Diversity hammer

you know what's great children? Fascism and the Inquisition!

>yo what's the least suitable franchise to make children's books for?
>i got you, breh

Is the nigger supposed to be a psyker?

What the literal fuck?
>tfw reading 40k in high school directly influenced my vision of the ideal future (pre-Heresy)
>The races of man are separated (mostly)
>The the old cultures of Earth are preserved and spread into the universe
>Mankind uses the absolute peak of technological advancement, societal discipline and military power to win its dominance
>Heroes are nearly exclusively white men
Warhammer is explicitly designed to be overly brutal-beyond-belief, obviously out of the realm of children to begin with. Jews and women truly ruin everything they touch.

one should shit up little 7ear old sonnyboy's social media with actual w40k imagery, have him get nightmares and then having the parents complain and sue game workshop. hypothethically

The nigger on the right looks like a rogue trader. On the left it's fantasy,so a mage.

Lel as an aside has anyone ever seen a teenage girl swing a sledge hammer? I have.

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How did Gamesworkshop even agree to this? I figured they would at least be one of the last bastions of "nerd culture" that hasn't been corrupted but I guess they eventually caved in giving how popular board games are getting lately.

I thought 40k and Games Workshop in-general was doing excellently these past couple years though. It's strange to see them branch out like this, especially with content that isn't even compatible with the fundamental aspects of the core series.

>literally 50% white, 50% nigger
>no other "representation"

Lel as an aside has anyone ever seen a teenage girl swing a sledge hammer?

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no one is safe from the jew outreach.

dis gonna be fun

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THIS THIS THIS LETS DO IT ACT NOW
already making fake account and preparing to bombard. Lets get to work.

They held out for a while, but only because there's ruthless patriarchy deeply rooted in the lore itself that stems from decades ago. It's modern corporate leadership has been getting infiltrated by SJWs for a while now.

>Lel as an aside has anyone ever seen a teenage girl swing a sledge hammer?
Don't you mean TRY?

Just imagine how much has to be rewritten. Considering that during the election people slapped trumps face on the god emperor and how much shrinking from leftist websites that caused about warhammer fans being fascists.
I can see it now
>the fact every faction is brutal and the sentient ones are highly hypocritical will be lost
>the empire are remade as the default baddies no ifs ands or buts
>the blue space faggots some how make peace with every other faction and band against the mean old empire
>the empire now consists of nothing but white guys because the other humans rebelled and every guards men is retarded pure evil and a member of the death morphs of kreig because muh nazis

Can’t wait for Basketball American VC ....

>>the blue space faggots some how make peace with every other faction and band against the mean old empire
That's why they're called smurfs.

>Space nazies VS green niggers
So PC!

Wtf i love this new 40k now

I think the tabletop side of 40k is doing alright but its vidya branch has experienced a significant downswing (see webm related) in recent years due to shoddy license management on GW's part

on the other hand interest in WH fantasy's tabletop has slowly died out because of GW's decision to make literary diarrhea like End Times and Age of Sigmar canon while its vidya branch is in its golden age

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Perhaps the most irritating part of our nigger worship death cult is how much interesting nuance and hidden meaning in media is jettisoned entirely in favor of uninspired one note BLACKS GOOD WOMEN GOOD FAGS GOOD WHITES BAD MEN BAD STRAIGHTS BAD zealot chants

>Space fascist DnD ripoff is getting culturally enriched.
I'm glad I don't have to hear these faggots using their heresy meme anymore

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If you want more people to play TRY MAKING THE MINIS CHEAPER YOU HEBREW SHITS.

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>retaded space nazis who don’t really understand technology and didn’t listen to thier emperor’s wish to abandon religion by making him a god
Vs
>retaded green space niggers who have not culture aside from brutality
Vs
>hypocritical space communists
Vs
>space bombers who think they are so great but fucked everything up for everyone else
Vs
>space robots that hate everything
Vs
>space monsters that eat everything
Vs
>space demons that either infect,rape,and/or murder everything
Truly the progressive universe the need

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Utter fucking heresy, in great need of fire.. lots of fire and few virus bombs. Time of crusade is now...

age of sigmar would be good for kids but 40k no its gonna be shit if any lore thing happens

The Righteous will defeat the slaneshi cultists.

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If we can change minorities into board game nerds instead of thugs, for fuck's sake lets do it.

Why don't SJW understands this?!

So it's tongue-in-cheek satire, right?
Comedy from a kid's author take on an ultra-violent universe hellbent on your soul-devouring destruction after school and before your bedtime at 9.

right?

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The more hopeful people belive it will be it’s own separate universe that won’t effect the main lore. But the problem is suddenly GW totes warhammer adventures as a child friendly politically correct so libtard parents will force it on thier kids. When those kids grow up with diversity hammer or the parents look into the wider lore either the next generation or the parents will demand the lore be changed to reflect warhammer adventures effectively neutering the whole franchises and turning warhammer into more modern day inoffensive trash.

this niggers skulls will be for the skull throne

DoW III was so bad I really don't think they will ever try W40k vidya ever again.

You forgot what they did to Thundercats, did you?
Masculinity is toxic, user.

i stop playing 40k for less than half a year and this happens

kill me

>hates weapons, child of Xenotech researcher (not an explorator?) That also hates weapons
>a deserter
>Child techpriest directly from Mars, still has skin and no mechadendrites
How these kids are alive in the first place is beyond me, especially the first one.

youtube.com/watch?v=ybq-eP0Uq8M

40k is a gateway drug into imperialist facism. Maybe it'll be babby's first redpill for some. Doubt it though - purge it with fire.

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desu warhammer is boring as shit. how its narrative is structured makes it all setting and no story. really cool ideas but the themes antithetical to a character based narrative, that why 40k works as a board game, and strategy games, and doesn't work as character based games and movies.

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Jow Forums I just had an idea.

What if we make a bashing campaign and make some fake stories about them having...
>Planned to have a racist Tau chinese kid.
>Planned to have a jewish Skaven.

Yes? Yes?
Someone say yes. That might get this taken down.

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You literally just have to search up a army units name/faction to find the good shit.

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Pandering did so well for marvel that others are tying it out.

Just when I started to get into something (((they))) have to ruin it

Jesus Christ as if I ever needed a smoking gun to hate this tumblr style.

Warhammer still a fucking odd proposal, even if it came some diversity hires secondary girlfriend.

I could see a Goosebumps-flavored one-off if they played off all the horrific things that could happen to you there like it was written by R.L. Stein. But it's kinda hard to see a message for progressivism in a universe where the path to literal salvation is denying all degeneracy for a soul crushing existence rooted in devotion to humanity's patriarch.

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Also most of the characters are also pacifists who 'hate all weapons' or some progressive trash. Please feed them to a gaunt swarm so they can try to hug their way out of it.

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A more believable scheme would be to spread the rumor that GW is simply trying to indoctrinate kids to be “alt right”. Spread rommors about GW trying to lure kids and uniformed parents in with warhammer adventures that acts as a gate way into a game that from a normies perspective is about space fascist trying to cleanse the universe of the unclean.
given the number of times people have thought the empire is the good guys or that the game even has any if they don’t know anything about it’s not a hard stretch.
Or alternatively we could just do what suggestsed but also post out of context and hell in context bits from the lore

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>galactic explorer
Literally no such thing. Rogue Traders are the closest thing in existence and they traffic in weapons ALL THE TIME. Xenoweapons.

>pacifist
>hates weapons
>best way to overcome fear is to learn about the universe

This Character makes no sense in the setting of 40k

>terrified of spiders
Good fucking luck kid if that’s your limit in 40k

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this is retarded

warhammer has never been a kids franhise, it was and always will be relegated to young adult/teen/manchild tier.

not because of its content, but because of its monetary and time cost. warhammer is expensive as fuck and requires a great deal of dedication just to break into, you have to learn a complex system of rules, background stories, and even how to fucking paint oddly shaped physical items.

i was a mega nerd with semi-rich parents who let me get into any hobby I wanted if it promoted reading, learning rules/strategy, etc but when a Games Workshop store opened in the local mall and my dad took me inside and saw the prices we NOPED the fuck out of there and he took me to toys r us and bought me a SNES that very day.

games workshop marketers are fucking retarded if they think poor brown kids and little girls will ever seriously invest in this shit.

all this will do is draw attention to this fact, of the 'rich white boy privilege' barrier that locks poor PoC and womyn out of warhammer.

SJW will demand cheaper figures and 'less complicated' (dumbed down) rule sets and SJW who will never ever buy ANY warhammer merchandise will complain and shitpost on social media endlessly till they give in, destroying the IP.

dont blame the sjw for doing what they do, blame the corporations retarded marketers for falling for the bait.

>pic related was star wars before its fall

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>best way to overcome fear is to learn about the universe

Chaos sorcerer material right there. Cripe.

She could make sense if her planet was completely isolated from the imperium for so long the population has actually forgotten what the imperium is like. Or her family are defectors to the tau but even then the tau don’t have a problem with shootieshots

That surely cannot be real. I refuse to believe it.

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Even if you are a hardcore SJW none of this makes sense. Nothing in the 40k universe lends itself to childrens media.

This is probably GW trying to get kids hooked on the franchise young (and being all PC while they're at it) but its gonna fail miserably.

How do you even rewrite something like the warp to make it child friendly?

What do you think. Kikes with money and no talent. Warhammer esp 40k is for angsty male teens and 40+ ultra nerds.

MAIM
KILL
BURN

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>Chaos sorcerer material right there. Cripe.
"Papa Magnus, tell me a story!"

>How do you even rewrite something like the warp to make it child friendly?
Ignore it completely. In 40k knowledge of the Warp and Daemons is heavily guarded and Inquisitors have exterminated entire populations to keep it a secret before.

For kids!

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>a follower of the peaceful religion of khorne reciting his prayer for peace and understanding while politely requesting to be allowed to come to terra as a refugee.

It was born in the 80's giving it a pozz resitance buff and its lore is just pozz resistant all around.
Pozzing 40k isent going to be easy.

I retract my opinions - see pic related; we've already had a successful 40k/ children's series crossover!

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They just licence to anyone now in hope of a decent game. It's a good strategy.

>in the imperium
>hates weapons
*inhales* BOI

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Apparently Arch Warhammer has covered this already:

youtube.com/watch?v=zcmbnkKjDbM

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So you just ignore the parts of the universe which distinguish it from other franchises. Great plan.

I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH.

You know what I don't want to live in a world with a pozzed 40k. It's just too 'unnatural'.

Grim-dark everything possible turned up to 11/10 is the way 40k is supposed to be. not this safe for kids and feelings garbage.

that strategy is exactly why the vidya branch of 40k is suffering now
you can attribute DoW III's monumental failure to developer incompetence but the rest are simply because GW auctioned out their license to literally anyone without doing so much as a basic background check

SJWs want Warhammer because guys who like Warhammer are thoroughly anti-SJW. They'll never play it themselves - but people who enjoy it aren't allowed it. It's that simple.

My sides hurt.

>warhammeradventures.com
This is extremely depressing.
There's nothing left, is there?

They might have a chance with fantasy (not calling it age of Sigmar for some reason) but only if they completely ignore ogres,skaven, chaos, dark elves, bretonnia,beastmen, and the norsca. All while not going bellow surface level on the empire, orks, high elfs, lizradmen, and dwarfs because they get up to some fucked shit to although not at the surface level (for the most part)

This. I hope he enjoys life on a daemon world made of spiders where he is the only resident and cannot die and lives there fall all eternity.

>thatguythatplaysj-jonahjamesonlaughing.gif
This is a new level of heresy

Board rooms don't make good authors.

Well, as they say in the Schola Progenium, you gotta start 'em young.

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>Chaos means "love"

Its better than the 'old strategy' of one game every 3 years by a hand picked dev that sucked ass.

wouldn’t it be fun to grimdark the characters? the harsh realities of their universe crushing their spirits before devouring them.

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With her acceptance letter in order, Young Sienna is finally leaving home to attend Bright Order Boarding School!

Pyromancy, sleep overs, smores- everything a young girl could dream of while away from home! But there's just one small problem on campus-- and it's not the Witchfinder General!

In the bowels of the college's basement-dungeons, students whisper of a skittering in the dark, and the flash of beady eyes.

Teeming.
Hungry.
-Red-.

It's your fear playing tricks on you, say the priests. Or maybe just a few rats, as the magisters say. All keeps and cellars in the Empire have them, after all.

Sienna's summer schooling has just begun, surely a few vermin can't get in the way.

How bad can it be?

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>as they say in the Schola Progenium
In the Schola Progenium every kid's a war orphan and they learn how to use and dismantle a Lasgun before they turn 10.

It could even be good for us - nothing like 40k to teach kids why they shouldn't trust illegal aliens.

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>Original Dawn of War: explosions everywhere, minimalist interface, actually dynamic and exciting
>NuDoW: slow plodding and full of buttons, "We want the MOBA audience!"

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>Warhammer with children
>Warhammer with non-humans

This looks like it's a parody drawfags in /tg/ would come up with:
>Kid adventures in 40k
>Let's go exploring!
>We don't need weapons, learning about other cultures is how we win!
>I guess the true treasure was friendship!
Then each comic ends with the Imperium Pals getting shredded by Orks, flayed by Necrons, or devoured Tyranids

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