Has anyone here ever been to prison? I am going to be sent there soon and I have no idea what to expect

has anyone here ever been to prison? I am going to be sent there soon and I have no idea what to expect

I need stories and advice. I am scared shitless

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Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=57cxNR4WFEU
theync.com/venezuelan-jails-prisoner-burned-with-boiling-plastic-and-forced-to-eat-the-flesh-of-a-dead-body.htm
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

No. What did you do? Give the people here a part of your story first as they will be more likely to reveal theirs.

attempted murder but it was a misunderstanding

Put your shoes where all the other shoes are.
Learn people's behaviors and practices, and imitate them.

You don't need to justify yourself here; you are anonymous. Instead of posting a 7 word reply, give us the full story.

How long they give you?

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Get a swastika tattoo on your chest and take off your shirt in the yard to get into the aryan brotherhood group

It's only gay on the streets.

Is this the story where your drunk buddy attempted to run over a college professor?

>this copypasta is still going around

My friend just got out. He didn't enjoy it and didn't have any trouble either.

I live next door to a family that includes a 20 year old son and last month his parents left the country for a cruise and left him in charge. one night he decided to throw a huge party and it got extremely loud and annoying, so I called the house and he answered and basically told me to fuck off. I wasn't taking that kind of shit from a kid, so I got my gun and went over to his house. I found him in the kitchen, quietly pulled out my gun and told him to take me to his bedroom. once there I told him that he needs to show respect and not be a piece of shit to his neighbors but he still told me to fuck off, so I got mad and decided to fire a warning shot at him but I accidentally hit him in the leg. I panicked, ran back to my house and the police arrested me an hour later. I didn't mean to hurt him but he kind of threatened me and his party was way out of control

>I told him that he needs to show respect and not be a piece of shit to his neighbors
Should've just unzipped your pants and fucked him in his boipussy like the little bitchboy he is desu

No
But check out the nigger big herc on youtube

sounds real. attempted murder sentence is justified. no misunderstanding. you do in fact deserve jail. sorry.

not attempted murder, he did threaten me by saying he was going to beat me and then rape my wife. you can't just say stuff like that and expect to get away with it

My father just recently went to prison. He was convicted of an offence against a minor, so unless you're in the same boat disregard this post.

Be a man and own your crime, they're gonna find out what you did whether you like it or not. Don't expect anyone to stand up for you, inmates and prison officials alike. You'll get fucked up no matter which way you go about it, and the guards will let it happen. He was hospitalized two times within the first month and had all his teeth smashed out. If he hadn't tried to cover what he did they may very well have stopped after he hit the floor. Maybe not though, there is serious animosity towards child predators.

Contacting family is difficult, particularly if nobody loads your phone account with money. You'll have to find a group within the system to have any semblance of social contact.

Stay away from gambling or sharing any of your things, no matter how chummy your "friends" attempt to be. An inmate managed to get the phone number of my moms place as my dad dialed it on the phone. He now calls every night harassing her for money to be put on his books. These people are scum and generally have nothing to lose, give them an inch and they'll take it all.

Watch what you say and who you say it around. If you decide to talk shit you're gonna get hit. These human piles of garbage are itching to fuel drama, keep your nose clean.

Good luck user. You're going to need it.

watch this guys videos, gives you an insight into what you are facing. All I'll say is you'd better not be a sex offender OP

youtube.com/watch?v=57cxNR4WFEU

Define "child predator." Are we talking a 17 year old "child" or an 8 year old here?

On a scale of 1-10, how much melanin is in your skin?

So have you been sentenced, If so for how long?

I'd kill yourself if I was you. No shit.

You're lucky he didn't shoot your stupid ass for breaking into his house with a gun... Enjoy being butt fucked, you deserve it

>Leaf mentions boipussy

Typical

You brandished a firearm in his residence. He could have killed you and gotten off clean.

Fuck off, autistic criminal scum.

What country are you in?

Although I've never been I've watched countless documentaries (hundreds of hours easily). I've assembled a pretty good outside perspective of US prisons and how to survive.

>not attempted murder

Yeah right, you're a good boy and you dindu nuffin.

>he did threaten me by saying he was going to beat me and then rape my wife. you can't just say stuff like that and expect to get away with it

You're going to grow up in prison.

Sorry my dude, you should've just called the cops to deal with the disturbance.

I'd recommend joining the Brotherhood for him.

You deserve it for being so fucking stupid, but I'll give you some advice once you go inside

Find the biggest dude you can on day 1 and start a fight with him. Fight as if your life depends on it, because it does. Other inmates will see this and understand you're not someone to be fucked with.

The alternative is you get ass raped every day by Tyrone & co.

expect boredom

i'm white

i've not even been to trial yet. i'm just afraid I won't be given fair treatment

he can't disrupt the neighborhood like that and get away with it. he's done shit like this before. he needs to learn

united states. alaska

This story was posted some months ago. Quit the copypast shit.

Doesn't matter. No distinction. If you fuck a 17 year old may as well fuck a 5 year old

>I wasn't taking that kind of shit from a kid, so I got my gun and went over to his house.

I'll bet your defense attorney loved this little bit.

Depending on where you’re at and what you look like, you’re going to be fucked at first either way. Ask a Corrections Officer anything.

you're an idiot. you couldve just called in a noise complaint to the cops

>Go take on a whole gang by yourself user, what could go wrong

Please fuck off leaf.

>so I got my gun and went over to his house. I found him in the kitchen, quietly pulled out my gun and told him to take me to his bedroom.

if you dont understand why this is wrong and a bad idea you deserve to be in jail for life

>boohoo music was loud so instead of calling the cops i unlawfully entered someones house ordered them to the bedroom (surprised you werent charged with attempted rape or burglary) and shot them in the foot because i missed my warning shot (why fire a warning shot in someones bedroom/house at all?)

enjoy the anal rape and aids from the niggers you stupid piece of trash.

Idk if I buy this. If you just shot him once in the leg then left, you would've gotten off with assault with a deadly weapon.

So why aren't you in jail already? I doubt you got bail for attempted murder.

Who do you think you're fooling, memeflag?

weak pasta, bro

I did a few years. First off, the rape jokes are not jokes. There is TONS of buttfucking. Secondly, you will probably need to fight to keep your food. Guys always pick on people to steal extra food off their plate.

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>Alaska
One of the most useless and rural parts of America, can’t you flee to Canada or something?

my best guess is 1-2 years. although i doubt you'll be able to find a job after you're done with your sentence

Don't listen to the leaf.

>Alaska

How the fuck do you have a neighbor so close in that huge state? And the deranged mental illness up there is no joke apparently

if you want to survive prison, you need to rape a dude as soon as you can

i've called them before and they basically ignored me. I had to take matters into my own hands

i'm fairly wealthy. was able to post bail

Yeah, you deserve the pin. Not a smart move, bro. The gun ain't a fun little tool to intimidate others.

This is a good preview.
theync.com/venezuelan-jails-prisoner-burned-with-boiling-plastic-and-forced-to-eat-the-flesh-of-a-dead-body.htm

I assume you mean there’s no distinction in the eyes of the law, right? Surely you’re not such a moralistic idiot as to think it’s ethically equivalent?

So you shot your neighbor for being loud? What kind of nigger are you, again?

>he can't disrupt the neighborhood like that and get away with it. he's done shit like this before. he needs to learn

Holy fuck you are a troll or retarded.

You went into someones house and shot them. Think about that for a second you faggot. You don't deserve to own a gun and legit I hope you are raped in prison.

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Get in the white nationalist clique. Even though half of them are Hispanics who the fuck cares, good luck

Is prison the same in Alaska as the rest of the US?

I was arrested at 18 with 3 of my girlfriends for pot. I was terrified, it's the only time I've ever been arrested. My car was towed, we got frisked, cuffed, and put into a van. We got to the station they took our mugshots, prints, medical info, and lead us to a room that was like a mix of an office & gym. A policewoman in her late 20's early 30's came in, put 4 boxes in front of us and with a smile, said "Strip, bra & panties too!" The looker room at our old school had private stalls, my doctor was the only person who'd ever seen me naked and I thought that was humiliating. We got undressed as slowly as possible, my hands trembled as I took my bra off. We stood there nude, trying to cover up to preserve what little dignity we still had. "Hands behind your head!" smiling as she said it, I don't know if it was sexual or a power thing but she loved her job. "Wow, you'er going to be popular girls in here tonight. Now stand on the red line, facing the chair." She put on gloves making sure to loudly snap them, then ripped off a piece of that paper they use on doctor's tables and put it on the chair. If you want a visual of what what happened, look up "ACLU prison strip search is abusive" they show a training video, censoring the girl's face and nothing else. She told us 1 by 1 to do that, plus said to do jumping jacks and "Lift your tits by the nipple." even my friend with A cups had to do it. She'd make rude comments about our bodies and look at our faces. If she saw we looked away she'd yell "Eyes forward!" she made sure we saw every inch of each other's skin. "I still think you girls are hiding something." and 1 by 1 we had to do it again. We showered next, she'd say things like "Scrub those pussies, girls like fish to be fresh." We got on uniforms and she walked us to our cell, during the walk said we'd have 3 lesbian cellmates. I was trying not to cry, she put us all in a 4 person cell, laughed "told ya!"

You got attempted murder for that? Did your lawyer get his degree printed on toilet paper or something?

Oh shit I remember that kek

Lol u stupid fucker

>Femanon

tldr
Tits or GTFO

I can't believe you were even offered bail for attempted fucking murder.

Assuming this isn't a LARP: keep to yourself, be brief when talking to people, don't ever let your guard down. Don't get mixed up in gangs, and don't let anyone punk you. If you have to fight then do it, and if you end up with a gang on you you gotta get the fuck out or go to the hole.

Always assume the reason anyone is talking to you is to manipulate you. Don't jokingly insult anyone ever, if there's banter going on don't take part.

Is this some pasta I haven’t seen before?

If you're of above average intelligence, subtly let someone of importance know. They'll need your help and in return will protect you. But if you let the whole block know, they'll all be hounding you for legal advice because most are illiterate niggers.

This is one of the oldest trolls in human history, that big guy is going to ass fuck you the entire sentence, and every con in there will treat you like you are a stupid fuck....

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Yes, what country? State or Fed? If state, brownclothes or greenclothes? I assume greenclothes? If fed, camp/low? Sounds like you're in for a self-surrender?

>He can't disrupt the neighborhood like that

So call the fucking police. That's what they're for. Do you live in a fucking trailer park?

You're going to go to jail. Hopefully by the time you get out you've read your first few books and aren't as much of an idiot.

Start stretching that ass.

You sure showed him

I hope this is real because im not trying to waste my breath on some made up bullshit but, my best advice:
>Keep your fucking mouth shut, the less you talk the better.
Whatever you do don't go gossiping, talking behind a dudes back etc. Just say very little the whole time your there
>Be cautious about who approaches you
Dude might come up, introduce himself, act friendly. Beware of this bullshit, he wants something.
>Do not do drugs, gamble, borrow anything ever.
This is how you get screwed. Share a joint with someone and now your in debt to whoever gave it to him.
>If someone is starting some shit with you, nip it in the bud really quick
Tell him "we need to settle this now man to man". Don't let beefs go on more than a day. Yes that means fighting.
>Don't say/do/think any gay shit. ever

Don't cry the first night. Make friends quickly easier if you join a gang. But they have an initiation process which may require you killing a rival gang member. While you're out of prison build up some strength and stamina. Rape is frequent and constant in prisons. You'll have to look strong and fend for yourself. If you're going to a prison which offers details for prisoners do them the time flies by quicker. Not only that but when on these details you'll be in constant view of the guards you'll be the safest there. Also black men love to rape fresh white men just saying. One more thing don't be afraid to talk to the guards one of their obligations is to protect you from other inmates. Just don't constantly badger them that'll make you look like a mole to the other inmates. They'll kill you just for that.
Source: My father who's been in and out of prisons since he was 16 (died last year), Yes he was white.

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Just run away. Might as well live on your own terms. Work on farms as a migrant worker.

You're a fucking liar who posts this retarded fucking thread all the god damn time. You aren't going to prison. You're a retarded faggot.

this, I would consider skipping bail

age of consent is 16 in my state

Why does this read like some smut novel?

I feel like this is not the first time i have seen this copypasta

OP is this you?

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You’ll get 5-10 years. It’s not bad. Blacks are crazy. Playing cards are fun. You’ll be very very hungry.

Something people don’t understand about prison, is that everyone is just really fucking hungry and bored.

suburban anchorage

This I saw it a while ago as well

lol your fucked cant help you. I have private land thats above all but federal law do to me being adopted by a now dead native couple. Im white tho just adopted by snow niggers.
State cops cant cross the line, and my land is so trapped it would bleed them. My militia lives with me and I would take you in but I just hoped you where within distance of our private charter plane.

Tough luck buddy. Might have made an ok recruit.

This is terrible advice.
Been in the joint 2 times. Did 6 months for dealing meth and did 3 years for armed robbery. Was only sentenced to one. You want every one to leave you alone for your full time? Bite out the throat of the first person that steps to you (which will inevitably happen) I fought when I did my ice bit, but you'll have to keep fighting. It sucks. Fighting isn't like the movies it fucking sucks. When I went back I said I wasn't going to do it again. Third day this Mexican moustache dude comes up at lunch and tells me to give him my bread. Quickly shoved the entire little slice into my mouth and chewed and swallowed it. Fucker immediately decks me in the jaw. Flashback of all the fights nope not doing this anymore. Grab his greasy hair and whip his neck back as hard as I can and sink my teeth into what I hoped was his jugular. Never found out what I technically got but I ripped a good sized chunk out. Blood was everywhere. I acted like I chewed on the bit of flesh but really let it fall to the ground. I started rubbing blood all over my face and licking it off the floor going MMMMM AHHHHMMMMM MMM OOOHHHHH. Guards swooped in pretty quick and did their thing. Had to do 2 extra years and a few months in solitary (which is a whole other nightmare) but when I got out not a single person attempted to even talk to me. I admit I got cocky towards the end of my bit and started saying "it's my turn to use that" rather than ask out in the yard to some of the dude's who came in after me.

Tldr nobody fucks with cannibals so make a fake rep as one. Or a real one if you're really crazy. Sadly I never got a nickname.

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>Heroin filled Anchorage
I’m so glad I left that shithole.

I dreamed I was going to be sent to prison a few nights ago .. I think it was becasue of reading these stupid fake threads that are always showing up and are obviosu slide ,b8 sageworthy shit.

but the funny thing was the only thing I was worried about my my financial life was going to be ruined.. I;d be unable to pay my credit lines and I;d end up homelsss.lol weird... also sayj

>not just sitting around in your cell sleeping for weeks
Not a single bad thing happened.

what did you do

So to survive you has to get 2 extra years

>Can't even fire a gun straight
LOL