Birthmark and Dating

I have a dime-sized birthmark on my jaw/cheek as seen in pic related, which I cover with a special concealer. It's very slightly raised/textured (ew), but this is only discernible by running a finger over it.

I've been lucky enough to not have been teased because of it, but I've hated it anyway since early childhood because it makes me uglier and I feel bad about having to make people look at it. I'm 20 now and my insecurity over it has prevented me from dating. I get hit on regularly (with it concealed), but have politely declined every time and never told them about my birthmark.

My plan has been to get it removed, and then start dating, but I'm conflicted because it's not good to put my life on hold either. As it currently stands, it will take me about a year and some change to have enough saved up for surgical removal (it's too dark for laser therapy to work).

So, several questions here:
>1. Should I wait it out until I get it removed, and then start dating, or say fuck it, and start dating now, and just get it removed in two years as opposed to one?
>2. How/when do I tell my dates about my birthmark? It's easier with online dating because I could just put it in the profile, but it's MUCH weirder to tell someone in actual conversation, I think.
>3. Men, uh, what are your thoughts? Like, is the birthmark a minor or major flaw in your opinion?

I don't need any one-liners about my insecurity being more unattractive. I already know that's a problem too, but fuck it, this birthmark is objectively a physical flaw and I want it off my face.

Thanks.

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The older you get, the harder it is for your body to heal in a manner that is least viasable.

It's not a problem and you don't want men who would find it a problem so don't worry about it. It's a natural filter.

Stop being a woman, literally no one cares about your birthmark, and if they do they either won't say anything about it to you or they'll think it's cute or endearing. My ex had a huge discolored spot under her arm, and I thought it was the cutest fucking thing. Stop being a woman, you're only thinking people don't like it because YOU don't like it. Men aren't nearly as judgmental as women can be.

>1. Should I wait it out until I get it removed, and then start dating, or say fuck it, and start dating now, and just get it removed in two years as opposed to one?
Why would dating now require you to wait an extra year? You're a girl. You shouldn't be paying for dates.
>2. How/when do I tell my dates about my birthmark? It's easier with online dating because I could just put it in the profile, but it's MUCH weirder to tell someone in actual conversation, I think.
It should be just barely visible in your profile pic. Otherwise don't even mention it.
>3. Men, uh, what are your thoughts? Like, is the birthmark a minor or major flaw in your opinion?
I'd say it's pretty minor. It's one of those things I wouldn't even notice after first meeting, and that wouldn't bother me anyway. I mean, if it's upsetting you, it's a problem obviously, but as a guy I literally wouldn't give a fuck.
I'll tell you truthfully, I find the attached earlobes more off-putting than that mole. But that's just my tastes speaking.

damn it dude now she's gonna be making posts about attached earlobes. Don't listen to him OP, that's not a big deal either.

it's absolutely fine and anybody worth having a relationship with wouldn't give two shits

you are in shape, young and nice enough to want to literally alter your god-given (metaphor) body/face to please people. you will be absolutely fine. i

morbidly obese people have wives and children. homicidal maniacs manage to find love, sometimes. so do all the horrible fat cunts you see kicking off in supermarkets.

a little birthmark is no issue and would, to me, make a partner more endearing. it is 'unique' to you

Kek. It's honestly not even that big a turn-off to me. Just saying that different guys have different tastes.

OP, have you ever had a guy kiss you on the mole? What would you think of that?

It's fine, just leave it. Based on the look of your jawline you're attractive enough for it to be more of an interesting/cute quirk than something ugly.
Anyway, as other anons said, the right guy won't care about it–in fact, he'll like you all the more for it.

One of my favourite parts of my wife's body is a small birth mark on her torso. It's the little unique things that people who love you like the most. That birth mark of yours wouldn't be a dealbreaker for anyone but the most shallow of fuckwits. Get thee to dating.

a girl i was once basically obsessed with had a huge mole/birthmark right on her ass cheek. obviously, in an 'ideal' world, an ass doesn't have a huge birthmark on it, but in my love-drunk stupor it's what made her ass HERS, and i fucking loved it

>if they do they either won't say anything about it to you
I'm not OP. Hard as it may be for you to believe, we care a great deal about you being happy and satisfied with us and not feeling like we repulse you because of this or that little thing.

I got to say, I'm one of the men who isn't for standardised beauty and fed up of everyone looking generic, getting their noses "fixed", beauty spots "fixed", all wearing the same shit and acting "generic", I'm not a fan of make up either, people should just be themselves, so people can find girls attractive for their individual quirks and unique look, not this generic girl over the next generic girl.

Most celebrities who are most revered for their looks have quirks, some get them removed and fade into the background, some keep them and are iconic...

The only people who will treat you differently for that birth mark are people you shouldn't want to date them and you've likely dodged a bullet, as they probably have other issues.

We aren't repulsed, how many men just stated that they wouldn't care, myself included. You guys are repulsed by yourselves.

>You're a girl. You shouldn't be paying for dates.
I'd prefer to unless he absolutely insists. Plus, if it's less urgent, I'd rather put more into my retirement and travel funds.

lmao I have no qualms about my attached earlobes and never will, but thank you.

>OP, have you ever had a guy kiss you on the mole? What would you think of that?
Never, and it would probably make me uncomfortable unless I knew him really well. I don't think my even my parents ever did that when I was a toddler or anything. My mom said, "if it ever changes, tell us, and we'll take you to a doctor" when I was 7 or 8 and that's all anyone said to me/done about it until this thread. Also worth mentioning we had enough money when I was young to get it removed and not even come close to making a dent in the household budget, but they just never did, and I didn't ask.

What she said.

I think Drew Brees(qb) had a similar birth mark he tried to get removed from his cheek. It got infected after the removal and looks worse now. So something to keep in the back of your mind.

I think its fine personally. It would not stop me from dating someone.

cut it off
no man will like you
t. man

>Never, and it would probably make me uncomfortable unless I knew him really well.

Well, just FYI, if you date a guy who likes you, he's gonna like the mole, and may incidentally kiss you on the mole. So don't take it the wrong way. Some guys do that shit to signify they love all of you.

You guys are repulsed by yourselves.

quote for the day. its sad, frankly.

the OP looks beautiful. i'm surprised she goes to the trouble of covering up the birthmark, it's not a big deal and far faaaaarrrr from anything repulsive. i'm saying you faggots pretend with us so often and then wonder why we get so insecure so easily

I might post my picture after I get my hair cut ( waiting for my barber atm)

I have a fairly large port wine stain birth mark above my left eye. I used to hate it until I stopped giving a fuck around 16 cuz I wanted to fuck or find love.

I recently became single after a decade and I've been doing pretty well since I'm not even seeking women out that seriously. I get complements about my birthmark regularly from men and women.

Basically you need to accept yourself op or else you'll never believe anyone who says they think you're beautiful.

I almost got mine laser removed , I did a single session and felt like I was erasing a part of myself to appease strangers. But that's just me.

Either way, its up to you. I wouldn't have a problem with it as is. Worst case scenario you'll have a little scary

>the OP looks beautiful.
I dunno, she might not have double eyelids. She looks like the type.

As long as you have a pretty or even decent face most men won't care about it.

again, no one is "pretending" that's you guys just being inherently insecure about shit that doesn't matter. if someone is repulsed by it, they'll nut the fuck up and accept it because that's what men do. there's a difference between pretending and acceptance. learn it.

She's young, healthy, beautiful clear skin, great bone structure, healthy looking hair, healthy weight.
>trollsperging about eyelids

men are not retards. we know that girls aren't actually like they are on the front of fucking cosmo magazine. girls, for some reason, seem to think that they are.

my gf has cellulite, fairly bad skin and really bad IBS. but she looks great to me and we have great sex - i love her.

Get the fuck over it - you are NOT perfect and you do NOT need to be

worry more about your behaviour/what you do with your time, not some fucking little spot on your face. men dont give a fuck about that

yeah and there's a difference between acceptance and satisfaction

again for the thousandth time: for women there's a difference, not for men. don't compare us to you.

>beautiful clear skin, great bone structure, healthy looking hair, healthy weight
>Noisy-as-fuck, dark, monitor-lit, low resolution image that's had the actual face, where 90+% of the facial bone structure is, blurred out.
Okay, she has a mandibular line. Great. Everything else is invisible or so noisy you can't tell texture from noise. And all from one picture. Holster your imagination and actually look at what you have to go on.

fine whatever you guys are all great and blah blah i concede i'm done

sorry for derailing, op

fuck yourself, immature bitch.

>t. man

Nonsense.

whoa dude, dial it back there, we won fair and square.

our righteous victory was not recognised and nothing was learned - it was a victory in image only

its fucking disgusting and i wouldnt approach you with a 10 feet pole, people telling you it doesnt matter are whiteknights beta faggots, inside everyone is thinking its disgusting

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Back to your bitter incel containment board:

Whether or not it's a big deal to others it definitely sounds like a big deal to you. Your objective is to remove the worry. You can either find a way to stop thinking about it, or just get it removed.

Honestly, it sounds like this is screwing too much with your head. You'd have to hire a shrink to get over it, and that costs almost as much if not more in the long run. Might as well pay up for surgery. Do what you can to borrow money and get it done asap. You'll be able to live normally and make money faster than when you weren't focused. Also

tip that fedora harder

At least it isn't your whole face that looks like one big birthmark

What the hell? It's barely noticeable. You look fine.. I'd even say it's part of your charm. don't hide it.

i love imperfections

>big fuzzy mole
Gross.

Start dating now, and then if you really want and can afford just remove it, if one person really like you a single birthmark should not have to be a problem.

My guy-friend has a bigger visible one. He's funny, cool to hang out with and doesn't have an issue with dating.


You're a girl, you're good, don't worry about it. If I ever saw something like that on a girl and it was a mole(not a birthmark) with hair, I'd run away.

>1. Should I wait it out until I get it removed, and then start dating, or say fuck it, and start dating now, and just get it removed in two years as opposed to one?
Definitely this.
>3. Men, uh, what are your thoughts? Like, is the birthmark a minor or major flaw in your opinion?
No way is it a major flaw. In fact I'd date your jawbone any day. Looks distinguished. Fine skin tone and neck bits too. Very fine.

"Insecurity" of your sort is a huge bonus for insecure men. That can be a curse or a boon. Makes you seem more traditionally feminine.
I think the mark is a good filter for squeamish dudes.

>or say fuck it, and start dating now, and just get it removed in two years as opposed to one?
by "this", i meant this part.

You can easily bring it up in a first date too. It's classic rom-com stuff.
>it gets quiet
>"so, can i tell you something?"
>dude's like okay things are about to get cheeky, he says "what's that baby"
>"don't laugh"
>he nods
>"you can't see it but i've got this big mark on my cheek, i've always hated it"
>"lol dude wut"
>"i'm telling you, it's just this huge freckle."
then he goes
a) lmao i don't care
b) ooookaaaay
c) ah yeah i have a thing too
either way, nothing happens that isn't meant to happen after that.
you can say "well, now you know. i had to say it at some point."
if there's some terrible silence after that, it's really on him. just ask him something about himself to keep it going.

This.
My ex had two scars on her belly from an operation she had as a child and they embarrassed her, I thought they were cute as fuck though.

>I have a dime-sized birthmark on my jaw/cheek as seen in pic related

You've been here before and almost a copy-paste of the last time.

I offer the same advice as before. Don't disclose anything and just act like it isn't even there. If it's covered by concealer, so what, when he eventually sees you without makeup I doubt it'll even be mentioned - until you bring it up.

Oh yeah, look at this shit:
And here's someone probably different with a much more hideous mole: