Let's get a wageslave cheat code thread going. I have been using this one for the past year at my retail job where I'm dealing with lots of customer service issues. Try it out if you're up for it:
>developed the ability to cry on command >Work retail job >When someone starts harassing me or making insane demands I just make myself cry >They immediately feel bad for me and tell my manager what a good job I'm doing because they think I'm mentally retarded. Manager always complimenting me and how I always get good reviews
This trick works especially well on white women and surprisingly black women. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to work on Asians and they immediately just ask for another member of the staff to help them but they generally don't snitch about bad service so it's not really a problem.
When you were a kid you probably wanted to be an astronaut. Now you cry on command for middle aged women so your overweight half retarded retail boss will give you a 10¢ raise Western Civilization
Brandon Davis
I never wanted to be an astronaut. I'm not retarded enough to believe the moon landing was real
Gavin Martinez
That’s because you are retarded, retard
Anthony Barnes
kek summary, kek
Ethan Foster
You're never going to make it dude. Sorry to say. Now I wasn't really asking for your opinion. Either share some tips on making it in this tough job market or fuck off. This thread is for working men
Lucas Jones
Nice OP. Gonna try this even though I technically don't have a normal job and am infact in the marine corps. Next time we are doing drills I will use this one to get out of exercising. Semper Fi and ooh rah. Good thread, OP
Cooper Gonzalez
Based and underrated OP. Another trick is to always hold in your shit for a work day and basically insinuate that you have a bad health issue that makes you constantly expel shit. You could get out of a lot of tricky situations by shitting your pants and they can't fire you because that would be discrimination against people with disabilities
Joshua Collins
Men don’t cry on demand for nigger bitches to feel bad. Try actually solving the customers problem and being a help instead of a crying ass little bitch. Or be a man and own your own business so you can just tell them to get the fuck out.
Dominic Gomez
Unlike you I actually love my job and take pride in my work. I don't see any reason to own a business and quit my current position
Jaxson Russell
My sassy fat fuck friend is slammimg a good piece of ass right now, a spinner. She flashed me her tits, very nice. Im kinda jelly because i havent got my dick wet in years and shes perfect. She offered me a piece a year ago but i didnt trust it. Hoping that offer will come back again. Right now im jacking off and listening to friends making off remarks about the situation and them thinking in the dark
Matthew Peterson
these are the type of people who succeed in the workplace. This is why I work from home now. First big job was retail for 3 years, damn.
Aaron Sanders
I'm sorry to hear that dude. Unfortunately I have dick pimples and women think I have an STD even though I'm a virgin and won't go the extra mile.
Jack Reyes
Yeah. People like me are the Nordic countries of retail workers. Success breeds jealousy in a lot of cases which is why my little method seems to make some people so upset.
Noah Anderson
>Try actually solving the customers problem
This is what I like to call "EXP waste." It is an inefficient way of doing work.
Elijah Jenkins
BASED.
how the fuck can you learn how to cry? that would be so useful beacuse thats what causes lots of people to break to feel sympathy to you
to add to the thread this is kind of simple but i get paid hourly so i just work my ass off for 30 minutes and dont do shit for the other 30 minutes. some hours I do the full hour to vary things up but thats what I do and i have not been caught.
BTW: I am a student-worker at my unis library
Ryan White
Kek! But I wanted to be a ship builder when I was a kid Now I'm just a naval engineer, sigh
Aaron Johnson
I just think of depressing things. Typically I'll just think of endings to animes that really affected me emotionally like Clannad, Elfen Lied, or AnoHana. Man, every time I think of Clannad I tear up jus thinking about it
Christian Reed
nice dude. ive only been able to do that twice succesfully one time my mom was about to beat the shit out of me but i cried about some sad shit i thought of and that was good.
one other time i cried to get out of a social situation by thinking of sad shit i have got to practice it more
Colton Allen
Yeah if you want my advice think of a relative dying. That doesn't really work for me because I hate my family and find humans to just be my playthings for my amusement but if you have empathy for other people this might just do the trick
Jeremiah Long
True Even for hardworking people there is some gamification of the system in any business, corporate, or bureaucratic hierarchy Often helping the customer is in line with the goal of climbing the hierarchy, but it is seldom the only factor Always being on the good side of the person that promotes you is better in every way
