SUPER MODEL?

For fucks sake, what is wrong with you people?
Why are you doing this? People here mock america and western european nations now, we're supposed to be looking up to you.

You are so weird and retarded

Does Jow Forums understand how HUGE this is?

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>even when women virtue signal they must still be catty
wew

Seriously, how does this survive in the much vaunted "free market"?

Who buys a cosmopolitan magazine with a landwhale on it?

Anyone have the sales numbers on this?

>the next lesbian gf for Elsa.
i'm 100% sure

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You fools.

Don't you understand? Tess Holliday is the cover name for GORDA GLOBIANA, one of the most power practitioners of Win Kun Do, a martial art that hinges on the actualization of the soul. She has cultivated this protective layer of blubber to render herself effectively immune to bullets - small arms fire is less than useless if you're trying to take her down, and even heavy weapon would require a constant spray of bullets to do anything more than bruise her. But that's not the only purpose this blubber serves, no.

Via the actualization of her soul through the use of Win Kun Do techniques, she can use her blubber as a rapid burning battery. This is a technique unique to her, one we've dubbed "Prom Night Preparation", that allows her to rapidly burn through her blubber to achieve feats of strength and speed that should be impossible. You ever watch that old cartoon, Dragon Ball? It's like she's going "Super Saiyan." Were she a normal sized woman, she'd only be able to use this technique for thirty seconds, but with the mass she's cultivated, I suspect she'll be able to keep that up for nearly an hour, so attempting to meet her in CQC is suicidal...

I mean, does her knees bother anyone else?

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For real though this cover would only be more American if she was brown, but considering she dyed her hair and has shit eyes and is under lighting it's probably not far off.

I like the "is success a disease" and cuckholding on the front page too. We couldn't make a parody better than this.

>clearly a British cover
>spots all the clues and still doesn’t realize it’s a satirical cover

If it is, I didn't realize it either.

At this point you can't blame us for it, it's so close to reality it's impossible to tell

he entire fat fucking body bothers me

Severely underrated post

>It's only "acceptable" because of her face.

100% this.

For some bizarre genetic reason, her face doesn't appear nearly as fat as her body. And that's why she gets a pass - that and the fact that her face's bone structure is naturally aesthetic. But the moment her face gets as fat as her ass, she'd be written off. Nobody would say her body alone is attractive - NOBODY.

A while ago, didnt someone photoshop a bunch of her photos of her being skinny?

>Bullying fatties into losing weight is bad because it hurts their fee fees
Absolutely and utterly pathetic.

Body weight isn’t a result of lifestyle choices, though. Your body will homeostasis metabolism are you preset genetic weight. It’s been show cthst plastics, medicines, and HFCS increase that weight set point. Diet all you want, your body will fight to be the weight it’s supposed to be.

Whoa thats an a bomb

>miss piggy tattoo on her arm.

>sales numbers
They're moving weight.

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You're absolutely retarded. Metabolism plays a part, but weight is ultimately a numbers game; eat more than you expend, it goes up. Eat less than you expend, it goes down.

Fucking hell, you know how I lost 70 fucking pounds over the last 8 months, going from fat fuck to not morbidly fat fuck? By not fucking stuffing my face and taking a walk in the evening.

People who are morbidly obese without a disability keeping them that way are lazy, gluttonous piles of trash.

Carlos

>Wants the haters to kiss her ass!
I bet we could do it all at once to save time. Probably have space left over to draw stuff with sharpies too

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is it bad that I can't fuck a fat woman? I just can't. The fat is disgusting.

Carlos!

I bet when she is sweating it smells like raw cinnamon rolls.. yum.

I just remembered something. Fatties are gonna throw a fit when the 2nd It movie comes out because the fat kid grows up and loses a shit ton of weight and becomes a complete chad. It will probably spawn some fatphobia articles.

Bullcrap. Give me any fattie, I lock the nigga on a treadmill and give him only his allowed diet. That nigga is slimmer faster than you can say 'but muh metabolism'.
You know you can influence your metabolism fatty?
If 10 landwhales would stop stuffing their faces with sugar, carbonhydrate is also sugar, 9 of them would slim down, and 1 cheats.
Stop making excuses for fatties. The amount of people with a gland is so small itt not relevant to the argument.

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Id smash but not tell anyone

Forget the fatfuck look at these headlines

>Success is bad
>Being a basedboy is good
>Literal cuck story
>Muh rape muh victimhood
>Muh strong independent wimyn

Good lord it's like a compilation of everything wrong with leftcuck thought. Every single fag who worked on this publication gets the gas.

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BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
*snif snif*
oh yeh thats what im talking about

>weight loss requires literal torture and detainment
That’s my point tho

“Is success an illness?”
How in the actual fuck is this on the cover?
Oh, and she’s a disgusting land whale.

this is a slide thread. there are 3 of them wit this pic on the board right now. stick around and you'll begin to recognize them even when there's only one.

>having tradition and non traditional style tattoos
>being a fattie with a bigger gut than boobs
>looking like you have no ass even though your obese

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I swear to god you couldn't pay me to stick my dick in that thing. I would have to roll her in flour first to find the wet spot, but there isn't enough flour in the world.

honestly if it weren't for the fact that this is the world we live in I'd honestly thing that this would be something that the onion would've put out.

This us not a slide thread, I made this thread because I saw this picture and finally understood Newspeak and the perversion of language

When they depend on the state for everything from financial subsidies to employment and legal aid for their own well being, why would they break from the pattern and take care of themselves?

>miss piggy tattoo
Kek

>Tess Holiday want the haters to kiss her ass
She wishes.

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> Tess Holliday
> Supermodel
Super-size model, more like. And “model” as in “representation of something,” not “beautiful person I pay to look good in clothing or lingerie I’m trying to sell.”

She looks absolutely disgusting no matter what.

Also her face is heavily photoshopped and has a bunch of make up on it in this photo. You would have to see her actually in motion to see how fat her face would actually look.

I mean she is fit enough to operate a glory hole. Also what's with 'alternative ' models.

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Tfw a literal retard is hotter than Tess Lardiday

more like extra large

We should have listened to the oompa loompas

Oompa loompa doompety doo
I've got a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

What do you get when you guzzle down sweets
Eating as much as an elephant eats
What are you at, getting terribly fat
What do you think will come of that
I don't like the look of it

Oompa loompa doompety da
If you're not greedy, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do
Doompety do

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There’s literally a cuckold headline too

Aww man that comment killed me hahahahha

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Jesus Christ. How is it even possible to get that obese? She would have been paraded around in a freak show just a hundred years ago. How could we allow our societies to reach these depths of degeneracy?

It was a long road

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Wtf. How is this not some sort of retard-abuse? And who the fuck thought this would be a good idea? Models are supposed to be just that, models. They're supposed to epitomize human perfection, something to look up to and something to aspire to. In what sick world is a congenital disease idolized?

100% This

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B R O A D

no it fucking doesnt. you dont even need to "exercise" for Christ's sake. just dont stuff your gob with shitty processed foods and make sure you get your 90 essential nutrients and minerals. change your diet, change your life.

>just dont stuff your gob with shitty processed foods and make sure you get your 90 essential nutrients and minerals
Irrelevant for weight loss. You can eat whatever you want as long as you don't eat too much of it. If you're an average sized man, you will lose weight, if you eat under 2000 kcal a day, even if you literally eat only big macs and do no exercise at all.

>cosmopolitan cover
>literally photoshop'd and airbrushed to the furthest extent of imagination
>still look horrible
i dun get

Harsh, but true.

She is hot as fuck - and definitely white. Nothing wrong with her, for haters in this matter we have a saying here: "Man kann nicht alles dafahren im Leben".

Have you seen pics of her without 6000 hrs in photoshop?

Doesn't matter - only fap on her Insta.

super model used to be reserved for the absolute most stunning chicks. at least "model" can accurately refer to fat chicks. someone has to "model" tarps

Good think you justify your degeneracy in considering her "definitely white", no?

>is succes an illness
Jesus christ

I actually might buy this to add to my cringe collection. It seems like a nice piece of history, when Comso went full fat acceptance.

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kek

D I A B E T I C C

Belbro

>Miss Piggy tattoo
Oh my god I'm dying

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>>spots all the clues and still doesn’t realize it’s a satirical cover

unironically kys

id let her suck my dick, she has a nice face to cum on to

>the other lover, why I vetted my wife's affair
>cosmopolitan

The ultimate kike rag?

>being so big you can't even wipe your own ass properly
>thinking this is acceptable by any metric
>thinking people should find that desirable

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Why has this gotten no attention
Thanks for the laugh

My turd looks better than this monstrosity.

OMG is that the same kid from the 90's meme?!?!?!!

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WOULD SMASH

beauty face. doesn't help all those other fat chicks

how would seeing this as a kid change her life? Would she get fatter? Would she not get made fun of?
There are unrealistic things about beauty protrayed in the media, but I don't care where you go, the majority of people will think this is fucked up

D I A B E T E S
>unzips

God damn, Hepburn was the most beautiful woman that ever lived

Daily reminder she is deeply unhappy with her life.

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Imagine the smell of the sweat that gets stuck under her fat folds and crysalizes into a brown crusty substance. Imagine being this girls poor heart that is getting strangled by pounds and pounds of fat.

"Audrey wears pretty clothes in her new movie"

As if you need any more proof grown women are children.

Well the last few years is about being unique and standing out from the crowds. Because of all the porn we are desensitise to sexy women so something outside of the norm is becoming the new norm. The shock factor is more important.

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Its no different to gangsters having pictures of Jesus tattooed on their bodies. We all have our gods xD.

It's called shock culture. They're destroying any connection between words, their meaning, and rational thought.

I can smell the must, mildew, and cheese through my fucking screen. Disgusting.