I realized depression is chronical and has nothing to do with the circumstances about your life. I tried to change all variables.
>Learned computer science
>Started a business
>Started earning a nice living
>Now in a relationship with crush
>Started working out
And yet
>Still wanna die
There's no winning anons. What's doctor gonna tell me?
Other urls found in this thread:
en.wikipedia.org
twitter.com
>Computer science.
Also you should take some time off, all you name sound exhausting.
You'll find the answer soon, friend. You are on the right track.
Listen to the doctors, if you've really tried everything except medicine, then it's time.
Good job.
think of your IQ as points you must spend or you end up in a downward spiral the more points you don't use. Apparently you still have enough time on your hands to complain about life, time for a kid, or two. Get married if you want but I don't recommend it
Start doing drugs. At least you can have a little bit of happiness in your life before the lights go out.
They are going to put you on meds. Well, at least here they would strongly push for it. Weird though that it's not getting better when you keep busy and keep distracted. That's the only thing that helps me. Structure and keeping busy. I refuse their zombie making meds.
well user you sound like you either have bi-polar disorder or suffer from clinical depression...bad. If you don't want to do the meds, change your diet and stay away from depressents....ie, alcohol, weed downers. just stay away from drugs altogether. I would say try acid, but the shit you get nowadays in not acid, but if you can come across some shrooms, then give it a try, it might help. make mushroom tea, as it is alot easier to consume
Depression is your brains way of telling you something’s deeply wrong in your life.
Drugs are there to ignore your brain.
Therapists are there to guide you into figuring out what’s wrong.
Either you’re full of shit and you’ve done nothing to improve your life or there’s something deeply wrong and you should seek out a therapist.
What kinds? I'm not gonna smoke weed like a degenerate.
I was hoping it was just some pharmacological change would fix my brain and make me motivated on life again - right now, it's just auto-pilot: wake up, do my routine, head to bed.
Eh, I strongly doubt I have bipolar disorder. Clinical depression may be the case... however, there are treatments for that right?
I really feel like I've done everything. My financial and romantic situation has certainly changed. My family has majorly complemented me on how well I've taken on life, and on paper my future looks very bright. However a bullet in the head could end that swiftly.
>falling for various memes
Christ Jesus is the Key to Eternal Life. Peace, Joy, and Love which transcends human reason can only be found through Him.
>>Learned computer science
>Started a business
>Started earning a nice living
>Now in a relationship with crush
>Started working out
Achieving all that while being depressed? No. Fucking. Way.
You may be mentally ill, but you have no fucking clue what real depression is.
No earthly possession can quench the thirst of your Soul. No, you shall only be satiated through the Word of Jesus Christ, the Way, the Truth, and the Life!
Youre just overall negative and a grump, relax alittle, dont take yourself to serious and stop caring about stuff you dont like.
This 100%, youre retarded OP, youre the negative normie grump with 0 self instict, its obvious
I dont know what to tell you. I wake up, I don't wanna live, I don't feel joy, I don't feel happiness. But there's an overwhelming pressure from my successful family and peers to do well and start a family so I try things, and sometimes they work out.
>a bullet in the head could end that swiftly.
Uh...yeah? No arguments here. If you really have an overwhelming desire to kill yourself despite having a good life, and no problems...then I guess you weren’t long for this life anyway. Don’t have children, you’re a genetic dead-end.
We’re all depressed dude. We’re all racing one step ahead of nihilism and the eternal abyss waiting.
Are you working out regularly?
Yes I'd say so, I got a gym membership. I go 3 times a week: monday, wednesday and friday for roughly 2.5 hours each time.
Neither do you, apparently.
I had somewhat similar issues to you until I started to cycle and go jogging a lot in natural areas. I think it somehow changed my chemistry. I could not do it in a gym though, it feels soulless in there.
This and eating better are all I can recommend you. Perhaps less alcohol.
Also: Happiness isn't some kind of equation in which you add a bunch of items and the magic result comes out, so your "perfect" life is apparently actually flawed in some sense.
Believe me, you don't have depression. If you had depression you'd achieve close to fuck all.
Low self-esteem, maybe. I guess you're too greedy, and don't appreciate what you have. Maybe learn some modesty.
acts like a neuritic fuckwad with too much time on his hands, get's told he's a neurotic fuckwad and how to deal with it, seeks drugs instead.
Suffer and die
Well, at least you are making an effort and doing something. A lot of things, actually. Severe depression makes it hard to do even basic things. It's a constant uphill battle just to get through the day. And people just don't get it.
Therapy might help if your therapist is good. Sometimes just talking helps a great deal. To the extent that you don't need meds. Just have to make sure you find the right person. One of mine was a complete fucking idiot. Kept talking and talking with me not being able to get a word in edgewise. The dumbfuck would drive even someone with no history of depression to suicide. I found a much better one, talking to them helped.
Drugs btw made me feel even worse. They deplete dopamine levels. If you already have chemical imbalance I'd be careful. Find a good doctor, user, see if they can help.
Yep. Even if you are wildly successful depression can still work you over.
Check out the book 'feeling good' and what it says about cognitive distortions. Set aside time every day to do some of the exercises in the book.
A good tip in addition: don't just look at your emotions, but try to grasp at the 'why' you are feeling that way. There you can find more concrete thoughts you can examine and work with.
it's not depression. once you realize there is inherently no point in what we do or do not do, you just stop caring like other people might. there is no cure to this.
the only comfort i get out of life now is that since i know there is no point, and accept it, that it doesn't matter what i do or do not do. it'll all be lost to time regardless.
Give everything to me. You will feel liberated, there is nothing better than giving to me.
Alter he is depressed, don't give him the bloody black pill you nihilist
>find woman to marry
>have kids
>realize that you're no longer living your life for you, but for the future of your children
Your perspective and way you view life drastically changes when your actions and how you live your life have immediate effects on your children. You no longer have time to be depressed and dwell on things because you will be constantly engaged by your kids
Just look for God.
Sounds like everything you’re doing is motivated by trying to look good to other people. You’re here on Jow Forums for fuck’s sake, you’re never going to feel happy by forcing yourself to be a normie.
>Still wanna die
Do it Faggot.
>no time to be depressed
Sure, constantly worrying you aren't the parent your kids deserve and that you're not giving your kids as much as you could without the depression. And feeling guilty. He needs to try and get better first. It is true however that kids are a great motivation. Would've fucking offed myself ages ago if it weren't for my child.
>Still wanna die
Apparently not. Dying would have been much easier than any of the other things you listed.
I think I have found the woman I wanna have a child with, and I'm closing in on a situation that allows for us to have a child and for her to stay home for a year while living comfy.
You don't just give up on life without trying.
It's physically impossible to do the things you mention while being clinically depressed. It's not a matter of willpower or feeling any meaning in what you do, that's pretty much the modern soulless condition.
Dr. Shekelberg will tell you to pay up
Doc's gonna tell you "you're right!" and throw some meds your way.
Take 'em. It's not a big deal.
Jim Carrey is pretty damn successful.
>You don't just give up on life without trying.
You do if you no longer want to live.
patience user
it gets better
leave denmark, terrorist attacks coming soon to all of europe
you sound a little bit like me.
i started programming in high school in the 80's. went to college, started businesses, made lots of money, married, had children, raised them to adulthood.
the entire time (and even now still), i get bored as fuck with life and feel like there's no point to existence.
i've tried meds over the years, and they sometimes help. (if you've never been on them, give them a chance, they can indeed be helpful).
overall, the only way that i keep that desire to cease to exist at bay is by keeping myself busy busy busy all the time. i have work that i have to do for clients, i have my own startups that i do, my children and i play music and work on projects outside, i ride my bike every day.
it's like a constant 24/day job just to keep myself from thinking too hard about the pointlessness of it all.
but it keeps it fun. :)
hang in there, man, and good luck. i hope your dr appt goes well and you find something that helps. :)
Meds can and do help stabilize you for a while, but cognitive behavioral therapy is a much more thorough and sustainable way to help with depression for the long run.
Without God there's no happiness.
Depressed user here. Please don't listen to what people on the internet tell you, including me. There's so much misinformation in just this thread alone...
Go to your doctor, ask for therapy first, give it a shot, do your best to express yourself to your therapist even if it's really difficult. It took me a couple of sessions before I could even really talk about anything to do with myself.
Then if your problems persist, go back to your doctor and ask to try meds. Therapy and even medicine won't cure your depression by themselves, but they will give you the tools you need to overcome it.
All you gotta do is have a real brush with mortality, it will straighten you right out trust me.
That's great, user. But make sure you're ready. Kids are great. But baby's first year is insane. It's brutal even without depression to have to deal with. You and your wife both are going to be sleep deprived for months. On top of that you'll have to function at work. That does a number on anyone's psyche. Plus, there is a possibility for a woman to develop postpartum depression as well. Try finding a good decent therapist and giving therapy a try first. See if it helps to get you in a better state of mind. Then baby.
Depression is usually caused by extrinsic factors, which it sounds like have taken control of and arent the issue. You need to now look at your childhood, speak with a therapist and see of there is anything that you have not delt with, abuse, molestation, etc... if there is nothing there then you are suffering from endogenous depression. Either a anatomical or physiological aberration within the brain, which needs to be treated with therapy and meds.
Nature usually helps alot
Spend a week into the wild WITHOUT cellphone or internet.
Take a cabin somwhere isolated.
It works for me...but after a while you may start to feel the lack of human contact (usually I go to have lunch in one of those isolated cafè when something like that happen).
take a book with you if you want, but nothing that makes u think
you probably have a chemical imbalance and would actually benefit from Paxil, or the truth is, you have a strong urge for function, and your life without function is meaningless. By function I mean an absolute. A lot of guys in the US military are worthless, but a lot also completely define themselves by soldering.
You need a war, either within, or without. I suggest taking up Kyokushin Karate, and making sure you are in a school that practices hard sparing. All the idealizations of death are substitutes for idealizations of glory, user. What you seek is struggle, conflict, and glory. Step 1. Find your struggle. A true man desires hardship, not because he wants to suffer, but because he wants to endure, and in doing so improve.
Its why you arent killing yourself. You are seeking function, you are seeking to endure. To improve. To everyone who has some snide, derisive comment, you can fuck off and die.
To you user, I wish you well. The drugs can help, but your subconscious desire for TRUE function, it will never go away. Its a desire to manifest change around you, or within you, and in a stagnant life, it becomes destructive like a husky tearing up its master's property.
You fucking retard, its as easy as saying "I don't wanna die"
This can't be true. Scandinavians nations are the happiest ones on the planet. You want depression? Come to the USA and see the income inequality and systemic racism everywhere!
trust me, you don't know what you're talking about. there are plenty of people who are bi-polar. they have both depression and mania.
sure, when you're in the depressive phase of the cycle, you don't get shit done. but when you're in that manic phase, wooooo boy, you get shit done like crazy.
so, yeah, it's possible. i've been doing it for the past 40 years. it makes for a very unstable life, so you try to get use to the "adventurousness" of it, and go along for the ride for as long as you can.
>what kinds? I'm not gonna smoke weed like a degenerate.
At this point in your miserable, pathetic existence, does it really matter what kind?
Exercise
Don't take the pharmaceutical jew
meth
Living in the age of Kali yuga will do that to a man.
>The state of your brain (a biological machine) is independant of the environmental circumstances
No, brainlet. Of course your circumstances are relevant. But it also depends on what you choose to think/do.
what he won't tell you is that depression is a spiritual crisis.
gotta confront that boogey man in the mirror & reconcile that niggling demon on your shoulder.
the solution is CBT Cognitive Behavior Theraphy. You control your negative thoughts, that effects your positive emotions, and that breeds positive behavior. Thoughts, Emotion, Behavior. No drugs needed. You could be feeling better in a week from simply reading any CBT book.
en.wikipedia.org
DO IT OP
this is Jow Forums systemic inequality doesn't exist!! black people are just poor and stupid because they're black!!
mate you still havent ruled out health factors
do you have back pain?
back pain specifically neck strain due to pc use is an epidemic that most people arent even aware of
do you have nutritional deficience? are you even taking enough sun? lack of sun exposure leads to depression
there isa good reason why norgefags suciide a lot, you dont get enough sun
This, also Paroxetine.
Feels bad, but you'll get better. Fight, fight, fight
Don't tell him shit, lie, that's what everyone does.
sadly dindus dont suicide they just shoot other people and chimp out
I do write code for something that I do, but I'm not a coder. Writing code depresses the shit out of me, and I think differently. I periodically have to take time to write code, because I can't do the primary job and write code and be functional at both. It's either or. Completely different mental activity. When I write code, I get very sad and drop out of human activities. Maybe you just hate writing code? Now I dread when I have to adjust programs, so it upsets me. But I was very happy when I didn't require to write code fro what I did, even though I was way less successful. With writing code I'm more successful but I fucking hate every minute of it. I tried hiring coders, but it's nearly impossible to direct everything they do and shitty product results. I have to do it myself. Coding is inhuman shit. You don't care about anything, and your sense of reality is warped.
Stop looking for outside sources for validation and happieness.
How happy you feel is determined by how much love that you give and how much love that you recieve (more of both is better)
Freedom is something that you find inside yourself.
Sounds like you need to travel to some third world shithole to help them get running water, or electricity, or some useful humanitarian mission.
Do something useful.
the first step is to not ask Jow Forums about advice for anything, holy smokes man
hmm. doesn't sound right.
I assume you tried SSRIs already. If so, time to try ketamine, meditation, hallucinogens maybe.
i'm sorry to hear that, man. i've been programming for more than 30 years and i love it.
i suppose if i were working on code that i absolutely hated, then i would grow to hate coding. but i'm lucky: i'm an independent contractor and i only work on stuff that i'm really into. it keeps it fresh for me.
perhaps you can try something like that?
Its chemical.
Get that fluoride out of you.
Avoid tea, soft drinks that you don't know the origin of and switch to a toothpaste that isn't fluoridated, but some lie and still have monofluorophosphate in them.
Once you have your endogenous melatonin production back, that layer of emotional insulation and lack of anxiety you had as a child will come back.
>But there's an overwhelming pressure from my successful family and peers to do well and start a family so I try things, and sometimes they work out.
>overwhelming pressure
hmmm
whoops, nvm. i just now re-read your opening line, and you said you only do some coding as support for something else that you do.
yeah, i have some friends from college who were like that (eg: mechanical engineers who had to write fortran code for simulations).
since your outsourcing efforts have not been that great, maybe you could change the way you're trying to outsource. see if you can find a programmer who writes great code to do it for you (eg: don't just look for the lowest bid). once you find that dude, you guys will make a great team.
i have an electrical engineer friend who always has me write the code for his products, and it's great fun for us both.
good luck.
I read somewhere that there is a correlation between intelligence and how aggression is expressed. The higher the intelligence the higher chance there is that agression will be turned inward (i.e. suicide or suicide attempt). Their wording, not mine. And with low intelligence you see aggression always expressed outwardly, i.e. taking it out on other people. I wish I could find it, was an interesting read.
You sound like you are under non existent pressure and your day is too planned to enjoy the little things and do something enjoyable like a hobby.
I've never tried them, but you are the specific type of person anti-depressants were made for (everything going well yet still miserable)
Take some mushrooms and journey into the forest
I automate my activity. It gives me tremendous edge, so I have to do it. It makes money for me too. I just feel coding is being lost in details all the time, and my thought process is very rigid when I code. I need to be fluid to work. So I have my partner take over when I need to do something with coding. I fucking hate that part of what I do. It depresses the shit out of me. If it was my job I would probably go insane. I was trained as mathematician, so coding is not a problem. It's just alters the thought process I have completely. I'm way less lucid and slower.
I'm in almost the same boat.
>Two STEM Degrees
>Started my own business
>Strong relationship going for 6 years
>About to go back to grad school for my Master's with scholarship
I just never feel good enough, and I'm always just mentally tired and hoping I die in my sleep. Very few things make me happy, or even content for that matter, and when they do it's a fleeting feeling.
Just think of your family. I know my success makes my mom happy, so I work hard to make her happy while she is alive. When she dies, I'll probably blow my brains out if I do not have kids by then.
The only thing that will change your attitude is a change in your thoughts. How you achieve that is up to you.
Take a stimulant like Adderall/Ritalin for 3 days (ONLY 3 DAYS NO LONGER) and the depression should be gone. Depression is mainly caused by lack of gratitude for your own motivation. This will basically jump start you.
The problem is I need real time stuff and there are lots of assumptions. You have to determine where to cut what, and its different from program to program. For some programs some details are irrelevant and it's better to not even deal with them, for some programs it's the other way around. I've had problem explaining to the programmers all assumptions, because there are too many, and the other problem is I try to write whatever code I do with the primary goal of never touching that piece of code unless it's minor model adjustments. It's not how programmers work, that I discovered.
live stream
>when
Understand that the brain is not designed to be happy 24/7. If it were, nobody would self improve, because there would be no motivation. Eliminate the expectation to be constantly happy, which is a meme pushed heavily on us. The happily ever after tale is b.s. you don't just accomplish a few things and live happily ever after. You also don't just acquire some material possession and become happy either. Happiness is fleeting. Enjoy it when it arises. Don't chase it endlessly.
With this in mind you can perhaps become more at peace with the fact you have times of unhappiness. Peace is more important than happiness and more sustainable.
bruh,im a neet my crush left me,been out of work for a while and its not looking good,i have a shitty small flat and on top of that autism lmao
you have a good job,a girl you love prospects and found the motivation to get fit and you think you have it tough? stfu you retard
even i whos in a situation 10x worse than yours would NEVER off myself,you are a fucking joke.
even as a loser i still fight on,while you have it all you wanna throw it away like a faggot
sort yourself out you cunt,also the drugs dont work they just mask your depression,embrace it and dont take anything to numb it no booze or drugs,become one with the void till you are immune to it and start climbing the ladder back
you want to kill yourself when you have a life others would kill for
I hear you OP. I had worked out for like 2 years, 5 days a week. Got fit as fuck. Had a huge windfall at work and made over $400k in a single year. Paid off all my debts. Was married to a good woman. Even at that peak, I felt that it was all meaningless and couldn't see why I was even bothering. I even did the shrink thing and tried like 7 different meds. Nothing helped.
I just crashed. Quit my job, got divorced, blew through my savings in a few years, eventually lost my house. I got a McJob thinking maybe something low-stress that would just let me live quietly on my own would be the answer. After 2 years of that, I had saved up over $30k and I was still miserable. Quit that job and now I'm just running through my savings, after which I'll kill myself.
>There's no winning anons. What's doctor gonna tell me?
It seems like you need the lord in your life
I have a cure to your (((illness))).
>go lay down on railroad
>wait for a train
>be cured
Don't thank me.
Why does the actual work that you do make you feel?
Why do you want to die?
Also have you spend time in nature without music or anything? Like, just walking around?
Mushrooms?
same. but i've also noticed that when i do try to improve myself, when i stop smoking, eat better, and start exercising, it turns out, i want to die even more, so i give up after a coupe of week and relapse into a slacker
hmmm, i'm mildly intrigued by the nature of the problem.
Just take up smoking. It will make you feel a little better AND shorten your time here!
depression means you aren't smoking enough cigarettes
Depression is from low neurotransmitters in the brain. There’s increasing evidence that it’s from our crappy diet and environmental pollutants like BPA etc. Emotional trauma and stress can reduce the neurotransmitters too. Long term, it’ll change the set point so you’re always depressed. Meds can help reset the normal set point and get you back to your correct levels.
The brain is 65% fat. Low fat, low protein, high carb diets will throw everything out of balance.
Meds artificially restore the balance, which is helpful for short term, but you’ll also need to find a long term answer.
You need to work with your doctor to try out some anti depressants. Some will make it worse, and some will make it better and possibly fix things for the future. You’ll have to try it to see if it works.
t. Been there. Got better. Now happy.
Exercise is great because it releases endorphins. However, you need to be consuming protein, or your muscles will be stealing it from your brain which will make it worse.
Did you try not being a pathetic little shit?
You need a purpose in life to be working towards. Otherwise everything feels meaningless and you get depressed. Identify what you want to achieve in life and pursue it.
I used to trade stocks by hands. Then I started to write programs to do what I would do automatically across the entire market. I basically am able to convert whatever I think is happening into numbers and model. There are assumptions. if I get a programmer, I have to bring him up to speed. Apparently programmers can't do what I do. I've had 4. They were promising, but the problem is they don't understand finance, so weird things were happening. It's just adding risk to more risk to get somebody to code. At least I don't have infinite loops buying something and I can find the bug if I have one. The point is safety first, and whatever else second. You have to be aware that your program can do terrible things. I personally hate it because I get bogged down by so many details. It eventually overtakes a bigger picture, so I can't do it all the time. I lose sight of environment with coding. I also feel like something heavy is pressing down on my thoughts when I code. Too many details. My outlook on things changes too. It's not something that could be practiced with trading. My partner doesn't code and reads news. So I can unload on him when I have to do new box or fix something. He is plugged into the environment all the time. I plug in and plug out. I would rather just stick to models than coding. It's so many details. Fucking orders alone are major pain in the ass how they are done across exchanges. Feeds, all the other book keeping shit. It's a lot of details you have to keep in your head whenever you do something. Not very interesting stuff, but essential to producing something useful.
Eating right is vital. Not low carb bullshit. High fat, high protein from non processed foods. Vegetables, meat, oils like coconut and olive. Don’t eat anything boxed or easy. It’s all crap. Eat like your great grandma was cooking for your grandfather in 1920.