Medieval Jow Forums

>When the goths project harder than a 90kg projectile at 300m

s

Firstest declaration, best declaration.

Is it true that Teutonic Order rounded up and massacred innocent merchants?

>hot
>sand in my chainmail
>women here smell like camel piss
>Saracens attack everyday
>helmet is rusty
>Ser Weltonsworth died in the last attack, he was a great inspiration.
a- at least I got to kill some heretics

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barbarians do the jobs that romans dont want to do

Scefing sceaþena þreatum,
monegum mægþum meodosetla ofteah,
egsode eorlas, syððanærest wearð
feasceaft funden; he þæs frofre gebad,
weox under wolcnum weorðmyndum þah,
oð þæt him æghwylc ymbsittendra
ofer hronrade hyran scolde!

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>slave away all your life on anvil making weapons
>merchant comes to town
>tells king to confiscate all your stock so the merchant can take it to the holy land to give to crusaders
>brother is a crusader and says they never got any weapons
>merchant sold it all to Muslim barbarians

And they wonder why everyone doth not keepeth their company.

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Hey, Henry's come to see us!

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Can confirm.
Last weapons shipment was at least 60 moons ago.
I wager that the hebrews are at fault of this

Geta skal máls, þess's mæla, menn at vápna sennu dolga, fangs við drengi dáðöflgan bör kváðu.
Baða hertryggðar hyggja, hnekkir sína rekka (þess lifa jóðar sessa þróttar orð) á flótta.

Oi bin that morningstar

Is this the larp thread?

THY PEASANT HATH A WEAPON?!

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What you think you can fight battering rams with fire and road blocks, plebs the kings men will yell at you real loud and tell you to stop then what will you do and I'm totally not the kings propaganda officer.

HARK YE GLORIOUS MAN-LOVERS
WE NEED TO FORGE PELLETS OF IRON

HAVE BARRELS OF IRON PROPEL THEM AS GOD'S RIGHTEOUS FURY TOWARDS THE ENEMY WITH BLACK AS NIGHT POWDER MADE OF GLORIOUS SALTPETER

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HAHAHA, how can pellets of iron be better than a long sword of STEEL? Peasants should not talk about warfare, are you a woman?-

Ay, where all the english women at?

>inventing new devices
Step on thy pyre please

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The common man shouldn’t be allowed to have swords, and if they are, their swords shouldn’t have cross-guards, if the sword is for defense then impaling your enemy once shall suffice.
Only the King’s knights’ swords should have crossguards

Checkedeth thine double eights

The wenches are straying from the path of the lord day by day, I'm afraid witches are at fault, put them on the stake I say!

The (((magna carta))) was a mistake

Lo, those repeating nvmerals

Thou art blessed

This etching and scroll elicited boisterous laughter

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Thy scripture hath made me simper in jest

>hacks trebuchet with a sword.

OUT OF THE WAY YOU FUCKING NOBLEMEN
peasant coming through

Witness thine divine integers

Miklagård is full of pillow biters. Pays well though. I'll be able to return home a rich man.

SLAVES! SLAVES! GET YOUR ABEED FOR A CHEAP PRICE OF ONLY 10 DINARS! SLAVES! SLAVES! CHEAP RAISIN HEADS! SLAVES! SLAVES!

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Goodness the peasants certainly are excited this afternoon

No one in mideval times read a bible or seen one, so none gave a fuck about christianity.

The kings court is full of witches and warlocks. They conspire against the common man in conjunction with the Hebrews. Day of the gallows when?

Crypto-Frenchman uncovered.

Christianity didnt exist only the political power of pope and church.

Thou shalt be next to feel righteous flames of purification

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>piss and shit in the village well
>everyone dies
Easily the biggest threat Build walls around the well now.

Why did thou cometh here Franks?

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Thou were harboring ill will towards Christian pilgrims.

thy plague is here.
I bet the merchants are behind this

I think I'm beginning to catch the Ebonic plague.

You'd only be half right. The main vector of transmission was rats AND pidgeons.

Listen here you retarded limpdick motherfucker. I’m going to try to explain this so that you can understand it.

You cannot control an entire kingdom and its yeoman with trebuchets or any of that shit that you so stupidly believe will triumph over citizen ownership of longbows. A trebuchet, cannot stand on street corners and enforce “no assembly” edicts. A trebuchet cannot kick down your door at 3AM and search your house for contraband materials or propaganda.

None of those things can maintain the needed sheriff's state to completely subjugate and enslave the yeoman of a kingdom. The King does not want to kill all of its people and blow up its own infrastructure. These are the very things they need to be tyrannical assholes in the first place. If they decided to turn everything outside of Windsor Castle into glowing green glass, they would be the absolute rulers of a big, worthless, radioactive pile of shit.

trebuchet are useless for maintaining a sheriff's state. Sheriffs are needed to maintain a sheriff's state. Boots on the ground. No matter how many knights or pikemen you have on the ground, they will always be vastly outnumbered by yeoman. Which is why in a sheriff's state it is vital that your sheriffs have longbows while the people have nothing but their limp dicks.

But when every random serf could have a dagger jammed in their tunic and every random yeoman has an longbow, all of that gets thrown out the fucking window because now the sheriff and knights are outnumbered and battering down those doors becomes a lot fucking riskier, lest you catch a arrow on your way in and face the reality of arrows coming back at them.

If you want living examples of this look at every insurgency that the French has ever tried to destroy. They’re all still kicking with nothing but longbows, pitchforks, and improvised catapults. Because these big scary knighted monsters you keep alluding to are all but fucking useless for dealing with them.

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>What is going to mass on sunday and listening to the priest reading from the Bible

Thou hath injured the Grecules.

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But how are you supposed to defend yourself against the tyrant kings soldiers? The 2A wasn't written for "hunting".

yo man dont be callin us yomen dat be racist, bitch

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>glowing green glass

You fucked up m8. Get ye onto the pyre.

>literal reddit meme

Blessed be the heavens! It is befalling! Pope declares 4th crusade! Enter my inn now you rollicking merry men!

Forgot painting

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>implying you have a chance against the kings men
Do you see the armor

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Through hit and runs tactics until knight is exhausted and then they are executed.

>miss me yet

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How long can he fight, his sword is not invincible.

>Hebrews smell of dog and conspire to put the common man in the chains of debt.

I hear that Sir Edmund's stable knave has been seen sneaking into Lady Stafford's nightchambers whilst he is off fighting the Moors.
He shall return to a half breed of illegitimate claim

It may vary upon the terrain that god wills upon us.
I have read scrolls of knights being lured into bogs untill their steeds fall from exhaustion and they themselves are spent. Which prompted the unarmored peasantry to come over yonder and beat them with sticks.

Brothers,our world is more than a closed space. It is an infinite ball where it goes around the glowing star!

Can you gentlemen stop fighting each other and help us with these muslims ? I am telling you, they are gonna become a real problem one of these days...

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It is in the name of God, most Gracious and most Compassionate.

Your previous defeats were a sign from Allah infidels. Don't repeat the same sins or his wrath and that of the soldiers of Islam will be fallen upon you...

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Light cavalry charge against knights with large maces that fucks them up from inside, continual assaults, wait for them to be exhausted, finish em off.

Time to step on the pyre

>roundearthers
Haha fucking retards

It'll be fine. You're overreacting

What? I have done nothing wrong my brothers! You will see! I will be right!
my death wont be in vain!

Knights are only for short term fighting, they can't defend or attack for long.

Heavy cavalry is used for bursts of damage.

A couple of rounds of cavalry assaults with maces would exhaust and destroy knights

>sneak into m*slim occupied city with the lads
>start killing all infidels, King's orders
>decide it would be funny to decapitate them
>become legend of ripping heads of moorish invaders
>future generations build statue to immortalise your head collecting capabilities
>even change the coat of arms to just a picture of me ripping some faggot moor's head off
Geraldo was a good lad

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>when you derail a good thread

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THERE IS LAND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ATLANTIC AND ITS FILLED WITH NAKED WOMEN

Fucking idiot, everybody knows that ocean flows over the edge of the world and dragons eat you anyways before you reach that.

>We've been advancing on the Romans for years now
>It's hot
>I'm tired
>I just want to go home

Can't we besiege Constantinople already?

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seriously guys

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I'm sorry friend, you must be mistaken as only the Europeans ever owned slaves

who even are thou?

Ich wil tiuschen frouwen sagen
solhiu mære daz si deste baz
al der werlte suln behagen:
âne grôze miete tuon ich daz.
waz wold ich ze lône?
si sint mir ze hêr.
sô bin ich gefüege und bite si nihtes mêr
wan daz si mich grüezen schône.

>darstellîg verwant

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Fucketh the Christian pilgrims, en garde infidel

But why would anyone want land beyond the Atlantic? Would it really be of any use? We should just stay here. And forget about this new land. Yeah we are just gonna stay here. Yup.

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Hey speaking of which,
An ambitious explorer by the name of Christopher Columbus is circumnavigating the globe to find new trade routes to India, you good men wish to join? It could be an adventure!

speak Latin, barbarian scum

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A crow faced man just strolled past my hovel, I think the king is planning to release miasma to depopulate the paupers. I bet those merchants who we expelled last year are behind this.

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God dwells within this scroll.