Hey faggots
I just got accepted to work for Homeland Security.
I absolutely hate niggers and jews and I'm fully aware of the agenda to destroy the white race. My long years of shitposting here now pose a threat to my possible recruitment.
How fucked am I?
>recruiter interview time!
>We took a look over your internet usage history, sir...
>It seems you have a violent hatred of black people, jews, feminists, communists and muslims.
Give it to me straight lads, how fucked am I?
>things that never happened
Don't you have to get a background check before an interview? If you passed that you'll not be in any trouble. Besides, everything on Jow Forums is fiction or ironic, only an absolute moron would take what was written here seriously.
can't you work for ICE?
Yes, gaslight more kike.
reported to the department of high schools
You'll soon receive a medal of commendation from the fuher.
Yes, first we get trump elected, then we cause the left to spin themselves into open sedition, then we repurpose the FEMA camps into internment camps and then we stop sending them food and water.
Totally a joke
This obviously didn't happen but if it did you would just get some generic email saying something to the effect of:
>Thank you for applying for the (insert job here) position. At this time, we have chosen another candidate that closely fits the needs of our organization. We appreciate your interest in working with Homeland Security, and encourage you to apply with us as other positions that fit your unique qualifications become available.
And that would be that.
Jow Forums is a board of peace.
>background investigation
>did you post all of these under the name "Anonymous"?
>no it must have been someone else
You're fine
I have a super squeaky clean background, aside from my rampant shitposting here.
I'm not some shitskin subhuman asshole / foreigner with a chip on his shoulder. I'm a good guy with no criminal record / no vehicle record, don't drink drugs whatever. Legit pristine background, aside from being woke af from being here for ten years.
I plan on eventually moving to ICE when I get a chance so I can kick as many mexicanos is the face before I throw them over the wall with a noose around their neck.
>I just got accepted to work for Homeland Security.
corrupt it from the inside out user
get position of power then hire in more "like minded" persons thats how the lefties do it
What kind of a bitch bigger doesn't drink drugs?
An hero time for me. Nigger=bigger was the final straw.
Discrimination is illegal :)
Trump doesn't drink.
you should have went for cia
They might actually looking for people like you user. This is probably a new Trump standard. Im sure NSA has already put in a good word for you.
Good luck and make us all proud user.
If they see it, tell them it was research. But if you didn't cover your tracks, you are a dumb shit anyway.
I don;t think they're gonna check your Jow Forums posting history
You might get a lie detector test
godspeed user
So your saying Kek isnt real right? Y..yea i didnt think he was real either..heh..
>I just got accepted to work for Homeland Security.
>still need background check and interviews
Pick one
ive been under their umbrella since Jow Forums began, odd that DHS and Jow Forums are the same age
If they dont hire you immediately exactly because of all those things then the agency isnt doing its job and its pointless working for it.
Honestly all you would have to do is delete your social media pages and you should be good.
so why the fuck are u scared like a lil bitch ass nigga
those damn chicanos will run you down cuz ur a limp wristed pussy
Your the man on the inside now, OP. Don't fuck this up.
Funfact: a lot of people who works for the NSA/DHS fucking hates hajjis, niggers and spics. You will fit right in here, trust me. Just hide your powerlvls until you start partnering up. Don't fucking spout stupid shit during the orientation.
Enjoy your black female micromanaging boss who is utterly incompetent
"They'll find the dumb shit you did on anonymous and semi-anonymous web forums" meme is a meme.
Like, 90% of enlisted military dudes with TSC analyst jobs are brony faggot trannies.
black female bosses are based
you can legit just slack off and do close to 0 work other then showing up
plus they almost always have sweets
I have a black female boss and I 100% agree with this.
I have 2 black female bosses and they are both micromanagers and incompetent.
just assume they didnt see your internet history
Only niggers work for DHS. They hired all the niggers that used to work at shopping mall food courts after the malls were closed down because of,....you guessed it, NIGGERS
and?
figure out how to get on their good side
play the game you dolt
black people are inherently biased and will always show favoritism
Been in your shoes user, the worst part is the lie detector test, because they are going to ask about your views.
Godspeed, faggot.
if you use https instead of http to connect to Jow Forums you will be fine
the s stands for secret connection that the internet people cant hack into
>Settings
>Clear history
Literally clear Jow Forums and nothing else.
lol
>! - NOT SECURE
Guess I'm fucked? jk I don't really care
I'm an excellent liar, though I don't do it if I don't have to. The gore on this board and /gif/ has made ice cold. I plan on telling them I'm a centrist, with a conservative bias and I fucking love our president, the last part being the truth. In reality I'm hard core right wing 1488 gas the jews race war now.
There's alot of truth to this, but the screening process is pretty heavy. My only concern is I'm going to get some faggot hyper liberal mentallly ill fuck to interview me and I may not be able to contain my disgust.
You will get the job and become the molebro of /pol ... Tha's breddy cozy senpai. Godspeed man!
This! We do it for the lulz
Just keep your social media clean.
Dude they go through 99% of every aspect of your life.
Before and after you're hired on.
Dated a HS hapa for a year.
They dig deep.
Also keep tabs on everything you do after.
On top of that a few years after a grill I've had numerous flings with got on with the FBI.
Same deal there.
Can't even have a phone they're not aware of or any device that can connect to the net.
Flew out to spend 2 weeks with her and was flat out told not to fuck around and shitpost here on her wifi.
>I plan on eventually moving to ICE when I get a chance so I can kick as many mexicanos is the face before I throw them over the wall with a noose around their neck.
Should not have posted this. Everything before the interview was irony. This is a statement of intent that can be reasonably construed as ideological bias and racist bias.
Be careful user, lets hope the background check does not include shitposts
I had a black female boss. She used to make me fug her in my office coz I was a cute goy. I waz seksuhally molested!
100% not true at all
I post via proxy and I'm behind 15 firewalls my dude. I'm actually not afraid they'll hire me at all, since I have a ton of related work experience. I just wanted my homies to to know DHS has their back with me onboard.
this, no sense in tipping you off if a raid is coming or you're being watched
They aren’t going to look at your shit posts. They’ll look at kike book, Twitter, Instagram, pretty much any social media that has an app. If you keep those clean you’re fine
They’re not going to look into your Jow Forums posts, they necessarily can’t. They’ll look at shit you’ve actually done. Jobs, volunteer work, schooling, et cetera.