of them ever have to do it. They're always happy to help out if I need it and one of them even sent me a gift card for my birthday.

Based. What are you in IT? It sounds like some sort of boomer industry


im hoping i dont have to work much soon but have a couple options working in boomer IT. I was an intern and thought shit like what you said was memes but it genuinely mind-fucks me how wizard-like boomers think IT nerds are.

I had one day where my boss told me to stay for overtime, from which point he paid me extra purely to sit in on a conference because the projector was being fucky lately and he might need me to fix it.
Note, the projector was fine, his reasoning for my attendance and paying me 2 hours of overtime was purely because "it seems to work better when you guys are around".

>Weekend is finally here.

Feels good man. Who else is throwing rages?

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>he wants the d


I'm not in IT, although most of my coworkers are technophobe boomers and if they have software issues they usually ask me for help before going to IT because I know how to fix it most of the time. The best way to describe my job is setting and negotiating prices with our clients. It's not sales. We have a sales team but my team gets the final say on pricing because sales works on commission and they would sell at a loss if it personally benefited them. Basically I have to know what our margins look like, know what our competitors' margins look like and then negotiate a price that will make us a decent profit without Schlomo'ing the clients too hard. Also I get to fuck with Pajeets (we have a lot of Pajeet clients) for payback when I was working retail and those shitheads would try to haggle me over things I had no control over then get upset when I couldn't give them discounts.
>sending a quote to a Pajeet client
>increase rates by 10-15%
>they inevitably ask for a discount and try to haggle
>"Sure here's your discount I really hope we can get your business" as I knock off 5%
>Pajeet is thrilled to get a """discount""" and we make the sale
>boss is happy I'm consistently selling groups with a bigger than average profit margin

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Absolutely based and redpilled. Props bro

Sounds like an easy job, or are you just making it sound easy?


I think it's easy but we have some people that are complete fucking retards and screw things up all the time so who knows. I've seen people in my department make mindblowingly dumb mistakes that ended up losing us six or even seven figures. I work for a Fortune 50 company so losses like that won't put us out of business or destroy our stock but it's still infuriating when one idiot's bad judgment wipes out more profit than you diligently earned over the last 6 months, especially when the department's profit margin is a huge part of the equation when they are calculating our bonuses.

If you're tech-literate and you can follow instructions you can learn how to do my job. They demand a degree but only because they can, you don't really need one to do the job. It also helps to autistically double check everything you do which is a habit I've always had.

>make 3.5 million a year
>brainlet that can't into percentages

You decide!

its a larp

aww man, why didn't you tell me sooner? I have to take [insert friend or relative] to [insert place, event, appointment]. It would be extremely expensive to reschedule. I could have had [friend,relative] do it for me instead if you gave me some notice. have larry do it.

the key here is not only making up some stupid event but also offering a solution to the corporate cuck's problem.

very funny! i'll see you on monday
>it's pretty easy just don't be a cuck and there's nothing they can do

I'm currently managing ten different projects, and since John quit and Stacy took over his position, I've been managing all of John's technical projects as well. No no, Stacy is great! It's only natural that technical projects John was managing get transferred over to IT. Yes, i agree, Stacy is leadership material and is doing a great job managing the call centre staff. Overwhelmed? No, of course night, I'll make sure to prioritise your project so it's ready by next Thursday. Yes, I emailed them directly today. Oh that project? Well, I've been busy since I'm handling most of John's projects now as well. I didn't get paid my on call wage, but I better not mention that actually. At least I got a thank you email.

> my life right now