*blocks your state*

Someone post the libertarian police pasta

And unloicensed bicycle tires, cant be havin an unloicensed deadly weapon lad.

OI M8 YOU GOT ER LOISENCE FO THAT SIGN

anarchy is better than left-wing totalitarianism

>Well played
All it means user is that you are reaching South Africa levels faster than ZOG is. Dr. Pierce used to talked about the "ancap" idea of no police and no gubment. To quote him, "what most of these people don't realize is that without fear of the police, the multi-cult elements in the cities would HUNT THEM DOWN FOR MEAT."

Also, how can you not have a gvt with a billion chinks (already taking over Canada) and a military that could seize the country easily without any sort of national defense.

Why BTFO? This seems like a succes.

Is David ZOG an ancap?

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Anarchy is what happens when their totalitarianism breaks down, by having literal faggots as a police force for example. It's complete hell to live in for the few decades that it (hopefully) lasts, and you still don't magically get food or freedom.

I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
1/2

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We should arm them

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.

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100% conviction rate is fishy as fuck. Not even china has 100% conviction rate

I'm definitely not an anarchist but, how it isn't obvious to everyone that private>public 99% of the time is beyond me.

Now you're gettin it

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I was thinking the same lmao

Maybe they only go after actual crimes instead of "offenses against the state".

Japan does.

Good. I’m tired of waiting.

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does a blaring siren not violate NAP?

I'm sure they only pass cases they have solid evidence like video surveillance for onto police. It's not like they have private judges hearing cases or any real control over the prosecution.

Your face may actually be the first passive instance of the NAP being broken

No, hes a bottom.

This is still the best libertarian meme.

youtu.be/rBHicyqMML4

Just did some research on them, looks like they are hired by the richest of the rich to cover cases like fraud and intellectual property damage as well as move on drunks from posh neighbourhoods. Seeing as they're privately operated I imagine people only pay the money for convictions they know they will win, but idk I'm not an expert on law.

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Based Polski

I feel old now. Those were more innocent days

>My Local Bobby exercise private prosecutions – their parent company, TM-Eye, is the only investigatory company in the country – to their knowledge – that does so.

>Whereas when the police make an arrest, they have to hand the case over to the Crown Prosecution Service to determine whether there is a good chance of conviction and whether prosecuting the matter would be in the public interest, all My Local Bobby have to consider is whether pursuing the prosecution would look good to potential punters.

>americans od on burgers

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Fuck it, time to read Hoppe.

>“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®”
Oh my god I'm dying over here

>oi can u make sure they got a loicense for me m8
>sure for 10 quid
>right here ya go
OI U GOT a LOICENS M8

>really tho all bants aside this is good news

this reads exactly like Snow Crash from the cops perspective instead of the pizza guy

Lads, the UK police are already a private entity, take the common law pill.

youtube.com/watch?v=g9ZQT9_D7Rc

>Implying that isn't better than this

>whether prosecuting the matter would be in the public interest,
WTF?

This mostly covers stuff like a twelve year old stealing sweets, or statutory rape between a 14 and 15 year old, and things of that nature. In practice if you're an adult it's pretty much always in the public interest.

i for one would love to see a british version of kuffs

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Instantly kek'd. Based.

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Was looking for the "Pizza Hut rescues woman in hurricane" but found this fresh one instead

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I guess though that when a 27 year old towelhead rapes a 7 year old and then chops her into kebab it would "not be in the public interest" to have the animal put down?

OCP RUNS THE COPS

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Can someone explain how you prosecute a criminal in Ancapistan? It would seem this case is successful because they have extra people to now arrest criminals but the private force is not the one doing the prosecution.

>Woman held hostage orders rescue from Pizza Hut
Right now, in my mind, I'm picturing a bunch of guys in all black tactical gear and MP5s with Pizza Hut Tactical Response Unit patches on them.

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Put them in prison, and give them a giant bail price, put an interest rate on it that makes the bail slightly decrease every week or day.

The same way they did it in the old days senpai.

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This is true. Having militias that are more respected and efficient than the state police leads to bad shit going down.

Perhaps we really are heading towards the collapse. Interesting.

Perhaps this may be for the better for the brit boys

What stops a private court putting someone away for decades for something completely innocuous/benign? I'm assuming that private courts would not have a common law shared between them?

>jobsworth and nosey twats can now earn money from fucking with people

Only the Germans are better at this.

because no one would live in a society that had unjust courts like that.

I think in ancapistan criminals would have to pay monetary reparations to people they injusted. So prisons would probably be more like hotels that you can't leave and that you work all day in until you pay back the people you fucked over. In my opinion, criminals would probably feel much more fulfilled by the time their 'sentence' was over if they knew that they had physically paid back the people they harmed.

>Having militias that are more respected and efficient than the state police leads to bad shit going down.
Potentially, but the militias themselves wouldn't need to do what they do if the police were capable of solving the problem. Hell, the police might be in the militias.

I mean, if there weren't a social problem a militia wouldn't exist as a social mechanism to fix it right?

>Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
Every time I read this masterpiece this bit gets me hardest.

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So we assume that a person can just up and leave a place where an unjust court operates?

What stops a private court from keeping someone in permanent debt after they are prosecuted and found guilty, regardless of crime? What happens in cases where there are no victims who are able to prosecute, like if a lonely person with no family or estate is murdered? Who's going to foot the bill for the investigation and prosecution? Also what about cases where parents prostitute their children? Who will prosecute? Would that be free enterprise in Ancapistan and would trying to stop them be violating NAP?

>National Socialism and Fascism as well as Communism keep collapsing in countries they are established in
>A fucking meme ideology is actually working

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Once you start seeing the militias, the problems have gotten so bad that people volunteer to clean up the crap their government left piling up. It's not a sustainable situation and leads to anarchic street violence every single time in history unless a new (coalition) state is made that can keep order.

The Brits here who think signs of the collapse are a good thing since something new can be built on the ashes are fooling themselves that they and their families won't have to bleed in the streets first. It's never a good sign, ancaps are suicidally naive.

>It's never a good sign, ancaps are suicidally naive.
I agree with what you're saying, but it's a "good sign" from the perspective of a collapsing country. If there are people who can clean up the garbage and get away with it then things will never get as bad as they are in, say, Caracas.

I would take a few decades of ANCAP over a few decades of marxist social decay ala Venezuela.

Got a version for those of us who aren't eusocial insects?

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antarchocapitalism

I love these things.

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Well it's a good sign if you hope that someone who is not you will emerge to clean things up.
>I would take a few decades of ANCAP over a few decades of marxist social decay ala Venezuela.
I really think people are completely and fatally wrong about what ancap actually looks like in real life. Nobody would call it "real ancap" because it would look like all against all over food and ammo, not the network of peaceful city states running on pure capitalism and law.

*gets their ass beaten into a pulp by a Canadian tourist who doesn't understand that Britain has now hired private thugs to enforce Sharia law*

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I hope your mom likes being raped because that's what happens in a anarchic system

>Nobody would call it "real ancap" because it would look like all against all over food and ammo, not the network of peaceful city states running on pure capitalism and law.
Realistically speaking yes, I imagine it would be pretty shitty. But more people are murdered in Caracas on a daily basis than were killed in Baghdad at the height of the Iraq War. I'd take private police over that.

Would you live in a state that had the death penalty for shoplifting? Would Wal-mart or Tacobell want to have business in that state?

>What stops a private court from keeping someone in permanent debt after they are prosecuted and found guilty, regardless of crime?

Courts have an incentive to be as just as possible, because they are funded by citizens of the society they are in. People aren't going to pay for a court system that gives out life sentences or huge monetary reparations for petty crimes. And even if there are a few outliers that think this way, why would anyone else join their society that has insanely unjust laws?

>What happens in cases where there are no victims who are able to prosecute, like if a lonely person with no family or estate is murdered?

Again, if someone is out stealing from abandoned buildings or murdering people in a society, other people in that society probably won't want them around. People in a society would voluntarily pay for 'private' courts and police to remove criminals. The same goes for pedophilia. Why would you want a child diddler living in your town? But it's not like people would just go around murdering everyone they thought was a pedophile, because no one would live in a society like that, and it wouldn't form in the first place.

What business or person is going to move into a place that doesn't prosecute murderers, thieves, or pedophiles? Probably not one that brings any value or worth to the table, so not one that could create any society that has a lot of people in it to begin with. And no normal society is going to want to have a terrible violent pedophile society near them either, so it's not like you'd have pedo-land right next to normal white person society right next to muderville.

Gib ancap books pls

>What stops a private court from keeping someone in permanent debt after they are prosecuted and found guilty, regardless of crime?
Unironically? 102 guns per 100 citizens senpai.

First of all you really shouldn't be comparing political systems across countries and people, as you well know. Secondly Caracas is a failed totalitarian state built on alien (commie) principles with pussified cops. The anarchy there is destroying ridiculous amounts of human life and capital, not to mention culture, so the rebuilding will be working with a destroyed nation. That's why the "ancap phase" is not good and every government in history stops this kind of lawlessness before it takes hold, except liberals and traitors of course. Baghdad during the Iraq War was basically occupied territory with martial law, which is always and everywhere better at removing lawlessness than liberals even when the population is in 100% revolt. Kind of makes you think.

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>your pic

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For a second I thought an overdose in this context was like some supersized deal.
So, if you OD on drugs you get banned?
This needs to be said?

youtube.com/watch?v=a-Mg78Y51dE

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