This is how I imagine the life in USA

It’s real. And it’s beautiful.

i forgot
-rednecks and muh guns

>boil water in the microwave and drink it hot because tap water is bad and kettles don't exist.

Fixed

>because they are not covered in cheese
thats some bullshit, they put cheese in the crusts in some places

tuck in your boot laces

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BASED
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Life in Russia

>wake up
>breathe the wrong way
>politically assassinated

there really aren't that many rednecks, southerners tend to be more cowboy like.

I would imagine Russia, but the life expectancy is so low that you're probably getting ass raped by a grizzly in some poor slum in Moscow as I'm writing this Igor.

lol good one Igor

You are a faggot.

Which is why you shouldn't come here.

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This is what life is really like:

>Wake up at 4:45 AM
>Take shower
>Brush teeth
>Make toast
>Fry Egg.
>Make toasted fried egg sandwhich with avocado on it.
>Go to work.
>Start at 6 AM.
>Phonepost on Jow Forums during breaks at work.
>Leave office at 2:30 PM
>Go straight to the Gym to work out.
>Come home at about 4:05 PM.
>Shitpost on Jow Forums until 5:30 PM.
>Make dinner usually steak, chicken, or salmon and whatever side dish I feel like.
>Play games on PC or go to the gun range to practice my shot.
>Get ready for bed at 8:45.
>Fall asleep by 9:00.

Actual life in america
>Wake up
>Walk to my bathroom that is not shared
>Turn on hot clean water
>Take a nice relaxing 20 min show because we dont have to worry about using it.
>Walk into my kitchen, turn on my coffee pot.
>Flip on the TV and watch my favorite show while i enjoy a nice hot cup of coffee
>Get in my car that does not have Adidas pin stripes on it.
>Go to gym
>Go to my 8-5 job
>Go home
>Cook a nice meal
>play vidjah games
>Go to sleep, with my gun in my drawer next to me.
>Dont need to worry about being shot because i dont live next to niggers.

That's good, but you forgot the part where we have to dodge bullets every step.

I laughed.
You forgot that we all have guns tho. First thing I do in the morning is load up my AR15 and salute a picture of Jesus flexing

>boil water and drink it hot because tap water is bad
This is inaccurate. In fact, one of the first things Americans ask about when travelling to foreign countries is if the tap water there is safe. Obviously there are anomalies like Flint Michigan. The rest of your post is accurate though. Most of my paycheck is spent on tips, but so is everyone else's so it balances out. For example, I tipped my waiter for good service last night, then he tipped me for being a polite patron.

That doesn't sound right, I'll take OP's version

- be me
- have significantly lower iq and work ethic than the average white person
- still own a house, 2 vehicles, and an acre of land

America, where giving a 4/10 effort still gives you a pretty sweet life

>avocado
go back

Correct

This.
This is why I don’t support social welfare AT ALL. Only worthless niggers can’t make it in America, it’s so fucking easy. If you didn’t get educated, never try, and are addicted to drugs/alcohol - then I don’t give a fuck about you

all shit aside, this is literally my life. only difference is I wake up at 5:05am

>wake up at 5AM
>go for a half hour jog around the neighborhood with the wife
>coffee, laugh at the news, dick around
>take a long hot shower
>get dressed in American blue jeans, American cotton t-shirt
>(9:30 AM) skip to work (1 mile); engineering firm
>wobble-board at standing desk, browse Jow Forums, do engineering stuff
>meetings
>(NOONISH) taken to lunch by sales and/or marketing, enjoy a beer with my burger (rare)
>more engineering stuff
>(4PM) leisurely walk home, arrive to dinner ready and waiting
>evening/sunset walk with the wife
>tinkering with various hobbies, enjoyments, etc.
>bang the wife
>pass out

>be Russian
>wake up and pit on puke stained Adidas track shit.
>kiss my unibrow wife goodbye as I leave to shoot up krokodil
>syringe format contain krokodil
>is actually h.i.v.
>return home to communist block apartment.
>shitpost on Jow Forums

This is how I imagine life in Russia

> wake up, 4am
> boil last night's tea for breakfast
> look out the window to make sure babushka's tent has been demolished to make way for new highway to some irrelevant Russian city
> put on singlet against the cold
> milk the pigs
> tend to mama's bruises while being careful not to wake papa
> go to school so can read (but what's the point I'll never use it)
> sun rises
> drive papa to logging mill where he works
> pick mushrooms while some dog begs me for scraps
> walk home because papa is drunk so needs the car
> listen to radio while babushka mutters and cries
> pretend to be asleep while mama relents to papas advances
> get up to boil the morning's tea again and use it to quietly disinfect mama's wounds
> remember to hang to good singlet before getting back in bed
> sleep

Kek. I tipped the gas station teller for smiling when she took my money, is this bad, do I have too much money?

>wake up
>get into shitty Volkswagen
>go grab breakfast
>remember I'm still fasting
>barely miss bus attack
>get to work
>klara is standing there looking hot
>Muhammed walks over
>slaps her on ass and tells her to get back to work
>open shitty macbook
>engineer some shit
>drive back home
>dodge another (random) bus attack
>turn on anime porn
>jerk myself to sleep
Good one Hans.

That's a good description of college life in the USA

Why didn't you cheese on the crust?

Life in WA
>Wake up
>Shower for as long as I want.
>Yeah desu I do use an electric toothbrush.
>Drive to work on 405, tip government 10 bucks to use the fast lane.
>Free coffee at work from a robot espresso machine.
>Tap water is delicious.
>Get a fresh trout for 5 bucks before leaving Bellevue.
>Get stuck in traffic in a country road because Snohomish County is fucking retarded and approves too many apartment complexes.
>Cook some cantonese steamed fish and bok choy.
>Play with my Hapa baby.
>Make love to my Chinese wife.