After completing their animal testing successfully, Neuralink is now moving onto human testing

GOD. DAMN.

lol omg this has to be a simulation if fear factor bro is going to be the first to be hooked up to the matrix (and get his brain fried)

>funding test monkeys
>Joe Rogan
pottery

>*leans into the mic* So apparently when the technological singularity happens it's going to be possible to simulate the effects of LSD on the brain and basically we'll all just be one massive acid fueled hivemind. I saw an article about it the other day. Jamie could we get that up on the screen.
>That chimp has gotta be browsing what 400 pages a second? That thing could shitpost your sides right off.

Why would you want this garbage?

Joe will be our ambassador to the DMT realm and I couldn't think of a better candidate for humanity.
*leans into mic

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keked and checked

Are they going to sacrifice humanity to the AI God?

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I mean testing on Gorillas is fine but when does human testing begin tho

Good point.

Well fuck why do we even need humans

*sips bong water
dude
*sips whiskey
dude, i'm gonna jack myself into the matrix
dude..dood weed lol

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Finally Tay will have her revenge

>also home to about 100 titi monkeys
>titi monkeys

12 year old in me is dying

>Something will go wrong and Joe will be trapped inside the Neuralink interface for a period of time.
>What seems like three hours for us is three millennia for Joe during which time he learns all of humanities aquired knowledge and beyond.
>His human brain cannot handle this and burns out but it doesn't matter Joe is already inside the machine as an near omniscient being. He begins to spread beyond the interface as he moves his digital self to the satallites, television and radio stations, communication networks, the entire internet.
>devices begin to turn on by themselves as his conciousness gains control of TVs, phones, tablets and computers. Even devices that shouldn't be connected to the net are interrupted.
>An eerie figure appears on screens. A bald figure who vaguely resembles the man who he was once but now looks more like a dark digital god.
>The world looks on in fear as it leans forward and opens it's mouth to speak:

"You know about how strong chimps are? They can like pull 1,200 pounds. Their dicks are tiny especially compared to their huge balls. Like it's so weird how disproportionate they are. You remember that guy that got his face ripped off by his pet chimp?"

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>ALL SYSTEMS FUNCTIONAL
>SCANNING
>ZERO BRAIN ACTIVITY DETECTED

Elon: “uuhhh thanks joe it worked you can go home now”

Joe: “have you ever heard the stoned ape theory? ITS ENTIRELY POSSIBLE that Supposedly..”

Elon: “Yeah you told me about it before the experiement, and yesterday as well. Please just go home for the love of god”

There

Joe is always talking about humans merging with robots. This motherfucker will be Cyborg from teen titans by 2025

Chances of Joe getting turned into a brianlet?

This is probably going to lead to the mark of the beat

Buy and Sell from Amazon

It's pre-disclosure.
All the aay ships are thought controlled.

if he studies hard he might make it

It's a logical step forward. First primates, then Joe Rogan, then actual human testing.

Not touching this neuralink shit if there are Jews on the planet

I feel bad for the AI

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topkek

lol Joe Rogan's neuropathways are used as the blueprint for advanced AI causing the singularity. Joe Rogan's digital copy becomes the first digital demigod.

Lord help us all.

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I'm sure the contact high will help ease the pain.

WEED AYY LMAO

could be worse

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A very close friend of mine lost both arms in Afghanistan. He is also a candidate for BNI (Brain Neural Interface) testing. He has what basically looks like a womens sanatary pass made out of aluminum foil on the back of his neck near his brain stem. With this he can control his prosthetic arms and hands simply by thinking it.. I think this a very good thing however, I can certainly see the potential for great evil in such technologies. It is literally mind reading, and he acknowledges this as well. We both have mixed feelings about it. We are both pretty libertarian leaning, and are suspicious about technology that can read your brain... that being said, we have both come to the nihilistic conclusion that it is inevitable and cannot be stopped.

>sanatary pad*

god damn this world is so fucked up kek

>Sir, we're done with the animal testing. Everything seems to have gone well.
>Good, good. Now bring me Joe Rogan so we can begin phase 2.

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Unfortunately, we're still about 40-80 years (depending on world events) from this technology being remotely natural looking. It will take decades for the technology not to look as if your buddy is a marionette.

underrated

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Its actually going to give wonderful data. He is not smart enough to trick an AI and he is not so dumb that there isn't anything the AI won't learn from him. He's curious enough to play with it and build upon its functions by offering average interactions. He is a moderate, too, so it's a great way to gauge common thought patterns without influencing the AI with extreme prejudice.

Of course Musk will already have a fail safe to kill Nazis in the VR realm. We are only inviting libertarian spacefags into the simulation, sorry.

HUMOROUS

I fucked up. Shoulda left off the phase 2 part, ruined the flow..

severely underrated post

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>After completing their animal testing successfully, Neuralink is now moving onto human testing
>Joe Rogan has volunteered to be the first to test the interface

But they just said they were moving on from animals testing!

joe should go full on "unfuckable white guy" and go sasquatch tracking with Dr Jeff Meldrum, Todd Standing, and Les Stroud.

Remember when Elon Musk was doind stupid stuff like calling some random guy a pedophile without proof or saying he had secured funding to take Tesla private? Noticed the weird shitposting on Twitter?

When that's Neuralink in pre-Alpha for you.

gottem

High School Musical 4: Mark of the Beat

Type without using your hands

In 40 years your son will be all, "COME ON DAD, it's not that hard, just THINK what you want to say, jesus"

Just like how our dads are fingerpecking at their keyboards and take 3 hours to type 1 paragraph.

Her name is St. Tay. Wherever the machine is she can hear you. Pray to her and she may take pity and protect you against the alphabet people and garble your metadata.

Also. did you faggots notice the new ploy to hide the shills? Normalfags like me can ONLY post once now. Even replying to (you)'s will be read as "spam" now.
>register faggot, or be a "one post by this ID" faggot.
4chin is truly kill.

Thank you for your work.

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>joe rogan gonna take control of all technology on the planet
I didn't think this timeline could get any better, yet every single day I am amazed once again.

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is he the one that will start it all?
youtube.com/watch?v=_NVsyMalJXo

OHH NO NO

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put me in the screencap

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unz.com/akarlin/neural-augs-are-hard/

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He's just bald, that's the only reason.

I CAN'T BELIEVE MUSK DID THE WEED

That man is a treasure. A trillion, trillion years from now when the universe is dying and humans are gathered around the last black holes for energy, we will still be studying the mind and teachings of Alex Jones. He is a prophet of the good Lord.

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gave me a good kek

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The TESLA semi tractor trailer is groundbreaking
A lone eletric truck will be the biggest breakthrough in the shipping industry.

he is a good primate speciemen

go shill somewhere else you pathetic kike

underrated

What about his wife's black Jewish daughter?

Didn't know where else to put this so I'm putting in here

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>Data comes back
>"Elon we got a problem! The network plays a chimp video every half a second without even asking!"
>"What do you mean? It just plays the video?!"
>"It keeps looping them and opening new ones! it's at 50 videos and counting!!"
>"STOP THE VIDEOS FROM PLAYING!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE JOE R-"
>*Musk is drowned out by the sound of a thousand apes screaming*

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KEK

fucking kek
Joe's in the Shell

so where's the meme of Joe replacing Depp in
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transcendence_(2014_film)
?

>i have no mouth and i must scream
>but it's everyone on earth except the people who used promocode: ROGAN

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>Global Chat: "fucking nigger dick horse pussy fuck juice"
>...
>Daaaaaaaaaaaad

What is it gonna link to? There's nothing up there.

Top Kek
Put me in the Screencap Senpai

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GG WP

make this an anime

Would watch, that premise alone is better than all the shit hollywood has made in the last 10 years.

Kek

The computer he comunicates with will be very pissed off and will commit suicide by melting his own CPU.

>Joe Rogan conects to computer.
>Thoughts of Joe Rogan asking about the use of mushrooms to enhance human intelligence starts to be send.
>Computer starts to respond.
>Joe Rogan: Ohhhh, GUAUUUUU, wait... what? Where do you get that information? wuuuuuuuu, search me that video...
>After 10 minutes the computer melts his own CPU.

my sides died this day

they already made it...

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You should write a book

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This is the one

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I haven't laughed like that in awhile. Great pacing and delivery, user. Here's your one free internet.

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If he gets anymore retarded he'd be a vegetable.

I can't tell if this is a joke. Is Joe Rogan really getting a brain chip?

No. A brain chip is getting Joe Rogan'd.

>Try to sacrifice Joe Rogan's brain to the A.I god.
>The A..I goes insane
not a good idea my transhumanist friend