My boss wants to send me on a business trip to Houston and I have been trying to make excuses to avoid going but it now...

My boss wants to send me on a business trip to Houston and I have been trying to make excuses to avoid going but it now looks like I have no other choice. I am absolutely fucking terrified because I have never been to the US before. I don't want to get shot and die. Has anyone got tips on how to survive in Trumpland for a week?

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RIP Op

Leaf, you think we let Syrup Niggers get out of here alive?

Kiss your dog goodbye before you leave.

It is the first time I made this thread .. Lay off the cheeseburgers, the insulin rush is messing with your head.

Get rekt by daquan leaf

Go eat at House of Pies, it's pretty good.
Or breakfast at Asiel's down in Clute if you're going that way.
Stay out of the left lane if you're not going to go above 80.
Sage for non-politics related thread.

LMAO leaf terrified of Houston

Last week it was Atlanta

SAGE

>It is the first time I made this thread today

Your lack of conjunctions outs you as a chink Mr. Chang

I wish you good fortune in your endeavors to conquer the icy wilds of Canadia.

Please stay out of my country and state.

You're fucked dude... omg.

Carry atleast:

>lighter, zippo
>powerful flashlight
>a pack of smokes or some small bottle of booze
>first aid kit
>survival booklet
>1 pistol, 9mm atleast for CQC
>1 shotgun
>1 assault rifle
>carry a few magazines for each weapon
>a good sharpened knife
>some rope
>a safety vest
>some pain killers
>a few ounces of silver and a few grams of gold
>cash
>atleast 3 creditcards
>a pen
>an all weather watch

Seriously. I've seen pictures of daily stuff people carry in the US... this ain't a joke boy.

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Hoo boy. The programming is strong with this NPC.

How about kill yourself before you get here and stop these shitty slide threads

>pasta
>different city

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This is a slide thread, children. The other day he posted the same thing but said he was going to NYC.

You can always kys. That is the most viable solution for you, leaf.

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Should have taken the Minneapolis job. Houston and texans in general are filthy and they don't flush toilet paper. It sits in garbage can next to the toilet

Minneapolis was your best bet.

Jow Forums doesn't actually leave their house with those. thats why its all pics of them on tables or floors
and when they do they eat cum brownies

Go to the Montrose. You'll feel right at home.

Shut up you fucking pussy.

>Houston
>US
I think you mean Mexico.

Its just a shittier version of Canada. You'll be fine.

>Houston
Don't worry, you'll drown first

we dont take kindly to canadians down here
good luck.

Yeah. Stop being an absolute fucking retard and go enjoy yourself. Jesus Christ. It's fun there. Try not to make us look like shitheads, you backwater hick.

Relax just stay away from black neighborhoods. You'll be in the business and tourist districts which are nice even in Chicago. Nothing to worry about leaf fren.

You won't die, but given how shitty Houston is, you'll wish you had.

>t. Texasfag

F

you're fucked, leaf. i'd just quit the job.

Back in grad school I had a number of colleagues from other countries who all thought they were going to get their shit pushed in. They all said the same thing 6 months later:

"I thought it was going to be like old westerns, but it's actually safer than back home."

Stay away from niggers and you'll be fine. Don't drive tho.

No one would waste 40 cents on a bullet to shoot a leaf

Berta leaf here, I am in Corpus, Houston, Dallas on the regular.

Saving up and waiting for the crash, thats where I will be going

R

Kill your boss and his entire family so you do not have to go.

>Houston and texans in general are filthy and they don't flush toilet paper. It sits in garbage can next to the toilet

That is exclusively a habit of mexicans and south americans. They cant flush toilet paper as it will mess up their plumbing for years.

Burta here, what job do you do and how could I get one?

Pls

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>Your lack of conjunctions outs you as a chink Mr. Chang
>I wish you good fortune in your endeavors to conquer the icy wilds of Canadia.
>Please stay out of my country and state.
not's a's single conjunction in your post either's, chink nigger

learn spanish
i never would/will and neither will my children but i dont live in fagget fuck shithole texas

user when you land, immediately hit up the loud black guy outside the terminal.
You'll see him, tell him icy boof sent you.
He will make some calls and in a few minutes you will have a dozen of pic related escorting you around the city, all you need to do is provide them with blunt wraps and hot cheetos.

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Try to insert your ENTIRE boss up inside your ass. He will be too constrained and not be able to force you to go, once he is all up in there.

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Just a warning Houston is pretty trash imo, the globalists would love a city like it, bland, multiracial etc, a lot of Mexicans there too btw. Also there’s nothing bad about America don’t be a pussy leaf.

why do you lie so much. this is the 10th thread you've made like this and it's always a different city.

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