How can I prepare for a 10 year stretch in prison? it will be my first time

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>>>trash

10 years without criminal history? how much have you fucked up? at less tell us something user, prison is waiting anyway

convert all your money to crytpocurrency and deposit it to a hardware wallet, either trezor or ledger nano s. once you have deposited the funds to your account, memorize your 24 word seed. once you've memorized your seed, destroy the hardware wallet.

congratulations, you now have all your wealth inside your head. you can then easily recover your wallet when you get access to a computer inside prison, which is sometimes allowed at minimum security prisons. you can then pay your cell mates for the top bunk, and cigs.

Stall the prosecution for 10 days and the judge will dismiss all charges

the worst that could happen is you come out of prison poor. the best is that you come out of prison rich.

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Get a face tattoo. It will scare away would be assailants.

> attempted to kill someone
> but I'm a good boy
Obvious nigger detected. That or a wigger. Either way, good riddance. When you get out, you'll either be gay or you'll be so traumatized that your anus can no longer shit regular sized shits. Instead you'll be seeing chode-sized shits. You get what you deserve you filth.

whats the whole story?
i did 7 years for drug and firearm related charges, it wasn't as bad as they make it seem on tv. dont become indebted in anyway to anyone, thats the best way to avoid getting raped unless you have lots of cash then you just buy protection

Find the toughest guy there and beat the shit out of him on the first day, then eat his dessert at lunch. Then tell everybody you're just looking to do your time and they'll leave you alone.

Or shank a guard, the rest of the prison bros gonna be okay with that because you're a crazy bastard who shanks guards

Also (and I'm not joking) become a Muslim and find the other Muslims in there, they'll keep you safe and no one will fuck with you because Muslim prison gangs are scary as shit

I hate these fake ass threads.

Catch some kind of skin rash with pustules around your anus as a deterrent.
Seriously though, just kill a guard your first day and everyone will love you and leave you alone.

When you first get in, you gotta join a gang or else you're fucked, even worse if you're a mutt. If you're white, you gotta side with the Aryan Brotherhood, if black you join whoever accepts blacks even better if a black muslim gang. Next, you need to beef up, become stronger than anyone who wants to fuck you in the ass. Also, after you get out of prison, DON'T BE A FUCKING IDIOT AND GO BACK YOU FILTHY FUCKING CRIMINAL

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immediately find the head of the biggest gang in the prison and knock him the fuck out, don't even hesitate, when his head cracks on the concrete, roar, as loudly as you can, "what now, bro?"

Just run now and be prepared to kill yourself if they catch you. 10 years of prison isn't worth it. No one will want anything to do with you once you get out anyways.

this thread again. for the 50th time.

driving under the influence and I killed a girl but I was tricked into doing it

I was at a bar with friends and I was the designated driver but they thought it would be funny if they drugged me and when I attempted to drive I felt something was off and just rammed into this girl at full speed. I tried to explain to the police what happened but they didn't believe me

You should have escaped already to Mexico you asshole.

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Can you explain what you've done to get this sentence?

Do your friends agree with this assessment, did your lawyer have you take a drug test?

Get money for you're CANTEEN IMMEDIATELY. Food will save your life. Give people food and coffee and hygiene stuff, you will be left alone, and if people fuck with you, the people you help will literally see that as them fucking with their food. $$$$.

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Holy shit. Data collecting thread

they claimed I dropped ecstasy which is absurd and the drug tests came back positive

don't listen to this asshole.
on good behavior and with parole you'll be out in 4
keep to yourself, keep your head down, and use the time as an opportunity for growth.

Prison cop here. I seriously can't tell you unless I know your state, offense, and custody level.

h

You are a faggot and watch too much TV.

tattoos. like double sleeves, back and if you can stomach it your face.

oh look another glow in the dark nigger demoralization thread. Sage in the options fields

I am a spoiled rich kid. I faced the equivalent of a murder charge for drugs. I got probation. Sorry you are going in. I never spent more than a day in jail so I don't know what to tell you.

>asking OP to doxx himself
honestly fuck off. even if you're not LARPing

Watch Big Hercs "Fresh Out" videos on jewtube. Very informative about all things prison. He'll answer fan questions about prison, and interviews other guys like himself who did 10-20 years.

youtube.com/channel/UCTsGL6oeAKi4lHIMfWwkcyA

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>post this shit for years
>still not in jail
what's the plan here ? do you need friends or something ?

posting in a datamine