Calling all history autists: whats your favorite historic battle and why?

Great grandfather was wounded in that one.

Battle of Blood River.

How did he do it? I imagine even with armor and fighting expertise, the endless amount of thousands of enemies would wear you down

lost one ancestor (brother of great-grandpa) in WW1
lost none in WW2

What the fuck. It's crazy how many people die over things like this.

wherever this picture was taken in ww1

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I LIKE ALL THE BIG BATTLES

>lost none in WW2
How?

Battle of Salamis. It's super underrated, and that dogshit 300 sequel didn't do it justice.

Honestly all the Greco-Persian wars are fucking hilarious though, Xerxes had some minimum wage generals.

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Ww1 was a meatgrinder early on. Fuckers didn't understand machinegun fire

Got lots, I’m British.

does starcraft:broodwar count?

Hmmm... is that the one we’re German tanks were deployed? Pic related.

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Luck
one great grandmother survived Stalingrad and got captured in Italy and went in french POW camp
Great grandmother survived the hell of Dresden

Battle of Alesia. High kick-ass ratio.

Hard question really. Since the most obvious one are gonna be mentioned anyways ,here's a battle that i think deserves attention.

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Brennos IIs invasion of Greece
Greek king murders celtic druids sent to parlay and gets massacred by 80 000 enraged fuckers

The Conquest of Tenochtitlan. It included a running urban battle out of a floating city against impossible odds over catwalks suspended above the water. One of Cortez' lieutenants polevaulted a gap between them with a pike at one point during the fighting.

In the battles that followed very shortly after, the Spanish used cavalry charges against the Aztecs, who up until that point were not aware that horses could even run. The results were basically what you'd expect.

The fact that the destruction of the Aztec Empire isn't taught to every school aged child in glorious detail over several months is a travesty. I plan to homeschool my kids and fix this.

The Siege of Baghdad
youtu.be/XJqk8-GWBkU

Battle of Hefei.

great grandpa was in WW1 and later in the Volkssturm in WW2
He said about WW1 :
When you attack (going into no-mans land), dig yourself deep into the ground/mud

That's because there's literally no way of phrasing it that makes the Aztecs look good. Even the other natives were on Cortez's side, because surprise surprise, being put to work in a gold mine beats the fuck out of having your heart carved out on an alter.

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The battle of Helm's Deep

WW1 tanks were a joke
more got knocked out due malfunction/mud than through battle

The real last samurai battle.

Battle of Shiroyama

>completely out numbered
>you’re most loyal men riding with you to the very end
>fighting in an ever changing world and standing up for your beliefs and principles

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Battle_of_the_Marne imagine loosing more that 500.000 men diying in seven days.

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Battle of Hastings. It was just so basic and slow-paced for such a prize

The Battle of Suiyang
20,000-30,000 civilians were eaten by besieged soldiers

>Battle of the Teutoburg Forest

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You are retarded

Through European genius.
>They had some sort of meeting planned with the emperor and asked for the emperor to disarm his army so they could meet.
>Spanish were pretending they were going to give tribute to the Emperor.
>Spaniards were shit scared the night before and prayed together.
>Incan emperor acting all top shit with the spanish, he refuses to submit to Christ, claims he himself is a God or some shit. Christian priest gives Spanish the all clear.
>Spanish massacre 10k unarmed incans and imprison emperor

I was reading about this one
>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Allia
and this made me audibly kek

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Tours

That would be the scariest shit ever. I've heard accounts of guys scrambling for cover and ending up in enemy trenches and not even knowing it for hours.

Battle of Stamford Bridge

Im a big Tostig fan

>Manlius
I know what I'm naming my firstborn son now.

gotta be either the Battle of Tours or the Battle of Adrianople where Roman fuccbois were btfo by the Visigoths

Waterloo. But the whole Napoleonic age was pure kino

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Either this:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Battle_of_Kharkov
or this:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Tannenberg_Line
My great grandpa actually fought in the latter one.

who thought this would be a good idea? i wanna see the line of thought that lead to that conclusion

pic rel

Going out of the trench in WW1 is the last thing I want to experience

Imagine going through a field of mud, barred wire and engaing machine gun fire without any bullet proofed vests
youtube.com/watch?v=4zBQGY_p4QM

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THIS !

HEAVENLY ..
In that gunpowders FULL FOG he outwitted those Top firing Frogs

>roman casualties: probably 6 to 10.000
Holy shit, it's like when you are behind in decryption tech in HoI4 and then go to look at the enemy and he suddenly has 14 to 1200 divisions.

>All these mentions of relatives fighting in these battles
>I come from a long line of draft dodgers and peace loving hippies
>Last ancestor who fought in a war fought for the goddam British in the revolutionary war

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The greatest battle in history will take place during our lifetimes, OP, so don't sweat it

The defense of the Pons Sublicius
>Then out spake brave Horatius,The Captain of the Gate: "To every man upon this earth Death cometh soon or late. And how can man die better Than facing fearful odds, For the ashes of his fathers, And the temples of his Gods.

The siege of Jerusalum, because fuck Kikes.

>The Somme
Wasn't the British Army still grouping people from the same general area in the same combat units at that point?

(OP)
Brusilov Offensive was great, shattered the belief in the russian army that the german war machine is undefeatable.

Jerusalem*

I hope we never have to do that shit again... looks like a good movie ill have to check it out

Battle of Trafalgar.

Because it was a deceive victory against all odds and Nelson was awesome.

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The Battle of Salamis. We wouldn't have Western Civilization without the Greek Victory there.

Battle off Samar
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_off_Samar

The underdog wins through sheer bravery, determination and zeal. The side with overwhelming man/material advantage loses due to poor tactical control and fear.

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check out Generaton war (Unsere Mütter, unsere Väter)
Best war movie from the german perspective
youtube.com/watch?v=Dk0TOTouApg

Something like WW1 will not happen again, because manpower is way more valueable today

1879, during the Anglo-Zulu War. It depicts 150 British soldiers, many of whom were sick and wounded patients in a field hospital, who successfully held off a force of 4,000 Zulu warriors.

youtube.com/watch?v=1csr0dxalpI

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He had help from other tribes.

Rhodesia easily the best

caesar's defeat of the nervii and their allies was a pretty good one.

I don’t think they were doing that at somme, I do know they were bleeding men like crazy and just start sending untrained soliders in to die there. Also can’t remember if they realized yet that you have to rotate troops on the front lines so they don’t lose their minds. The German drumroll artillery made men lose their fucking minds and go into psychosis

>Brennus' face

Ey up put kettle on

I know I'm supposed to sound worldly and say "the battle of Thermopylae" or some shit like that, but I'm going to say the Battle of Gettysburg. Why?

1. Its documented enough to know practically everything about, with a ton of detail.

2. It was one of those accidental battles that turned into a total slug-fest.

3. At the time it was fought, both sides knew it was going to determine the war, and therefore history.

4. It was the match-up that everyone was waiting years for.

5. It had all of the heroics and horror, luck (bad and good) that a great battle requires. Whether it's Chamberlain saving the day, or the so brave but so stupid Pickett's charge, those three days could keep historians busy for a lifetime.

youtube.com/watch?v=rblfKREj50o

What a load of bullshit! They went at walking pace because they weren't trained in fire and manoeuvre and carrying a lot of weight by necessity.

Fucking commie revisionists

>Best war movie from the german perspective
I've had a real hard time finding anything like that so thank you very much sir

The capture of Vicksburg at the very same time was arguably more important.

BRUH LOOK AT THIS DOOD

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I always found the Battle of Isandlwana fascinating, although the Brits were outnumbered, I still believe with adequate leadership and planning they could of totally hold back the Zulu zerg rush.

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Something like ww1 will never happen again because nobody had any idea what was happening in the beginning of the war and how technology changed absolutely everything overnight

Anyone not saying the battle of Vienna is 100% a brainlet ignorant of European history.

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Siege of Diu, were the capitain said he´d win because he had balls bigger than the bombs from the turk cannons and because of a soldier than ran out of bullets so he started using is own teeths as ammo

>Most honored captain Pasha. I have seen the words in your letter, and that of the captain which you have imprisoned through lie and betrayal of your word, signed under your name; which you have done because you are no man, for you have no balls, you are like a lying woman and a fool. How do you intend to pact with me, if you committed betrayal and falsity right before my eyes? For I take you in no account, for you are a traitor like a Jew. When I saw your armada, I feared you could do me harm; but now I am assured, for like a Jew you lie, so did those who took Rhodes and Belgrade, because they were scared of battle; and if at Rhodes were the knights that are in this pen, it would not have been taken. Be assured that here are Portuguese accustomed to killing many moors, and they have as captain António da Silveira, who has a pair of balls stronger than the cannonballs of your basilisks, that there's no reason to fear someone who has no balls, no honor and lies like a Jew. The pen before you has such cattle that already you are scared and arranging a pact to betray; such pact, should I accept it, these knights would throw me at sea, and defend it themselves.

>—Captain António da Silveira

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>YWN fight the Spanish Armada with Lord Nelson aboard HMS Pickle.

And not to denigrate the battle, but the French and especially Spanish fleets were manned mostly by untrained conscript sailors incapable of sailing or gunnery while the British were lifelong sailors for the most part.

>one wounded
Kills my sides every single time

Which one? If you mean the final one it came down to the Turks overextending and bad weather, not the Polish contingent.

True. Just like when you come down to it, Sherman's southern campaign may have been more important in the long run (in terms of breaking the southern will to fight).

But in terms of grand events, desperate struggles, with history hanging in the air all around, I'd still have to go with Gettysburg.

I'm with you on the whole spectacle of Gettysburg. Easily the most dramatic action of the war

Battle of Gaugamela.
Had Alexander succeded in killing Darius, it would had been top battle aesthetics.
The king of a rising empire personally killing the king of the biggest empire in battle.

Navas de Tolosa.

Cartagena de Indias
>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Cartagena_de_Indias

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The battle of Krasny Vor, 2,000 spaniards fought and won to a bigger and better equip of 44,000 soviets with tanks.

If you're into that sort of thing, make a point of visiting Gettysburg around sunset. You get the most spectacular and creepy feeling looking over the battlefield at that time of day.

He had way more than 300 men

Pleb Tier Roman battle, but it is one of my major arguments why Roman Empire was overrated.

If you like teutoberg , check out adrianople

Holy shit, literally archers should have done a job, or Guerilla warfare

Kek. He stubbed his toe and caught a Charly horse in his leg chasing down prisoners

>Something like ww1 will never happen again because nobody had any idea what was happening in the beginning of the war and how technology changed absolutely everything overnight
Except that is literally what will happen in the next world war. Skirmishes in shitskin areas don't count as war. Nobody knows what the fuck or how the fuck a war would play out between actual military powers such as NATO, Russia, China and a few others. All that we should know is that it will be the largest meatgrinder in history when it comes about.

I absolutely love this battle.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raid_on_the_Medway

The Dutch, under nominal command of Willem Joseph van Ghent and Lieutenant-Admiral Michiel de Ruyter, over several days bombarded and captured the town of Sheerness, sailed up the Thames estuary to Gravesend, then sailed into the River Medway to Chatham and Gillingham, where they engaged fortifications with cannon fire, burned or captured three capital ships and ten more ships of the line, and captured and towed away the flagship of the English fleet, HMS Royal Charles.

Politically, the raid was disastrous for King Charles' war plans[1] and led to a quick end to the war and a favourable peace for the Dutch. It was one of the worst defeats in the Royal Navy's history,[1] and one of the worst suffered by the British military.[6] Horace George Franks called it the "most serious defeat it has ever had in its home waters."[

I really dont believe such a thing is ever going to happen. Plus it would develop into a nuclear engagement pretty fast.

so it would end pretty fast too then right?