Business IQ test:

Someone gifts you a horse and you're not allowed to sell it. Tell us a creative way to monetise the horse without abusing it.

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race it

>without abusing it

Rent it to ponyfags and furries

Come on annons, you can do better than this.

Develop an Equine Therapy program with some sort of in patient program that is raping insurance already.

Teenage girls adore horses via some odd symbolic way. would pander to that by advertising riding sessions that would be heavily laced by adoration of the horse - hugging, grooming, etc

Slaughter it and sell the meat.

>monetise the horse without abusing it
That implies killing it.

>without abusing it

Abuse it

i would open a horse cafe

Breed it. Sell babies.

Enslave the village whore and have strangers pay to watch her get fucked by it.

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define abuse
Is it a mare? Can I have sex with her?

It's not abuse if you put it down mercifully before.

so beside putting it in a field I can't do anything with it ?

This would have customers if you marketed properly

Rent it out as a stud

The obvious one is to sell rides on it, but since you want creative.

Dye the horse to make it look like Twilight Sparkle. Build a model of Twilight's house from the TV show. Sell tickets to a tea parties with Twilight. Each kid gets their picture taken while riding Twilight Sparkle, etc...

Correct answer

I will make wine from fermented horse piss.

>Each kid
you're gonna get a lot of manchildren from /mlp/ showing up

This. Creative and simple. Great job user.
/thread

>racing the horse is abuse but coloring it with dye and letting kids ride it isn't abuse
you're a faggot OP

great athlete monetize themselves lad

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It's just paint and harmless kids. Racing it it taught...

Good, it'll cost them alot extra. Especially if they want a late night "stargazing" session.

Adult rides cost more obviously.

Also, not really creative.

This but have a professional care for it under legally binding clause where the profits from selling offspring is split accordingly. No maintenance just money.

Selling offspring and I forgot studding.

this

I would get a custom tux fitted for him and a proper top hat. then we would go downtown and charge tourists $5 to take photos with him.

Take it to one of those old timey historical villages for tourists, pretty sure every state has at least one of these. Lend them the horse for decoration purposes but he's gotta come back when they close for the winter. i dont do jack shit and profit.

Sell its Jizz

Brilliant

Not bad...

Not bad either...

Feed him on grass only until he turns into a chad horse and upload videos to youtube.

Make rope from the tail and hang yourself faggot

Open a youtube channel for the horse. With its name on it and a cute picture or drawing of its face as the logo.
I hire an artist on fiverr to make cute drawings of the horse for the wallpaper of the YT channel, and many other forms of drawn content.
Buy a decent camera and watch a few video tutorials about how to use it well. Then make video tutorials on how to care about your horse, how to train it, how to feed it, etc etc etc.
Keep the videos at 10-15 minutes max. At first nobody will watch the videos but keep producing good content anyways. Hire one of these pay-per-post agencies if necessary to make comments in your videos to kickstart the growth of your channel.
Eventually lots of people will watch it. You can trust me on that. Even if they never plan to ever have a horse, or ride one or whatever. Just show the damn horse doing cute things. People have lots of time to waste and they will watch. Especially once the Youtube algorithm kicks in and it starts recommending it to everyone under the sun.
Put affiliate links in the description to pages that sell stuff I use to take care of the horse. Hair combs, lotions, "special" feed for the horse, those tools that people use to trim their hooves, whatever. Sell merch also.
Eventually open a shopify store dropshipping all that garbage at a 300% markup. That's where all the big bucks come from.
Advertise for horse-related services at the end or middle of your videos. Does your fiancee want to go to church on marriage day riding a horse? Rent one! Contract this horse-renting service for those special occasions!

God damnn, I could think of a million more ways I could monetize a fucking horse and I'm half drunk from beer trying masquerade my crippling loneliness, but I would hit max post length.
You all are a bunch of fucking retards with no brains and I don't know why I spend my time here with you.

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ABSOLUTELY BASED

What the fuck kind of fucked up gift has strings attached? Give it back there’s something wrong with it. The amount I will save by not having to feed house and figure out something to do with it makes single horse ownership useless to me.

Jerk it off and sell the jizz to horse girls

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Fill it up with Greeks and go invade Troy

1) Determine sex of the horse
1 male - Build a wordpress site selling horse cum to breed top quality horses specializing in horse related events. If female use craigslist,offerup and facebook marketplace to find horse owners willing to give you cum for free. Say science project/business use.whatever. If paid offer $45 cash on the spot, as its harder to resist cash sales when presented in person.
Second, use on page seo on site to target said areas that are interested in horse racing, kentucky derby, and horse care. Spend $30 for facebook ad testing to determine the best location/ad copy.

2) Purchase a botted IG account on the blackhat forums. related to the animal luxury niche. Use stupid snapchat filters and take approx 250 pics using various snapchat filters of said horse. Schedule pictures to post 2x per day for 125 days at the best times. Thus building a brand of a horse with snapchat filters. For maximum effect give a "persona" to the horse similar to bojack horsemen on netflix. Began placing product advertisement for beauty hair products specifically for women using comments like "wish your hair was fab like mine'", as women are 15x more likely then men to purchase beauty products under $25 without doing any research.

Create an instagram account for it and market the shit out of it, get a following then have brands pay you to have the horse pose w/ their garbage.

3) To compliement the instagram account build a linkedin profile to reach out to midsize to small companies for product placements charging a listing fee. Can also build a moniker online doing guest post blogging to soldify the presence. Hire indians overseas to manage the twitter account...theirs so many ways to take this.

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>Take mould of horse cock
>Create plastic form of horse cock
>Add glitter to plastic
>Sell to Bronies
>Make sure horse cock is big enough that hopefully a few of them die trying to mount it
>Profit while ridding the planet of a scourge

>cum inside it's asshole every night
>don't pay for hookers
>used the saved up money to invest in crypto

how does it feel like

>bojack
>horsemen

Carriage puller during the holidays, petting zoo during the off seasons. Might not be much, but a steady stream nonetheless.

making it fuck mares and then get moneys from breeding horses

Lasagna

Breed the horse I get. Sell the offspring to be abused

>ride it without people noticing and make sure it takes massive shits infront of neigbour houses.
>create a horse shit cleaning company
>?????????
>profit

breed it

Best plan here