"made it" but didn't make it

I like this answer philosophically but it's also defeatist, if I stopped looking for answers 10 years ago I wouldn't be where I am now, I'd be a fucking NEET

I don't know how, I don't even know how to say hi to someone and smile like everyone else does. Everyone always asks me what's wrong when nothing is wrong

Find a gf? Come on.

I doubt it, I've been doing things alone my whole life.

Thanks I will legitimately consider BJJ, I've lifted for a little bit then quit after 1.5 years but I'm reasonably fit and go biking and skateboarding. Can I start BJJ or do I need to lift more? What are the requirements? Also how is it possible if you work full time?

What?

I've been doing that it doesn't fucking work

I am in the same position as you but i am not that big of a sperg but still i like to shut myself in.

i went to travel and got back and got a really good job and a higher wage etc. i said to myself i won't live like i used too (living cheap and frugal like a pathetic faggot) at first i managed to live a life of a normie fucked some tinder bitches here and there but i got post nut depression every time because of my paradigm probably. Fast forward a few months and i find myself again saving like a idiot and being too frugaal with money even tho i could enjoy my money way more since i make enough. Back then i said to myself when i make x amount of money i can start to live and now i find myself in a position where i say when i start to make x amount of money i can start to live the x amount of money gets raised everytime, but sure my diet and neighborhood etc. got better but still i hope i can break free sometime.

All the lifting advice does is further enshrine your ego. The problem you're having is you're not truly connected with yourself, hence why you can't connect with other people, and that is because of your ego. Lifting is fun and feels great, i would recommend it, but it's not what will solve you're problem, only a total collapse and rebuild can do that. But lifting will increase your ego and make you more isolated so the collapse happens faster, which is what happened to me.

>Thanks I will legitimately consider BJJ, I've lifted for a little bit then quit after 1.5 years but I'm reasonably fit and go biking and skateboarding. Can I start BJJ or do I need to lift more? What are the requirements? Also how is it possible if you work full time?

lifting 1.5 years will certainly help and you can definitely start. my gf who i met there was completely untrained before and now shes fit AF.pretty big mix of people at my school (very competitive in local scene. everything from fatties to roiders...everyone gets along. you can certainly do it full time, we have more professional adults then not, lots of doctors and lawyers on the mats. personally i would just go after work 3-5 times a week and if you're a morning person many gyms have classes then too.

i really hope you give it at least some consideration if not a shot. we're all gonna make it brah!

>only a total collapse and rebuild can do that

nah that can go wrong just as easily as it can go right. you can deaden your ego without killing it by getting into humbling situations, usually involving both hard work and a supportive environment to make the humbling experience a learned one and not a scar on the personality

did not look around:

bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=2827989.msg51629410#msg51629410
youtu.be/s3SJ2TMIXZI

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therapy

Based , happened to me bro.

Led a path of self destruction....I lost everything.....it made me realize who I was and forced me to look at myself objectively., it was the worst of times but it was the best of times.

I have to admit......it still is to this day the best thing to happen to me.... the pain and anguish I brought onto myself made me let go and "sacrifice" my former self.

And in the ashes.....a new beginning .

What the fuck are you even talking about? Did you become homeless? Have a mental breakdown in front of your family? What do these posts about "losing everything" mean?

And the pain was worsened when I finally realized the pain I have caused to others.....

To finally feel the pain of collateral damage I had caused......

user is indicating that he has no friend, A woman can be a great friend both socially and sexually.

bitcoin core still so unstable it won't even run on linux

That's why I said it will probably kill him, very few people can survive a complete ego collapse, and to survive it it's better if it happens while you're young. Imagine enshrining yourself with money and muscle and sex for 60 years and then losing it all. No way you're coming back from that. But OP sounds like he is pretty young, early to mid 20s is a great time for complete collapse and rebuild. It's the most fulfilling and humbling thing you can achieve and it will absolutely lay waste to ego driven complexes which usually build up in people for decades in people, see pic related.

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Everything, got robbed and nearly lost my life... lost my long time gf, job, career, and family all in a matter of months,.....you'll never know until you experience it.

But God willing, I'm still alive.

So.. do you spend all your time by yourself in your apartment? Cause the only way you'll get better/more comfortable with people is interact with them regularly, to force yourself to be outside your comfort zone until you get comfortable/competent with the types of situations you want to improve in.

Why are you comparing me to that guy? He's the opposite of me, spending all his money on stuff to show off, whereas I hide away from the world and wear tan to not be noticed

Yes I spend all my time alone in my apartment

I can't interact with people my mind always tells me they're pretending to talk to me for an inside joke with their friends

Absolutely based. It's crazy looking back on it all now and seeing how it was actually the best time of my life, despite wanting to die through every second of it. It's the pain I caused to others when I had "made it" that really fucking got to me.
OP, you have a lot to learn, it doesn't even matter if you're homeless or live in the nicest house at that point. You're fucking ripe for this painful transformation, and it's going to SUCK, but you will come out of it something you never imagined you could be.

I'm pretty stoked for you, honestly, just don't kill yourself because I promise you're gonna want to.

I'm going to be honest user I'm a pretty smart guy but I have no idea what the fuck you're even talking about. Are you threatening to ruin my life?

Jesus christ no, I'm telling you that you're about to experience something that will be fucking terrible but if you survive it will be the most amazing thing you've ever known. You won't look down on anyone who has "less" than you, in fact your understanding of have and have not will be completely changed, and every experience will become like a blessing.

What makes you think I look down on people who have less than me? I'm not a rich showoff, spender, or person who wants money for greedy purposes. I just like to work hard and succeed but I don't know how to enjoy life and there don't seem to be any good ways to put my hard work to good use for society unless I earn lots of money to eventually give away

You've got me all wrong

How much do you make OP?

>Worked hard my whole life
>Always got good grades
>Got a good degree
>why is my back hurting?
>diagnosed with arthritis (AS)
>no longer able to enjoy life, no cure, progressive disease
>every day tarnished by pain, no amount of hard work or money can ever fix this
I want to try having a girlfriend and to replay Halo on PC.
Probably killing myself after that

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I have to stress, I'm not trying to insult you, I know how it is because I lived it. But this "agoraphobia" is a perfect example of "comparing yourself to others" which is what your ego is doing. Same with saying things like you make more than your whole family combined or anyone you know. It's not a bad thing to be affluent. But what you're gonna start to see is that your ego is causing you to hide things from yourself.

So I need to be Diogenes?

Lol nope. You were fucked from the beginning. The game was rigged from the start.

>I can't interact with people my mind always tells me they're pretending to talk to me for an inside joke with their friends
So your mind is telling you something unreasonable that you know to be (almost certainly) false.
In my experience, there are three methods to deal with this:
You tell yourself that what you're thinking in the moment is nonsense.
You realize that it doesn't matter, even if it's true. You're interacting with these people to learn to interact with people. What they actually think of you is irrelevant. It's just training. Learning to deal with socially adversarial people is the highest from of this. And it ultimately doesn't matter what they actually think of you.
Become an objective, detached observer, observing the interaction between you and the other person like some sort of anthropologist.

>not taking shrooms and slaying your own ego in mind-to-mind combat when you hit 18

smdh

This but do boxing instead of bjj as bjj is gay as fuck and a psychologists wet dream

I agree get an r6 or something, motorcycle riding is the best hobby for loners imo

You don't have to live your whole life like that, but you need to understand what it would truly mean to live your life like that. You can be very rich and still be like Diogenes. But you really need the ego collapse thing to do it. You don't have to do anything crazy like quit your job or give up all your possessions, you made this thread based on the fact that you FEEL a certain way, and I can guarantee that those feelings are the beginning of a thing that's going to transform you. It's entirely experience based so there's not much I can really say to convey that much further. Just don't kill yourself.

Yeah this is good too, but it runs the same risk, there's a ton of acid causalities out there who tried this method

I tried acid a few times in search of transcendence of my consciousness and a new way of looking at reality, but if I take too much I just get anxious and start entering thought looks about how I must be mentally ill and everyone must think I'm a loser without telling me it, and that's the least bad of it

Based, yeah the drug method is not a good way too go. Unfortunately you're basically a victim to time a this point, in the same way someone lost at sea is a victim to the waves and currents. That's just it though, you would never willingly give up your position, it's got to fall away from underneath you and then you'll learn this thing. It's hard to explain but it's like control without any control. It's a giving in, and complexes of the ego will be a thing of the past. Fuck sorry, just give it TIME, senpai. And seriously, don't fucking kill yourself because we need as many ascendant souls as possible.

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Pay for therapy (cognitive/behavioral) and beforehand, write down what you want to change.

Buy an escort from time to time, but don't fall in love. Look for high-class and tell them you want them to take you out for an evening. Ask them for girlfriend experience, but make sure you don't fall in love

Also make sure that you definitely don't fall in love.
Also don't do this.

I'm gripping with the same woes without the money part.

Honestly you are what you are, get by with what you have. Stop trying to think about how things could or should be and see if you can turn whatever's at your disposal to your advantage. You have money, you're relatively young (I presume), you're smart. You think it's impossible for you to land a smart girl, who deals with the same issues and thus is part of *your* world and can empathize?

Honestly what more could anyone want.

Also hit the gym, fag.

can you elaborate on what the hell youre talking about?

>>Psychologically unable to spend money for enjoyment
This leads nowhere good. Your parents did a good job.

>You think it's impossible for you to land a smart girl, who deals with the same issues and thus is part of *your* world and can empathize?
Jesus christ. You don't get bitches for this you spastics. They are not your emotional pillow like you have been led to believe in popular media. You do not share your feels with them. They are not there for you to cry on. Get some bros or internalise everything. Either way, the women are not for that.

sorry but you didn't make it in any way. Being successful and earning that much implies excellent social skills, which you say you don't have (high school clothes, can't talk to humans irl, no friends, phobias).

It doesn't require social skills to get good grades in college, make no friends at all and in fact talk to nobody your entire time in college, then pass mathematical interviews to get a job, then spend all your time alone doing your job, and occasionally have technical meetings where you only talk about mathematical topics. Also the fact that I responded to your post within minutes, hours after this thread was created, on a Friday night, should tell you how many social skills I have.

nobody's talking about college and the fictional meetings you mentioned. Even if you got past the interview stage, you'd still land a low-key job within a successful company (with $2.5-5k per month in the western countries) because your social skills don't allow you to advance. Nobody really cares about your technical expertise. In fact, negative selection is wide-spread everywhere. The only way to advance is by having excellent social skills.

Shut up, you fucking simpleton.

Just DO something.

It really isn't that hard, once you've broken the mould of how your life has been you will realise how much life has to offer.

Go out for a drink or something for fuck sake, no matter how autistic you are
after 8 pints you'll talk like you've got the biggest cock on planet earth.

Or, give me all half of your fortune and live in smelly misery for the rest of your life :)

If what you're saying is right then who the fuck is sending my paychecks and what exactly am I doing at work every day retard?

get brappilled now

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Collage taught me how fucking weird normies are....i was Always thinking i could t fit in normieland because im weird and different and fucked up....than during collage i changed lots of roomates which were mostly all normies....let me tell you user: just a very thin layer under the surface of normiehood you get to learn most of these well adapted people are way more fucked up than you....they just dont have the perception of being weird and fucked up (or dont give a shit) so they are perfect normans. Who gives a fuck if youre a weirdo, act your weirdness out without giving a shit what normans think....unironicaly (((just be yourself))), i mean dont go full autistic but dont feel like theres anything wrong with you and you need to hide It, explain yourself or apologize - you have the right to be on this fucked planet Just like every other fuckface... Also when you dont give a shit and behave like you feel you will end up meeting interesting people, and by interesting i dont mean similar to you, but interestingly weird in some other way

You need to believe that you deserve to be happy, user. You worked hard to become wealthy, there's no reason not to spend a little in life quality.

Clothing is a very personal thing, it is a projection of your interior, your taste. It doesn't matter if you want it or not, it talks about you to others.

Also there is no reason to do what everybody does (family, house, car, dog), you can achieve happiness by focusing on your hobbies, interests, etc. Force yourself our of your bubble, and live new experiences, that will give you a wider perspective (almost anything should work, I don't know, skydiving, telescope stargazing, travelling...).

PS: I am just another mediocre poorfag, you shouldn't listen to me.

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Sometimes I think this but the normans are judgmental

Thank you user

this OP, at the end of the day, you have nothing to lose from trying this, but you have so much to gain

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Youll get a lot of meme answers here OP but if you've been conditioned all your life to be a solitary person it's pretty much impossible to trick yourself to be outgoing and social

And when you do it's just painful

Get some hobbies you're passionate about and get a girlfriend

The latter is easier said than done though, maybe use dating sites. Make sure to looksmax and be self aware before you do it

12 rules for life antidote to chaos

>am I actually literally mentally ill and broken forever?
You're the perfect labor/consumption unit, no direction in life, no character, no passion, just endless slogging as a virtue.

Your definition of "made it" is fucked up, objectively, but as far as the mall that's replaced society goes, you're no threat.

the anxiety you get from acid and weed is the effect of washing away all the bullshit you've been fed, do it enough time and let go, when you stop getting anxiety from it, then you have cleaned your brain from the bullshit ego stuff and then you can start learning from it.
the anxiety of acid and weed is just like when neo was shown the real world and he freaked the fuck out.
i started with dxm so i never got the anxiety since it's a dissociative psychedelic, lets you see the truth by being outside of yourself... try ketamine it's like dxm but stronger and shorter, dxm is disgusting and I can't believe how many trips I've done chugging robotussin bottles like they were lemonade.
also if you can get dmt it's the holy grail, but I never tried it since i can't seem to find it (ordered acacia root bark once but it got opened in customs and they sent me a letter that it was illegal to import this)

look at this fucken NPC

I used to be in your position socially, growing up.

What helped me was getting in touch with my roots, looking at how my grandparents for instance lived and socialized, and how that is an extension of how their ancestors lived and socialized.

For instance, my grandfather was a badass in his local community who purposely took whichever side of the issue the majority was not on, and then taunted everyone until they switched to his side.

My ancestry is all white Europeans though, so ymmv.

This unironically.

Also, the clothes maketh the man.
Do not underestimate this.

And don't just read this and go "maybe"; actually go outside and buy clothes that are decent and well-fitting.
If it's summer where you live, get a polo shirt and some slacks. Make sure they fit (shirt long enough, pants not too tight or too loose).
Get a haircut and some shades too.
And walk up straight.

Yeah dress like this if you want to look like an autistic idiot

I want to go back to bjj during the winter when I have more time off, but I feel it would be more beneficial to go to school with that free time(my job pays for school and my old gym cost 125$ a month).
So it seems like a no brainer. But I also still think I have a sliver of a shot of becoming a pro fighter. What do user?

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Lol are you high I have it running on my raspi right now