Best offensive joke you got, Go

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen?

15 - two in the front seat, three in the back and 10 in the ashtray!

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3 Jews walked into a bar
I lied it was a gas chamber

How are a bicycle and a nigger the same?

They both only work when you have a chain on them

Joos

What do you call that skin around the vagina?

a woman

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What's a German tank in the jews district?

A ghettoblaster

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My girlfriend is terrible in bed. Absolutely terrible. She just lays there.

Screaming "noooooooo!"

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>Best offensive joke you got, Go.

What's black and orange and very pretty?

Niggers on fire.

Gallipoli.

Jesus Christ fed 2000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, but Hitler made 6 gorillian Jews toast.

So there's the son of the chief of a redskin tribe in America and he walks into his dads tent and says 'Father, how did you come up with mine and my 2 brothers names' the redskin chief says 'well my son, I name you and your brothers after the first thing I see when I leave tent. That is why your older brother is named Rising Sun' the boy asks his father 'okay then what about my younger brother 'when your bother was born I leave tent and first thing I see is flowing river, that is why I name him Running Water. Why do you ask, Two Dogs Shagging?'

/thread

Why did the pervert cross the road?

He was stuck in the chicken

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Little Miss Muffet, sat on a Tuffet
eating her curds and whey
along came a spidah, sat down besida, and said
hey, what's in the bowl, bitch
DOOOSH

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HAHAHA EPIC BRO

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Mus-

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I mean, it is funny as a joke, but based on a letter of a Sonderkommando which was buried in Auschwitz- “a human being ends up as about 640 grams of ashes.” That ashtray must be HUGE.

What are you on about? Your country is just as trash

A guy has a wife in a coma, he goes to the doctor one day and says "Doc something happened the other day, I went over to my wife and kissed her on the cheek and said 'I love you', and her body moved, she reacted.", "That's great" said the Doctor "That means she's possibly getting out of her coma!!", the guy goes "Well Doc, you know she is my wife of 15 years....", the doctor goes "Don't say another word I got you, TRY ORAL ON HER, and see how she responds." The next day the guy goes to the doctor and the doctor says "How'd it go?", the guy goes "She's dead", the Doctor goes "What?!? How!?!", the guy goes "She Choked!!!"

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

>A pizza doesn't scream when you throw it in the oven

this is epic ohmygod

What's six inches long, pink and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her? Her miscarriage

sorry but this joke is so fucking old desu

Sounds like usual Asian sex does she starts screaming when she see how tiny it is?

-lim are on a boat, a shark comes along and eats everyone but the Muslim. The shitskin says "please don't eat me, Mr Shark." The shark says "fuck off, I ate one like you the other day and my ringhole's been burning ever since"

Wrong
There is only one gender because women are objects

Hive mind confirmed

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What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobberonmyknobyabitch

How many dead prostitutes can you fit in a garage? Seven if I move my bike.

What's the difference between a pizza and a nigger?
A pizza can feed a family of four.

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whats the difference between a baby and a ham sandwich?

>i don't cum in hand sandwiches before I eat them

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*ham
FUCK

What's the difference between a microwave and a homosexual?

A microwave doesn't brown your meat.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench can support a family of five

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saved...

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what is the difference between the holocaust and onions?

onions actually make you cry

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> onions has happened
Fixed

What's pink, stiff, and drives women crazy?
Cot death.

what's the difference between a watermelon and a black baby?

You wouldn't use a pitchfork to empty a truck full of watermelons

>[someone tells a holocaust joke]
>"That's not funny, my great-grandfather died in the Holocaust"
>[omg, im so sorry, how sad]
>"Yeah, he fell from a guard tower"
>mfw

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What's pink, rusty and hasn't been used for ten years? Madeleine McCann's bike.

My wife called me a paedophile the other day :(
I said "that's a big word for an 8 year old"

Why is the Jewish greeting shalom?

Because it's the sound an oven hatch makes when you close it.

> the guards threw him off

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>right into the oven

How to you stop a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of its head.

how do you pick up a girl in auschwitz?

you ask for her number

>How to you stop a nigger from drowning?
>Who cares?*
fixed

>Five niggers walk into a bar.

"Table for three, please."

Nice. Gonna use that.

Nice one kike

Jews were not put in the cremation ovens alive, were they?

Nice, not many people get away with murder nowadays but I know a couple that McCann

You have to feel bad for Anne Frank
It's a girl's worst nightmare to have her diary published
It's a jew's worst nightmare to not make any money off it
But at least she didn't have to sit in the back of the bus.

No that's just silly, the holocaust was made up.

How do you get a nigger to stop jumping on your bed?
Put velcro on the ceiling.
How do you get him down?
Give some spic kids a stick and tell them he's a pinata

The boisterous laugh after the punch line clues them in on where I'm going with it. Very high brow stuff, but it gets the best laughs

old ones but kinda funny

why dont blacks let their kids play in the sandbox?
>they are afraid a cat will bury them

why dont blacks listen to country music?
>because everytime they hear "hoedown" they think their sister got shot

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nah actually they were first gassed and then the sonderkommando had to check if they had any gold teeth or stuff they could take before burning them

What do you call a bunch of niggers standing outside a toolshed?
Antique farm equipment

>a human being ends up as about 640 grams of ashes
not if you use the atomic ray gun of ultra-death

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What do you call a niglet jumping in a pile of leaves?
Raisin bran.

Black people are sometimes silly

Why do niggers smell?
>Because God wanted Blind People to hate them too

thanks maate! desu in my country these jokes are considered stale af but i still really enjoy them

Kek

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How do you make a little girl cry twice?
Take your dick out and wipe the blood on her teddy bear.

The King- Jimmy Carr youtu.be/TcBRePwOPPI

why the fuck does it change the words "to be honest" to "desu"? i am new here...

>“a human being ends up as about 640 grams of ashes.”
Human =/= rats

What does a nigger and a tornado have in common?
It only takes one in the neighborhood to decrease property value.

what is the difference between jews and santa?
santa enters from the chimney and gets out of the door, jews enter from the door and get out of the chimney..

Another old one:
How do you blindfold a Chinese person?
Put floss over his eyes.

Lurk moar fagget

200% smug

youtube.com/watch?v=oX1jMmfG2Xk

My sides

>What kind of fish do you call a fat woman?
"That's scientifically wrong. Sea mammals cannot be considered fish!"

that image really upsets me, please dont post that again

youtube.com/watch?v=zqIyq83eWDA

Whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead niggers?

I dont have a ferrari in my garage

only 5.999.999.999.999.999.999.999.999.999.997 to go

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>what is a mudshark