HUFFPO WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR WIZARD POWERS

Why don't they just browse Jow Forums?

why would you do that to us?

I'm 49. I should drop him a line.

i'm 37 and im emailing him right now

>judgment-free chat

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what if you had like hundreds of sexual experiences but you stopped because you're just super lazy and quit doing stuff and are too drunk to get it up anyways

> tfw was a wizard
> used wizard powers to summon an Azn succubus
> level-drained me of all my mana, can no longer perform wizadry
> now 2 years later still keeps me imprisoned as a mana source
SOME POWERS MAN WAS NOT MEANT TO TRIFLE WITH

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Ima tell him about the FFFFFFF club located in the devils triangle

The mortals should learn of our powers

What is it like almost being a Lich?

Should I ask him to take my virginity?

I'm going to email him. Not a wizard, what should I tell him?

Funny how a revealing dress can make an average 4 a solid 8 out of 10

I'm a level 27 wizard. Is semen demon summoning higher level stuff?

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Im quite tempted

Hang on right quick, if they want some incel shit you think we can do a better job than the lefties pretending to be us pretending to be incels?

This might end up with some TV shenanigans so why not let them take it all the way. Call it delegation of responsibility

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DO IT FAGGOT

>Bullshit, it's all being tracked.
Oh no, they will tell your entire social circle of all 3 of your friends that you are a virgin. Do you think it will effect Dungeon and Dragon night?

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Are there really people over the age of 30 who haven't had sex? Ever?
What the fuck? How is that even possible.
I've ended up fucking a girl simply because I bumped into her ass on accident and she though I was trying to grind with her.

How the fuck do you fail at something that the entirety of the human species before you has accomplished?

Here is a step by step guide for you lonely people in this thread.
>Go to bar/club/social event.
>Stand around looking for single looking girls you find attractive.
>Once you catch their eye, hold eye contact and smirk with one corner of your mouth until they look away.
>If they look back, approach them casually.
>Just say simple non-plussed shit like, "Oh, hey I saw you across the room, your real cute, want to get a drink/dance/gobacktomyapartment" depending on where you are in the conversation.
>Don't say any retarded shit or talk about anime or science of that shit. Just talk about your day, what you are doing later, etc etc. Be a little vague and act like you don't care A LITTLE. Don't go full retard and ignore them to look nonchalant.
>Get your dick sucked and put it in her butt if you are lucky.
END.

Now go make your daddies proud you bunch of nances.

Do I lose my wizard hood if I fucked a girl but didnt cum?

GRANDAD'S TELLING STORIES AGAIN

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>fail
its succeeding where all your ancestors have failed user.

Yes, also you are gay.

People here are probably better off paying for a really good escort who will treat them well than some club slut whos going to have expectations of performance and therefore create stress.

It's the clothes that make women attractive. Naked, they are just like every other woman.

t. attained enlightenment

fug

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>commie memeflag
>calling someone gay
I guess it does take one to know one

>The mortals should learn of our powers
Back off, faggot. I'll tell the elders.

>how do you do fellow incels

This but unironically.

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tell her she is a whore.

>Succeeding at failing to copulate.
I don't know if anyone ever told you this user, but sex is pretty great.
I love the boomer meme.
Because without all the jokes, it is just people giving advice so that other people can enjoy the same things that they have enjoyed.
The part I don't like is when people keep making excuses for why they don't have fun after it gets posted.

>you can trust me, I'm a journalist

Rofl surely nobody would fall for this right?

Ill have you know homosexuality was a 5 year trip to gulag under comrade stalin, according to chapter 6 article 158a of RSFSR criminal code.
8 years if its rape

How much do you think he's willing to pay?

Don't do it faggots. It's tantamount to breaking rule 1 and 2. You learned what you did because you lurked, read, digested and grew. Others have to do the same or it's like giving pearls to swine. They will either trample them not knowing the value, or they will use them against you to destroy you. Anyone who does this marks themselves as an enemy.

Yeah, I've had sex. But it's weird that white people, even the one who work in news reporting field, care about having sex so much. Nobody uses virgin as an insult in Vietnam.

Sex outside of procreation has become a social competition, invented by the kike media. You don't fuck a 10/10 because it feels better to fuck her than it does to fuck a 5/10. You fuck the 10/10 because it's part of the social competition.

Some people just don't want to partake in the degenerate competition, and I don't blame them.

>The mortals should learn of our powers
They most certainly should not!

There are a few of these threads goin on right now. This seems to be (((their))) latest tactic to distract you and waste your time guys. Don't reply to these larping fags. They are no more members of the press than I am the pope.

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Nah, the people here are better off not here.
I am going to sound like an old cunt, but I have a feeling that the people who constantly bitch about not being able to get pussy are the ones who lock themselves indoors allday and post memes on Jow Forums.
Thus you have MGTOW threads all the time and other retarded shit like that.

I come here at work when I have freetime to shitpost, I don't spend my actual fucking freetime here because that would be a huge fucking waste.

Even when I was an angsty teen back in 2008 i would do other shit than Jow Forums every no and again. These niggas need to diversify themselves.

Not all of us are in the top 20% of males (that is, the arbitrary top 20% list females create), and/or find a virgin girl. Girls are basically almost never virgins anymore 18+, have fucked at least one black guy or red rocket, or partake in any amount of other sexual deviances that their shitty as fuck parents never beat out of them. Women are broke plain and simple, and it's several factors - society promoting sexual degeneracy, parents not doing their jobs, social media and dating sites hooking women on the attention whoring and literal whoring, women in general being very susceptible to social woes.

>hey im 30 and I never got laid
Hey! You can totally trust me. You know Jow Forums?
>what?
Jow Forums, it's a site
>what about it?
Have you been there before?
>once I think, a long time ago.
OK THANK YOU VERY MUCH
(next week)
Jow Forums IS THE BIGGEST GATHERING OF 30 YEAR OLD NEO NAZI VIRGINS. HERE IS user WHO IS 30 YEARS OLD LIVES ON BUMBLEFUCK RD. AND WORKS AT A SAUSAGE PACKING FACILITY HE IS A NAZI

>feed him some sob story
>brag about it here in a visible manner but in a way that he won't be able to tell which person you are
>he gets so paranoid that he either calls off the whole thing or he turns it into a hit piece on everyone he interviewed

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That's not what nonplussed means. Now quit being a degenerate and go get married.

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this

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Sex has always been a social competition you dumb cunt. Cave men were braining each other with clubs for the bitches with less fur since the beginning of known history.

You may fuck chicks for those reasons.
I fuck them because it feels better to have my dick in a warm wet pulsating hole than my right hand.

You are only part of the Zeitgeist if you choose to be.

I've Benin ya mums pussy

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I had sex with you mom op, does that count?

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Also
>thinking this isn't a good opportunity to false flag as a lefty

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Bruh, I am nowhere near the top 20% of males.
My dick is like 4 inches erect.
I am fat, and always have been at least chubby.

This is all beside the point really.
Its a matter of statistics.
Of course if you stay inside all day you aren't going to fuck chicks.
However, even if you are undesirable in the classic way, you can still get your dick wet if you stick with trying to be sociable. Make some dude friends from work, and start going out when they go to bars and shit. Eventually you are going to find a girl drunk and insecure enough to fuck you because you are with friends and look like a normal person, even if you for real are not a normal person.

Stop blaming girls for your inability to at least act like you are not an autist.

Nonchalantly then you dickface.
That better?

Some people have severe social anxiety. What you just described looks like an ordeal comparable to The Apollo Mission.

Also, that is correct you fucking retard.
INFORMAL•NORTH AMERICAN
(of a person) not disconcerted; unperturbed.

>this retard actually thinks girls only care about dick size
Blue pilled (and balled) faggot.

>Benin
>Benis, basically

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BRUHHHHHH.
I know.
I have severe social anxiety.
Lots of people do. Its a natural human response to the mental expectation of having the fit into any given social group.

Luckily, there is a thing called alcohol, and if you can regulate your intake of it, it can lesser those feelings of anxiety.
Also, this thing called alcohol is served freely at the venues in which one may expect to find a sexual partner.
They couldn't make it easier for you unless they literally just gave you a woman at the front fucking door.

>going places and doing things
why the fuck does anyone do that?

Anyone who falls for this should kill themselves. Double unironically, and with prejudice.

mhm he cute

would you care if i was 27 instead of 30?

but how to fight autism? sure girls love me for being handsome and tall but i'm not capable of talking to them like a normal person. should i rather erase myself from the genepool by killing myself?

Fuck off, degenerate. I'm getting my wizard powers and making mommy proud.

Oh, then that chick was interested in my height 5 foot 6 inches?
However about my fat fucking baby face?
Or maybe it was my fucking Casio wristwatch, the oh so revered signs of wealth like blue jeans and a graphic tee.

Or maybe it was just because I had a couple beers in me and kept my conversation casual and seemed interested in her?

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This could be really funny

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Somebody bait him with the script to 40 year old virgin. See how long he takes to figure it out or get him to publish later for extra lulz.

I'm a whizzer I'm taking a whiz right now.

>you are only part of the zeitgeist if you choose to be

Whatever convinces you you're not a drone.

>Lich is an old English word for "corpse"
Is it just me or is it cold in here? Feel like that some days but I still have a lot of road left, user. I ain't goin nowhere just yet

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Thanks gramps

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If you think having some club slut treat you like garbage is what people want or what makes you happy you are an NPC.

So when they are 40 they don't want to kill themselves.
How to fight Autism?
Be self aware.
And not the anxiety sense.

I mean in the sense that you are 1 of 7 billion sentient evolved apes on the planet earth, which goes around the sun, which makes our solar system, and then that solar system goes around a gigantic collection of them known as a galaxy, and galaxies then also interact with each other for over 13 trillion years that matter has been extant.
That is how I got over autism.
Just realize how little ANY of this matters.
No fuck up you are possible of it capable of changing anything at all that matters in the slightest.

Go look at the stars for 4 hours a night and think about how little everything you do matters, and how little any given decision matters.

Is this ntr?

Your mom would probably prefer being proud of her son than him using her as an emotional shield their entire life mate.

>Eventually you are going to find a girl drunk and insecure enough to fuck you
>BRUHHHHHH
You sound exactly like a nigger. If you arent a nigger you should consider de-niggering yourself so real humans outside of California will respect you.

Since I'm op I should contribute

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It is in how you view your actions.
Yes, if you do shit simply to have that image of being someone who does shit, then you are a drone and should feel bad for giving a shit about it.
But, you can do things everyone else does, and enjoy it for different reasons.
Like sex. You can do it for status. You can also do it because it feels pretty good to have a woman's vagina muscles tighten on your dick while you are fucking her silly.

Only if you choose user.

Tell him how your lack if intimacy has made you hate jews

KEK

What I don't get is why would he take any source at face value especially if they're anonymous? I mean, did people suddenly forget people lie?

No worries you little shit.
Now go lift becky's skirt and feel it in your groin you little peckerwood.

Its a common parlance even among whites that expresses frustration with someone.
In this case it was because the person assumed I was giving this advice from a position of advantage, IE not having anxiety, when my advice was given with that exact pre-condition, as I was hugely socially anxious when I was younger.
Does that breakdown of slang assuage your fears of me having black skin Adolf?

Hard boiled eggs, user
Get it right

tell him you tried being gay once

Based on the fact that you seem to have solved your insecurity by fucking drunk insecure girls it sounds like you adjusted to a sick world.

my dad made it to wizardhood and didn't lose his virginity until he was 34, I'm 26 and will probably beat his record.

He doesn't say they were hard boiled. Only the drawing implies that

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