This post is a lament for my innocence, and for my life, that was once worth living

This post is a lament for my innocence, and for my life, that was once worth living

>Be me
>I was born to an ultra-ortodox jewish family in jerusalem
>Had 3 sisters and 5 brothers
>Always respected my parents, never occured to me to raise my voice on them (at least not since I was a baby)
>Was very happy as a kid, playd with my friends, read books
>Studied in a yesiva. Was meant to sit and read the Talmud all day (which is pretty fun)
>But one damned day..
>Be 16yo
I don't remember why or how, but I sneaked into a local library. A secular library
>It became my little secret. At least 3 times a week I went there and read books
>Started with stories like harry potter. Didn't understand everything, but enjoyed what I did understand very much
>Found a richad dawkins book
>"Wow, this fool really think there is no god? I will read it just to laugh at his stupity"
>Started reading. Worst mistake of my life
>Started losing my faith. Read more of him
>By age 17 my little secret became a big one. I lost my faith completely
>Couldn't tell my parents, because I didn't want to make them ashamed of me. Told no one
>19. At this age a man is considered ready for wedding
You see anons, in our culture you don't need to be a chad to get a girl. you don't need to hit on women. You meet up with a guy, he gets an idea of who you are, and then connects you to a nice young women he deems fit for you. We rarely marry out of love, but it is better this way. more stable. Anyway...
>Family put pressure on me to marry
>One girl seemed nice enough, so I agreed
>She knew almost nothing about sex when we wed, I knew from the books iv'e read
>So we were a happy little family, and we had a first child
>But then.. I told my wife I want to get a job

What you need to understand, dear anons, is that a real jew believes he was not put on this earth to work all day. He was put on this earth to study the torah.
Let the woman work, you sit and study one more page. More in comments. About to get tragic

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youtube.com/watch?v=WDEBz25lGdY
kingjamesbibleonline.org/Hebrews-Chapter-1/
youtube.com/watch?v=CEAmtWd6aD0&t=11s
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_Collins
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

>I was born to an ultra-ortodox jewish family in jerusalem
stopped reading right there fella

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keep it coming

The woman don't usually feel bad about it, they just feel like they're doing their duty. Anyways..
>I was bored with the talmud. Probably found it pointless because I didn't believe in god
>Started working. Workplace had secular people. First time in my life I've had interactions with them
>Became curious about their way of life
>They seemed.. Truly free
>Started going to tel aviv (very secular ciry) dressed up like a secular man
>Met a secular girl. Was very akward, but somehow get her to hang around with me
>Fell in love for the first time in my life. Never knew I could feel such feelings

Now it gets tragic :(

>By some damned impulse I decided to divrorce my life and start living as a secular man.
>Was sure I will be happy that way
>Fuck, i was so stupid

>Divorced my loving crying wife, without her understaning why i did that
>Abandoned my child
>I could have asked to have him half the time, but you need to understand, pol
In haredi society everyone know everything about everyone. If I started hanging around with him, soon his classmates would start mocking him for having a secular father. I didn't want to put him this place. And frankly, I didn't really love him. I just wanted to be free. He told his classmates I was dead.

>Be me, now
>Addicted to porn, depressed
>Watch TV even though I really couldn't care less about what is there
>Only have one thought in my head: I want to go back. I want to live the way I was raised to live. I hate secular society now, I hate freedom, I only want to be a sheep in the peaceful heard. But..

>My ex-wife hates me because I abandoned her
>I can't bear the thought of speaking to any family member. I am so ashamed of what I did and what I have become
>I want to kill myself, but I just can't. I don't know why, but I can't.

Help me pol

I know it's not political, sorry. Still I know a few thing about the way we get money from you, if you want

Well, maybe you should find God?
Don't look from the books this time..

Here's help: youtube.com/watch?v=WDEBz25lGdY

You know what to do OP.
Accept your Messiah.
Dawkins is a vacuous heathen who has stood on the shoulders of Darwin and proclaimed himself just as competent.

Natural selection can never account for suicide.
Suicide is an ultimate derivative of free will.
Free will is the gift of God.

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I understand what god is now. It's not some fairytail, it's just what you need to believe in so you can live a life that is worth living. I wish I could believe again, but reading all those books made my head become very logical, very unstteled. I can't believe in god, and that fact truly makes me cry

If I will ever believe in god again, it will be the jewish god. Sorry

>Jew gets jewed by other jews
Pottery

This one is specifically for you, Schlomo: kingjamesbibleonline.org/Hebrews-Chapter-1/

>Natural selection can never account for suicide.

But it can.. We were not made by NS to live the way we live now, we were not made to watch porn or go to school or work 8 hours a day
When you put an animal in a cage, where it isn't meant to be, it will be depressed. If it's smart enough it will kill itself

Renounce the evil of your false book and come to the light of Islam. Only then can you know peace. If you do not repent your evil Talmudic ways, you and your family will have to die, peace be upon Muhammad. You don’t want to go to hell do you?

Who is the other jew?

How can god help me? I've lost everything, and cannot gain it back. I don't want a new life, i want my old life, my jewish life

Your jewish life's going to lead you down into the pit.

Allah is merciful, all you have to do is submit. Acknowledge Allah as the one true god, and that Muhammad was His prophet. Renounce the evils of the Torah and the secular western degeneracy. Find peace in submission to the mercy of Allah. If you do not, you and everyone you love will die horribly, and go to hell. You don’t want to be killed for being an infidel do you? Repeat the Shahhada and submit to Allah.

No sir, you don't know what your'e talking about. A jewish life is the only life worth livinng
Having a loving family, reading ancient philosophical texts, singing shabbat song on a table filled with the food of kings...... It is perfect, and i have ruined it

Liberal jews promote degeneracy without consequences and the deliberate destruction of the nuclear family as the rule to aspire.
If you don't believe in god find an ideal to fight for by yourself. A family is a worthy ideal to fight for, for example.
Try getting back on your steps and try admitting your mistakes. You can always be a secular jew in disguise.

I don't want to be a muslim. I don't believe in your god. Your life is better then being secular, but much worse then being jew. no thank you

Maybe you need a model of God which you can logically wrap your head around, and doesn't conflice with science. Try The Holographic Universe, or The Intelligent Universe. And don't worry about where it all came from. None of it really exists- there is ONLY math... But it is sentient!

I don't think you do. I don't believe in God. Santa Claus is something to believe. God either IS or ISN'T. Belief is the exact middle ground.

All you need to do is to allow God to be with you and work with you. That's all there's to it. God wants a loicense m8.
It's not a bargain either. You don't negotiate with God. You either grant Him a full permit to do with you as He sees fit, or there's no deal and you are on your own.

Show me another animal that kills itself.
You will not find any.

Animals will scratch their claws to the bone to escape a pit, they will wear their teeth to the jaw to break free from a cave.

Humans on the other hand, will suicide for emotional reasons, what other animal will forsake it's existence for such subjective pettiness?

There are no animals like us because we were enlightened.

If you refuse Allah and the will of his prophet then you are truly an evil Jew. You and your family will be killed and raped. I am telling you to say the shahada and submit to Allah the merciful otherwise you will die as an infidel. Go to a mosque, speak to imam, and learn the light of Islam. I tell you this for your own good. You and your family will be raped and murdered if you don’t, so save them and yourself by going to mosque and announce your submission to Allah.

They don't promote it rubbing their hands scheaming, they promote it because they too believe in this destructive lie..

I can't go back to my family. I am too ashamed. Imagine being filled with mud from head to toe walking to talk to a king

The way you get money from “us”? Do tell jewbro!?

>Show me another animal that kills itself.

Well there actually is. Scorpion. When it gets cornered, it will sting it self.

Radical orthodox Christianity is the only way. Repent Pharisee

I'm sorry, this is not even close to the god i belived in. I loved him with all my heart. I always acted as if he's watching.. I asked his forgiveness on the smallest things

I can't. I just can't. Believe me i tried. I tried hard.

There is no easy solution. You traded paradise for hell and now you must live in it. I mean it's something along lines of Garden of Eden story.

On a serious note I think you should ask /adv. Good luck.

I told you, we kill ourself because we are smart enough to understand this will stop our suffering and smart enough to understand how to do it

hhahaha you dumb kike you where litteraly born a chosen one ... never had to work had a virgin of your race to marry and make lil kikes and probably loaded $$ and still somehow ended up a brainwashed porn addict like the rest of us hahaha get fucked jew boy

Islam isn't solution. As a jew it would become like going from rain to a waterfall.

I dont believe you kike

Tried to believe in the image You or someone else have created?
No wonder it's hard. Like squeezing water out of a rock.
Don't try. Give up.
Say "fine, do with me as you please", with no clever side thoughts.

You are also free to not do it. What's the bloody rush if you aren't ready? He can wait you know. Until the sun dies.

His reception is open 24/7/whole eternity.

Well, in almost every jewish family there is one or two kids that really start undestanding the systems and the holes in it. For example my brother used to go to sinay and change the money of the beduim there from shekels to egyiptan money. he got hunderends of thousands of shekels and all he had to do was to go there. It's sort of like a collective mind that finds and uses holes in the systems
But you should know that we don't do that because we love money, as i said we believe god didn't put us here to work, so we need to find easier ways to make money

So in all of life on Earth, suicide is exhibited by man and scorpions?

Firstly, for it to be considered suicide there has to be cognitive reasoning, a scorpion can't possibly be thinking having the bare minimum of functioning braincells.
It's highly evident that a scorpions "suicide" is performed due to stress induced hyper-defensiveness.

Do your familes sit togeter in shabbat and sing nigunim?

>Help me pol
Jow Forums

You prefer to be blindfolded? There's no God, nobody wanted YOU particularly and you are chosen by nothing. But be proud, Jow Forums hates you. At least it can give a meaning to your existence.

>boom box
>go to your ex wife’s house at three in the morning
>okay sad song on boombox
>make some grand gesture of love to get her back
>once you do, move your family away and never look back at the old religious life
A secular life is the best life there is, as long as you have someone to share it with

Also, guys you don't want to know about Xeno threat, that is facing us. Ignorance is truly bliss. Muslims in Europe are a threat but they will be dealt with or so I heard. Bigger worry is Xenos. DeLonge publications are only tip, if only you knew how bad it is.

I think the crisis is one of faithlessness because of a secular challenge that you failed. Your faith wasn't strong enough which I can't vouch for, I'm not a haredi Jew and I don't believe in studying ungodly books will grow one's faith (refering to the Talmud here).

If you truely want us to help you you're going to have to sit down and write down all the things Richard Dawkins made you believe so we can work together our way back to finding reason and logic away from that ungodly trashy book of secular theories.

You have leaft your child idiot. Ask your wife for a forgiveness and devout your life to her and your kid. If she will tell you to fuck off, then go away and try again later.

Maybe read the old prophecies, like Daniel and ezekiel, and see that it is coming true even though science cannot explain why. God can forgive much, even if your family will not. Let Him give you a purpose.

One day, someone that looks like me is going to kill you, and your entire fucking race!

Forgot to say she remarried 3 years ago..

Secular life is just shit. You work hard only so your kids will hate you and your wife will cheat on you. I'd rather die. Secularism is the biggest scam ever

Become a rabbi and read Kabala on your 40th birthday

This isn't the right place for you. You came to the den of the snake that deceived you - to a place where knowledge and truth are valued above all, even above God. You ate the forbidden fruit and you were kicked out of your paradise because of it. Now you can either stagnate your views and keep looking back at what you lost until your death or keep attaining more and more knowledge.

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I can't. I am too ashamed to go near her. I just hate myself more then she hates me

>I don't believe in your god
Christians, Jews and Muslims believe in the same God little kike. We all believe in the God of Abraham, it's our religions what is different

I've been through this stage many years ago.. I don't care about it anymore. I don't care about anything.

Why do you think Jow Forums hates Jews so much? I don’t hate you.

Please do it soon because I really hate my life now

By telling sad stories.

I hear murder suicide resolves that issue in the most effective manner, you could give it a shot

look at this fedora coming around thinking this one's got a good deal from reading dawkins.

You people are lowly. Dawkins is garbage.

see

Why would that be the case if natural selection was the governing factor in human evolution?

Surely Darwin's theory could not negate itself.
Why do healthy humans choose to end their own life, even though they are still capable of procreation.
Either man is the exception to natural selection, or natural selection plays no part in the existence of man.

>So in all of life on Earth, suicide is exhibited by man and scorpions?

AFAIK, yes.
Some spiders are more bizarre. Tiny male gets laid with huge female, then the female eats the male. The male, in this case, commits suicide. Also praying mantis female eats the head of the male mantis after the male has fucked her.

Nature is quite bizarre.
For the reason though. Competition keeps the evolutionary soup fresh.

Here's news flash. BOTH intelligent design AND evolution are both true at the same time.
For some reason this is impossible to comprehend, even as a hypothesis. It paints mankind quite small, doesn't it? If there is intelligence that can master fully self sustaining systems, with a lifespan in billions of years.

You are so right. I finally relaise what the genesis stroy is about.

Havn't you read my post? I don't believe in any god

You should learn to hate gentile.

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I guess it's a bit of scapegoating but also a bit of truth.

>By some damned impulse I decided to divrorce my life and start living as a secular man.
>Divorces wife to live as cuck

>Abandoned my child
>Throws away greatest gift in life

>I hate freedom, I only want to be a sheep in the peaceful heard
>Wants to be a normie

>If I will ever believe in god again, it will be the jewish god. Sorry
lol

>A jewish life is the only life worth livinng
>Refusing to work, wanting to exploit other people like a parasite.
>Thinking this is an honorable lifestyle

>They don't promote it rubbing their hands scheaming
>Bluepilled af

Why would I murderer her? I can't think of anything more horiible to do

She's a jew, it would be a public service

I told you why. We did not evolve to live the way we live now. read "the human zoo"

No we sit together on Easter and Christmas and praise our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

The best way to tell someone to kill themself

Nice try schlomo.
youtube.com/watch?v=CEAmtWd6aD0&t=11s

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I'm in a nightclub I'm dancing and reading this. I'll reply in a mo. I love Jews when they see the light. My best mate is a Jew who's just slid off with b a black girl somewhere. He knows I'm who I am. Literally HITLER. You can be saved. It only a case of doing what's right

Yup' singing good ol' nigger songs with a kike.

Please share nudes already, Jew chicks tend to be hot

tried what?

>Good jews

the narcissistic jew thinks his post belongs on Jow Forums and not r9k.

So...you're telling me that the dating culture for the jews is precisely the opposite of what they sold us.

That's like saying
>good raw sewage

?תגיד, בתור אחד שבא מהעולם החרדי, מה נראה לך הסיכוי שרוב החרדים יהפכו להיות דתיים-לאומיים או אפילו דתל"שים במהלך השנים הקרובות

>mega jews jew a jew
beautiful

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I can't read thiefrunes.

>implying
I never said anything like that you dumb leaf. I'm not thankful to Dawkins for anything, I never wanted this. I'd rather be an unaware cog in the machine but there's no going back. I despise Dawkins but he is nonnegotiably one of the first ,,forbidden fruits'' that a person comes by when looking for knowledge. He's the slippery slope of redpills.

נמוך מאוד מאוד. אלא אם כן יקום איזה מנהיג כריזמטי מאוד מקרבם

...Do you people realize....That this man literally said that work makes you free. Let that sink in pol.... But jew fag, find a field that makes you happy and go for it, got nothing to lose now do ya ?

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פאק, זה בערך הסיכוי היחיד של המדינה הזו לשרוד. הייתי בטוח שעם כניסת הטכנולוגיה לציבור החרדי, רובם יהפכו לפחות דתיים, או לכל הפחות ימירו את הדת בלאומנות/ציונות

I didn't said work made you free, i said i thought being secular makes you free. And it does. But once you are free your life becomes shit

TL:DR
What's the moral of this shit?
I have no time reading his Jewish soap opera.

I thought the phrase meant "bitter air makes you fry."

The light of the Morningstar will guide the way. You are divine, and in you is all kindness and strength. Be was you want to be.

>dancing in public while reading Jow Forums

???

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There are very well respected scientists who manage to balance a personal religious faith with the kind of logical, rational mind you're describing. So it can be done:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_Collins

That said, I personally don't know how to do it either, so I can't really offer any insight. A family member who does manage it says for him, Science & Religion address different questions. Science is about things that must be seen (proven) to be believed, while the point of Faith in Religion is that some things needs to first be believed to be understood and felt.

Shhhhhh let us have this. Sure, its shit. Soooo kill yourself? I mean all seriousness, if you are really that weak of a pathetic piece of shit that you cant handle the real world, end it, no joke. If you do have a shred of manhood and intelligence, find something else to give your life meaning.

God is real. Everyone gets their own hymn, a word or a revelation. You just have to listen. Sometimes you won't be able to interpret it on your own though and discourse is necessary. If we'd all learn to talk, we'd all come home by now.

איזו טכנולוגיה נכנסה לעולם החרדי? מי שמע בכלל על משהו שנכנס לעולם החרדי? הם לא ייתנו לשום דבר להשתנות, ובצדק. לך קצת במאה שערים תראה כמה מודעות יש שם נגד הטכנולוגיה. יחרימו מישהו רק על זה שיילך עם אייפון בגלוי

You can live under their presumption that we are equal to the the oxen or the toad, but in their story of competitive evolution, not one animal has come close to the excellence, or hideousness for that matter, of man.
We are in a league of our own.

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the moral is do not eat the fruit of knowledge.