ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

I am hanging out with this girl, I know her since 4 months, and last week, after the 2nd date, I sent her a message telling her how much I appreciated the date. Basically it's not a great period for me, a lot of stress and bad things in my life, and she kinda is something really positive, brigthening my day. I told her and she answered that I'm giving to her too much importance. I answered back saying that giving too much importance is maybe getting engaged, or finding another job to give her stabilty, and that we are just getting to know each other, that I'm just expressing my toughts about her. She said that the fact that I support her, and I say this sweet things isn't something insignificant, actually the opposite.

I don't know how to read this, I'm scratching my head: is she trying to dump me? maybe she's saying "enough for me".

What exactly happens between making small talk about the weather or whatever and having sex or going on a date?

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If this retelling is indicative of your tone with her too, then you did come off too strong.

While it might sound romantic to you, telling someone that they are the only good thing in your life is too much. And trying to say "It could be crazier" doesn't make it less intense.

It doesn't sound like she is dumping you, but dial it down.

There's no "exactly".It depends on the people involved, where they are, what they want out of this, etc.

There's no guide to landing sex from small talk. Small talk is usually the vehicle to go into something else, but the people involved need to have the "something else" in mind. For example, at a club or bar.

Ok, well I asked her, she also is struggling with some difficulties in her life:

- Not insignificant? you have no idea how many things people do to overcome difficulties together, I just told you some words (honest words), after all. Maybe.. are you trying to tell me to dial it down?

Assume I'm at a bar and I may not have even made the first move. Do I just suggest we go somewhere else?

My ex broke up with me via text on Christmas Eve and it is fucking with my confidence and trust in women. What do?

I'm 22, I've fucked over thirty women in my life, I am doing well at uni, I have lots of friends, and am fairly fit from lifting weights. On the face of it my life is great. I cannot however get over the fact that my ex broke up with me via text. She was the ideal woman in my eyes, in that she had never even kissed somebody else when we met, came from a good Christian household (I'm not religious but I have a thing for people with good values). was compassionate, loving, caring, we loved the same music, got along great, and all those great things. Yet the breakup itself is not what kills me. Having it done via text and her refusal to ever see me in person to give me closure is what messes me up...

She broke up with me because she was going to Europe on exchange and wanted to be "free" and claimed she had not loved me in months...

How skinny is too skinny?

(I'm a guy)

>- Not insignificant? you have no idea how many things people do to overcome difficulties together, I just told you some words (honest words), after all. Maybe.. are you trying to tell me to dial it down?

Is this a quote from yuor reply to her? It's not really clear, sorry.

>Ok, well I asked her, she also is struggling with some difficulties in her life:

Yes, we all deal with difficulties. But do you see how much it weights to think the life of someone is really crappy and you are the thing he uses to push forward? Sure, sound romantic, but at the same time it's an awful responsibility.

And by the way, it's not that attractive to think someone has nothing going for them except your relationship. It doesn't look that good. Unless she is a manipulative bitch thatwould love someone to control, it's not aselling point to see you this way.

And if she is up for fucking in the bathroom? As I aid, there is no "path" to follow. No code words that unlocksex is used in the proper sequence. You need to break out of this mindset and go with the flow.

You're a whore. Nobody wants your used up dick. Your ex wanted somebody more pure than you and the fact you'd stick your dick in any old pussy means she had zero respect for you.

Be a more respectful man and you will be treated with more respect. Don't be surprise if any decent women you find run a mile when they find out how many people you've slept with.

Trust me, I get where you're coming from. I just keep finding myself in scenarios in which a girl and I are into each other, but having no idea what to do about it

*Yawn* Try again, mate. My issue is getting over her. Not finding another "nice" girl to date. I've taken plenty of virginities, had flings with girls that had great upbringings, and all that fun stuff... They just don't feel real or as special to me as my ex did. Hell, I've even fucked girls with boyfriends. It isn't that deep.

anything below 1/2/3/4 but still less than 10% bf

You'll get over it by accepting that you fucked up possibly the best thing you're going to get with your background, then learn from it.

Nothing can force you to get over heartbreak quicker, just time.

>1/2/3/4
Explain.

Why do you believe that I was the issue or that a singular relationship was the best thing that will ever happen to me? I understand I am unlikely to ever meet another girl who has never kissed somebody before but I also understand that would be as unlikely if I had never been with anybody before.

Communicate. Talk, try. Let me flip this on you for a second:

How do you hang out with friends? Imagine I meet someone on class, what do I do? Do I invite them to my place to watch a movie? Do I invite them to a museum? Do I ask them if they'd like to play boardgames?

As you can see, there are plenty of ways to "hang out". In a vaccum, you can't give me advise. Same with your question right now. We really can't say what you want to hear. At leasnt not without lying to you or talking out of our asses.

> I just keep finding myself in scenarios in which a girl and I are into each other, but having no idea what to do about it

Next time, try something. Anything (respectful, of course. Don't whip out your dick while dancing please). And see how it goes. See if you read the situation right. Learn to comunicate.

Because you've cycled through 30 women in your short time on this earth - it implies you're either into fwb relationships, or the women you're choosing to sleep with don't want a relationship with you long term.

Either way, it doesn't sound like your relationships have been healthy, but this girl seems to have offered you something different (just because of how you're struggling to get over it).

I don't know you and I'm going by a few posts on an anonymous forum - I could easily be wrong here.

A bit of both in all honesty... I could hardly speak to girls before I was 18, did a bunch of acid, started thinking differently, and yeahhh. Lost my virginity two weeks before my 20th birthday to a model. Since then I've just worked my way through numerous pretty faces without too much of a care. Never wanted to date any of them because they were as slutty as me and I want a partner to be the complete opposite to me.

When I say a bit of both, it is really only two or three girls who have not wanted to date me, sadly. Two were because I reverted to being my shy teenage self and it scared them off and the other one it is a good thing she didn't because I subsequently found out she was even sluttier than I was at the time.

>his girl seems to have offered you something different (just because of how you're struggling to get over it).

That's spot on. She was completely unlike any other girl I have ever met. I mean, she also has a host of mental issues, is unable to have children, and was probably not a good long-term partner but she was also most certainly a good person. I mean, apart from how she broke up with me. That still fucks with my head to no end.

I definitely loved her though. That is clear to me.

There's something that doesn't sit right with me. You want to tell us you are this carefree guy that fucks around, but you latch unto an unhealthy girl that dumped you?

I mean, humans are complex and all, but it sounds weird. As you said, you've been dumped before, so it's not like you refuse to lose or some shit. Sorry, this story doesn't sit well with me. Something is not right.

Yeah man, I wasn't being a dick, I was just trying to explain why I think you're taking the break up so bad. I don't blame you for fucking a bunch of women and my original post was kind of just a reference to how harsh Jow Forums is about women having multiple partners.

As I said, you've realised what a decent relationship is through meeting her and you're probably worried about going back to that lifestyle where you fuck pretty but faceless women to feel validated. She probably represented everything you actually want, and you're mourning the loss of that because you're realising how great it was (despite her flaws).

There is nothing to say you can't experience this again with another woman, you just have to avoid falling into the habit of one night stands and quick flings. Hopefully you will have learnt a bit more about what you want from a relationship and this will help you make better decisions in how you conduct future relationships.

It's a part of growing up, unfortunately. There's no quick fix to heartbreak but you can learn from it.

How'd you pull so many chicks?

Posted the other day saying my wife had openly mentioned divorce during an arguement. Now this has happened:
>wife wants to spend our life savings (for a house) on a holiday
>blames property prices
>never known her to research property prices
>very important that we book the holiday imediately
Is she preparing to split?

>How'd you pull so many chicks?

Fuck, I honestly do not know. Most were from tinder but it still does not explain how I get away with it. I'm not even that attractive... I'm just a long-haired hipster looking dude who dresses somewhat well. I think with a lot of girls it just happens because I come off as sex-positive, appear to be fairly sociable, and my sarcasm is seen as charismatic. I honestly have no idea though. I have slept with women who I have no business even talking to.

> You want to tell us you are this carefree guy that fucks around
I am carefree to an extent but I also get overly fixated on things for no reason. I feel like maybe this also occurs with people? I don't know... This was my first and only real relationship. We were together close to two years although there was a period within that of like three months where we were apart and I slept with a lot of people.

>you latch unto an unhealthy girl that dumped you?
I had no idea how unhealthy she was until I was already in love and by that stage I had already commmitted. I wanted to try my absolute best to make the relationship work and do anything that I could to fulfill this goal.

>Yeah man, I wasn't being a dick

My bad, my dude. Sorry, I took it a bit too harshly, haha.

> my original post was kind of just a reference to how harsh Jow Forums is about women having multiple partners

I cannot say I am any better than the rest of Jow Forums. I personally have no qualms about what people choose to do with or to their bodies but I honestly do not know if I could ever date anybody as slutty as me. It just does not seem conducive to a long-term and stable relationship.

> She probably represented everything you actually want, and you're mourning the loss of that because you're realising how great it was (despite her flaws).

Yeahhh, this 100%. Fuck dude, like actually this so much. It is insane.

How do I stop worrying that every girl is going to ghost me or that every girl has alterior motives though? Since she broke up with me via text, I keep thinking every girl is going to do the same or worse. I keep overanalysing every interaction with girls and getting far too self concious. Somehow it comes off as me being aloof and girls think I don't care but in actuality the twenty second pauses I take between answering questions is me breaking down whatever they have just said into a million tiny pieces. It is fucked and I just want to be able to enjoy a moment again instead of trying to read between the lines with everything.

dude, it's high time to cut the money flow

It's really ogre, huh?

I don't really care too much about the money since divorce is always womanwinslol so she'll get it anyway.

>not even that attractive
Post a pic.
I also have long hair, but I'm not a hipster.
I'm not the people who you replied to, btw.

>Yeahhh, this 100%. Fuck dude, like actually this so much. It is insane.

I am worryingly good at calling things on Jow Forums. If it's any consolation, most people feel this way when ending a relationship, regardless of how unhealthy it was. You will suddenly start to think about all the good parts and block out all the shitty bits.

I'm sure there were shitty bits, so maybe focus on those and why it would never have worked in the long run.

>I am worryingly good at calling things on Jow Forums.
Do me!

well, she can still get less or more, but do as you please

Well, the holiday is 8 months away, so I don't know if she plans to hang on to me until then and toss me out after she gets her trip. It doesn't make any sense. But spending our savings for the future is a classic pre-divorce move.

Do you even lift?

Obviously not. I'm potentially too thin, hence the question.

Is anything less than a bodybuilder too thin?

Okay man I'll try....

If that was the first time she mentioned divorce in an argument, I wouldn't worry too much. Chances are she's just really frustrated that things are shitty between you and this was her attempt at scaring you into action. Yeah, it's playing games, but if she has been trying to work on things with no improvement, it can be pretty annoying.

I would hazard a guess that her proposal that you book a holiday is probably an attempt at rekindling the romance, rather than preparing for a split. Firstly, why would she ask you to go on holiday with her if she wanted a divorce? Secondly, it would make far more sense to keep the money and split it through divorce proceedings rather than splash it all on a holiday of a lifetime with a guy she no longer wants to be with.

Yes, there's a small chance that she is trying to blow the money because she wants to leave you, but there are a million better ways she could do this that wouldn't involve spending time with the guy (you think) she wants to leave.

Don't worry so much, man. If there are still signs that she loves you then maybe an amazing holiday will do you both some good. Life isn't just about saving for that thing you might never even need.

Also if she does divorce you in the future, you can sit back and chuckle at how salty she will get when there's no money in the pot.

Haha, nahhh, I'm good. Not too keen on posting pics of myself on this place. I wouldn't call myself a hipster, I just get asked if I am one constantly, so I figure I must be. No harm in it though.

>going back to that lifestyle where you fuck pretty but faceless women to feel validated

This part fucks me up so much, dude. I know other people should never be the source of your validation or happiness but it just becomes such a source of it for me and it sucks. I have no idea why I fall into this trap... Even with my ex we were pretty damn codependent emotionally.

> You will suddenly start to think about all the good parts and block out all the shitty bits.

I remember all the shitty bits as well... It just continues to fuck with my psyche that she broke up with me via text. It makes me feel like I was not worth her time to come and see in person. I understand that she was struggling mentally, believed the relationship to be dead in the water, and wanted out but it still kills to know she did not believe I deserved to have it done face-to-face.

>1/2/3/4
>bodybuilder
Damn son. you are uninitiated.
also yes.

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1/2/3/4 is one plate overhead press, two plate benchpress, three plate squat, and four plate deadlift. Each plate is 20kg on either side plus a 20kg olympic bar. At 1/2/3/4, you will be lifting 60kg, 100kg, 140kg, 180kg, or 132lbs, 220lbs, 308lbs, 396lbs. This should take no longer than eighteen months to reach and will have you looking fairly decent. Eat at a caloric surplus, train five times a week, and do cardio.

Okay I have a dilemma for prom. I’m really down to three options. I can go without a date, which wouldn’t be awful since I’m going in a large group with others who don’t have dates, but at the same time I don’t want to go to prom alone. I could ask one of my friends who has a huge crush on me, but I don’t have feelings for her in that way and I’d feel shitty leading her on. The last option is my ex, who I ended on good terms with, but we haven’t stayed in contact. I’ve held conversations with her somewhat recently but I don’t talk to her much, and I’m afraid taking her would hurt the friend that likes me. What should I do?

thanks lads

Is constant eye contact with a stranger indicative of anything? I was doing some shopping and one of the employees there was cute as fuck, must've caught her looking at me 4 or 5 times. She was talking to some gay dude too, not like I'd have done anything.

But should I?

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Fuckbuddy said she'd set me up with a female friend of her's who is selling herbal mixtures.
Assuming the firend is hot, do you think she'd be upset if I had sex with that friend? Hypothetically, would this cross a boundary?

>If that was the first time she mentioned divorce in an argument
It's not, but it's the first time she said she was seriously considering it over the previous few months and not just in a blind rage. It was also the first time we actually discussed how much time we would get with the children and their timetables. So it hurt me pretty bad. I keep trying to meet her demands and there's always something else on the horizon, and get no brownie points for any of this. Only
>if you love me you'll buy me a holiday
>now

I guess I may be overthinking it. I'm not worried about it; at this stage I just want closure one way or another.

Thanks user.

who never tries, never wins

it depends on the case. You have to ask

>who never tries, never wins

I've never cold approached before, what do you even say?

is it harsh that my bf fucked my arse really hard for the first time? should i be annoyed at him for this? it really hurt

Yes.

No.

are you retarded or something?
I say that nobody here knows for sure if she wants you or not, but if you don't try to get her, then you definitely won't end up with a gf.
living involves taking risks from time to time.

t. rippley

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>looking fairly decent
For a T-Rex yeah.

Nahhh, haha, he'd say twelve months maximum ;).

>For a T-Rex yeah.

Who doesn't want to become a dinosaur in human form?

If it hurt, then talk to him. He might not have meant it, or maybe he is just a sadist. Talking to him is theonly way to find out.

Don't read so much into probably nothing. The fact that ou are sohung up on this tells me you are probably not the most outgoing guy, and that you are not even flirting with anyone right now, right?

If that's the case, then you have to see that's the reason such a small event matters so much. What do you want to do about it?

Ladies,

If a guy has big hands and feet, do you assume he has a big dick or do you not really make the connection/believe the saying.

I don't make the connection or believe that stuff.

When I like a girl, I like to let them know. For example if they have a voice I find cute, I'll tell them. If I like their butt, I'll tell them. If I like the way they look in their heels, you guessed it.

I'm no sperg, so its not like I aekwardly mumble/blurt it out. However I do wonder if this could come across as desperate or something along those lines.

What do y'all femanons think?

Fuck.

If you need to ask you know the answer.

Are there mechanically-inclined females out there, or is that more of a male thing? I’m pretty much always turning a wrench whether I’m at work or at home, mostly aut/o/-related stuff. Is that something any of the ladies out there would share or at least tolerate?

I'm 28 with no friends and have never known love or intimacy. I'm ugly and disliked by most people I meet but at least I am employed and financially supporting myself. I want to break this cycle but without making anyone upset which talking to them seems to do. But sometimes I think that this is just the way things were meant to be, that some people just don't make the cut, and that while I can try to deny it it is best that I accept that I am not worthy of other people.

Have some confidence, fuckboy. If others reject you, it’s their loss.

Why can't you find something intrinsic about them that you like? It comes off as shallow that you're listing external things. I would personally ignore you if you said you liked only external things about me, it tells me you're staring at my ass instead of actually getting to know who I am as a person/listening to me. I'd probably get creeped out as well.
A girl with low self esteem might just like the compliment

Alright, no more passing compliments.

I like to build and fix my own shit. It's more of a "male thing" because it's socialized into males, they teach each other and encourage that behavior in each other. As a girl, I haven't really has anyone teach or encourage me how to do Jack shit, I always end up just googling shit all the time. Most guys I've been around would say b.s. like "oh it's too confusing for me to teach/show you" , which is b.s because it's a task I easily did myself with the help of Google after realizing you can't rely on guys to help you at all. Basically if Google didn't exist, there would still be a lot of shit I couldn't do, because I've never had a guy show me how to fix stuff.

Tldr; it's a society issue, not a sex issue

Lol damn, you really have to close yourself off as a guy, don't you.

Or you could work on complimenting something that isn't shallow for once, is that really so hard for you to just not be shallow? Jfc

Men are pornsick beasts. Let me rewrite that post for you:
Is it harsh that my bf hurt me physically for his pleasure?

Y'all need radical feminism

They probably don't know how but don't wanna admit.

When is the appropriate time to tell her I'm interested in furthering our relationship? I've been seeing this girl for the past month and a half or so and we've gone on about 4 or so dates and we're going to the fair Saturday. Is now a good time to tell her?

How would you respond to seeing your partner cheating in front of you?

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>close yourself off as a guy
What does that mean? just compliment her for something that isn't a shallow external bit. I'm both amazed and disgusted you guys are having such issues coming up with compliments that are genuinely nice v.s. shallow. Here's a hint, if the same compliment can be given to a blow up doll, it's probably shallow and you should try harder to get to know them as individuals

Quite violently, i went office space on a printer, and the whole apartment really, when my ex cheated on me a decade ago.

I won't lie. I don't find a girl's beauty a shallow thing considering we all look different. That being said I totally understand that people may not read it that way and may just see me as a sleazy creep. Its not the end of the world, I can appreciate beauty without saying anything.

As for complimenting something that isn't "shallow"? Wouldn't that exclude it from being a passing compliment?

Any meaningful compliment about someones character can't be summed up in a passing sentence amiga.

>If others reject you, it’s their loss.
I don't think so. I am under no illusion that I deserve anything beyond what I am contractually owed through my work. Even when I had people I called friends, they didn't think the same of me and cut contact once they realized they could do so. It makes sense, because imagining things from their perspective I don't think gained anything from the interactions or particularly enjoyed feeling obligated to invite a social retard to tag along. If you knew someone had no friends at all and was a kissless virgin at that age, you'd probably avoid them for safety reasons if nothing else. It is common wisdom that people with no friends are dangerous to others.

Its not so much this example but whenever I read these threads it seems like guys are actually pretty romantic but other guys and femanons tell them to cut it back. I'd find it nice if a guy complimented me on my looks, especially if it felt like he really meant it. But I guess I haven't had the greatest self esteem growing up.

If the same could be said for a sex doll/blow up doll, it's probably not much of a compliment. Youd be surprised what you can do with just one sentence. An eye for detail helps, i.e. picking up that her keychain means she likes a certain hobby or something. My keychain has a Kawasaki tab on it, so that could spark a whole conversation on its own

Some girls will totally take any compliment that they can get fyi, but those tend to be the insecure, crazier ones

Beggars can't be choosers

I fully appreciate your help, though I do know this stuff.

An example being recently when I noticed this middle eastern girl was wearing an Iranian Zoroastrian pendant. We talked about it for ages.

How is that different, out of curiousity, from me asking a girl about her ancestry after mentioning that she has really striking cheekbones?

Hope I'm making sense.

I've been using the word intrinsic to describe basically what you're asking. Here's a more detailed definition on intrinsic vs. Extrinsic
vocabulary.com/dictionary/intrinsic

Okay, so yes. Passing compliments are best avoided.

Like I said, I understand how they can come across and I wanted confirmation. As for compliments on someone's intelligence or work ethic? I'll just continue to dish those out exactly how I would were I talking to a dude friend. Sparingly and only when they're feeling down about themselves. Just cause I find when people give me "intrinsic" compliments I have to check my ego.

Looool whoever you are, you're a total bitch. Stop being passive aggressive to the guy.

it's exactly the difference like between somebody telling you you have a big dick versus them telling you you're smart/able/good

I understand. Though I definitely like being told I have a big dong.

u fukd lol

In theory, I'd love to walk away, delete their number, write off any possessions of mine over at theirs, and just never let them see my face again.

In practice I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to resist telling them off. Hope I'd have enough restraint to not even give them that.

No. Big hands are still attractive in themselves, though.

Depends on how personal it is. If I don't want a stranger to touch it, I don't want a stranger to comment on it. Clothes, voice, smile, poise, hair etc is all fine. Comments on my figure/body, no.

Fascinating

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