Is Jow Forums altruist?

no

No, but at least I'd dedicate my next fap session to their memories.

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Not if the men on the other track are honorable enough to die for.

>tfw

Super specific situations are not a logical way to question morality or philosophy. There is always a trap. If we paid too much attention to logical traps and specific scenarios we wouldn't even have time to be basically moral in the first place. The good we can do from focusing on reality instead of hypotheticals outweighs the wasted time spend on unrealistic particulars.

Just for you user

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Did you eat a lot of lead paint as a young Australian lad?

It's a fucking shitpost thread, you goddamn turboautist.

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No way I am losing my dick

Why would I put my dick on a train rail?

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Whos the autist here, pal? You're incapable of understanding the shitpost quality of posting something valuable in a shitpost thread. Go back to redddit faggot.

Step 1. Tear off penis/etc
Step 2. Run screaming to the nearest restaurant furnace to cauterize my new 2018 genitalia, and throw the sperm into the dough cooler.
Step 3. Force these people to work for me by pure guilt, and harvest the males' arduous hard labor to afford a Jurassic park style 4X sized, robot-controllable Terminator dick; impregnating female track survivors via freezer sperm

I won be responsible of murder for self-preservation, so muh dik is saved

Me and my wife's family > me and my parrents family > other relatives > My tribe/friends > my race > nothing > everyone else

Not even gonna read that reply, fuck you.

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I would sacrifice my dick, fuck it.

They better be fucking grateful though

You though you saw a Japanese child stuck in the tracks and you were trying to fuck it.

We both know you read it, go fuck yourself nerd. I bet you can only jack off the Japanese whores.

yeah I used to chew on the window ledge it tastes like fucking sugar

>How current England came to be: The post.

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Kek

Please tell me your kidding

>shitpost quality of posting something valuable in a shitpost thread
I'm glad I'm not the only one who does this.

But I hate chinks, they are fucking gross.

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Imagine having so much shit for brains that you actually get triggered by the one informative post in the thread

So do I.

Imagine thinking that was actually informative.

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think of Megumin, dick will be rock

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At least id have an excuse for getting zero pussy if my dick got chopped off

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Why would I sacrifice my dick when I could have the image of all those people getting bloodily demolished burned into my mind, providing years of mental fap material?

Important question. Is the train already headed toward the people or is it headed toward my dick? What would shifting the track do?

uuhh how stuck it would be after seeing that, better then cocaine + viagra

Specific situations can't be a measure of any system of morality. That is not an expression of utilitarianism, but of reality, and this is because we can never really know or quantify any specifics, or how we would react to them, only a basis of commonly occurring events.

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If they are all whites then rip dick but if they are non-whites then id run them over even if dick wasn't threatened

>benis doesn’t close the circuit

Altruism is only knowable through the act of altruism, not through an scenario or an example. Altruistic people often choose very early on to base their decisions on helping others.

I’ve got a prime 8.65” cock. No way in hell I’m saving a group of dumb cunts by sacrificing my manhood. Let ‘em die.

Altruism is also a feeling of good, but we also understand that is doing good: what would produce a better feeling of good, the loss of your dick or the loss of 35 lives?

Without an erection and with my foreskin intact, i could strech my cockskin and just get away with a ciricumcision.
But the i would join the ranks of amerimuts and their broken dicks, and there is no way im doing that.
Fuck those guys.

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I broke my dick off in your mom

I would throw the switch about halfway so there is an equal amount of space between each point (A) and (B). This causes the axle to start down each track until the rail spans far enough and the trolley falls on the ground harming no one.

Source: Am Conductor/Loco Engineer

>if this solution doesn't please Jow Forums then I'd let those people get run over. Ain't no one running this dick over

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Altruism is the culmination of egoism. By doing nothing for yourself, but only doing things for others, you are nonverbally telling them to appreciate you in all of your selflessness and all the greatness your actions represent. By making your life about others, you're basically making it about you still, by forcing others to recognise your virtue and compliment you about it or express their gratitude for it. Should they not, they will be shunned by society by breaking societal norms and values (depending on how consistent your altruism is).
Having made everything about not doing stuff in favor of yourself, but for others, so that knowingly or unknowingly you strive and live for compliments and adulation, you are an indirect egocentrist.
Also, you probably have the mindset of "people should be grateful", which makes you impatient with people who have reactions less than grateful. This will make you (on the inside) hate and get frustrated about certain people / types of people because they won't flatter your ego. It will also make other people (on their inside) hate you for being so much of a tryhard / pretender / wannabe popular etc, that you'll end up in the very position assholes are in (only more socially awkward, since assholes don't care about how much people hate them, but you actually do)

t. victim of botched circumcision

>harming no one
you must be fun at parties

I like my dick and altruism is just a spook.

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I think you're talking only about a specific type of person's altruism. For most, altruism boils down to doing good for others so they will do good for you. It really is as basic as the Bible. We can't get bogged down in particulars, in your specific investigation of a particular type of person's altruism, because it will prevent us from seeing reality.

how the fuck is my dick stuck to the track?

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I actually have an intact dick, if you wanna see it faggot

Most intelligent post ITT. This man is a turboautist.

>muslim train driver runs you over, reverses, sets the points and runs over the other cunts

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>realize what is happening
>pretend to faint
>???
>profit

>train
>reverse

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therefore a specific example / test will be insufficient, because it will only attract altruists like the ones I described in ()
or depressed people like (, , )

If you're talking about basic morality or morality like that of the Holy Bible, you would act on your morals, rather than by the idea of what people would think of you based on what decision you'd make.
As you can see from the reactions in this thread so far, people respond to OP's question based on what others would consider them to be / what others would think of them on the basis of their choice, rather than referring to their own moral code. This is what happens when you try to find out if people are altruistic by giving them a (Super Specific Situation) SSS trap to reply to. This is unrealistic as pointed out.

Just like you said, looking at altruism itself prevents us from seeing reality. That's why OP's Research Question / hypothesis is faulty and would not survive academic peer review.

>trains cant reverse

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You can actually do this, but it would just take a while.

>dying to save others is a bad thing
I would die to protect Israel.

We all would, it's the right thing to do after the 6 trillion

I was being unironic. I'm Jewish so of course I would die for my own people.

of course

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based

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I'm fucking embarrassed of you guys

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no one fucking cares

Monty Hall Problem is a degenerate yankee goyim interpretation of Bertrand's box paradox.

Nah. It's too theoretical for me, I'm more focused on applied real world problems.

it's not an interpretation it's the exact same thing , the box thing is like a more baintlet-friendly version

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diaspora jews are the gayest. you little manlets wouldnt survive one day in the IDF

the sum of all integers being -1/12 is pretty real world my senpai

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> rails forming a menhora
(((You)))

why you looking for menorahs everywhere

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How does the train go straight down those tracks without going over the side rail?

At this point in life, I would lay on the track as I pull the lever.

Im converting to Islam just so you know kike. Im going to blow myself up right in front of your house.

im fine with that just make sure you're at a safe distance so you dont hurt anyone else

I legitimately feel sad about the thought of immunity animals coming to harm.

I'm not totally sure what you mean by side rail, but just out of frame of the picture i posted, if you were to go straight down the track just up ahead where the rails merge, there's a special piece of metal shaped like an X called a 'frog' that is around an inch lower, it allows the wheels of the train to roll over each piece of rail while still staying on track

>pic related, a frog

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Since my dick can produce more humans then there are currently on the rail it is a simple math equation. 100 lifes (the number of woman i plan to impregnate) are more important than 35 lifes. So they die and my dick stays unharmed. My sacrifice is that i have to spend most of my life having sex with hundreds woman that i first need to convince to have sex with me. That is quit a lot of work. So i would expect to get paid for saving my dong.

they could just extract the semen from your balls and use it to artificially inseminate women while sparing the people on the rail at the expense of your dick

C5

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no
think about it senpai
how many you got senpai , also i think if you got any on an SSD\on your RAM they'll protect you

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no, i'm Objective

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I would save my dick then I would duck the holes of the exposed internal aortas and espohagoseds and brontoliones inside all the people sliced up by Toby the steam tram

Let the train run over them and the pull the rod out of the switch and beat the last guy with it until his brain starts leaking out his ear

I'd kill everybody to save my dick. I don't care if you guys think that's terrible of me.

>Consumer of post-modern philosophy can mem-

In this case the obviously correct answer is to switch the trolley to the open door that guarantees five splatters.

Why take a chance sticking to your current door when there is a sure thing?

i would need to get rid of the witness, you're right
inaction is illegal in many U.S. states
hearty kek

>STUCK in the track
I'm in danger too and thus I cannot be faulted for focusing on trying to free myself rather than playing Superman with real lives. If it was one guy and a bunch of others all tied up then we got something to work with but if I'M the one in trouble I'm getting out first. I didn't put those 28 people on the tracks, yeah if I caused them to be there I would pull the lever and get my dick ran over but if it's not even my fault then what the fuck?

What if I do it, then another fucker train comes and runs over them too? Fuck off

the only problem with 1+1 being infinite people is that you will necesarily need to be part of that. Otherwise it would be finite.

So go with the bottom track even if it is nowhere near as efficient