What's going to church like?

First we all sit down and some deacons or sometimes the priest reads bits of the Bible and the biography of any saints whose feasts are today.
Then we get up and sing hymns, then we bow and the Holy Spirit turns the bread and wine into body and blood, then we get up and pray a lot, then we have communion.

Search up Alexandrian Rite

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It's the time when I stop and think about what I did that week so there's a lot of feeling shitty about myself.
Unless there's something in the reading or the sermon that gets my noggin going, but that happens rarely.

Sit kneel listening.

Kneel sit listening.

Kneel stand kneel listening.

Whatcha a baby get special water dribbled on its head.

Eat cracker get told my sons are forgiven.

Eat at restaurant .

Go home and do same old fucked up shit.

Boring, I remember the Jesus painting staring at me with eyes that look like they are following you from all angles. Nice people. But being a kid in sunday school of course it was boring as fug. Not trying to knock it or the church just is what it was. Thank god we didn't have to do that communion nonsense like the catholics.

Bazinga man taught me the truth so I can't answer your question

Boring, and if you're catholic, hard on the knees.

You sit for an hour among a gaggle of boomer women and some immigrants while listening to some guy talk about how special Jews are. Then you donate money to Africa.

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Healing.

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>Donate to Africa

My favourite part

It's a very spiritual experience.

>I'm not a loser
Just wait

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Pretty cool, check it out (includes Canadian provinces) ecclesiadei.org/masses.cfm

Im actually waiting to go do mission work in Kenya through my local Anglican church. See you around friend.

Depends on the church, I presume. Had to go to catholic church as a kid, which was boring as fuck. Would recommend a protestant church where the priest does not just go through the motions, but a pastor or fellow church-member gets up and starts talking about some bible passage which has been on their mind that gets the wheels in your head turning.

The singing can be fun, but only if the church is not stuffed with old people who simply mumble along so your family has to carry the whole congregation.
Avoid anything which tries to do youth-outreach, that shit is always cringy as fuck and the reason is very simply that the bible does not have any books and no christian theologian has ever written any material, that I know of, which deals with teenager's teenage problems, so you just have some dorks who think the problem is marketing a book for adults to teenagers and not the lack of a teenage book.

pretty much this , a lot of stand up and sing, sit down and listen

go to the Church

A solid mood booster, makes resisting degenerate urges easier throughout the week. I hate missing.

Thank God the early settlers in my county burned down all the catholic settlers' farms so I don't ever have to put up with the blemish of filthy papists in my area. Or their heretical shrines to vanity they call churches.

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Virtue signaling and singing.

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>Cara

Holy shit that hair suits her way more than I would have expected.

Instead, degeneracy reigns supreme.
Congratulations, you played yourself.

Community building. Forced socialization. Mental conditioning. Guilt control to teach self control. Psuedo sadistic nuns and zealous sunday school teachers. Politics money and religious discussions among community organizers with big budgets to play with for event planning.

It’s different each time. Usually, I have some time to catch up with friends before, during, and after service. Sometimes old friends from other countries stop by. We sing some songs, pray, take up an offering, listen to a sermon, sometimes take communion, and sing another song. Last Sunday, the sermon was a narrative about Moses. One speaker likes to play clips from Scorcese films (Godfather, Silence). Sometimes it’s poetry (Blake, Donne). Afterwards, we hang out some more, maybe go for dim sum. It’s comfy.

A lot of standing up when everyone else does it. Then you sit down. Repeat a few times. Standing in church is harder than standing around doing anything else. The priest talks about stuff then eventually they ring a funny sounding bell but everyone is dead silent they respect the bell. Everyone slowly lines up and takes communion,the bread and wine or just bread. I just put my hand on my chest and the priest says some words to me. Then everyone prays forever and everyone shakes hands and says peace be with you and the priest gives one more speech then its finally home time. The benches are wood and uncomfortable.

You shake hands with strangers like a commie, you strain to hear the priest over crying babies and ill-disciplined children, you kneel until your knees hurt because you are a fat pig, then you walk slowly out in a line trying to think of something to say to the the priest on the way out.

> What's going to church like ?

youtube.com/watch?v=j_2bN4FceQ8

I am confused as to who would I want to fuck first, the dog or the girl.

One time my mother took me to church when I was little and I really didn't want to go or bother with that shit. So during the sermon I stood up and said:

>Mom, you know I want to be Jewish, I want to leave

She never went anywhere near that church ever again lol

IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT TO DRAG ME AWAY FROM YOU

What the fuck is this faggot shit? Just go to a few on Sundays.
>WHAT'S EATING A CHEESEBURGER LIKE?
sage

Why would you be eating McDonald's at 10 AM? Jesus you must be fat.

It's like bags of sand.

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Extremely boring

Boring

Pretty good, at least Catholic mass. Idk about p*otestants

Nature is God's real church.

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Strangers with terrifying soulless eyes smiling and talking to you about god while standing entirely too close. Used to go to church when I was a kid and every time I went I was fucking scared shitless of the people. It was just a regular christian church too, not some super duper creep show church you see in horror movies. Pic somewhat related, it's how people's eyes and smiles looked

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>walk in
>say good morning to whomever you see on your way in
>usher hands you a program
>find a seat
>listen to the organist playing
>do some prayers
>check program to see what hymns are being sung
>use visitor cards to mark the pages in the hymnal so you're not fumbling around
>nod politely and make eye contact to people still coming in, but I try not to get drawn into conversation. The sanctuary is no place for shooting the breeze. People who want to talk should do that before entering the sanctuary
>first hymn, stand up, turn to face pastors and crucifer as they walk in
>in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy ghost. Amen
>kneel
>confess sins, pastor forgives sins
>stand up
>sing an antiphon
>lord have mercy upon us
>christ have mercy upon us
>lord have mercy upon us
>glory be to God on high...etc.
>pastor says/sings the first "collect", that means he says "the lord be with you"
>we say/sing "and with thy spirit"
>brief prayer
>sit down
>Old Testament reading
>antiphon
>epistle reading
>stand up
>the crucifer carrys a big bible to the middle of the sanctuary and the pastors follow him
>The continuation of the gospel according to St. (Insert which of the 4 here)
>glory be to thee oh lord
>reads the text
>Praise be to the oh christ
>pastors go back to the front
>recite nicene creed
>sit down, sing hymn
>sermon
>collection of offering
>stand up
>the lord be with you
>and with thy spirit
>lift up your hearts, etc.
>holy, holy, holy etc.
>our father, etc.
>this is my body, which is given for you..
>this is my blood, shed for you for the remission of sins
>bow to the blood and body
>sing Lamb of God
>take communion
>Lord now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace etc.
>The lord be with you
>and with thy spirit
>the lord bless thee and keep thee, etc
> hymn, pastors leave
>Time to go home or have a cup of coffee

you have to go back

>sing Lamb of God
youtube.com/watch?v=TEa9D815HSo

catholic

Boring. The sermon is awful.

Your meme flag doesn't fool me, leaf

Those look like nipples to me.

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Why not? I never understood sensitive stomach or whatever people.

Sexy huh?

>One speaker likes to play clips from Scorcese films (Godfather, Silence)
Wtf?

Pain in the knees.

Oh no. We don't like popes.

Perfect teeth.

>when the fatale is stronger than the femme

Itt: fatasses complain about muh knees.
I'm fat myself, but you gotta be either huge or a huge pussy not to be able to handle church

i was catholic and what you described sounded very similar to a catholic mass

I just like being around the people I see at mass on Sunday morning.

What an infuriating picture. You're in the woods with a fucking WOLF and you're so small-minded and afraid of introspection that you can't enjoy the silence, just got to have this Perfect Product Placement(TM)(C) set of headphones on to drown out your own utter vapidity in jank-ass music.

I want my fucking rib back, women were a mistake.

You sit around for an hour listening about how we need open borders and more refugees

catholic zoomer

kek’d

It's like hanging arround with a bunch of holier than thou jews, but they're too stupid to realize the actual reason for joining said religious cult (the sheks).

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Tred needs moar Cara.

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its called an apostasy

That'll be 10% of your pre-tax...plus tip mofuka

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Lonely....since no one goes anymore lol

It's tough:
-All the masculine churches are filled with old people.
-All the ones with young people focus on recruitment and donations.
-All the ones with traditional QTs tend to be the most cultish and have a lot of made up. rules.

After a lot of searching I found a moderate Baptist church with a good community. It's relaxing and feels like going to a self help talk but less cheesy.

find the nearest bible believing baptist church that preaches hard on sin and sticks to what the bible says and believes that there's none righteous not one and everyone has sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and Only Lord Jesus is righteous and holy because he's God and believing on him is our righteousness and he's the only advocate with the father and STICK TO IT .

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I'm going to comment on the people I see in catholic churches:

- Lots of friendly old people
- Lots of early teenagers that are there because their parents forced them into catechism and will probably go full leftist/degenerate in college as some sort of revenge.
- Annoying little kids that make noise the entire mass
- Lots of thots who regret something they did last week but will probably do it again this week.
- That doctor you were supposed to visit a month ago.
- The overly quiet guy/girl from work.
- A person that went crazy after they lost everything in a tragedy that prays with the power of one thousand suns at the front row.

The only things I hate are senile fathers and """modern""" catholic/christian music.

Here the priest takes time to talk about the biblical teaching of the day and how it applies to everyday life or explains the state of affairs.

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By father I mean priest.

I also dislike young priests and child-targeting masses/priests. It's like I'm watching down syndrome Barney reading the bible.

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It's comfy. I didn't grow up in church but have always been Christian. If you can find a preacher who actually teaches the Bible it feels very good to go and get fed so to speak. I've found that I like the rythem of going every Sunday morning.

Full of old people and aged women. I love the smell of incense and burnt wax though.
The songs are alright.

.

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She said she's lesbo. Well good to know it's the same shtick KStew's pulling for virtue signalling.

Been altar boy in catholic church, it's like this:
If you are one of the flock you go into church which features rows of banks for knees and ass. You sit down and wait for the faggot in chief to show up and when he walks out with his boys you stand up again. Then he will walk behind the alter and sing a sentence with his hands up and the flock answers singing something else. Eventually he starts talking about some shit, you kneel down you stand up again kneel down say some lines you're supposed to say sing songs and so on. Eventually you get the holy communion which starts king fag preparing wine and some tasteless pieces of bread turning into the flesh and blood of jesus. The flock will line up and stick their tongue out like while kneeling like they're about receive a glory shot to the mouth and the dude will bless them one by one. Then they circle the donation basket around for africans and he'll talk some more shit I dunno maybe some other cunt talks shit and after 2 hours of boredom it's over.

If you're an altar boy you show up early through the backdoor and maybe there's a creepy dude smiling at you. Then you swing around on a rope ringing the big bell and then you walk out being the slave of the priest doing his bidding ringing little bells and shit like that every time people are supposed to kneel an all that. After that you'll go back to the locker room or what it is and the priest will watch you change your clothes sweating a little with a chubby in his pants while the other kids are on their toes. The kid that has trouble at home and is a little shy will stay back and have a chat with the guy.

extremely cringe if you go to a Methodist church

-some dude tries to make millennia old scripture and fables seem relevant and trendy
-directs the congregation to (insert literal hippie shit here)
-weekly LGBT circlejerk
-reminder (they have to remind you) that blacks are human too
-christian band plays 'trendy' christian music
-let them in, etc.
-christ is love! love your neighbor unconditionally! even if he is killing you!

last time I went I was praying for some psycho teenager to show up and mow us all down and put me out of my misery

I've never seen an irl church AMA

So you have no problem with her being a coalburner? Please tell me you are of h*ngarian descend.

She said she's "panseshual" or some shit. She'd fuck anyone, because what matters is "the soul" bullshit. Just leftie talk for being a trash human.

I had the same experience at the United church, the even talked about gender identity in their creed. A lot of the Anglican churches I drive by fly the rainbow flag as well. Baptist so far has been the only normal church I've been too.

We have russian baptists here and those are batshit. Don't know if that the same kind of deal but the girls all look like librarians who are only allowed long skirts with yellow tights underneath and some only bath once a week.

the place I went with my then-gf (I will do anything for pussy) had an honest to god rainbow cross out front

sounds like they have got their women under control to me, hans

It’s like being part of a big family regardless of whether you want to or not.

Na ja, még állampolgárságom meg külhoni lakcímem is van már lassan 9 éve. Valami más drága oltyán testvérem?
Ez meg az itthoni IP-m, nem proxi.

Holy shit this little insufferable faggot only fuck 11/10 white pussy all the time it's fucking infuriating...

Herretic! Into the loo with you poo.

>romanian starts babbling in his gutterspeak just because he sees another romanian

fun fact: they can't even understand each other, they just babble back and forth to make noises that make it seem like they are conversing to outsiders