ARMY STORIES

Post ‘em. Stories about kickin ass in the U.S. Army.

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>inb4 jarheads mention goat rape

That would be nice. I’ve seen the grainy footage on liveleak. Now I need the greentext.
>then this fuckin raghead starts fuckin the goat
>mfw

>sandnigs rocket COB
>rocket hits middle of fuckall
>sign up sheet for CIB on latrine door has over 100 names
cuck badge

shit... CAB. CIB bros get respect.

fact: 1 in 5 Iraqis carry a thumb drive overflowing with bestiality porn

I was stationed in the toybox from 2003-2007 when the shit really hit the fan. Our CO was a real hard ass. He was an old world war 1 vet. He was always yelling shit like "SADDLE UP BOYS" or "LET'S GIVE EM HELL BOYS"! he was a real ball buster . His name was Jack Howards. His nickname was Old Ironsides

this guy would charge Taliban positions on his fuckin' horse. He'd say "LET'S GIVE EM HELL BOYS" and I kid you not, he single highhandedly took out that Taliban mortar team. My friend Eddie Leobitwz from Brooklyn looked at me and just said "HOLY MOLY THAT OLD IRONSIDES IS A REAL HERO"

Walked around in the woods a lot.

Based!

Always remember to buy kosher goyim

jarheads are marines, dumbass

Should a fatty fatty 2x4 even bother waddling to the recruitment office?

Was wondering if anyone would notice that's the badge for non infantry.

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based mutts , enlist in the army today

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What is that badge?

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I killed some sandniggers once, wasn't in the army or anything but they were stinking up the place so I shot em.

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there is literally nothing wrong with wanting to shoot people

DAY OF THE RAKE

Why does every one of those guys look russian?

>squad
what map is that, faggot?

I hit an afghani with an RG33 once in Asadabad. He didn't get the fuck out of the way quick enough.

Oh and I saw a Russian cargo plane hit a mountain while flying into Bagram in 2011. Huge ass explosion.

>graduate 2005
>tell people the war is stupid and are not the people who attacked us on 9/11
>they say boomer tier shit why we got to fight them because they hate our freedumbs
>never join the military

thats my story

To be fair have you ever had in n out?

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Cock and balls lol

mental history along with criminal record so they wouldn't let me join. still wanna kill myself when i think about it

>be me
>me and a buddy join the army
>go to boot camp
>so miserable I almost go AWOL
>our DI get injured
>platoon completes basic training without him and impress the general
>hand picked for top secret assignment
>drive a classified motor home into East Germany
>everyone get captured
>DI saves us from the Commies
>very good times

inb4 Uncle Sam's tit sucker

Good times. Enlisted as a 35F back in 2008 and got out in 2014.

When you're in all you wanna do is get out and go home. But when you're home all you wanna do is go back in.

Totally dominated the floor buffer in the barracks. Floor was s shiny, you could look up the skirts of the tranny platoon.

GUYS THIS IS REAL OLD IRONSIDES HORSE FLEW OVER MY HOUSE

They were in Iranian waters because they fucked up. It's a small troop transport ship with a few crew served weapons and that's its. Both of them were. Turning yourself over in that case and saying "my bad" is preferential to starting a war over some bad navigation.

we probably know eachother

got kicked out on penis inspection day