What's the best way to get fired (legal), Jow Forums...

What's the best way to get fired (legal), Jow Forums? Was thinking about just not going to work anymore but I thought I might make it a little more fun.

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Depends on what your job is. A little more info would help a lot.

distribute 9/11 truther propaganda at work. you might redpill someone in the process

Do you have direct contact with the clientele?

I would probably buy listening devices and place them all over work. Hear peoples secret shit and then start to fuck with them. Nothing illegal but definitely some hilarity potential. Get creative, have fun.

I do government accounting. The most contact i've got is emails.

>this is legal

convert to islam and become transgender at the same time. announce this to everyone via email, save records. especially, start carrying a notebook and write down anything that makes you feel unwelcome, microagressions, etc.

no need to set an alarm clock anymore. each day, wake up when you feel like it and dress up in your burka or hijab + skit tight spandex bodysuit or whatever.
go the office. just do whatever you feel like. watch tv with the sound on, etc. always say yes / agree to any instructions from authority figures. ignore / fuck with everyone else. file an HR complaint every time anyone talks with you. request a space for your prayer mat and do 30 minutes of napping / prayer per hour.
you get the idea user. save your records to give to your lawyer if they try to fuck with you at all.

I want to get fired in a way that I could still collect unemployment. It would make for a good several months for me.

Fuck that would be pretty fun.

Alternatively, JQ propaganda. I guess its kind of the same thing though.

Fucking genius

Don’t be a degenerate just save up a decent amount and quit. To collect unemployment without a real or fake medical condition is a huge pain, you have to go into the office like a peasant and explain why your job search isn’t working, and actually go fail in interviews, etc

Quit on a day when work is going to be busy and there will be a shortage of staff.

Based and redpilled

Sexually Harass Everybody


Everybody

Rape the boss's wife

Solid.

Could even be meme material.

There is a lot of shit-starting that you can do via email. Especially if you're part of the government, which will get in trouble for all sorts of stuff. Try any type of trolling from the following website.

emailsfromanasshole.dontevenreply.com/top.php

Or better yet, sexually harass the people that are virtually un-harassable. E.g. the 60 year-old male janitor.

Or do sexual harassment that cannot be legitimate described. If somebody says
>He put on a unicorn horn, and started having sex with a potted plant.

Will anybody believe them?

Rape and torture your boss's kids to death, bury them upside-down wearing a party hat, vomit congac on their graves then post the vids online and send a link to all work colleagues. This pretty much guarantees you'll get fired.

SHILL LINK

OP wanted to get fired, not promoted user

>best way to get fired (legal)
There isn't one? It's illegal to purposely get yourself fired. regardless of how you do it. If you want to quit, just quit.

Go on a huge rant about how SNTVT's "new internet" will "PUT YOU ALL OUT OF A FUCKING JOB YOU PIECES OF SHIT" ... they won't understand, but the situation will stick in their brain until it's actually true.

good point. but op only wants to get fired because he doesn't know how to control the workplace dynamic. nothing is more dangerous than someone who doesn't care if they get fired and are life judo masters.
my advice is completely non-ironic btw. i'm an executive at a medium size company, the plan would work.

This it's fucking gold level autism.

If you pull this off the company will almost certainly pay you off especially if you are hyper cucked Canada or somewhere like California. Btw kill yourself if you are after you have spent the spicy sjw bribe money on coke and hookers, because you won't make it.

Start bringing emotional support animal to work, but get an incontinent one

I think you're wrong. If he wants to sue, he needs to categorically avoid giving them legitimate cause to fire him.

>no need to set an alarm clock anymore. each day, wake up when you feel like it.
>skit tight spandex bodysuit
>just do whatever you feel like. watch tv with the sound on, etc
>do 30 minutes of napping / prayer per hour
All of these are legitimate cause for firing OP. And if OP's behavior is well-documented, probably will protect the company from any lawsuits.

(Also, even the most leftist judge will be able to tell that this is s troll.)

My suggestions for Islam + Transgender
>Dress in Hijab + sluttiest dress than somebody in your company has actually worn to work. Document the dress being worn by other people.
>Stop shaving body/beard hair.
>When praying, be very, very loud, and very, very long.

the plan isn't to take it inside a court room.
he wants to be fired anyway. regardless of any documentation the company will try to settle for a couple weeks of severance and will give up when challenged on the unemployment dispute. just needs a letter on law firm letterhead and not demand too much.
we settle all the time for few extra weeks pay over literally nothing. throw some discrimination / harassment allegations in there that are backed with some scribbled notes and its plenty.

Anti-discrimination cases rarely get to court. Court is so expensive for both parties, that most people just settle. Even when there is a legitimate claim for sexual harassment, it usually won't make it to court.

But sure - if he wants to be fired quickly, you've got the best approach. I was assuming that he wanted to potentially get some money out of the arrangement.

All of this is wrong. Get fired, get unemployment. Sign up on the Internet. It’s the last gibs for the white man, don’t pass it up.

You'll get police knocking on your door in bongland