So I want to join the U.S army and fight in Syria. Problem is I can't have my dick seen because I'll get a boner. So I have never had my dick checked my a doctor because i have this thing where even the thought of someone else seeing my dick gives me a boner and i don't know why. It happens whether a man or women sees it. I'm not gay but it's the thought of them seeing it.
When you go into the army do they inspect your dick? Is it done in front of others, if its a female doctor i'd be less embarassed because it's like "oh yeah he gets a boner over a female doctor big deal" but if its a male doctor he may think im gay.
My biggest concern is the showers. Do you have to shower publically in the military? Will guys think im gay if i get a boner every time in the shower even if im staring at the wall?
>Will guys think im gay Everybody knows it already, it's fine.
Kevin Thomas
go hang out at a nudist colony for half a day and you will get over it.
Jeremiah Lopez
This unironically happened to me
Ryder Mitchell
Quality thread
Hunter Baker
>Yesss goyim, Join the military and fight for us!!! >Die for ((((( your )))) country!
Anthony White
Depends on where you end up. Some barracks have a group shower, some upper scale ones have more private 1-4 person showers. If you're a Joe, expect a group shower. As for the looking thing, just realize that most people in the shower aren't looking at you. They're focusing on getting clean quickly. You should be, too. Nobody wants to see your dick of their own volition, so just focus on that. Nobody's watching, so no worries.
Cooper Nelson
I'm not gay at all though that's the thing.
Will they think it's weird if i get a boner?
I thought that but thing is if i go to college get a job I'll be paying taxes which will fund Jewish wars so no matter what I'll do i'll be a jewish pawn.
Matthew Harris
>if you're a Joe What do you mean
>1-4 person showers 4 people in one shower? That's just as bad
>As for the looking thing, just realize that most people in the shower aren't looking at you. They're focusing on getting clean quickly. You should be, too. Nobody wants to see your dick of their own volition, so just focus on that. Nobody's watching, so no worries. Even if a have a full on boner? I'm imagining them going "Hhaha look he's got an erection bro are you gay, this guys gay as fuck!".
Easton Gutierrez
Enjoy your section 8.
Colton Brown
Why would i be discharged?
John Smith
Why not just join the navy?
Jonathan Wright
A Joe is an enlisted soldier. So E-1 up to E-4 (Private to Corporal). E-5 (Sergeant) and above are noncommissioned officers. I'm sure you know about commissioned officers, so I won't go into that. Joes are a colloquial term for grunts like Privates, PFC's, and Corporals. Honestly, 4 person showers aren't that bad. Since like I said, they're there to get clean quickly, not look at naked men. And yeah, even if you get a boner, if anyone notices, just ask why they're looking. They shouldn't, unless they're a faggot.
Hunter Davis
>not just being know as chad always boner it will be weird at first but you can make yourself something of it
Colton Sanders
You don't have to shower together in the Navy?
Nope. No nothing about the army and never knew anyone who was in it. I just am doing bad in school in my last year (im 18 before you say underage) and looks like i won't get accepted to a decent college so i might join the military.
>And yeah, even if you get a boner, if anyone notices, just ask why they're looking. They shouldn't, unless they're a faggot.
I tried that in changing didn't work. In Gym I'd hid in the corner to change but once it was crowded and one guy was there. He noticed i had a boner and pointed it out. I called him gay, DIDNT WORK. Everyone took Chads side and laughed at me calling me gay and fag and other people from other classes called me that since im the one with the boner. I called Chad gay and everyone forget about in 2 seconsd. It doesn't work doing that.
Lincoln Sullivan
Join the Navy, they're all faggots so a boner will fit right in.
Dominic Kelly
You should be more worried about fighting for jews. Does being a good goy give you a boner too?
Chase Cook
I'm not gay though.
if i get a job and pay taxes I will ALSO be fighting for the Jews.
Nicholas Evans
by paying taxes to them.
Hudson Nelson
Underrated post
Robert Long
Tell them the thought of wasting Arab civilians gives you a hardon and they'll promote you to general. Worked for me.
Carter Jenkins
No seriously im really scared people are going to think im gay.
Michael Ward
Just go be a SEAL, you'll fit right in
Jeremiah Kelly
If you’re worried about people seeing your dick and getting a boner you probably shouldn’t be in the military >t. Navy fag
Isaiah Sullivan
You can't do that.
Dylan Davis
>Nobody's watching, so no worries.
It's the new army now user. Fags are all over it. In the barracks, in your shower, in the toilet stall next to you wanking to you wanking it. You pop a rod in the shower nowdays and you're gonna make 'buddies' for life!!
Leo Wright
Stop LARPing dude, we knew you could suck a golf ball through a gardening hose from your cancer flag
Christopher King
Okay, so your E ranks go up to 9. You refer to others of your rank by their last name. If they rank higher than you, you call them by the title associated with their rank. For Sergeants, Staff Sergeants, and Sergeant First Class, call them Sergeant (no last name). Master Sergeant and above, you refer to them with their full rank, except the Command Sergeant Major, you refer to him as Sergeant Major. For the record, NEVER CALL A NONCOMMISSIONED OFFICER "SIR".
Now then, your commissioned officer ranks number O-1 to O-10. Up to O-6, they're part of the direct command structure. You always refer to an officer by "Sir". As in, yes sir, no sir. O-7 and above are generals, and you still refer to them as "sir". And please don't worry about the dick thing. Most kids in high school are secretly faggots, I guarantee that Chad looked at your dick of his own volition, so he was being a fag, not you. Most guys in the military are strangely understanding of things like that, so they won't "call you out". The whole point is group cohesion, so no worries. At most, you'll just be known as the guy who gets No Apparent Reason Boners, and that's hardly a title to lose sleep over.
Carson Miller
>R Lee Emory reference F
Brandon Adams
Have you ever considered killing yourself?
Noah Lopez
>Years of successful hiding your orientation thwarted by a single army physical
Parker Perez
I'm not gay tho
Hudson Mitchell
I'm not even gay thats the thing though. I knew when i made this thread tons of people would say im gay tho. And if the doctor who does the physical is a female i won't seem gay.
Jonathan Howard
But you won't be putting your life on the line for them you retard. At least you will be in the US, able to educate yourself and prepare to contribute less to the government, becoming more self sufficient. Better than fighting for Israel in some desert shithole
Tyler Brown
Hahaha. Don’t join the service dude. They would harangue your ass so hard.
Go get a job with some mobility in a trade and work yourself up. You like guns? Be a gunsmith or a welder or something of that sort.
James Baker
You just seem like a voyeurism fan. Like, you enjoy when people see you naked. It's degenerate, but not uncommon. If you worry over it when it happens, people are gonna take notice, and that's when they'll rib you. If you act like it's no big deal, then others will treat it that way. It's about how you act, user.
Robert Watson
Like fuck, when it happens, just say you were thinking about the last time you had sex, that'll shut most people up.
Nathaniel Myers
>able to educate yourself I can't do that, otherwise I would
And i'd probably help the government more by being a tax payer than actually COSTING them money oversees.
Kayden Kelly
Pic of boner or GTFO
Liam Mitchell
Haha. Anyways, dont bother. Trump is planning to have a "fake war" with Russia and let them nuke LA SD NY and DC and then call a cease fire after killing most minorities, Jews, media, and deep state so white people can take back America
Nolan Morales
You want to joint the Army and fight for another nation's borders? I wouldn't worry about the pathetic thing dangling between your legs. You're an insidious dickless Jew-lover.
Mason Brown
The last point is a good one. You will get a nickname. Go along with it, as long as it's good humored fun. Kick some ass if it gets out of hand.
Thomas Jenkins
lol, the implication is that the navy is already gay.
Xavier Carter
Why would they hangarue my ass?
Alright I'll try that.
Tyler Kelly
I feel that wouldn't work.
Isaiah Hughes
And Voyeruism is when you like watching other people naked.
Wyatt Jackson
OP is a Faggot
Ryan Torres
Exactly. Especially during basic. You're gonna do one stupid thing, and it'll guarantee a nickname based on it. Just roll with it, since the more you stick out, the more you're noticed. Whether that's good or bad is up to you.
Tyler Peterson
No im not.
Juan Walker
Thanks man
Lucas Turner
I think there are substances you can take to reduce the chance you will get a boner. The nudist colony thing is a good idea. If there are none around how about a fag bath house? If walking around nude among fat middle aged dudes having sex does not kill your boner then you are probably gay.
Easton Diaz
Nice Kikestani shitpost dude.
Brayden Gray
Just tell your Drill Sergeant when you get to basic training and they will make sure you have space to deal with it. Say, "Sir, I get boners when anyone looks at my dick. Would it be ok if I shower before or after everyone else?" Just be honest and explain it to them. They have to deal with odd things all the time. The Drill Sergeants are there to teach you and be your friend so you will fine.
Brody Anderson
>I want to join the army >2018 You just want to legally murder people? The army has gone pretty much continuously downhill since gwot while the reliance of tech and dumb soldiers goes the opposite. Its really absurd that anyone would knowingly take an oath to defend the constitution, and then proceed to wipe your ass with the constitution.
Have fun getting a boner when you diegoing through decorticate posturing for anti-american foreign interests in foreign lands
Joseph Wilson
I'm not gay
nice trolling dude
LOL are you kidding? I've seen the movies. Drill Sergeants would say
>What? Is this a joke you pussy ass piece of shit! EVERYBODY, CALL THIS GUY QUEER DICK BECAUSE HE TOO PUSSY TO SHOW HIS DICK
>drill sargeants are there to teach you and be your friend
Are you guys fucking retarded, obviously not served
Nathan Morales
No probs. It's fine not to know anything going in, they'll teach you everything. But it helps to know some stuff. I'd recommend research on your own for now, but yeah, no probs!
Ethan Lee
I tried looking this up but no one had this exact problem at least who looked it up.
Xavier Sanchez
half the us army is gay you will fit right in and Lt Kilgore and the platoon will fit their dicks into your boi pussi
>Have fun getting a boner when you diegoing through decorticate posturing for anti-american foreign interests in foreign lands did you have a stroke?
Matthew Nguyen
im not gay
Jordan Morales
You won't make it through basic training, there's no way you can crawl on your belly without digging into to mud, literally .
Noah Baker
Yes you do. You have the entire world at your finger tips. The entire electromagnetic spectrum is out there. They find a slice of it, zoom into it and invent technologies around that bandwidth that make billions of dollars. Just focus on what you love and do it better. My love and passion was the exact things done in the army. And that's why I didn't reup after iraq. Because its not for professionals. Its for chewing you up and spitting you out.
William Fisher
I get boners when I shoot Afghan Goat herders, it's really not that that weird
They changed things in the Army. If you feel stressed you just let them know, obviously your dick stresses you out. Just let them know that you get stressed about showering with your dick out. They want everyone to graduate, just say "sir my dick is stressing me out in the showers, may I put a shower cap on it?" It will be only the 3rd strange thing they have dealt with that day.
Austin Sanchez
I'd say porn is an option, no?
Austin Bailey
>p Why do you think im gay?
I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM AS WELL
Im ugly they'd never let me in porn.
Alexander Price
Female doctors don't care. You're on 4 chan and they've got years of med school. Ya ain't getting between those legs.
Roger dodger ranger man, tell yer momma you did yer best. Tough guy 101, you never served.. hurr durr I retarded. I be to stupid to understand the joke in the 1st post.
Hunter Kelly
and no you don't remember correctly, plenty of jobs take less than 110 you gung ho knower and approver of everyone that ever served, tough guy
Dominic Thomas
Digits confirm, trump is a god emperor
Thomas Wilson
>Why do you think im gay? 1. the way you talk 2. kekistani meme flag 3. showing your dick for a stright guy to other would make is shrivel up like its in an ice bath 4. you are underage and curios of what you are missing 20 years ago when I was your age I was the same way .
On second thought, yes, he should just join the army. It's for you. You will be fulfilled deeply there and probably meet a nice lady you can show around your barracks. You can recite oaths to your founding documents in unison with 30-100 other people in the room, none of which have ever read the document they're swearing to defend. Then you will continue the never ending progress that is occuring here. We are so much freer now than ever before, so many rights, they just keep expanding and expanding. My taxes less and less. The intelligence of the population increases along with their understanding of ethic and morality, as they continue to repopulate by totally sustainable means, generation after generation, packed into multistory shoeboxes, paved with concrete, covering the earth as far as the eye can see. Ben Franklin and Patrick Henry would be so proud.
Caleb Ward
Not only will other people see your dick, it's entirely possible you're going to be touching your dick to other men's bodies. "Nuts to butts" is not just a saying, it happens when a whole platoon is trying to get in and out of the shower before lights out.
If it makes you feel any better, the thought of people seeing your dick is not the same thing as people actually seeing your dick, and you will probably not react the same way.
Good luck fighting in Syria or doing laundry in Texas or whatever you end up doing.
Jonathan Myers
Lol I'm not going to meet a lady. I'm incel
Cameron Parker
I would absolutely break things off inside of your ass, you have no clue. And that's why I like you. its like liking a person with downs, they just don't know what they don't know. Dunning kruger effect, namsayn?
David Howard
But suuurre
Justin Kelly
You are a twink. I'm not gay I am not attracted to guys
Jordan Ward
Oh and I'm from Ohio
Jordan Jackson
So you are saying I might not get a boner in real life
Luis Bell
You are literally retarded. Source: Army veteran.
You will likely lose your sanity before ever seeing combat which you wont cuz you won't actually be fighting syrians cuz America fights all its wars proxy style and the most action you'll ever get is either sitting in a bunker (with mortar fire coming at you every now and again) or being on a convoy between several bunkers which you'll fucking hate your life doing cuz it is hot af and you have full battle rattle on.
You'll endure hours upon hours of standing in one place in the scorching heat with your stomach bloated off MRE food and moldy water from your camelback.
Also you'll have to hear about sexual harassment every week literally, liberal values, and basically get treated like an actual retard because you will be surrounded by retards, which you are one of.
You will be making shit money compared to a real job, and your NCO's are complete cunts and hypocrites. And if you're even slightly intelligent you'll see that even if you do fight and die, it will be for nothing.
Don't join the Army. Even though I got an honorable discharge I recommend heavily against it. I am glad I faked personality disorder to get out and become ineligible for draft, the army is literally the worst of the branches.
If you're gonna go anywhere go Chair Force.
Asher Rivera
Comedy gold OP. Thanks! OP is not a fag
William Baker
yep and you seem to be afflicted with it. I admit it. you are the toughest guy ever, you and only you ever served and you and only you were the toughest baddest man ever to get deployed and saw some real shit. Step aside for ranger danger man, he has some things he wants to do to your ass, things he wants to not remember correctly and jokes he wants to not be able to figure out. everybody clap and congratulate ranger danger man he attacks people and then talks about superiorty complexes. lolololol ranger danger man
Luke Perry
I am in Quebec and 48 so I am far from the twink age bracket you are under 18 that makes you a twink I would drive all night from south Quebec for a run at your tight little ass . Ohio is a day trip I promise you will not regret it son .
where in Ohio north or south trying to imagine if you have a slight southren accent or not I hope you do .
I'm going to work minimum wage if I don't get in so mI litany is the best option
Elijah Turner
I'm not a twink you are. I'm not giving anymore details since i don't want to be raped
Daniel Williams
Join the Air Force and be treated like a human. Good food, good places to sleep more women. Save your money, go to the gym, take advantage of the free gibs like school.
Xavier Foster
I would never rape you user everything would be up to you . I love having a good time first I could take you out for ice cream and see where the night takes us .
ill ask again what city are you in Ohio .
btw you fucked up giving me your state I have been running a track on your ip for the last 30 min .
>women I'm out. Nope. I'm incel so I've been blackpilled on women
>free gibs for school My parents have a lot of money so that's not really an issue that I would go in for.
Nolan Johnson
That's fucked. I'm not gay and I don't want any gay relations with anyonr on Jow Forums
Henry Reed
Don't want women around have money.. If you just want to fight in Syria, fly to fucking Turkey and cross the border into a Kurd area and go fight with the other expats with the Kurds. there won't be any women around and no one will be watching you wash your boner there unless you want them to be faggy with you.
Eli Mitchell
I was going to say if you score fine on ASVAB, you can get something not shitty, but I think only literal retards are in this thread.
