The wh*Test thing you can say... or have heard

I love you dad.

Pic of OP for ya.

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Here’s my license and registration officer

don't worry about i'll cover the bill this time you get the next one big guy

I have no debt

I love BBC

oof

>working overtime to pay for tyrone's free healthcare and housing

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>...and here's your tip, thank you for the great service!!

Shimano XT is as good as anything and doesnt cost a fortune to replace

i have a credit score over 800

I'm back honey after a hard day of work! Where are my lovely children?

" I will take all responsibility for my own actions"

>getting creamed by a truck of peace with a tolerant muslim at the wheel.

Have a nice day, officer.

Is that a jeep advertisment?

>getting shot by tyrone and going bankrupt as a result

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I work 6 days a week and work around the yard on Sunday to improve it

I also don't cause crime

i only drive jeeps and i dont give a single fraction of a fuck what anyone has to say about it

OI U GOT A LICENSE FOR DAT?

Oh snap.

>"Refusing to use gender pronouns is Orwellian."
Heard a cunt say that at a company dinner. Also some blonde roastie brought her boyfriend's friend as a date.

"Sounds good officer. I'll just be on my way again and I won't be forgetting that stop sign any time soon, hahaha. Ok then, you have yourself a super day as well and say hi to the Mrs for me."

Thanks for the warning and understanding officer.

Welcome Refugees

I have a wife and three children and I provide for them

Hi hungry I’m dad.

I can't tonight, I have to work on my thesis.

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“All men are created equal”

On the phone:
“Yelllow?”

Hey I actually just did buy a new JL Rubicon, confirms I'm white AF, thanks wog. Run along back to Punchbowl now you filthy nightshirt wearing orangutan.

Took my wife's son to the gym while she was busy

Mayonnaise

I want to hold a cute girls hand and keep holding onto it forever.

lmao

niggers tongue my anus

Fuck you nigger, get back to picking cotton

Literal niggers say this “I takes care o’ muh chullin”

>would you like *insert fresh fruit* to add to your cereal?

hey sorry miss miss you dropped your phone

Please and thank you.

Son, let's pick that up and throw it into the trash can.

> the most Minnesotan thing you can say

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I got a dodge cummins 4x4 dually.

HEY-OOOOOOOO

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I paid my taxes

The first response, is the best response.

Here's my participation trophy

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This car was maintained meticulously.

>Getting acid attacked

"get out here nigger"

Noice!

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Hi im a 40+ year old virgin.

Based

Underrated lycraclown saying.

i fed, clothed, housed, and raised all of my children without the help of the government!

Diversity is strength.

Israel is our greatest ally.

Here's a tip.

"Thanks for the warning, officer."

"Hi dad"

"Hey honey, I'm back from colonizing Africa!"

I own an electric fly swatter.

"All my children have the same mother, to whom I am still married."

>Here's a tip.

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lets go camping

Obama is a fucking nigger

>Hello police? I'd like to report a crime.

This.

I'll have a Guinness.

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I paid all the bills before the due dates.

>Goodbye kids! Goodbye honey! I'm off to work

my negro with the dad jokes. this is the sleeper of the thread right here.

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>be me
>white
>just bought a Jeep

How the fuck do that?

I got a new alumni magazine today..

>Goodbye kids! Goodbye honey!
That doesn't sound very white, more like black abandoning the baby mama and the kids ...
>I'm off to work
Oh, yeah. OK, yes, that's very white now that it's in full context.

"I have black friends!! We call them niggers!!!"

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"knock knock"

Yeah, umm just for the record I also drive a Wrangler. /ourcar/?

$80 on pump 4, please

I like classical music.

that's a winner

african american

Yes, I'll have my method of payment ready to go when you're done ringing up the order.

Thanks for the invite but unfortunately I'm working overtime on Saturday.

"I hate it when I have to step out of the shower to pee."

I haven't talked to anyone on my phone yet today.

>tfw it's been trotted out so many times in muh household one of the kid's nicknames is "Hungry"

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"Ladies.. looking good tonight." *walks away*

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"Shhh, we're in a movie theater!"

Hello officer, sorry for speeding slightly, I just got off from work and was on my way home to see my wife and children, here is my license and registration.