Almost midnight here I have to wake up at 4am tomorrow (muh university) but I'm so deeper that I can't sleep I'm the most solitary unhappy man on earth.
I'm alone in every single way possible
>no real friends
>no gf, virgin
>All my religious political social opinions are dissident of the mainstream
>I'm a foreigner in my own country, white among Brown people (the 95% of population)
>My close family thinks that I'm a loser and weird
>I'm poor so I can't afford a decent life, dates, whores, get out.
Once I cried thinking for how much time this will continue?
Yesterday I spend all the day thinking about how should I kill my self and reading horror tales about suicide.
I feel like I'm done and I'm just 19yo
My dream is go to Europe marry a traditional women have kids and be happy but sometimes that's seems to be far away almost like an illusion.
Until what point the life become meaningless
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>but I'm so depressed*
You are young, just keep going and working towards a goal. It does get better.
another victim of "multiculturalism"
That being said, if you can find it within yourself to work towards your goal in your current state, you will certainly make some kind of progress towards it. It may not be exactly what you wanted, but it will still be much better than your current situation.
The silence man, be alone while others laugh with friends, while others makes plans to hangout you make plans to kill yourself and stop your own misery,
You could try making friends online. That's what I did.
You gotta take a deep breath and calm down. You're only 19, nobody really has their shit together at that age. Shit gets better as you get older. Get an education, work hard, and don't be a dick to people, and everything will fall together. I was a total spaz til around 30, but then once I chilled out and focused on all the normal, boring stuff people tell you to do, my life became awesome. It's so good now, you wouldn't believe me, but it's true. Hang in there, this is normal.
>another victim of "multiculturalism"
The multiculturalism is the ultimate abolition of individual and human identity
The liberal fags in the first world countrys have wet dreams about it while in other parts of the world it's the hell on eart
I'm aware.
One step at a time. One goal at a time. Find someone to kill the time and break down your goal. You're dissatisfied with the world and seek something that is probably unattainable in an instant. Break it down otherwise it will break you with the weight and you'll accomplish nothing.
I hope so, I'm depressed since I started reasoning about my life when I was 13,
6 years since then but maybe when I work and have money the shit will change
when you get older you realize how shit people are and then you can find peace with yourself
Thanks dude that's sound true
Do you have anyone in your life that you're close to, OP? Or is it you pushing them away out of fear of how they perceive you? I highly doubt your family dislikes you, dude, they probably just don't know how to communicatw with you effectively.
You need to find one person, your mother or grandmother, any person in your life and preferably a woman. You need to open up about these feelings. That is the only way you will find any sort of release. Quit keeping it bottled up like this if you're considering suicide. Find someone in your family, tell them you need to talk to them, and let it all out. Quit fearing their reaction, your mother or grandmother has a motherly instinct that will comfort you and help you through whatever hell you're enduring.
Give me one reason why you wouldn't be able to do this, and don't exaggerate the situation because I find it hard to believe that your family dislikes you. Don't lie to yourself and give me the actual reason why you don't want to open up.
I talk with another metalheads from bands or fans on fb sometimes but is not the same than go to a bar drink and music but at least it's an easy way of human contact
The only reason you are miserable is because you are poor. Seriously. Money fixes almost everything in life. Just letting you know. Hope you do well young lad.
Get into science. Join a lab
My family is really degenerated and dysfunctional
My father is a beta babybommer commie beta, my mother do the 'man role literally' and she is lesbian... and my sister thinks that I'm racist and weird
I know that, those green papers can buy love and happiness, sadly
I'm study mechanical engineering just because is the most well paid career here
>no real friends
You are in college, join a club or something
>no gf
Try talking to a woman
>virgin
Buy a whore
>All my religious political social opinions are dissident of the mainstream
Who cares?
>I'm a foreigner in my own country, white among Brown people (the 95% of population)
Sounds pretty cool being one of the beautiful elites in a country of mud people, like one of the first Indo-Aryans to venture into India.
>My close family thinks that I'm a loser and weird
So stop listening to them, when I realized my family was restricting me I completely left them until I got my life set up the way I wanted for the most part. Were they pissed? Sure, but I am much happier than I would have been following the path I was pushed towards.
>I'm poor so I can't afford a decent life, dates, whores, get out.
It really doesn't take much to enjoy your time, vodka is cheap in terms of alcohol per dollar and college sluts are free if you enjoy simple hedonism. I personally play board games with my friends, a board game only runs you $50-80 generally and any actual good board game has plenty of replayability.
Sexual loneliness goes in the last box
So if you sat down with your mother and talked about these things, how do you think she'd react?
>being one of the beautiful elites in a country of mud people
Literally a the majority of brown people is ugly af I have classmates that looks like the 56% meme but the are a lot 8-9/10 girls, and the college sluts well they must exist but I don't know any of them
You sound a dry dick bitch, homie
Embrace the solitude. Plumb your own depths to discover who you are. Discipline yourself to become the person that you want to be. Other people are rarely helpful in this effort and usually become an unintentional hindrance. Stop looking at this as a curse and start to look at it as a blessing.
so marital?
maybe she will cry and remember when I cuted myself or when I got so drunk that I almost died once time that I was in a bar (with my dad my cousin a French and a like) I don't remember it but they said that I cried all the night screaming that I wanted to kill myself ugh what a great history
I have that stupid cap
>and a kike*
Fuckind keyboard
>but I don't know any of them
So get to know them. Yes, yes I know this is vague and shitty advice but the fact of the matter is that men have to be the pursuers in relationships. Unless you are a literal 10/10 women aren't going to walk up to you and ask you if you want to go out, it is up to you to go up to them and after getting to know them a bit (so they at least don't think your motives are purely sexual) asking them out.
The animals isolate and stay alone when they are going to day, I feel the same way but everyone can dream in a shinny future
I do it too, but in the long days that dosent help,
You're 19? white? smart?
Go to Europe as a refugee. If you put your mind & will behind it, you'll be able to.
>My dream is go to Europe
don't
Okay, then clearly she loves you dearly. Sit down with her alone and open up about all of this. You'll be surprised at how merely talking about it with another person will answers the questions you're asking us.
The only reason you're depressed is because you have built a pattern of negative thoughts around your identity. You have to observe these thoughts and stop identifying it with something that "I, myself" am experiencing. Instead, let them envelop you as you feel them with a neutral mind. This is the true red-pill on how to beat depression: realizing that your thoughts are not who you really are, that the illusion of self and attaching certain negative thoughts to this illusory self is the root of suffering.
youtube.com
Instead of contemplating suicide or how lonely/depressed you are, try contemplating how to gtfo.
Literally put thought into it every day, write about it, plan the shit out of it, how are you gonna get out of that godforsaken place to get somewhere where you wanna be.
It sounds like you've got nothing keeping you there except university, I was in a similar position to you when I was your age, or maybe it happened to me at 20 actually, except I had real friends, but not always close by, even so:
Don't fall into the cycle of self-pity, that's gonna get you nothing but regret, as this guy said, just set a goal and work towards it, and when you succeed, or make progress towards it, you will know happiness. If you identify bad habits keeping you down, try your best to replace them with good habits.
>women
Man.
The last week a girl just came to me asked me my number but she never wrote me.
Yeap, I will start talking to woman's to have casual sex, but I feel an ambivalence about that, I hate the racemixing, but I don't want to be virgin, ugh
Yes, yes, 140 IQ.
Refugee? They will tell me to fuck off because my name its not Mohammed
Checked, sorry I had to
Thanks m8 I will check it, you seems to be a nice guy
stop beign a faggot and go back to Jesus, dumbass
It actually say GAY kek
Ah one last thing to remember, the most important thing never to forget: KNOW THYSELF.
Where you are physically is important, but it doesn't hold a candle to your state of being within. No matter where you go, there you are, if you truly are disturbed in some way within, a change of venue probably won't help, it may even make things worse.
If I were you, I'd use this time to get to know yourself better, do some introspection, if you are resolved to finish university, do everything in your power to prepare for that day you are finished, and HAVE A PLAN.
Jesus? I have read a lot of history books, I'm not going to fall in that lie I recommend you “DEMOLISH THEM..” of Vlasis Rassias.
I was in a similar place not too long ago and this is what I did, my life has been infinitely better. Talking to my mother didn't solve the problem, but it was the first step. What you need is some sort of cathartic release, you need to understand that you aren't alone and there's no better way of recognizing this than talking with another person on an emotional level, because you are "sharing each other" for that moment.
You have to do this and conquer this beast of depression before you enter a relationship, or you will be relying on a woman to give you a sense of personal security and women really don't like this, I learned it the hard way. Nothing makes women gush more than a man who doesn't need their opinion to validate himself.
Make a life plan sounds useful, I'll do one
Join the military.
If I were in your country in the 40's I would have been the first soldier in the first line without worrying about death, because I would died for a noble cause
Btw: two of my grand uncles were SA one died, and the other moved to Spain
wizardchan is that way ----->
Why aren't you reading Jordan Peterson, OP? Where's your self-authoring program?
One time I said to a 'friend' (girl) that I was depressed and she just looked me and changed the topic, and I dosent like to do so because a don't want a girl to see me like a beta cuck. That really works?
>My dream is go to Europe marry a traditional women have kids and be happy but sometimes that's seems to be far away almost like an illusion.
"Boo fucking hoo I'm so depressed about the current state of affairs so I will go to another country to become part of the problem"
Just kill yourself.
I hope you can get your life under control OP. You have the right intentions
You’re too young to be depressed. Really depressed. That’ll hit you in your mid twenties/early thirties. You’ve got plenty of time to prepare yourself before then though.
Haha faggot
This? You must be joking m8
'Wizardchan is a Japanese-inspired imageboard for male virgins to share their thoughts and discuss their interests and lifestyle as a virgin. The name of our website is inspired by the wizard meme, which refers to someone who has maintained his virginity past the age of 30. '
You might be white so think about living in a shithole among people that does not looks like you and have a shitty culture and all the another circumstances that I wrote before and then try to act like if you were superior than me
>I feel like I'm done and I'm just 19yo
>no gf, virgin
lost my virginity with 20 and I regret it. You have a lot of years to come and things will change.
Would do everything to lose my virginity with the right girl, I lost it to some abusive and manipulative whore because I was fucking stupid and young. Sex is overrated as fuck anyways
>tfw I fantasize having my first time with a girl that actually really loves me and we both have no experience so we just play around and learn more about our bodies.
I have the feeling you make it all about getting some pussy but in a few years its all about finding a great girl that will be a great mother. Just be yourself and dont try too hard desu
That's it's more like a middle-age depression because soon you wouldn't be young anymore, a good example of a pretty fucked up depression is Ynegve Per Ohlin
>Suicide at 22
>Poor af
>Virgin
>No friends and his family was in Sweden and he in Norway
I have feel related to him a lot of times, and I love his lyrics
Its not like I haven't dreamed of packing off my stuff and moving somewhere to be served everything from buffet table of state benefits. I don't want to wake up every god-damn morning to earn a living for myself I want others to earn my living for me while raising a family. I still don't do it because I was raised with the word duty stamped into me. I have to earn my place.
People like you are the problem why Europe is falling apart. Doesn't matter whether your white. You want to come here and leech off a system built by Europeans for Europeans while feeling entitled to it.
I have to work day and night to fucking fund this shit and I am sick and tired of seeing foreigners coming here to live off fruits of my hard work.
pic related.
Here is a precision painkiller for your problems.
>don't want a girl to see me like a beta cuck
And you shouldn't, that's in your nature as a man. I made the mistake in my first long term relationship of getting too comfortable with my (now ex) girlfriend. Thought we wouldn't ever break up, that I didn't have to be masculine for her to love me. I constantly tried communicating with her trying to make sure she was happy near the end, I guess a part of me knew that she was feeling unfulfilled as a result of this. I had this idea that my masculine nature was going to hurt the relationship, that I had to let my guard down and embrace my emotions more. What I failed to realize is that I was trying to cull what's in my nature, what a woman is attracted to in the first place.
What should've been an extremely depressing period was the motivation for me to take back my life. For the first week after the breakup, I was devastated. But eventually, I found within me an inner strength that I didn't know existed. That kickstarted my new mentality, my new life.
Reason I write all this out is because I know a part of you, a part of us, wants to be able to just completely surrender ourselves to the feminine energy. It's naturally comforting to us. But the cosmic joke of human existence is that this desire will repel women. You have to be a man in order to keep a woman loyal. Think of it like this: a woman is ALWAYS watching a man's expressions and demeanor because his opinion has tremendous power over her. Tremendous power, more than you even realize. Women also fantasize about taming the masculine monster within him, hence why Twilight is so popular. Or Beauty & the Beast. They fantasize about this because they know it's the only power they have over a man, to seduce him into surrendering his soul to her. The problem is that once she succeeds in this, she gets bored and wants someone else to try and tame because the whole fun of it to her was the chase. The trick is to KEEP her chasing after that which you will never give her.
Meant to reply to this. But yeah, that's the goal, to give her glimpses of your emotional side but never fully give in. This empowers you as a man, and also keeps her crazy about you. This applies to the dating scene as well, keep a balance between your dominant masculinity and your sweet side. Now don't ever feel discouraged and think that you're not manly enough because you know that's a complete lie. You know you have tremendous potential in your life, that you merely need to bring it to fruition. The defeatist part of you that wants to sulk back down in fear rather than conquering what you want is NOT THE REAL YOU. It's a parasite in a sense, a collection of thoughts you've built up over time to the point where it appears to control you autonomously. Eliminate this parasite via your masculinity, user.
Oh and lastly, don't feel discouraged for being a virgin. One of my biggest regrets was losing my virginity as fast as I could, to just get it out of the way quickly. It's really not that great, user, and you will become the master of your domain if you resist these sexual temptations.
Good luck. Save the pics I've attached and read them when you have time. This was my biggest red-pill.
Lol, this reminds me of 'my fist kiss' two months ago with a fucking attention whore that wrote me on instagram, I never talked to her again afther I was thinking that I had lost the eloquence between I say, think and do, and the ambivalence of want to fuck but disapprove the interracial relationships
Btw: It wasn't an special experience I was thinking about fuck her..
>Get an education, work hard, and don't be a dick to people, and everything will fall together.
That's a good one.
It will just fall together.
Hah.
>People like you are the problem why Europe is falling apart. Doesn't matter whether your white. You want to come here and leech off a system built by Europeans for Europeans while feeling entitled to it.
...
I don't want to leech the money (welfare) of your precious leftist system to begging with, I came from an aristocratic Spaniard family (north of Spain), I have cousins in France, Sweden and Spain obviously.
You must be Romulus or Remus himself to think so high about you
Eh, a bit of sex can make you less autistic, builds confidence, makes you see that women are nothing to be afraid of. Nothing says you have to marry some random spic you fuck.
First off, if you move you're just running away from your problems, not making them go away. You'll just make new excuses if you move to Spain.
What you should do it just put politics to the side and ignore it. Focus on reconnecting with your family and on making some friends. Start working out, make sure you get some sunlight, try to make small talk from time to time. After all, who cares about if you have the best political system figured out if your life is miserable? Don't stress about things you can't change, focus on the things you can change, which at this point is just your own life
99% chance you sre not white. Just because your skin is slightly lighter than nigger's doesn't mean you're white.
Odin said that the women have a pendulum in the heart, and the man shouldn't tell everything to them, so good advice lad
Oh, and get enough sleep. As much as you need to feel rested, even if it's more than 8 hours. I was also miserable in my university years and that was definitely a major contributor
100% chance that you are a filthy kike
I don't want to have brown children's...
I'm like Hannibal in the Roman Empire, but I don't want to destroy it just let it sink by it's own people :)
one last word, I had a 8/10 girl and I was obese at that time and she said that she didn't want "another one from her workplace". She had at this time already 2 failed relationships* with coworkers and she wanted to "find herself" and therefore didn't want a new relationship. She was crazy in a lot of ways but i got her because, in her words, I was very self confident.
*actually fucked her and after that she broke up with him and i had her. Its funny because now I'm a friend of him and I still dont talk to her and she works in my fucking department.
You dont know the feeling seeing the first girl you ever loved every fucking single day in your life.
my point is that you should have a high self-esteem. Girls like the feeling that their man can protect them and handle all troubles. Having a lot of self-confidence is more worth hat being Jow Forums. (ofc Jow Forums helps)
>t. someone who was out only with girl-groups for years.
I usually sleep less than 5-4 hours, I really looks tired af
Like I said, don't worry about that stuff for now. Focus on getting yourself together. Even if there are no whites, you can be friends with browns and hang out with them, you don't have to marry them. Try to live in the present and not in some far-off future. If you're always living in the future you'll never be happy
>intellecutual
One job...
t. Dark eyes, dark hair, short, weak.
Your family think you are weird because you think you are whiter than everyone else when in reallity native europeans would think of you as of just another refugee.
You’re lucky you’re a social outcast. You likely live among a horde of shitskinned degenerates.
After 4 years of college, I have come to realize that all the “friendships” I’ve made have been superficial and degrading. I’m just the funny weird white Boy to them.
I would trade all my jews, Mexicans, and Asians I’ve befriended in college for one redpilled white man.
Suffering is good. Stop thinking about yourself and your own happiness. Think about your duty to your people and contemplate the depravitity of the world.
Then promise me that you'll make it your #1 priority to fix that. I mean, we all have that issue with "one more post" here, but never let yourself get less than 8 hours under normal circumstances, it really makes you miserable. I've been through the exact same thing before, like I said university was horrible for me. I studied mechanical engineering too
In fact, you should probably go to bed right now if you have to wake up in 30 minutes. At least promise me that today (Friday) you'll go to bed early.
Learn to love life alone and become a god folk.
I hate a lot of other people, some people I like the company of but they're rare and I usually consider them to be friends, but I have learned to love lonely life, legitimately. I eventually relieved myself of depression and realized just how much it affects people, how many people have it, and just how much it changes people's perspective of life.
It's like standing on a high rock while everyone else flounders in the sea; incapable of comprehending land and incapable of saving by pulling them up.
I have a theory on this too, just as a lot of people do:
The brownian motion of society has been weaponized in order to create depression among all humans. To change their perspective of life so drastically they do not notice anything wrong with it.
Please legitimately try to become happy. You cannot find the truth in life as you are, it is impossible for a depressive and cynical mental state to get anywhere. You have deliberately waded into tar thinking it has made you ahead of others. You have been tricked and seduced by a level of psychological manipulation only capable by those true characters of life who go beyond the meaning of human. The kind your kind make stories of.
Lol great history user, I usually try to show more self esteem that I have, I'm work on that, thks dude
start a conversation with 3 random people every time you are walking somewhere. do it any time possible. just talk about some poster nearby, or a magazine cover in the checkout. it'll be super creepy and intimidating at first, but you need to hone your social skills.
join clubs and stuff once you've gotten good at random conversation, you can make friends there.
once you're comfortable with those people ask them if they have any social stuff going on, and ask for an invite.
I get your point, I have to live with what I have for the moment anyway maybe I should never talk about politics or social issues with them lol
>Dark eye
Ok my eyes are brown
> dark hair
I'm blonde
>short
I'm really tall dude 1.96
>weak
I work out
Go to shill somewhere else David
What I do is I make sure I'm never the one to bring up politics. Then if someone I'm talking to brings up politics I'll try to present my views in a common-ground normie-friendly kind of way (for example, I was talking to an American who was complaining to me about UGH DRUMPF and how Trudeau was better and at first I told them that every country including Canada had its problems and mentioned a few politically-neutral things that Trudeau messed up on). Then if the person really insists on being ideological about it, I'll tell them what I think in a firm but polite and non-crazy way. As far as I can tell this is the best way to do it
But really, don't focus on politics. Do things like get sleep, work out, get some sun, start some conversations (even small ones that don't mean anything)
It's sounds like something like the golden one would say lol
I think a lot of times about that we are part of something greater
It's like the swedish quote that I can't remember well about the small s potions of water making a big river
Ignore that guy, you'll keep being miserable if you follow his advice. Get yourself together first
>one post more
Kek
You study mechanical engineering too that's cool
I can't sleep now but I'm going to start today thks user
Your high IQ is focusing on the negatives. I'm like you, several years down the road.
GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE 3RD WORLD WHILE YOU CAN.
you're 19, you can do it now.
Go there as an adventure, don't hiper-focus on the negatives.
GO FOR IT
Well as a sign of solidarity I'll head to bed now, good night and hope things work out for you
Thanks m8 I appreciate the advives
>My dream is go to Europe marry a traditional women
I have bad news for you
When I complete my career, so I will be able to afford a better life stile.
I don't wanna clean toilets or work on McDonald's
Yeah, my social skills are really bad I'm going to join in a college club just to improve myself
You'll find a local girl, you'll find a nice job.
By the time you fully understand how shitty a low-avg IQ 3rdw country is, and how different a 1st world country is, your opportunity will be lost.
>I don't wanna clean toilets or work on McDonald's
Then you don't have what it takes
Hang in there Salvamate.
Remember, there's frens here for you.
We all suffer together.
I have worked 16 hours a day for $30 us dollars for a week man I know what hard works is
It’s never as bad as it seems man, we all go through rough tim-
>flag
You should probably off yourself. There’s no hope of it getting better. Take some others with you so that their families may understand your pain.
Europe is Blood and Soil my mate, a nigger with a swedish proxy doesn't become white
At least we can share the suffer in a image board, it's almost funny