A Round of Applause for London Cops Please!

That metal file could give particularity bad skin burns if used offensively. God Save The Queen and God Save Her Magesties Police Force.

I wish I could meet one of the officers who do this, just to see what they're like. It's hard to imagine an actual human confiscating "weapons" like these, I wonder what they're like. Would be creepy to be sure.

twitter.com/MPSRegentsPark/status/974645778558980096

The most fucked up thing is that they also get paid for doing this. I really wish I could ask one of them if they truly think it's fine that they're being paid money to go around stealing people's screwdrivers. How can they even live with themselves?

Da coppas took one looka me. They looka me ans an said "Dat man don't ava fist loicense!" Den e came uppa me wit a meat cleava an lopped me ans off.

They have cameras everyone, surely one spoon raid must've made it onto whatever their equivalent of world star is.

The most fucked up thing is, minimum security inmates in US prisons have more dangerous shit in their possession, legally.

holy shit!!
my toolbox! They found my toolbox.
and i thought it was stolen by muslims

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>its real
This is someone's toolset, a Phillips, a flathead, snips, needlenose, and pliers. Legalized theft and attempt to put a tradesman out of work.

So could your fist. Better lob them off right?

i hereby grant you your wish

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>"Swee-E. Wheh ah tha snippy snips? Oi need ta cut sumthin."

Prison planet.. holy fuck

All I can say is... wow

I still haven't been able to figure out of these are joke pics. They seem fucking fake, but at the same time, I would also say they seem real. They would probably have a fucking heart attack if they ever swept my house, I have a lot of tools and scissors, and some actual weapons. Also, I have been meaning to ask, what the fuck is a weapon sweep anyhow? Like do they find this shit on the street, or do they walk into people's homes and find their tools and bike tires and whatnot?

Only preschool scissors allowed on prison island from now on.

Does honestly make little old British ladies feel safe? I don't even understand why they tweet this crap out. It seems like a waste of time.

Jesus Christ that's comical.
The pencil-neck who gave me my last traffic warning could destroy all three in a fight.

You can just tell when someone has zero balls. Facial hair be damned.

>killing someone with pliers and file
So you're saying i'm going to pinch someone to death and sharpen an edge on a tool that's designed and hardened to remove metal?

Wait, would Brits pay me to mail them back their farming & arts and craft material now?

Assault teeth.

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It's all shit found on the street. Think, cops doing litter patrol but only for anything that could be used as a makeshift weapon.

Should we just ban the compound metal from Bongistan already. Anything clearly constructed of the stuff is now a weapon. They could go back to living in the non-violent Paleolithic era of stone and mud.

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>ban guns
>yeah look it worked, gun crime dropped a lot
>knife crime is huge
>huge anti knife campaigns
what's next? ban pool cues and broom sticks so people don't beat people with them?
when are they going to realize banning the object used in a violent crime doesn't actually end violent crime?

So, what you're telling me, is that in the UK there are tools just laying about all over the streets?

I guess they'll go for the nipple clamps next...

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They should do something like ban assault and murder....

Did they confiscate those pebbles too?

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i agree

I was just about to fucking post this. Get the fuck out of my head.

Don't be a loon, bin that spoon!

Oi, wheys ya assault slongshot amminition loicense ate

Where did you even come from?

Thank you metropolitian police for confiscating my toolbox. Imagine the sheer horror of the public if I tried to repair my fence with a vaguely pointy object.

nah, daddy constable plants them during the night b4 the sweep, much like the easter bunny
that gives the force a sense of success

Doin' the queen proud, they is!
Lost me mum to a madman with a file!

The best way to ban assault and murder is to allow those who are potential victims to kill threats with impunity. Better yet, pay bounties for every dead potential thief/terrorist, etc.

No

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Here's your now government approved Victory Toolset™

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Think like, under bushes and slightly buried in a park. Because of stop and frisk, "knife criminals," think a young Jamaican kid in a gang who slings drugs, etc., will sometimes stash their knives in a public place, so they have them available if need be but don't keep them at home or on their person if they think they're gonna get searched.

So the police do "weapons sweeps" and search where weapon might be stashed. Doesn't catch too many criminals' stored knives but makes some great memes.

This one is real m8

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Don’t be a queer bin those sheers.

I see these posts all the time. Are they real or satire? I Honestly dont know.

Omg I hadn't heard that Pence name before. Topkek

twitter.com/MPSRegentsPark/status/974645778558980096

>shitting in your panties
I knew kikes were disgusting.

It's real. I doubted it too. Scroll down a bunch of pages of Twatter after typing in the name. Also, some electrician had his shit stolen by these pigs.

Look at how new the tools are. That shit isn't cheap in Europe.

fucking lol

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Don't be a dick, fuck that prick!

That one is fake but lol at Google for picking it up as a weapons sweep photo

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You can. They're called TSA agents.

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Often think about this. How do they justify policing the thoughts of their own community? They live in these places too. Cops are not all evil. I would love to follow the trail of commie breadcrumbs all the way up and see where their bizarre objectives originate from. I could hazard a guess.

she is cuntspreading in feminist terms user, get that in your thoughtbulge

So do UK police actually need warrants or can they just come into your house and steal your tools and cutlery at their leisure?

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... now that i established dominance by flinging the car radio towards the gentleman

Lol, no one can be a man. How do you guys fix anything, cut paper or cook?

Is that real?

You can't make this shit up.

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oh good grief, that's a schoppp

bongs are beyond cucked
hilarious

i wish

when you let them take the guns, you can't stop them from taking everything else.

No it's not. If they can confiscate a file as a weapon, they can confiscate pencils.

kek

Australia bringing the bantz.

No, but the real original is "lost my mother to a bike wheel."

See

This can't be real

no you can't, i'll say it once again:
Jow Forums btfo'ed memetically by bong Jow Forums
might as well close the chan and call it a day

This triggers the bongs

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dumbass i'm the one that edited that photo lol...

I don't have a Twitter, therefore don't use it, but is it normal for it to "take a long time to load" after not loading for 2 second, having to try it again several times? Or are they collecting my info?

File name. Kek

>If they can confiscate a file as a weapon, they can confiscate pencils.
this doesn't make sense at first, but the more you think about it...

>You can all sleep safely tonight with bellies full of tea and fish & chips! Good night lads!
I literally fucking want to sue these imbeciles.

>It's hard to imagine an actual human confiscating "weapons" like these

I'm sure there is a good deal of profiling that goes into it too. Some street punk looking kid with 1/2 a screw driver sticking out his pocket. It's not like they are shoving mothers to the ground screaming about how she has scissors in her purse.

Checked. Have a good night user.

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I own pic related.
I'm banned from the UK.

I'm not losing sleep.

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>bong cop's face when they see this

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How comes they havent banned pint glasses yet..

waysists.

>get pulled over last week
>cop ask if there's any weapons in the vehicle
>me: "Yeah, I've a big ass knife on my side."
>hand it to cop
>he pulls it out of sheath
>cop: "damn, I gotta get me one of these."
>we bullshit about knives for a minute, he hands it back and I go
>pic related: my knife
What would have happened to me during that exchange if I was in Londonistan?

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An assassin's suitcase.

>scredriver, pliers, needle nose pliers, file
Holy shit, britcux can't even have tools now?
Okay england, you out cucked sweeden you can stop trying now.

HIGH CAPACITY TOOL CHESTS HAVE NO BUSINESS IN PRIVATE CITIZEN HANDS

I know its fake. I just find the google suggestion hilarious

>get pulled over, full blown felony stop because my car matched one used in a drive by
>cop yelling keep my hands where they can see has me doing the whole walk backwards to him blah blah blah
>asks if i have any weapons
>say i have a pocket knife in my front right pocket
>its a locking blade knife about 3.5 inches
>he grabs it through my jeans and says look at the size of that
>learns the car isn't stolen and realizes i'm just some white dude and had nothing to do with the shooting
>nothing happens and he says my bad, have a nice night
god damn it feels good to be white in murica

Cop would have shat himself. It's okay, just tell him you're a Sihk and you have to carry a knife for religious reasons.

> not using the tools of a real pro

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