No Fucking Jobs REEEEEE!

This. Happened to my friend, he just killed himself recently after realizing it.

Don't ask questions like these on Jow Forums. All they'll do is call you a faggot and tell you to kill yourself.

dude I'm literally some fucking loser with no job skills other than smiling for customers and putting cheese on dough and I make $13 an hour at some mom and pop restaurant
When was the last time you had a job?

An internship with who?
Some no-name startup desperate for anybody to write some html that he didnt even get paid for?

Please.

Infinite graduate student here. My advisor may never let me finish, but as long as I get to live rent-free with mummy I guess it's ok.

>t. boomer that had everything handed to him
I’ll crack open a cold one for ya Charlie

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Just be a NEET you fucking tard.

OP should just grab a job, even if it's something unskilled. Then he's at least surviving while applying for good jobs.

Unemployment is at the lowest point in years my friend.

You don't just apply and sit there waiting for a response back you fucking lazy fuck.

Be proactive in calling them or even visiting the place you've applied. Dress presentable and show your interest to them. It's not fucking hard.

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What's worse is when you're still stuck in your parents basement because they didn't want to help pay for college, and then they wonder why you're still stuck there. Okay, so I think it's obvious my parents are dumbfuck boomers that are entirely oblivious to how expensive college has become. I'll just get a job and move out. Well, it turns out rent is ridiculously high too now. Okay, I'll get a second job...except I can't. It's been 2 years and still can't get a second one (only got the first because I was interviewed by some 20 year old manager who didn't give a fuck and didn't even look at my application - it helped too that the place had a high turnout rate so she was very desperate for new hires). So anyway my parents come down to my basement room and start yelling at me. YOU NEED FULL TIME JOB. YOU NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR LIVES BECAUSE WE DON'T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOU AND NEVER HAVE, YOU ARE A LITERAL STRANGER TO US. I fucking try telling them "gee, let's see you be a 27 year old loser with no college degree, no drivers license, and job experience that basically amounts to a few years burger flipping. But instead they completely ignored me and started telling me how I need to start acting like an adult. Yeah, fuck those pieces of shit. Boomers are fucking scum. I swear to fucking christ one of these days I'm going to fucking snap and suffocate them with their pillows while they sleep.

>Jobs
What?

No, this guy is retarded. If you're a lazy failure of a life you can always turn this shit around. If retarded ass ex-convicts can get a second chance so can you. The only difference is your ex-convict is willing to put in the work than a fucking NEET.

Don't forget to look them in the eye and give them a firm handshake.

If you find $12/hr take it. A lot of places offer a raise if they like you after a while.

Get your resume tailored at a University/ college/ unemployment centre. With the high competition and as many applicants as we have, it makes a huge, huge difference.

My fiancee and I finally got calls back when we started doing that.

Also, look into things that can give you experience in your field. Certificates, diploma's, workshops on computer skills/ programs. Don't just look at craigslist/ kajiji/newspaper. Go to websites and scour all of the careers sections.

Tailor your resume to each job.
Good luck anons.

>mindlessly apply to jobs

Trucking companies will pay you while they train you to get a CDL.

Google it.

You need to barge into the managers office, look him dead in the eye, and give him a firm handshake.

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School bus companies also will train you for free

23yo here, neet and last time I held I job was 19 months ago. I blame myself for being lazy but its hard getting a job when you're white. In Canada, employers have to take priority on hiring, women, natives, disabled, and visible minorities (shitskins, niggers) before white men.

have been unemployed for about 2 years now. my last interview was for a server position
>no hourly pay
>solely dependent on tips
but even then they didnt call back. they hired a negroe instead. yea i havent applied to a job ever since

Not all of us have a drivers license. Or a college degree. Or any job experience really.

>No fucking jobs REEEEE!
So make one. Start a business or do freelance work.

>No fucking jobs REEEEE!

This fucking meme died in 2011.

I unironically got a job making 1.6k a week with almost no experience starting by texting a manager and giving him a firm handshake as he treated me to dinner, filled out the employment paper work there and everything.

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Considering that many of them are boomers, you're damn right, low-testosterone cowards.

I went through this until I joined the Coast Guard

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The only excuse for not having a liscence you could have is living in the city. Even then most people I know from nyc go on to get liscence a regardless if they’ll be driving much just because it’s good to have.

Doing what, sucking dicks?

Just tell this world to fuck off and go on entitlements. We're slaves and unloved.
I'll always have no woman and I can't do anything about it.

if you won't give advice, and assert that OP has no experience despite explicitly stating he has experience, fuck off back to Jow Forums.
>hurr, X isn't a REAL practical language
again, fuck off back to Jow Forums
Unless you intern at IBM or Intel for software engineering, the intern title doesn't mean shit, you support yourself via a portfolio of projects.

>2018 being a wageslave

just...

How about not having a car?

The United States and much of the rest of the West have effectively been employing hundreds of millions of low paid chinese slave workers for decades, all without the labour laws or environmental consequences resulting in very cheap goods in western shops, low inflation maintenance of purchasing power for the western masses mostly for the purpose of buying the latest junk imports from Chinese factories designed by western corporations, and by doing so have completely transformed the Chinese economy from inconsequential GDP of $300bln 30 years ago to $12 trillion today, and thus exponentially strengthening a totalitarian state ruled by a communist dictatorship that increasingly seeks to spread its tentacles beyond its borders.
Remember that the Soviet Union was defeated not militarily but through economic warfare. The current economic trend trajectory has the Chinese dictatorship clearly winning the economic war as the Chinese economy converges towards becoming the world’s largest economy within the next 10 years unless action is taken to halt this trend.

This is why Trump has had to act and you can’t find a job.

>get a degree
>moved to san francisco summer after grad without knowing anyone or having a place to live
>got a shit account manager job for $50k starting and shit apartment in SOMA with bums everywhere
>hated it but the startup IPOd and eventually acquired for 9 figures
>new job, double pay making over six figures, everything great

literally ANYONE can do this

you're all pathetic

1. purchase and wear presentable clothing appropriate for day to day work

2. select a company you want to work

3. enter and chat up the secretary/reception. speak to a few of your future coworkers about their jobs and then ask one of the to take you to the hiring manager.

4. during the interview reference the coworkers you spoke to by name.

5. get to work at your new job.

>t. low skilled always employed currently making 20/hr at a job that doesn't even require a high school diploma.

You should still get a liscence?

>unless you intern with IBM or Intel for software engineering the intern title doesnt mean shit
So you agree with me then.

the most boomer advice ive read all day. you never had to do that yourself. it doesnt work, gary
>hello may i speak to the manager
>not available. but you can speak to the supervisor
>k
>hello i applied to this location a few days ago
>k. we have the application. we will call you for an interview by friday
>never hear from them ever again

The definition of madness is also the definition of persistence, mastery, and genius.

I gave up on applying because I got interviews for everywhere I wanted to work and then didn't get hired literally because I'm white. Most qualified candidate every time. I guess that's what I get for choosing journalism without realizing it was truly a cesspit of leftist degeneracy.

At least I'm wealthy and get free money from my family.

Just waiting for the next big world war or civil war so I can become an officer and lead men into battle.

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with all respect if you had a coding internship and didn't get the job...
anyway... show me your public github i'm looking for a react developer

>Showing any effort is boomer advice

Yep, you're a lazy fuck.

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Make your own job.
People will pay you to do almost anything that saves them a buck or a couple minutes of their time.

gotta start somewhere annon i started at 9 dollars an hour and worked my way up to 13.50 an hour sure its retail but it pays the bills

>failed programmer salty as fuck
Kek, so easy to spot.

It might be a meme but there's an element of truth to it. When I decided to stop being a worthless NEET and apply to jobs it was really easy to fill something out online and have it disappear into nothing. But when I saw a couple of ads on craigslist that said apply in person I decided to pursue those. At one interview it became clear that he was gonna expect me to work 6 days a week 12 hours a day and at that point both the interviewer and I realized that going from doing absolutely nothing all the time to working 72 hours a week just wasn't a good fit for me. The other place I got a part time position they offered and eventually became full time as I got used to leaving home again.

How many dicks you gotta suck for 1.6k/week?

>thinking managers will remember spic #876 that shook their hand this week

You are doing something completely wrong. Have you ever made sure you don't have body order or something! Seriously, the job market is pretty good right now.

you still in the Bay? Realistically, how much is your take home pay after the rape tier expenses/taxes?
to an extent- there are excellent programmers who are entirely self taught and hired on for 6 figures, and there are poo-in-loo tier coders hired for the same salary with a degree. The main takeaway is that if you can demonstrate the skills you learned during an internship, it's valuable, no matter the name (hence- > the intern title doesn't mean shit, you support yourself via a portfolio of projects.) . Regardless, as I said, even if you interned at a small local business or IBM, you must be able to demonstrate your skills. The "I interned at IBM" writing on your resume is certainly eye-candy, though.

>not having taken the tradespill
HVAC sales tech.

all that means is that there are less people looking for jobs. It doesn't mean there are a plethora of jobs to be had.

>things that never happened

I live with dumbfuck piss poor parents who thought it was a good idea to have more then one kid. Even if I had a license, I would need a car. And since I live in a shitty suburb, everything I need to buy is within walking distance, so I never really needed a car.

>why is this same generic resume` with no appreciable skills nor relevancy to the jobs I'm applying for being ignored over and over again?
You weren't supposed to put your love of cock down as a hobby, OP, that's where you fucked up.

If you're mindlessly applying and you're not getting to the interview phase. The fault is with your Resume/CV or Cover Letter (if you're using one). Go and look up a different template, use a neutral font, and tailor at least 3 different resumes for different types of Jobs.

t. someone who works for client connections at indeed.com

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>get a degree
>durr literally everyone can do this!
Unless they lack the money even with loans you entitled piece of shit.

add a work experience at some firm on your resume

Try applying to companies directly instead of through employment agencies, if you haven't already been doing that. I don't know your situation, but I have much better success at getting job interviews that way. Doesn't stop me from sperging out when I get there, mind, but at least I get my foot in the door more often than not with that strategy.

20 a day
when someones asks me if im still looking, i have to remember i habitually apply for jobs

yes i am

i make $3,800 bi-weekly after taxes, it's pretty bad. i pay $1,800 for my apartment and leverage the rest

ok

It's not hard to get a job user. I quit mine two days ago like nothing. I'll have another before the weeks over.

I have been 19 month on NEETdom how do I explain that away on my resume or interview?

Places will literally tell you "don't fucking call us we'll call you if interested" there's so many people applying to the same job. You're retarded as fuck DURR HURR KEEP HARASSING THEM TIL YOU GET THE JOB XD is decades old advice by this point that doesn't even work anymore.

interesting. Although it seems obvious, I never batted an eye at the font. I've applied to several technical jobs and non-technical job using Times New Roman with mixed success. Perhaps it's time to spruce it up a bit.

How hard is it to ignore an email? How hard is it to ignore a person who is talking to you? Ok, both are easy. But ignoring an email is way easier. Go in, make contact, follow up. You know what else you can do? Make sure you're reachable. I have called people to tell them that they got the job and they never found out because they didn't answer the phone and they hadn't set up their voicemail.

Lie and say you were self employed.

Get married and your EFC goes to 0.

I've applied to a lot of shit and rarely hear back from anything. It seems pretty damn unprofessional to leave an application hanging for 5 weeks and say nothing to someone. Not even a decline, just no communication at all.

based

I live in a van and eat fish, turtles or crabs 3 times a day. Got a glorious tan, fit, and fish all day long.
Life is good. A bad day fishing is better than any good day at work for jews and consumerist assholes.

>I will literally take anything that pays over $12/hour

You can accomplish this working at Target

You can make between 65-100k by contracting as a labor in fossil fuel jobs. It's really really easy to get hired. I mean just show up. But most don't want to work 7/12s

I have never had a hard time getting a job. And as someone who has hired people, I can tell you there are plenty of reasons why people dont get hired. The majority of the people I have not hired was because of personal hygiene, personal appearance, or just plain creeped me out in the interview.

do you post on /out/? I feel like I recognize you based off this text.

Better chance than them remembering some online application that they never saw. Also when you have a huge work gap they like to see that you're actually a human being and not some deformed chronic masturbator

Oh yeah sure, I'll woo women with my hentai porn game collection and my tricked out room in my parents basement. Fucking moron.

based HVAC bro

i got a useless degree in finance from a great school and was able to leverage that

i'd recommend teaching yourself python and SQL to become useful to employers, definitely would be hireable at that point

OP you need to realize that work is not for you. You should become a homeless: plenty of time, free food and shelter, you meet new people everyday, you can travel wherever you want. What else a man needs?

>Who here has reached the point where they just mindlessly apply to jobs on the internet as a joke and never expect to ever actually hear back and get one?

If the economy is booming where are all the jobs? Why aren't they hiring people?

>No Fucking Jobs REEEEEE!
Not a surprise, user.

BLS U-6 shows ~95M Americans are underemployed or unemployed. That's between 1/4 and 1/3 of the entire workforce. That Great Depression level of unemployment has held steady since ~2008.

Of course Trump won't say this, because he wants to claim he's creating "jobs." And the Dems won't say this, because the lie of "more jobs than we have workers" is part of their scam to open the borders to unlimited immigration. And neither side wants to ever admit it because if the people got told the truth there would be riots.

The American economy has been eviscerated by 30 years of (((globalist))) organ theft, and America's economic carcass is nearing the final stages of bleeding out.

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>mindlessly apply to jobs on the internet

Christ, you're pathetic.

Statistically Times New Roman is considered the"gold standard" of all neutral fonts. That's the font that I use on my resume. The rest of the neutral family that employers seem to favor from my company's surveys would consist of Calibri, Cambria, Georgia, and of course Ariel.

I thought America had a massive worker shortage right now. You must be a real fucking autist not to have a job in the trump economy OP.

Have you ever been inside an office or are you just a larping 10 year old? Most places I’ve worked needed a key fob to get in and the first thing the receptionist asks you is “who are you here to see?” How do you answer this question and what is your chat em up script beyond this?

what kind of degree

I don't understand..
Coders can work from home. Just fucking call Fluency or something.
Accounting jobs are always available from my experience.
I think you have some other problem, like ear gauges or something holding you back.

Im waiting on 3 different backround checks within a week. Youre not trying as hard as yoi think you self entitled piece of shit.

Did you major in STEM? Did you start a trade skill at 19? Did you intern while in college? Did you hang out with like minded ambitious individuals? Have you been working since 15? Did you join the military out of high school?

I'm guessing no to all of the above, so what have you been doing? Let me guess, fucking off, smoking weed, being a NEET, masturbating, not applying yourself. You made your fucking bed buddy, now lay in it.