I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now. I'm a clingy person and naturally I want that kind of affection back. We started out quite lovey-dovey but recently he's been more distant. He doesn't always respond to my messages and sometimes it takes a while for him to respond. He's also been sleeping a lot recently; it kind of makes me upset, but it's not his fault. He sleeps a lot and I miss him when he does that. I want him to show me the kind of affection I show him. I'd like him to be more clingy and attached like he used to be.
Has anyone gone through that or knows a way to make them more loving ?
We're very close, but he's just not paying attention to me like he used to. I want him to be sweet like he used to be.
How do I make someone more clingy ?
Camden Myers
Juan Wilson
You don't really. Sometimes you can spend time apart, and that'll make the other party realize how much they actually do care for you, but it's a risky maneuver.
Carter Sanchez
>Online gay boyfriend
Kek
You are going to be a fuck up forever aren't you?
Robert Cox
you can't push things like this to happen, what you're describing is a fairly normal thing to happen after the honeymoon phase of a relationship. space and less interaction could make him miss you
Josiah Perry
Something similar happened to me and my ex girlfriend, we were both very lovey dovey, then after a year she distanced herself really hard while I remained as clingy as ever. But she dumped me shortly after. How distanced has he become exactly? Does he have depression or something?
And no, you can't really push those things. I wouldn't recommend distancing yourself on purpose since you're clingy and it's only going to make you feel worse, I've tried this move before.
Zachary Peterson
:(
>gay
but it's kind of risky isn't it ? Like I can understand why that's true. Like he might lose interest completely... I've thought about it... but I'm afraid of a bad outcome.
He's had depression for quite a while now, but it's never been this bad... I'm pretty sure it's his medication making him act like this, but it's like he forgets I exist sometimes and that hurts.
Also, I've tried this to a small extent, and it really really does hurt :/ I really want to do something about it though.
We used to spend literally all day talking. Like, 3-6 hours straight, and watch movies with each other too. Now, it's like, 30 minutes tops... I've tried making him "realize" that he cares about me by talking about other people (trying to get him a *little* jealous) but I don't think he's as obsessive as me.
Levi Martinez
>I'm pretty sure it's his medication making him act like this
Then there you have it I guess. I wouldn't recommend any mind games like distancing yourself on purpose or forcing jealousy if you're worried about his mental health. I think you have two two options
>Just keep acting as usual and wait. Maybe he's just having a bad moment.
>Try honestly talking to him, say that you feel like he's distanced himself and that hurts you.
How long has he been like this?
Ian Bennett
He's been like this for around a month, but it's it was kind of a progressive thing, I think. Acting like usual and waiting seems like a nice thing, but what if nothing changes ?
Jonathan Young
crap that reminds me, it might be because he doesn't talk to me as much anymore, but he never tells me he loves me anymore. He used to do it all the time...
Hudson Collins
Sheesh, a month. You're strong user, I could barely take two weeks of being ignored.
If nothing changes then I guess you'll be forced to talk to him user, it's not good for you to remain in a relationship state that makes you feel anxious and needy.
>but he never tells me he loves me anymore
He doesn't answear to your "I love you"s back?
Dylan Anderson
Yes. It makes me feel like he might be avoid it to be "honest" with himself but not really to me. I feel so bad about it. He doesn't say it back and it makes me so freaked out.
Also he used to go out of *his* way to say it, but now he doesn't even say it back. The ONLY time that he says it is when he goes to sleep, because that's what we've been doing for about a year now, so it's kind of a traditional thing. I worry that he's just going through the motions at this point. The thought of it makes me want to die. Like, I tell him that I love him more than anything in the universe can love, and he just ignores it...
Isaiah Cooper
Wow, this is literally ex.
Okay, if it really has been a solid month, I think you should try approaching the subject soon because it seems you've already been waiting a lot. I guess it depends on how much it's making you suffer.
Be honest with him. Good luck and be well, user.
David Fisher
thank you user. I sometimes wonder if it's my fault for being really clingy. Like, I can't even tell if I'm socially mature enough to not-be-clingy and attention-starved. I sometimes think maybe if I wasn't so obsessed with him, it would be like how a normal relationship is.
Jason Jackson
I mean, if I wasn't so obsessed with him, I would think of this as a normal thing in a relationship. He is on medication after all, but he's just acting so different and cold.
I'll definitely confront him about it soon.
Dominic Bailey
Oi listen, youre fucking it up
He's depresed, you already know this. You trying to make him jealous is probably messing with him on the down low. He wont talk about it. Stop that asap
It's been a year, he's probably out of the puppy love place anyway. Be straight with him. Go to him and tell him
"I've been noticing that you've been a little distant recently, that you sleep a lot more and you arent as close with me as you used to be. I know you've been dealing with depression and I'm worried that it's acting up. I just want you to know that I love you a lot and Im here for you no matter what. If you want to talk about anything I wont judge you and if you dont want me to bring up what we talk about then I want. I love you and I want you to be ok. Are you ok?"
Literally all anyone in that situation wants to know is that someone cares about what they're going through. If you walk up to anyone you know thats holding something in and ask them "Are you ok?" they'll get fucked right up instantly.
Also suck his dick
Aaron Russell
I'm such a horrible girlfriend. This is my first relationship and I'm not used to dealing with people in the first place. I very limitedly talk to classmates and my family. Thank you for providing me a template. That's actually really helpful and it made me think from a different angle.
Nicholas Murphy
Same guy. How old are you? This is the best piece of info you can give in these threads
Evan Rodriguez
20. 21 this year, he's a year younger than me so he's 19
Brody Ward
>younger guy
"I'll be your mommy!"
So ok, what's he depressed about specifically? Theres lots for a 19 yo. I cannot stress enough about the bj though. Just BAM grab the dick
Grayson Bennett
This is excelent advice. I'm sure you can do it user!
Daniel Rodriguez
Everyone always treats him badly. Arguably his mother, definitely his father, his grandparents. I hate them all for hurting him. I think his siblings too at one point, but not as badly as his parents. Also a lot of his friends turn out to be backstabbers and he's been bullied by his "friends" since he was little. I swear, if I ever got my hands on them, I'd slap them, but I'm not strong so I'd probably get beat up lol. I'd still do it though. He does act cute sometimes. cuter than me sometimes and it does make me feel like doting on him. It makes me really mad when I listen to him talking about his childhood because of all the family and school abuse. Even the teachers didn't want to help him. He never made lots of friends and became really messed up as a result. He's got schizophrenia because of it, and he's taking medication for that.
I'm not really a sexual person though. I was planning to save until marriage or something
Jason Bennett
Oh dear. Good thing this is your first relationship. It's probably going to mess you up right and proper with all that baggage.
>saving yourself
Admirable but if you stay with him I doubt that's going to last long. You can still suck the dick and not take the dick though.
Anyway if you really want to stick around for whatever reason then go ahead, do the talk, I would not get involved personally with family and friends though. He's likely more into you because he can distinguish you from them i.e. you're something thats outside of that world of hurt. If you get involved with the senpai and friends then you could get dragged in e.g. senpai talking shit about you or not wanting him to be with you
Does he have college plans?
If youre serious about him and he doesnt, you can encourage him to get a job/income by saying you two can move out together away from them and get him a new circle of friends
Guard your heart and emotions though.
Adrian Sanchez
I'm not sure. He's studying in trade school, but I don't know if he wants to finish it. Either way, I don't mind. I'm 100 % serious about him because I really enjoy being around him and he has a very nice personality. At the very least, he's fair about everything and very reasonable. I'm just afraid of hurting him or something if I say something wrong, but if I follow your template, I'm sure it'll be fine. I do want to live with him by the end of this year, if everything works well. I'm still studying, but I plan on making the majority of the money long term. I don't mind anything he does as long as he doesn't hurt me and he loves me. He's the most pleasant person for me to be around. What else makes people happy besides sex or sexual things ? Just as reference. I'm really not used to dealing with people. I'm know that over the last year, I've talked to him more than I've talked to anyone my entire life. More than my family actually. I really don't really know how to deal with people.
Mason Flores
Yeah listen it sounds like you're setting yourself up for ruin. Dont invest more money into him than you have to. Love is tricky but you might just need to take a step back and think about everything
Do you see yourself marrying him?
Do you see you n him working out while he's like this?
Think of the children etc
Gotta put things in perspective before you end up hurting yourself by giving too much to someone who might just end the relationship whenever. You're both still young. Lots of other people can be nice to you too
Jose Young
I can see myself marrying him. He's a really wonderful person at heart and I pondered what it would be like if we married a lot. He wasn't always depressed and distant. I just want to bring his attention back. I'm 100 % sure things will get better in the future. When i met him, he wasn't depressed, at least not apparently. He was always really happy. I think it gets worse the more strong his medication is. Every time he switches, he becomes a bit weird, sometimes he recovers from his weirdness, but this medication is supposed to be really really strong. I mean, he pretty much knocks out each time he takes it. It's not forever though, I don't think. I might just be overly idealistic but I see a happy future with him, as long as I do everything right. I'm not sure if he wants children. I kind of do, but I'm not opposed to it if he doesn't want any. I know he would be a great father though, because he spites his own father (and bad fathers in general). If anything He'll probably spoil them and I'd have to be the "bad cop." He told me he was serious about me too when I told him I wanted to be with him long term. It's just that now, his behavior kind of hurts, probably because I'm super clingy. I can't live on just spending 30- minutes with him every day even though we both have a life to live. It's just very different from what I'm used to. Probably not a problem when we start living together. He's already suicidal. I don't think he'd last that long without me, although IRONICALLY he's the one that's quite distant. I think it's temporary, but I want this temporary moment to end already, even if I have to do it myself. I know he's not naturally like this. That's why your advice is so valuable. I'm socially awkward I guess.
Elijah Johnson
Depression doesnt just go away, it takes the person wanting to get rid of it. If he doesnt want to wallow then he'll find a a way to repress it. If its environmental depression i.e. family, friends and lifestyle then changing that will help. You likely helped by being something outside of that.
Look into that dick suckin tho. Birthday ayyyy
Julian Brown
I guess I could do that for his birthday if that makes him happy. I mean, I plan on marrying him anyway one day. I know he is repressing some of his problems. Like, he's told me some of his problems (stuff he can't change) and then he doesn't want me to bring it up because of the fact that he can't do anything about it. Just stuff he wants me to sympathize with him I guess, but some other stuff like moving in together definitely will make him happy.
Thank you all for talking to me and giving me advice, esp
That made me feel a lot better.
Oliver Lopez
(You)
(You)
(You)
(You)
(You)
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Nice
For real though, dont feel pressured but literally just talk to him, dont get involved with the family, you can introduce him to your friends and bring him into your world if you feel its appropriate. Best of luck.