>masturbating to "hands free" joi
>dry humping bed with this on legs and tape on hands
>finish, rip tape off, unlock bike lock
>it's fucking stuck
>try all the spare keys, none work
>no cutting devices in room or in house at all
>can waddle at about 0.2 mph
>living in a shared house with 5 others, door locks. No trousers or boxers on.
Bros.... Is there a way to get this off without calling the fire brigade? Please
>Degenerate masturbation habits.
>Doesn't own a single tool capable of breaking or cutting a bike lock.
You deserve this hell, cuck.
Is there anythi g that can cut.it?
Probably a dremel or a reciprocating saw with a metal blade.
Maybe some bolt cutters.
I'm not a nigger though so I'm no expert on breaking bike locks.
S
start pooping now and dont stop til you lost enough weight to escape
dude try posting this on /b/ the thread will get much more attention
> "He wants us to saw our legs..."
Also sage.
Go to /b/, fag.
kill yourself retard
Thry were no help
What does this look like?
bumb for interest
Call your parents
why wont the keys work
this isn't /b/
bump
Your options right now
1. Keep working the key very slowly.
2. The tumblers might be stuck, try putting WD40 in the lock and giving it a whack.
3. If that doesn't work get a drill and drill through the keyhole itself until you break the tumblers. That will release the lock.
Ya dun goofed bud. Just call the fire department, be honest with them and enjoy the ride.
>WD40
This
put the key in and Jiggle.
Go to dresser, pull out gun. Place gun to temple. Pull trigger. This is the only way out.
why don't you just break your ankles you dumb fucking faggot
My parents are in England, mate.
>No trousers or boxers on.
Trousers!?!? They're called PANTS!
OP is a faggot. You need the key to actually lock that lock.
Ahhhh that explains it!
If you don't have any tools try using a kitchen knife as a saw it will take lots of time and effort but cut through the weakest part and you will be free
Call someone to save you because you deserve to feel the embarassment of being caught doing such stupid and degenerate shit.
I wanna play a game
>What does this look like?
It looks like you fucked up, mate. :DDD
Take pressure off the lock bar and try the key again. The kryptonite locks don't like having pressure on them when you're turning the cylinder. I fought with my lock for like an hour one time when the bike was hanging from the lock.
Lads, let's help him think of a convincing excuse. Something that won't make the fire brigade think he's a shameless degenerate.
kryptonite locks have a habit of letting you turn the key before it's fully in, making it seem stuck. Make sure the key is fully in - twist/waggle the key a little bit as you push it in.
Cut your feet off
>fagettabiudit
More like faggot binder
this is just some try hard summerfag meme baiter. There is no way your foot is stop in that, look how big it is compared to your foot.
Live or die, make your choice.
Looks like your fat ankles are putting too much pressure on the locking mechanism, preventing it from opening easily. Keep trying the key, and try not to put too much force on the lock, or the key. Don't break the key off. Use pliers on the key if your fingers are not strong enough to turn the key, but again, don't break the key off.
Bolt cutters will not work. Nothing is going to work to cut it that you have access to. Keep trying the key, and go back to /b/
might as well end your pathetic life retard
It looks like you could squeeze through, if you use oil or butter
You can use floss
Pull the lock as far up your leg as possible, proceed to put on underwear over feet and then pull the lock down slowly moving the underwear through the lock.
When it comes to opening the lock simply use the keys it came with you stupid faggot. Look up videos on the lock and use the god damn keys.
Fucking dumbass.
with a girl and she just left with the keys
hop your way over to the nearest diegrinder or nearest hardware store. dosh out some sheckles to a bro for the favor if possible
this desu
F I L E N A M E S
obviously a repost you daft fucks, don't give this loser attention
>masturbating to "hands free" joi
Shit taste and the fact that you feel the need to put a fucking bike lock around your ankles instead of a simple rope shows just how degenerate you really are.
How is he supposed to get his panties on?
There is no way and no excuse for being naked and locked at the same time
Wrong board
These locks can be picked in seconds
If you can't manage that spunk on your feet as lube and keep pulling. Then stop tugging you pecker in a bike lock you utter gimp
butter up your feet and ankles you brainlet
I'm not seeing anything...
Break your fucking bones with a blunt object until you can squeeze your feet through it.
fpbp
hahahahahahahahaha
use your semen
This.
OP ALRIGHT IF YOU REALLY WANT OUT YOU DUMB FAGGOT (I HAVE THE SAME LOCK AND HAD THE SAME PROBLEM)
YOU DIDN'T PUSH THE KEY ALL THE WAY IN RETARD
PUSH HARDER UNTIL THE KEY IS ALL THE WAY IN AND YOU'LL BE OUT
FUCKING FAGGOT NEXT TIME DON'T SHIT UP Jow Forums WITH YOUR BULLSHIT
Get some butter ya faggot
if OP is legit, he should easily be able to put some boxers or shorts on through the lock so that he at least isnt fucking naked when he gets somebody to help.
Just say you were fucking aorund with your bike lock and lost the key. Dont tell anybody you were jerking off like that unless you want to look like a gigantic faggot.
Your leg? Anything sharp should do it...
call your room mates
This.
Kys or at least fuck off to >>>b
just tell your roommates you did bondage with a midget
I am (expert on breaking locks, not a nigger) and this will require an angle grinder and a *very* steady hand.
>How is he supposed to get his panties on?
Cut them in half. Put on each leg separately, and sew them back together. Alternatively, use duct tape on the inside and hope no one notices the seam.
>stay in room for the rest of the night
>make a few moaning noises
>cover up your bottom half with a blanket
>someone will have to check on you eventually
>say you have a stomach bug
>ask them to go to the grocery store for you
>include a new bike lock on your shopping list
>use new keys to free yourself
SODA CAN.
LITERALLY GOOGLE IT
Original thread
why is Jow Forums so full of newfags and reddit
god I hope this is real
Do you have any thin shorts or trousers?
You could try to slip them on between the lock, then when you get help nobody will have to think about the weird gay ass shit you get up to.
Keys don't unlock the different locks you fucking retard
Delete this post before the rest of the world sees
you copied this from /n/
put some shorts on and waddle down to the nearest firestation, they should be able to help you out. For some added comedy, get one of your buddies to carry you like a princess
lol'd
Didn't notice the filename, disregard
Saved! fucking troll
oi M8! u got a loicense for that boike lawk??
OP is a fake. he unstuck 6 hours ago
holy shit, kys
wow so funny
A. Stop watching porn.
B. Stop being a degenerate
C. Try pointing your feet to the ground and wiggling them out one by one.
D. Go to Church; Jesus can cure deviant filth like watching porn and locking yourself.
Toasting in an epic bread; put me in the screencap.
Lube your feet up and straighten them you dumb faggot.
yeah no, they cannot be fucking picked in seconds, this is a serious duty lock.
I feel bad for your fellow Americans.
So retarded... also bait and a lie. But I'll play. Slide your underwear and pants on through the lock. Put on your shirt. Go tell them you were messing around, and now you're stuck. Have them get help.
Unless you have a porta-band, lying around, you're not getting it off yourself.
it even has the exact same posts from other people. nice.
>He
>Panties
Klaus...
It is a small core bike lock. Means it is probably recessed and spring loaded and at an awkward angle. Picking would be difficult. Better to drill the fucker.
Maybe change the file names of the images next time, OP.
Here is what you can do;
1) Grab some vaseline/lube, and rub it on your feet and ankles
2) turn the lock from the current position to 90 degrees so that your feet are front and behind one another instead of next to each other.
3) Now try to take out your front foot the same way you would take off a shoe
4) Now take the other foot out
5) Use the rest of the lube to have another wank mate ;)
>shills are running so low on content there stealing posts now
Lmfao.
Yep.
OOOi you goot a loicense foar dat rape device?
They do for some brands.
I know because the methadone clinic has a key that works on all lock boxes sold at walmart.
Bike locks probably not...
I thought I was on /b/ for a moment
Link to hands free joi please
Between 2 and 3)
2.5) Lower the foot that is "behind" into the lock so that the skinniest part of your leg is in the loop, also lube this part up
Timestamp
Nowadays its not that strange ...
