My boss wants to send me on a business trip to New York City and I have been trying to make excuses to avoid going but...

Cool blog post maple nigger

don't get drunk and walk around the streets in a suit at night.
wear a watch that you don't mind getting stolen
avoid sexual interactions with canines.

Go for dinner at one of the five star restaurants along Sutter Ave in Brooklyn

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don’t forget to tip

You're Chinese you'll fit in just fine in Jew York.

>I don't want to get shot and die.
You'll be fine leaf. Just stay away from the poor neighborhoods and the blacks. Don't wear expensive articles of clothing or accessories. Don't take the subway, it smells like piss and you'll be locked underground with Americans. Think about that and take a taxi instead.

Enjoy dying faggot, Jew capitol will drain your soul then kill you

Jesus Christ you Canadians are pathetic. How can you be the descendants of men who conquered the wilds of North America?

Oh wait, you’re probably a dicklet chink.

Don't take the A train that stops short of JFK and do not wear a M-65 fieldjacket with workboots anywhere in Manhattan.

don't look an american too long into the eyes or else :
>in case of negro : they rob and rape you, and then try to rob you again
>in case of chink : ask you for job
>in case of hispanic : try to work for you for under 2 dollars an hour
>in case of whuite : tell you about their european ancestors and how they are just the best of the world

NYC user here. You'll be fine, come and witness for yourself the stench of shit in the air, the rampant degeneracy, and the abject demoralized hopelessness of our city's inhabitants. When you return home, teach your own to take heed, lest you become us.

this is good advice for every city in america.

There is a large Chinatown in NYC where you can probably blend in.

Tell customs that you are being sent against your will and that you have no other choice but to come to the united states of trump. They willtake care of you i promise

new york is one of the safe cities

Change chink to tries to hustle you some shit trinket and youre on point mate. I take it youve visited?

The wilds of North America don't pull out a gun because you tried to banter with them.

Just start lifting five years ago and nobody will bother you

NYC is no worse than Toronto or Vancouver. Hotels are generally clean and safe, apps like Uber help you get around and Visa eliminates any currency issues. Leafs live in America-lite, full-hog Burgerland isn’t that different.

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Some pertinent advice: upon landing in the blighted southern wastes, you will immediately be greeted by the sight of the corpulent Sassy Airport Negress. She could be working the ticket counter, or maybe you need change for a payphone, in which case she'll force you to buy something at her shitty convenience stand. This creature's duty is but one: to complicate your journey. Do not make eye contact or bare your teeth in a friendly Canadian smile, as this is considered a challenge, and may prompt the silverback into charging and beating you into the ground with a frenzied pounding of fists.

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Stay home
We’ll be looking for you now
Trust me we know Canadians when we see one

Safer than Detroit, Chicago, and St. Louis. That's not saying much.

Bulletproof vest and a .45 ACP rifle with extended mag. unless you can get that, YOUR FUCKED!!!!!!.

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NYC is a fucking shithole. I lived there for almost two decades, its fucking trash. The ugliest, dirtiest, most overflowing with disgusting bio-mass hive this side of the country. Full of retards, degenerates, literal madmen, drug addicted fiends, and a police force that will punish you if you dare defend yourself against such deviants, should the need arise. This applies to all the boroughs of course. Some are a little better than others though, in places. But I’m assuming you’re going to Manhattan, if it’s business related. Enjoy your stay!

Don't go. Break a limb or intentionally catch a disease if you have to. NYC must be avoided at all costs. The air smells of feces and a loaf of bread costs $5. You will get shot by Jamal if you're lucky, or the NYPD will accidentally shoot you.

They’re waiting
Good luck Can Famalam

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ny is a bit like france full of arrogant assholes that think their shit doesnt smell.
So you be ok because everything is soo non personal.

This is true. Can confirm

Contrary to what you’ve heard, black people like being called nigger. They think it’s funny, and will laugh out loud with you. You’ll make lots of new friends this way.

It is far better than I expected. In fact, it’s the only good large city I have been to in the Western Hemisphere. It knocks the spots off London.

Enjoy it. I did.

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Just bring lots of weed lmafo

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A boot

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Bring a hockey stick, the range is so you don't get poop on your person.

never relax

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Nigger American here, can confirm, we love being called nigger.

Don’t relax, around blacks

Stay off the streets at night so you don't get killed.

This but unironically. Especially if you're going to New York. The Yankees dont train their niggers like the south does, it's a mess.

dont use the subway, dont walk the streets

Sorry leaf, I wish i could help, but you're as good as dead. Better make your amends now.

>Brown or black, watch your back.
>Unless Pajeet, then watch your feet
>Those brown boys shit in the street
a nursery rhyme my grandma used to read us

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Let me know when you're going to be there so I can drive up and shoot you OP. I'll turn you into a good Canadian.

Get a load of this Torontofag

I hope you like BBC going in and out of your asshole because that's what you're going to get in NYC!

NY is tourist attraction. It's basically like going to the zoo now. Curated and safe. Most of the animals don't bite and the ones that do are isolated. Times Square used to be a total cesspool of by the minute wankshows and people looking to make a withdrawal using a puerto rican credit card but is safe as shit now.

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Holy shit this thread is pathetic. I know NYC seems big and scary because meanie New Yorkers don’t smile and say hi to every fuck on the street, but I didn’t know outsiders were such massive pussies. You’ll never make it.

as we can see in this post new york natives take some kind of perverse pride in how emotionally cold they are, it's the oddest thing

You wouldn't banter with an animal, why would you banter with a nigger?

NYC is actually pretty safe and filled with normies these days. Hell's Kitchen ain't what it used to be,

It's illegal to fuck dogs here you degenerate chink.

You won’t get shot if you mind your own business and don’t walk around like a flashy ass joke waving cash and jewelry in everyones face. I live in a major city it’s not that dangerous. Be thankful he’s not sending you to some project in Chicago.
Also I go to NY a few times a year for work, I enjoy it, great atmosphere for socializing, although I’m not so sure how a leaf would socialize with Americans

Dude my band recorded near Flint when I was in my early twenties. My bus dropped me in Pontiac and I waited there for 5 hours to get picked up, right on 9 mile. There were niggers everywhere, and this one talking to me who was clearly retarded was bragging about fucking his cousin. I survived, and so will you.

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Just avoid all niggers. That's it. That's the only trick to being just as safe as you are right now in Canada.

>How can you be the descendants of men who conquered the wilds of North America?

They are not tho, they are descendant of British cuck that fled their country when they lost their war.

pic related conquered the North

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Yeah, Just get grubhub app and order food and stay in hotel room.

In NYC? To be safe you should be rich, famous or armed...

> grubhub app
Oh yeah he's not going to survive.

F

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Stick to Manhattan, its its own mini version of bongland. Theres niggers pushing cds and tickets but nothing deadly cause theyres a cop every 2 feet.

just be stupid and you will blend in