I never much liked my penis, but I didn't hate it. I would have much rather been born with a vagina though. Seeing girls with tight pants and bikinis made me jealous. I could never have sex with a penis - it was just too weird. Mostly, I thought having a vagina would be better. I had the surgery covered by health care, so it seemed like the natural thing to do. So I jumped through the hoops and made it happen - this summer - in San Francisco.
It was a weird anxious excited spring and then suddenly the time arrived. My parents and I went for a week of touristy stuff first, and we had a really great time. Suddenly the last day arrived. I wasn't really nervous, I was calm honestly. The morning arrived, I showered, and we got an uber to the surgery center. Check in. Change. In bed. OR. Wake up.
The first day was just a mix of very strong painkillers, applesauce, and my ass really really hurting. I had about 6 machines hooked up to me and it was awful, but I expected it to be awful.
The next two days were actually not terrible. I was in a recovery center with two nurses that took care of me in 12 hour shifts. Lots of pain meds, and I just hung out. It was painful but I managed it and was in good spirits. The nurses were really nice to talk too, we went on short walks, and it all just felt like part of the process. Then it was time to go back to the place we rented. The car ride fucking sucked but we made it.
The next two and half days were pure pain. A fuck-load of pain. The bolster and stitches were insanely tight and I was maxed out on my pain meds constantly. Without the hospital beds that have remotes, it took my dad and I twenty minutes to get out of bed sometimes. There was a lot of screaming and yelling, but somehow I was still in okay spirits. Once I had everything removed, things would be better.
They let me come in two days early to get the packing/bolster/stitches removed. Everything was off, and the pain diminished considerably. When they removed the catheter however, I couldn't pee, so it went back in. I got a crash course on dilation, then they sent me on my way.
That day my spirits fucking sunk. Straight down, full-blown instant depression. I didn't even know it was possible to feel that bad. I feel like a chained dog with this catheter; dilation is so fucking scary and I hate it with a passion; I have no-one but my parents to talk to; I'm stuck in bed with constant hot flashes from the estrogen withdrawal; I have to use the bathroom constantly from the stool softeners; I cried 8 times yesterday; all I can think about is that week we spent here having fun walking around being tourists, going to baseball games, I ran the hills at night for exercise, and I may have had a penis, but at least I felt human.
I feel like I've destroyed a perfectly healthy twenty-year-old body and I'm having a really difficult time. I'm a really social person who needs constant exercise and mental stimulation and this is sucking the life out of me. If the catheter was gone and I was 25% more mobile, things would be a little better, but right now it's dreadful. There hasn't been any sense of completeness wash over me. I'm just miserable. The first week I had an enemy, the pain from the bolster/stitches/packing, now it feels like my body is my enemy, and I did this to myself.
I came into this with fears. I was scared of anesthesia, I was scared about depth, I was scared about aesthetics. Obviously, I survived the anesthesia, and the other two turned out great actually. The one thing I didn't put much thought into was recovery. Lots of trans women get surgery, and if it were this horrible, I thought I would've heard that a little more.
why don't trannies realize that people who date trannies are attracted to girls with penises? Cutting off the penis basically renders you useless. It's what makes trannies special
If I'm fucking some pansyboy I don't want to reach around and feel his gaping wound that won't close, I want to stroke a small hard penis like a man goddamnit
Daniel Ortiz
I cant, i just fucking cant. Jesus OP wtf is wrong with you!
This is so bizarre. This whole mentality. It really is a psychological aberration. I mean--I know we don't reveal female gender here, but my comment would make no sense as a male. So basically: yes, what I just read is serious mental illness. I have what that idiot thought he wanted, I'm totally good with it, I like it, it's fun having sex, but sure, if I magically suddenly had a penis that would be fun too. It's sex,being able to do it and reproduce, that's the point, not what equipment you are doing it with. The fixation on equipment is the pathology, seems to me. Why would someone who isn't really living in their body as a sexual being to begin with think that mutilating their genitals would fix the problem?? Such a completely crazy, random irrational conclusion to reach. These people really need help.
I know two trans people personally, one through work, another through my sister's fucked up ex husband. Both were gay men. One was deeply closeted and uncomfortable with his femme side, his gayness. I think he felt he had to become a woman to be happy, as being gay was unacceptable. Literally as soon as he was even halfway there he found a genuinely sweet Canadian man (I'm not joking) and got married.
The other one was a total flaming faggot drag queen, who logically concluded that as he loved playing a woman on stage so much, he might as well go all the way. As long as orgasms were still assured, he didn't mind losing his dick; buttsex was his thing as a fag anyway and he had no wish to be a top. He did take it all the way and literally works in TV now and makes a lot of money from that and burlesque. He looks like a blowup doll and has a vag of sorts so I guess I might as well say she, if only because that took a lot of work and commitment.
I can understand these two cases. But they're not what pop culture tells us "trans" means, and all these young idiots mutilating themselves for what's basically a trend are really pathetic.
Carter Hill
They need to provide a third option of just removing penis but not having a huge gaping hole left behind. That way you can wear the tight pants but also are not in constant pain.
Dont tell me none of you ever thought it might be nice to not have to worry about keeping your dick out of trouble while doing various activities before Jow Forums
Joshua Gonzalez
How the fuck are there 69,000 mentally ill people subscribed to that subreddit?
Josiah Flores
The level of mental illness is fascinating. This is like jumping off a building and realizing on the way down you made a terrible mistake, but you have to live. I keep thinking about his parents too. I doubt he has a nurse. Does his mom have to help him with his gaping wound and dilation at first? Imagine doing that for the baby you once diapered, who willingly mutilated his body because he is a pervert. Imagine being the doctor who did this to a healthy person.
Eli Morris
>I was in a recovery center with two nurses that took care of me in 12 hour shifts
Taking up space that could have gone to people with actual, life threatening injuries sustained in the course of trying to advance society.
William Johnson
While I've never wanted to hack off my own dick, I have always wondered if I would have been able to find a happy relationship had I been born a girl.
But what do I know I'm a fucking incel.
Alexander Taylor
I think they have a version of the vag surgery that doesn't leave you with a hole, but aesthetically looks like a vag. You just cant stick a benis in it
Christian Diaz
There's actually already two other options: suicide, or better yet doing nothing / something else like dedicating your live to a vocation or something useful that is beyond this selfishness.
Julian Hill
>entire thread dedicated to gaining sympathy based on intense, excruciating pain >still manages to insert complaint that hospital bed doesn't have remote
Anons, insert your own scumbag steve meme cause posting off shitty laptop.
Oliver Gray
imagine how much better you could weld if you didnt have to worry about accidentally setting your dick on fire though
Dominic Moore
then just cut everything off and become a nullo?
Luis Howard
Got nauseous, couldn't keep reading.
Nathan Bell
keep reading user, tell everyone what you've learned here today
Noah Bell
>You just cant stick a benis in it Where there is benis, there is way.
