The americans hate this

>a sink that low
americans are midgets

Want a nice clean and wet hole ready for all those rapefugees, good thinking and how considerate you euro cuck

americans always think buttholes are for sex

because fingering your self in the was with a paper condom is less gay
burger logic

btw im european, just here visiting. There arent any bidets here either

>fingering
more like scarping and moving shit around ur asshole

I use 3 shells

scraping*

Here is how you wipe like an American and support American made paper products:

>1. Stand to wipe to maximize shit smearing between butt cheeks. As an American you should stand proud while wiping your ass, especially if there is no door on the stall
>2. Wipe initially with a large wad of toilet paper, IMPORTANT: DO NOT FLIP. One wad per wipe, the way G-d intended
>3. Flush toilet several times throughout the shitting and wiping process.
>4. Once you have removed most of the shit, grab a pack of non-flushable baby wipes and begin wiping ass to remove the rest of the shit. Non-flushable isn't actually true. They flush fine, just make sure to follow rule 3. IMPORTANT: DO NOT FLIP. One wipe per wipe.
>5. Once there is no more shit and you have struck blood, switch back to toilet paper to dry ass and absorb any blood.

Europoors just can't fathom the freedom in the standing 3 phase wipe method.

>IMPORTANT: DO NOT FLIP.
>IMPORTANT: DO NOT FLIP.
Kek

so ...less gay??

all done in the middle of a wal mart isle I might add

If assholes are only to be used for shitting as you say then a paper wiping is plenty adequate. You only want a enema clean asshole for butt fucking. Hence the euro way of a dedicated bathroom fixture to get the asshole anal sex clean

>burger knows he has a crusty/musty asshole
>doesn't give a fuck
wew

I have one and it is fantastic. Cost $35 from amazon and installed on my toilet seat in 10 minutes

I would just like to point out that I get this reference. Top kek.

Yep cause its only for shitting, us burgers are not dogs sniffing each others assholes for greetings like ths french do

convince ur fellow burgers user

Do I put my asshole over the pipe?

We don't hate it, we just don't have it. I have never seen one in this country. If I did, I'd use it.

So, you are telling me you just wipe your asshole till it bleeds and go on about your day?

>this confuses the amerilard

Attached: wc-istuin_bide-agrelli[1].jpg (711x1024, 123K)

Tonight, we go to Taco Bell

>Welcome to the garden
>Garden in the Valley
>Valley of the Jolly Green Giant

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Anyone over the age of 25 that I tell in real life tells me that they are thinking of getting one. I think they will really start to blow up soon. Makes hemorrhoid problems so much easier

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Arent bidets common only in the southern europe?
I have never seen one in my life

>bleeds
I've seen 2 people mention this now, wtf are you doing to make your ass bleed? I usually just take a shower afterwards, but in cases I don't, I use witch hazel.

Honestly confused. How do you use that thing without making a mess of something?

So you oil up your asshole?

stop being fat

Leaf...are you retarded?
Genuinely asking

Oil? It's alcohol based, smells clean, and actually cleans your ass. Spraying water isn't cleaning anything.

Those are for your butthole? I've always used them to wash my feet.

I don't even know what that is

Use toilet paper until clean and a wet wipe for good measure. Don't shit away from home.

A lot of people have hemorrhoids

Weight wouldn't have anything to do with it. Seriously, explain to me how you use that thing

So after you spray your ass, do you walk around with a wet, shitty butt?

>wet
yes
>shitty
it removes the shit

Attached: shartinmart.jpg (673x789, 65K)

Burger.....are you hygienic?
Genuinely asking

I have no clue as to why you think we wipe till there is bleeding but its called good toilet paper. Again we are talking about an asshole where shit comes out of, why would it need to be sanitized clean

I have a great diet and consistent stool. I use no more then 8 squares of paper per shit. It really is not brain surgery. I do have a "bidet" seat (swash 900) that was given to me after my father passed partly as a joke, partly for use. It is an overpriced pos, but he swore by it after he lost use of his upper body muscles due to ALS. I am a pipefitter by trade, which means I can plumb. He too was a pipefitter. The joke is not funny unless you are a pipe fitter, and I cannot explain it any better.
Eventually I will hook it up, and the joke will be complete. I may be able to hook up a toilette seat, but I am still a pipefitter.

Attached: brondell-swash-900[1].jpg (500x500, 16K)

Do you guys still use your hands too?

Fpbp

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I love this. After going to Italy I bought myself one.

I would install a bidet if my bathroom was roomier. Ultimately I hate buying toilet paper. It adds up and a bidet is cheaper and quite honestly does a better job. A pack of name brand toilet paper is what, 20 bucks? And girls use the shit like it’s free. Nah, bidets are better

>spending the rest of the day with a smelly crack full of shit-paper particulate
Smell your underwear at the end of the day. It shouldn't smell like that.

Advice: squatting while shitting is optimal form and it allows you do shit out a single, continuous log. Shitting in a different way will just cause you to waste tons of paper.

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ok but that movie was actual trash

>single, continuous log.
I sit while I shit, and can pull off an "impossible snake" nearly every time. If people just ate correct, they would have no issues.

There really is something nice about cold water a you hot sweaty rectum. between showers from a good buday but that thing looks like a mess waiting to happen.

Attached: pepe.gif (655x444, 795K)

The American Bidet.

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Is that some kind of tap?

Yeah and Europeans love it, got to make sure your assholes are clean and well accomadated for the refugee cock you'll be taking

An asshole smells like an asshole, dirty underwear smells like ass, where is the issue if your just using your ass for shitting?

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lightweight

the reason it smells like ass is because amerimutts think its normal. Its not normal

>. Spraying water isn't cleaning anything.

Silly me, believing rinsing something with a solvent cleans it.

Solvent? Doesn't it just spray water?

I live in Thailand, we got that spray thing, it took me a few month to get used to it but now I'm not going back. I can't believe I used to only use toilet paper, unhygienic and bad for your butthole.

You know the spay nozzle has other people's shit on it right? You know when you use it you spray strangers' shit straight into your asshole right? Not as bad as the ones where the spray comes from below, but the nozzle still has shit splatter on it. Americans wait to go home to wash their ass in their own shower with their own soap. Europeans are unhygienic, dirty, shit sharing fucks. So yes, Americans disapprove.

Does water come out of a bidet at a pressure similar to that of a pressure-washer, like the things you can use to clean a sidewalk or a concrete wall?

I ask because if it is just coming out at the same pressure as the faucet... then how does it remove the shit? Do I wipe too? I think I have heard you cannot put toilet paper in them. So what is the advantage of using one? A wet ass with wet shit on it? Is the water hot/warm?

Uh... I recognize the place in that pic, I pass through there nearly every day.

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So do you just pick out your poop chunks from the sinkdrain stopper?

i made this thread cause i like seeing americans ask retarded questions

Do Europeans actually sodomize themselves or is this just a meme Americans made up

its the ol water asser blaster

We see a lot of these in gay guys houses here

Nothing wrong with taking one up the ass but I still wouldn't use a faggy buttsink

The average American's knees would explode squatting over that thing. They'd sit flat assed on it and rip it off the wall

>Solvent? Doesn't it just spray water?

Water is a solvent, retard.

>take poop
>dont wanna be gay and use paper to finger my asshole
>click ass blaster
>water is injected into my asshole at mach speed
>ass cheeks peeled off due to sheer force of water pressure
>put on pants with wet ass and call it a day
its tough being third world

>use toilet paper to wipe
>use bidet
>use toilet paper to dry
Wow, this is hard!

Kek
Most are too young for this

These actually strip protective mucus from your ass and dry it out so when you do end up using tissue paper or just taking an ungodly shit, prepare for blood.

Looks pretty lame compared to our Toto toilets with temperature/pressure control buttons for bidet.

interesting.
source?

>take shower
>wanna get a good wash in
>get the ass soap
>soak it in the warm water
>slide it into ass, swoosh it around
>plop it out
>use it wherever else i gotta use it
>grab ass hose
>give my self an enema in the shower cause im not a third worlder
and THATS how you wash like a real man.

pic with timestamp

Apparently you can safely absorb sea water through your colon? Not sure why people are worried about fresh water

NO, solvent is solvent, You clean engines with it.

Fucking water wont clean fecal bacteria off you fucking retard.

Here we shit, shower (with anti bacterial soap) and shave.

Yeah those things are fucking incredible

Americans are too fat to wipe their own ass.

Attached: 3-52.jpg (600x513, 39K)

But we love sageing.

Self cleaning $10,000 toilets

No that's a sea survival myth, it will dehydrate the fuck out of you. Ass chugging bypasses your liver also.

Imagine being so fucking gay as to use a fucking device used to fucking spray water into your asshole and act like anyone else who isn't a faggot is in the wrong.

How about wipe, and take a fucking shower, like everyone else you in denial eu faggots. Fuck off.

Dz oz says just spit on your toilet paper since antibacterial soap is bad for you and your anus

>NO, solvent is solvent, You clean engines with it.
Water is a solvent. It dissolves many materials. Just because you drink it does not change this fact.

thats because they wafflestomp in the shower