Is it really hard to escape prison and not get caught? The police always seem to find these fuckers in swamps...

>be me.
>get ass raped daily by thugs.
>get prison aids.
>loose weight.
>look like on deathbed, thin, frail looking.
>still assraped daily by thugs.
>so thin, I can slip through ceiling bars.
>so ligh weight, I can finally do a chin up.
>chin up through bars.
>walk though sewer.
>find myself in San Fransicico.
>head to California DMV.
>claim to be mexican gay with aids.
>give my name is Carlos Guzman, differnet DOB
>get newly minted non citizen ID.
>head over to GMHC center.
>Hi, I"m user, I am here undocumented and homeless with Aids.
>get setup with monthly stipend, apartment overlooking the bay.
>thin and sick but getting better thanks to free health clinic.
>one year later, get stopped by police for being in the park after dark. Give state id with fake name.
>let off with a warning.
mfw.

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Here is what to do once you escape prison (I do NOT speak from experience AT ALL)

>Get out
>Get literally as far away as possible from the actual prison
>Mask your scent with a bunch of deodorant or other really smelly shit in case they send dogs after you
>Do NOT go to relatives or friends or family: All those people are now dead to you.
>Lay extremely low for a couple of days, even if this means living in a ditch in the forest (staying near a lake is better because water)
>Try to find a bike, NOT A CAR OR A BUS and make yourself look like a hobo.
>Alternatively, you can grab onto commercial trains and ride them for many miles without every getting seen
>Sleep during the day, travel at night
>Leave the country. You will not be safe so long as you are in the country where you are wanted.
>Hop border into Mexico
>Join Drug Cartel.

Dead serious.
That's how you do it user. Any questions?

Train hoping sounds risky af.

What if you want to get overseas instead of getting ass fucked by el chapo?

This is some Shawshank redemption shit

How to avoid being caught by cops if you are wanted for some heavy shit.

>Before scaping prison stop cutting your hair and beard.
>Stop bathing.

Once you are out, cops will start looking for a clean shaved guy. So best move would be to steal clothes, ripping them, and become a hobo. Find a shopping cart and throw some stuff in there.
Spend a few month as a hobo till shit cool off.
Broke your own nose to change facial structure.
After that, you need to go south, steal a boat, navigate to south mexico, yucatan. Shave, got clean bathing suit, go as near ass possible to the shore. When you see a crauded beach, just leave the boat and swim to the shore. go thru the people and thats all.

In 2 or 3 months you should have your new life going.

It works.

Train hopping in the middle of the night is what I used to do for fun. You literally don't get caught almost ever and you can keep going for many, MANY miles. Just don't do it in populated areas. And I don't mean passenger trains I mean commercial ones.

If you want to get overseas, then Mexico is still the answer. Realistically, you could go to Russia through Canada (assuming you can take a boat by the time you get to Alaska and you don't freeze to death on the way there) but unless you're a Polar Bear or Walther White I wouldn't recommend it. That option is only if you have a bunch of money.

Now, if you wish to get overseas, you have to pick a place to go. Personally, I'd say Australia or Mongolia but it's your choice. You have to get some money when you get into Mexico, then pay a ship captain off or just stow yourself away to go somewhere.

Additionally, you will be very wanted, so a good idea might be to throw people off your trail by making a video of you taunting whoever is chasing you, putting it on a DvD, then getting a friend or something to upload the video on the DvD in another country (once they get there) so the pursuers will think you're in a different country.

Or, you could steal a plane. Which is extremely risky and I don't recommend it (I have never done this)

Didn't Harry Houdini do that during his spare time in order to help improve prison security measures?

I'll add to this by saying that you really don't need money for the bare essentials to live.. you can find food in garbage cans. Check outside a restaurant after close, go raid their dumpsters around midnight probably. They throw out heaps every night. Water is almost everywhere, you're gonna have to bathe in it and drink it. Emulating the life of a hobo is exactly what you have to do. Also, I might recommend once you're in a different town to pan handle for a couple dollars and buy a lighter and a can of any kind of food from a dollar store or gas station. Use that can and lighter to rig up a pot to boil water so you don't get sick drinking pretty much any water you find. It might be worth stealing some shit and selling it to a pawn shop for pennies on the dollar to give you a little bit of money.

It's actually some thing I would love to try.
So I guess I will have a fun game if I ever go to prison

If you use ID to get a job...busted, if you're worth the effort to look for.

The easy way is to go to their parents house, their girlfriends house, on rare occasion, their house. The vast majority of the time, they are caught so quick it won't even make the news.

Checking Facebook and phone records of those same people should do the trick if they aren't at home.

People have no ability to survive outside of a social network. You don't either. Think about it.

All these LARPers who think they'll hide from the anti Christ when the End arrives, will find this out the hard way. Very few can survive alone. If they can, they are only one accident away from their end.

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People smart enough to escape prison are smart enough to not get into prison.

A few things you got wrong: As America becomes more totalitarian, Pawn shops will ID you now. Panhandling attracts attention and requires going out in broad daylight.

Do not do these things unless you wanna go back to prison.

LOL not if you are a Black African refugee. There are no records of your existence hahahahahahaha

There are people on this board RIGHT NOW who don't have a 24 inch diameter schedule 80 pvc pipe buried in a field in the next town over full of cash, clothes, food, med supplies, weapons and ammunition, marked by a patch of unmatching grass you planted over it.

It's like you people want to get fucked by the law.

I could. I could survive on my own. I've been training, my friend. I can run for miles, I am very muscular, I can easily go a week or two without food and days without water. I know which plants are edible, I know how to make a fire with sticks, I know many different shelters including igloos, I know how to hunt and I'm a skilled bowman and also rock climber.

I can also make my body still as death for many hours on end in a stealth scenario, and I can make myself extremely sensitive to sounds in my environment.

So come at me. If you'll find me. Which you wont.

You need to avoid a life of crime. Your plan is horrible. Public places will get you caught. Doing shady shit in public equals meeting the local cops. Pawn shop...ID. BUSTED. Return to jail and try again...in a few years when they move you to medium security.

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You're too stupid to pay attention to detail. You would screw up and die or get caught. Read it again, Rambo.

>risking your entire life and future and body for what amounts to fucking $20k annual salary with no benefits

please show me your humor license

the key to survival is to avoid accidents that get you killed, my friend.

And as a very accurate rule of thumb, the less people, the less problems. All I gotta do is go somewhere where there is no one (Russia is great as far as this goes) and make my living farming/fishing.

I am not saying I won't screw up, but I am saying that I have a chance xD

>tfw this thread is comfy as fuck and makes me want to watch some good prison escape movies

any recs, Jow Forums? preferrably ones where where a good bit of it takes place when they've already escaped and trying to stay low

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The Fugitive

Getting out is one thing, trying to stay free and eat, get shelter etc gets really difficult... especially nowadays. You’d need somebody outside helping you or you might as well forget it.

The surveillance technology is so overwhelming now that its getting harder to get away with anything. Which is good in a way, but bad as well.

A Corrections Officer told me the only successful escapees are people who a.) get out of the vicinity within a few hours of leaving the prison, and b.) those who stay close to the prison for a long time, before venturing farther.

So either have help and a good plan for where you're going and how to get there, or hide out really well and hope they keep expanding their circle. Eventually, search concentration will diminish closer to the prison when they think you've gotten farther away. Then you're safer to start moving.

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I bet you smell fucking terrible. I can practically see your kekistani t-shirt through your post you fucking neck beard.

This is do-able for a while, but you’ll get sick of this after a month or two.

Being all alone in the woods for ages will make you wish you were back in prison.

this is truly it
FPBP
most people in prison have nigger-tier IQ

Naw bro but i am a man of nature. I suppose if I am in a survival scenario I would smell terrible after a few days I guess (but who wouldn't?)

Although desu you gotta watch out, cuz a bad enough smell can actually give you away in many ways.

Also, for the record, I never understood the Kekistan meme.

>go a week or two without food and days without water

Maybe if you're completely stationary and not expending any energy.

Doing anything at all without food for a few days, and you'll end up passing out and splitting your fuckin head on a rock. They'll find you 3 days later with a family of raccoons living inside your chewed-out asshole, feasting on the maggots in your caved-in skull.

Everything past the emulating hobo is silly, but hobo is spot on. Copy the homeless, people don’t want to look at you and provided you don’t give any reason to be pressured by police they’ll ignore you too. Blend in, your old life is FUBAR so best bet is getting to a commie state like Cali, posing as an illegal, and taking odd jobs until you can get some kind if of decent work. It’ll be a rough start but really once you escape you can just be smart to win.

Leave a stache with a good base of cash, get the fuck out of there and as far away as possible ASAP, then lay low with the lowlifes until it all blows over. It ain’t easy or fun, but fuck nigga u in prison. You’re usually better off just serving time unless it’s a life sentence of life killing like child rape

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This depends on the person, my child. Society has cast me out long ago. They didn't want me. Why do you think I come here?

Absolutely agreed. That's the thing: conserving energy requires stillness by the laws of physics. One good way to get energy without wasting it is fishing BTW cuz you can be absolutely still while fishing. Also trapping.

Why eat from a fucking garbage can and be a hobo in the woods wet and frozen, when you could be in a comfy prison on a cozy cott with 3 hots?

Your life will be so restrained as a fugitive you’ll almost be more ‘free’ in prison.

>most people in prison have nigger-tier IQ
Maybe because most of them are niggers

Rather cartoonish image you have conjured there

>What are they doing wrong
They got caught the first time.

some of us would rather die than live down on our knees

Don't go to commiefornia and don't stay in the USA because you will get caught, guaranteed.

If you escape prison then you have above average IQ in my opinion, however, I feel like fugitives do not plan enough ahead.

When I was in jail I contemplated breaking out, they have tall fences that are not climbable (super small chain links, can't even get your fingers in there.)

Police are always present at jails, they actually serve a dual purpose dispatch police precincts. Even if you get out, you stick out because you have no plain clothes. Guards make rounds every few hours, and if you get a slip to infirmary, you might find an opportunity then.

Upon making a rope from your sheets of sufficient length, you have to climb to a roof , maneuver around razor wire and keep your head low, then once you get past the few fences make a break for it.

Now here's the mentality, you get more time if caught, so anything is on the table. breaking into donation bins or residential homes for clothes. Bypassing the interlock on an old car model to get the starter and fuel system going.

Police dogs are hard to let off your scent. The only way to throw a dog off is to throw off the handler (recalling after an SAS video). You essentially have to take the opportunity to double back around and take difficult paths to make the handler get frustrated with the dog for being too good. If you have a helicopter looking for you, you have to obstruct it's viewing angle to you, if you lack adequate cover cool your surface body temperature by laying in a creek or bushes with a sprinkler system going.

Hard to do, but it really depends where you want to start your life anew after the fact.

I apologize I'm drunk right now. I meant to tag this guy

>>>>

Little Caesars is great for dumpster diving. They throw pizzas out, box and all. In other words...perfectly protected food!

The Great Escape.

Now I'm gonna go dig up every mismatched chunk of grass is see in the rural areas around my town.....

checked and keked

>Drunk
You wouldn't last two days.

Not really a prison escape centric movie, but law abiding citizens was one of my favorites

Just start a lawn mowing business. Shit like this gets hit all the time.

>can't climb fences
Probably gonna need improvised climbing gloves with metal claws in them, or a grappling hook (or makeshift even) or you could break the fence, or you could go under it.

>Interlock on old car
Don't steal cars. Plain and simple.

>Police dogs
Those are indeed a pain in the ass but they don't immediately mobilize them from what I know, and also you can throw them off your scent by using deodorant and shit, and also paying attention to wind patterns. Dogs can be fooled if you travel enough distance by train or water, and they can be fooled if you change your scent enough unless it's a bloodhound in which case you can only slow it down (recalling SAS survival manual)

>Helicopter
Probably means you're fucked. Cover yourself with dirt and leaves to make yourself appear cool, thereby fooling the IR camera (which sucks cock on Helis anyway.) Alternatively, find shit that's the same temperature as your body (hot sand perhaps?) or go underground.

>get caught
Not necessarily. Cameras in the US are a lot like jurassic Park; where they think they need them, they’re all over the place. But the problem comes when you realize how many huge swathes of land go dark, and with less coordination than you’d expect. Popping urban centers have eyes, but suburbs or neighborhoods without even a big intersection? You’ve got miles and miles of free roaming there. Get in, move around avoiding cameras and eating/drinking what you can, then leave a day or two later from a different point. Provided they aren’t hot on your tail before if you go into an abandoned, low traffic, or a just low income/unrenovated hood you’re golden. And don’t forget, bodies of water are great friends. It’s shocking how few businesses and buildings on a front put nothing to watch it, and it’ll lose the scent.

So get away, drop into a camera dark zone, emerge a hobo. If you speak some other language, run for there. If not, get learning or blend into the lower world

As far as survival goes, I could just stop drinking. Also I'm typing correctly so it's an indicator that I'm not really hammered yet LMAO. Not that I'd get drunk in a survival style scenario anyway: Alcohol has WAYYY better uses than to drink it if you know what you're doing.

You're right. You could survive off this stuff indefinitely provided you have a decent immune system.

>Sleep during the day, travel at night
That's already a fucking terrible idea because you want to blend into the crowd.

You don't have to blend into the crowd if there is no crowd. Less people, less problems. Keep in mind, you're travelling.

Once you arrive at the location far enough away from the prison (and assuming they didn't track you) then yes, start blending in.

It's better not to be seen at all than to hide in plain sight, trust me.

Hi Eric

>I'd like to think I could do it, but what are they doing wrong to get caught?

You ever been to prison before? If you're curious about escaping from someplace, try having yourself committed to a mental hospital for a 72 hour hold and try busting out of there.

I ditched FB ages ago when it stopped being about social networking and started being about social media. Never had a Twitter. Only way to get ahold of me is to call or text my cellphone. Making new acquaintances in a completely different place isn't all that hard. After you've escape, things have cooled off, and you've found regular employment somehow, either go off with work colleagues or become a regular at the bar.

>location far enough away from the prison (and assuming they didn't track you)
time for the stealth nano rfid implant that triggers around every credit card machine in the USA

It's Wednesday night.
Why are you drinking?
Drinking on a Wednesday night really dosen't imply that you could just walk away from it.

3 letters: MRI. Those will break the chips.
Also, powerful electrical shock. No, it won't kill you (usually.) Powerful magnets. All sorts of shit will fuck those things up.

They don't have humor licenses in the UK you silly shitposter. It's a "humour licence".

"Loicence"

trust me, if you made the mistakes I did; the sins I've committed, you'd probably drink too. Society has shunned me away a long time ago. I always thought I could run to a place where everything would be okay but there is no such place. I joined the military to fight for a cause I didn't believe in and then I realized what our government really is, and after college I find myself utterly and absolutely alone, which is why I am here. The only loyal friends I once had were losers so I abandoned them. My family considers me a psycho so I abandoned them. Girls fall in love with my physique but quickly leave me after realizing the fact that I do not love them back, and am utterly insane.

I kind of want the world to end, because it would give my life renewed purpose in a way.

So yeah, I drink.

There is a good one where a group.of prisoners in the siberian gulag escape and make their way across the eurasian wilderness back home.. Forget the name tho

>if only fugitives had an entire network on NGO's dedicated to helping them, along with governmental catch and release programs they could get away.
And there you have it. It's difficult as fuck to remain a fugitive today. Much like running from police. You may outrun a single car, but you can't outrun radio.

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What part of that doesn't make sense to you lmao
I fucked my life up, my life fucked me up, now I get fucked up using alcohol. It would be the hardest thing for me to leave behind if shit hits the fan.

You are just a faggot, thats all.

I've fucked a lot of women and don't have interest in sex anymore for fear of having a damn kid

The Next Three Days (itself a remake of Anything For Her), the entire plot is a guy making an elaborate plan to bust his wife out of prison. Watch both movies

>However you would need food and water for that journey as well as warm clothing so rob a gas station for it.

Why do you need food for an eight hour train journey. Why the fuck are you robbing a gas station after getting out. Want more heat?

You can only travel so far in so much time. Without supplies you won't be able to survive the wilderness. Most prisons are located in areas with rough and/or isolated terrain, making it even more difficult to travel. The only way you're going to manage to not get caught is to get into a metropolitan area.

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I agree with this vehemently. The idea is to become a ghost: a spectre that cannot be found. Robbing a gas station just adds to your trail which any smart person would try to hide.

Americans really are fat fucks. They eat way too much to the point where they don't even realize that the human body is capable of surviving perfectly well without food for a few days, even while being physically active (if I can do it why can't the average person?)

I'm really not that much stronger than an average athlete desu

You CAN survive in the wilderness if you know what you're doing.

Forget going to Mexico, they have an extradition treaty with the US and unless you're a professional soldier cartels don't need you.
There are plenty of places in the US to disappear or go off the grid. Hell, you could probably do it in a major city as long as it's completely random

And even if you get caught you'll get the respect of every prisoner for having the balls to escape

Without tools and basic supplies odds are you will die within a few weeks to a couple of months. Clean water, natural predators, exposure, and food source are all pretty big problems. Meanwhile, you'll have to spend time on all of these things, while police are searching for you. You can't stay on the move constantly without food and water. Your best bet is to steal a screwdriver, break into a parked car, break the ignition and drive the car to the nearest large city or a state where you have no friends or family.

As soon as you escape, you need to be lucky all the time for the rest of your days.
The people wanting to catch you only need to get lucky once.
Statistics are a bitch

Biggest problem about escaping is where to go next, you can't get out of the country easily, and even if you do the entire Western Hemisphere has extradition treaties to deport your ass back to the Feds.

You need to develop contacts who can get you to Russia, Balkans, or the Middle East, because everywhere else is hard tier shit to survive.

step 1

don't go to prison

James Robert jones

37 years on the run.

Found in retirement home in fla.

Facial reconditioned computer got him

Here's a list of potential options, although considering the overseas travel I'm guessing it would so much planning in advance to get there, that you'd have to know ahead of time you'd need to bail on the US to get there. Most likely if your going to, say, pull a Snowden. But even then, what's to stop the federales from trying to strong arm or bribe the government of your new home? Most of these countries are shit tier, and have no reason to protect you if put under pressure by the US. If you don't think the US gov will try to extradite once you've gone that far, then why not just serve the time? If the crime was so heinous that you are looking at a life sentence or some such, why would the host nation want to protect you?

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that guy looks like he's on his way to his first term at Hogwarts

Having been homeless before and succeeded at it, thats just what I would do. I'd get as far away as quick as possible even if it starved me, only need water. After that just overdress and lay low in bushes and out of sight till beard sets in, eat at night. After that just activate hobo mode because 99.9% of people ignore hobos.

Majority of fugitives visit their family for money and shit.
If they have been criminals before,they would also visit their accomplice's house for a quick change of clothes,re-arm and some money.
But all in the end they get caught over simple mistakes.
If you want to learn some experience of what the fugitives went through and do in the american soil,watch I Almost Got Away with It

Business idea: don’t do nigger things and act white and don’t go to prison

and have them find the car and then trace it back via security footage? you heavily underestimate Uncle Sam aka Big Brother

If the USA is so easy to get into that some cactus nigger can hop a fence and do it, then why can't you go the other way around? No one will even care. IDK if you know this but there exist miles upon miles of unmarked border territory between USA and Mexico.

Exactly. Dogs are the only issue at that point, but dogs can be fooled if you smell like garbage mixed with vomit.

I almost got away with it and Investigation Discovery has educated me to the point where I feel like I could get away with anything (not that I want to because there is no need to)

I really hope this isn't a real story for so many reasons.