Hey Jow Forums ive fallen into a deep state of depression, im feeling more and more like shit. its getting harder to get out of my bed. im so confused and i just feel my beliefs are fucking with me so much. I guess its time for some backstory
>Born to decent family
>Father a mechanic to be teacher and mother a accountant
>Father becomes a teacher and we move out of our grandparents to house
>We are good for a while and live like middle class Americans
>Father Cheats on mother
>Mother finds out
>5 year old me just lays crying on the floor of my room during fight
>year later, Living with my mother and every other weekend with my dad
>Father tells me i'm a fucking faggot and a failure that will never amount to anything
>End up going to counseling at the age of 8
>Father learns and tells me i'm the weakest man that he will know and that i'm lying
>Feel more like shit and get prescribed ADHD meds and Antidepressants at 10
>Stop taking them because i feel less like shit
>Go and find God at the private school i got a scholarship for.
>Get Good grades for middle schooler
>Mom's first boyfriend throws everything off
>Guy is a Felon and used to drug deal
>Mom doesn't tell me
I still remember it vividly, they got into a altercation and he pinned my mother against the wall, i pulled out a knife and was about to stab him but my fucking hands locked up and i just broke down crying. (My father was right 1)
>I feel like shit for months
>I couldn't defend my family
>Grade's tank
>Go from Honor roll to d anf c's
>Mother's 2nd BF
doesn't have many issues besides a car crashed where my mother wasn't moving for a while and she was just telling me if she died id be fine which still haunts me
>Discover Jow Forums when i turn 14 and leave middle school
>become slowly radicalized
>start realizing who i am and try to suppress it with, you guessed it more radicalization
Jow Forums i dont know what to do or why i posted this, but realize. This is a sad post
Sad Post
Other urls found in this thread:
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I can continue the story if anyone wants
Delete this shit you faggot
K
Holy Shit! David Foster Wallace! I thought you were dead! you fooled us all! I love you man. And Jesus loves you too.
Sorry you've had a rough life user. Planet Hater is a hellscape.
Workout. Bodyweight or weights, whatever. Just do something
Eat healthy, avoid sugar
Fix your sleep, avoid bright screens hours before bed
Get new friends
Move away from your toxic parents, and start a new life.
youtube.com
good luck user, grow to be the stalwart we need you to be
Remember the three C's. You did not Cause it. You cannot Control it. Yoy cannot Change it. Accept it and move on. There is a whole world out there. Find a passion and follow it. Suicide is for pussies and faggots. Good luck.
Have you tried drugs or fucking crack whores yet? You want to know what the secret to life is. Drugs and crack whores.
Sounds great, if you're a nigger.
I refuse to do drugs or fuck anyone. Im not worth anyone's time desu i just bring em down.
Buck up nigger, i grew up watching my father beat the shit out of my mother. i could cry about it, but i don't. in 100 years you'll be in a box like the rest of us and none of it will matter. get up. get shit done. and stop throwing a pity party.
>t. 25 year old boomer.
>eat healthy
i havent eaten in a week.
>Fix your sleep
Its been a easy 10-6 schedule
>Get new friends
try to but i just bring em down so whats the fucking point
>move away from toxic parents
mate, doesn't change that i'm the biggest failure i've seen
Im a fucking weak man i fucking know. i try to fix it but i just fall into this fucking hole constantly. ill be good for a month then this just bites me in the ass
Read some stoic literature, like Marcus Aurelius, and find yourself a solid anti-sin church. You'll feel much better away from degeneracy.
That’s some genuinely miserable shit user. They put the boot into you young.
>Discover Jow Forums when i turn 14 and leave middle school
how old are you lil buddy? Jow Forums was made in 2014
This happens to a lot of kids. As you get older you will start to forget about it and it doesnt hurt ass much. If you're still young its important to keep your school grades up broseph and keep bad people out of your life. Don't fall in with bad friends. My parents were fucked up as well. My dad died when I was younger. You're a worthy, you are special dont give up and lay in bed all day like I Did. Try to get out and stay busy make good friends while young. Work hard, budget and invest wisely. You will see better days user. Don't let the pain stop you from becoming the best you possible
17
you pathetic piece of shit
you should start to appreciate the short but extremly precious life you have been given.
People like you make me sick.
Look at all the suffering in the world.
People with chronic pain, who suffer every second, every minute of every day and you cry cause your mind is fucked up.
pathetic.
Once you get older and your health is vanishing youll realize what a dumb cunt you where and how you threw away your life when you still had all opportunities.
Its just like Dr Manhattan said.
It's too late, always has been.. always will be.. too late.
Fuck you OP
This, and join the military, preferably the Marine Corps or Army Infantry, where they're not entirely pozzed and will teach you how to man up.
mushrooms, OP
I planned on joining the Muhreens but i got flat feet and a possibility of schizophrenia (according to therapist) so im almost jipped out of it but hey, lying about medical history good amirite
I dont think there's a person here who doesn't feel weak, at times. Hell I'm in pulling out of a bender myself, I've been drinking my pain away. What makes us strong us we set small goals and achieve them daily(shout out to /SIG/). You wont get nervous or lock up before a fight if you spend a lot of time fighting. Maybe try some boxing or jujitsu classes. Set goals. Even if its just, for example, sign up to the gym today or learn one workout. Make these goals achievable and you will build the foundations of your confidence. Dont focus on denying your interpretation of the world's reality. "I'm radicalized- thats bad! Girls wont like me! People wont like me!". Fuck that. Your worldview is just a product of evidence. It can change. Be strong. You have to work for confidence. You have to work for your place in this world.
Please eat and drink plenty of water. You will feel a lot of different ways when you are literally starving. Prove the haters wrong. Lord give user strength.
Wtf is this pic, it's gay af.
You sound like a emo 15 year old. I don't really like fighting sports, but I'd suggest you to go to some MMA club and tell the coach that you're weak and that you want to be, feel and think like a man.
It's ok op. We are all in this fight together. We currently live in a very degenerate time period because of (((their))) control over our societies. But you can be someone that fights to make this world a better place. I believe in you user.
Cut out all caffeine from your life, immediately. The first people to use caffeine used it to see spirits. It's seriously sublime on the mentally destabilizing crash, and it's WAY over used.
Get your circadian rhythm in order. Keep track of your sleep hours, get at least 8hours a night, and if you ABSOLUTELY must miss that, make sure you make it up the next night, even if it means saying no to small social events with friends.
Part of circadian rhythm is Light Exposure. Understand that just a few photons can totally screw up your body's chemistry. Have strict light discipline so that you're actually in the dark while you're sleeping.
Eat a piece of fruit and a salad at least once a day. Drop all sodas and sugar drinks.
Try this.
en.falundafa.org
It helped me.
i tried to join but because of a traumatic yet heroic childhood event that left me scarred and mutilated, i wasnt good enough to join. that's what i get for saving the father that beat me every day as a child. the kids in school used to bully me for being paralyzed. i have chronic pain 25 years from severe nerve damage, brain damage from blood loss/6 minutes of being dead, ptsd, and panic attacks.
at least my father was generous enough to beat satan out of me.
if there's an afterlife, god can go fuck himself. when it's over, i just want to cease to exist.
>WAHHH i am so sad that my childhood was so good that I went to a private school, had counseling paid for by my parents, and then I threw away my responsibilities because I was sad about my mom getting bones by some new guy.
Fuck off your little shit.
Do you know what it is like to be homeless? Starving? Beaten or molested? Ever have to pay your families bills before getting out of middle school?
No?
Then shut the fuck up and get out of here with that shit.
sorry little bruv
you probably shouldn't come here looking for sympathy though
hopefully you can find a helpful friend or therapist irl
>Do you know what it is like to be homeless
yep
>Starving?
while homeless, in the winter
>Beaten or molested?
at the same time, by the puerto rican boy 3 doors down. i was 6, he was 14.
>Ever have to pay your families bills before getting out of middle school?
daddy was an abusive and violent gambling addict. if i didnt work under the table, he beat me more severely than usual
fuck sympathy, I'm just here for the nigger jokes
What so wrong with mint and liquorice? I mean I can't think of the last time I ate either of them and presume most people aren't horsing into a bag of liquorice each day either. Are they really that devastating for testosterone?
>not recommended milk
Well as someone who actually knows what the fuck hes talking about, into the trash it goes
Continue the story anyway. Pic related might make you feel better about your situation though. Always helps knowing there are people worse off than you.
hi /rk9/
>Father tells me i'm a fucking faggot and a failure that will never amount to anything
what are the chances he was projecting?
>much feelers
ExposingChristianity.com
"Boohoo i be mad sad an shit nigga" underage faeg your totally B&
Average mutat family who cares, meanwhile my only problem. With my white parents is that they spoilerek me a little
you must be 18 to post here.
are you sure you arent underage?
i will tell you this now since you seem new, but drop the flag and dont post stuif like this, because most of us dont care enough about a random person strolling by because we dont know them and their problems.
OP, I'll be honest with you and tell you things might not get better, there's a few good times here and there, but only you can prevent things from getting worse. Giving up and self-pity isn't an option anymore, not for you, not for anyone here.
The proof I have is the fact that you still come to this site, probably because you know about the wrongs in the world and want to do something to change it. changing anything is up to you.
>Doesn't know that this guy is suffering because of all the suffering in the world that turns people into what his parents and mom's bf are but keeps on ranting about how much other people suffer
Ignoring the bigger picture won't get you far, educate yourself more before you lecture a mentally ill guy about how things work