Crushing on someone who doesn't care PLS HELP

I'm obsessed with this guy and I have this idea that for my life to be perfect I HAVE to be with him. It drives me CRAZY knowing that I won't be able to fulfil this. I've made him to be absolutely perfect in my head and he could literally do anything and I would still want him. I've even wished that he would gain weight and become unattractive so I would be able to have a shot with him. I feel like any other person or relationship will only be second best to him.

I just wish I was born prettier, then I could have him, if only I was a beautiful girl he would be mine.

How do I get over someone like this? Has anyone else felt this way about someone and overcome this feeling? I feel so crushed whenever I think about how it will never work out between us I end up sobbing for hours.

I will read all replies

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Is he aware of this at all?

There's 3 billion other men in the world; odds are that there's one who's better than this guy in every way and will actually like you.

have you asked him if hes into you?

He is not aware of how crazy I am over him. I don't want to be vulnerable and share all this afraid he will just ignore me forever.

This doesn't help, 3billion men aren't all an option. There are a lot of humans but people are still single. There are more factors than sheer quantity.

He was into me a while back, but now he hardly responds. I know he's completely over it and maybe seeing someone else.

why not just ask him if he would be into dating you? nice dubs btw

This reminds me of a situation I got myself into somehow, but on the other end of the deal. I'm the guy who doesn't care. I've been hanging out with her for years, we're friends and everything. She wants to be more than that, but I don't. I don't really want to be friends with anybody, to be honest. She looks alright and all, but it's just not for me. I can imagine she feels terrible, but there's really nothing that can convince me to do otherwise. Every time I saw her, she ended up crying and running away. She just closed herself up in her room for the past week now, and all of her friends are worried. If this is in any way relates to you, like you feel very similar to her, hear my advice. Give up on him. Find somebody else who does care, and that would be fine with a relationship. If he really doesn't care, there's no hope. You can't make him. I'm not sugarcoating this because sugarcoating it would make you do the other opposite of what you need to do. Carry on with your life. You'll find someone better, and that cares.

I can tell he wouldn't be interested. I know when a guy is interested and he isn't.

Do you think you could still keep her as a friend if you were in a relationship with another girl? Also did you tell her straight out that you don't want to be more than friends?

I don't really know how to answer that, because I don't really want to get into any sort of relationship. But assuming I did, I would probably be able to do that, yes. I also did tell her how I feel about it after she confessed to me.

I'm in a situation like that rn, but I'm the guy. This girl likes me but I already have a gf.

I'd give this other girl a chance if I wasn't dating but you can't expect someone to throw away a relationship for you, i mean what kind of foundation would that be for your relationship?

My advice is to just move on. If anything, you know what to look for now.

I don't know what to say, there's not one answer to this. This has happened to me, and is still happening to me to an extent. Try working out, anything to give you confidence, it might give you the confidence you need to talk to him or open up more. It might feel like that without him your life isn't the one you want, but believe me when I say that this will pass. It might take a while, but it will.

Yes I want to move on I just don't know how I can stop thinking that my life is over if I can't be with him.

> but believe me when I say that this will pass. It might take a while, but it will.

how do you know for sure? wouldn't you still feel like you're settling in future relationships?

There was once a girl I dated, we messed the relationship up for ourselfs. Eventually she could not be with me and longer, and I could not get over her. It took at least 2 years, and in the end I just thought to myself "I'm tired of being depressed", and I pushed my feelings for her into the back of my head. If I think about her to much, I remember my feelings for her for a while. It happens every couple of months for part of a day. The rest of my life is normal though, and if been with another woman and not had any bad feelings about it. Didn't feel like settling.

Kill your self. :)

Okay now you're just being dramatic. Clearly your life isn't over cause you're still fucking here.

Whats so special about this guy anyways? cause if I had to guess, you're just projecting.

There's this girl that acts crazy for me, but in a way that almost seems like she's joking. Idk if she's being serious or not, but it's made me think about her non-stop.

If you show your desire for him, it might make him like you more. No, it WILL make him like you more.

>I'm obsessed with this guy and I have this idea that for my life to be perfect I HAVE to be with him. It drives me CRAZY knowing that I won't be able to fulfil this. I've made him to be absolutely perfect in my head and he could literally do anything and I would still want him.

Lol maybe he knows not to stick his dick in crazy, and can smell the psychosis on you. Realize that you're not going to always get what (or who) you want in life, and if he seems to totally reject you after trying, then you're just going to have to deal with it.
FYI this is how the majority of men naturally lower their standards through these kinds of experiences of being rejected, and come to terms with who they can and can't score. A lot of women don't, considering most of the time successful seduction wont lead to a rape accusation.

Hey good luck though.

are you saying your new relationship didnt feel like you were settling? Do you keep thinking you would be happier if she could have just accepted you?

That's the thing, like any other person wouldn't really find him special, but he is special to me, he really makes my heart ache thinking about him. I know my life isn't over I feel like this is dramatic and want some advice on how to cope and move on.

Are you sure about this? I feel like he will just distance himself from me if I do that... how are you so sure that it will make him like me more?

ty

I just know that my attraction toward a lot of girls skyrocketed if I thought they liked me. The reason I'm not interested in insanely hot girls around me is because they usually don't seem to be interested in me. It kinda turns me off actually to see their boring faces. But if a girl is normally "below me" in looks she can go beyond me just by acting interested in me and having a fun personality.

i don't feel that way about anyone

i feel like everyone is a piece of shit and not good enough for me

Be careful, the concept of a crush is very vague in the sense where even you admit portraying your crush as perfect in your mind. You have to understand you are obsessing with your imagination over the real person. If you really feel inclined to start a relationship with them, try to incorporate yourself with them. Start conversations, interacting with them but remember you have a life and interests different from theirs and you shouldn't competely change yourself for it. Good luck user.

Not op, but same.
In fact one woman acted so much like she was into me, kept lowkey stalking me and talking about me quietly...I took her out on ONE date to see if we were okay. It ended poorly for me. Slowly I just disowned her and moved on. Pretty sure she has a boyfriend now. I still get creepy vibes when I walk outside because she seems to be at my corner anywhere I go. Well that and she still get bitter about me and talks about me behind my back because what, I don't need to talk to her anymore?

I hate feeling like someone's little monkey they pet when they want to be pleased.

How old are you? Are you in college? etc.
Give us some info about yourself and your situation

Alright question:
Can you give us an in depth story about this dude?
Did you meet him online, school/work, some other place involving reality?
Can you define how long ago you thought he was into you?

I like stories and would like to give you my insight after you spill some beans.

25, met him at work, when I first started talking with him we were both flirting etc then he just kind of started ignoring me so I tried to get over him. This was the worst time I had really bad anxiety over it. But some other guy was interested in me and I used him to try and get over him (I know it's really shitty, but I needed anything to help me stop crying constantly). Then he randomly started contacting me again and I was soo happy over the moon ecstatic and then after a while he became unresponsive again.

I mean it's pretty clear he's just using me as some thing to just play with whenever he's bored. I do desperately want him, but I also have some pride, I'm not going to keep messaging him like a looney.

I'm just being extra looney on here because it's how I really feel that I hid from others.

It seems to be the case that you haven't had any meaningful contact/conversation. Your current psychological state is merely using him as a canvas, just like you admitted. You're giving him all those qualities with little to no basis concerning his personality.

If you cannot even grasp the absurdity and redundancy of your situation by rational means, you're going to have a hard time 'getting over him' and if undealth with it's probably going to affect your next relationship/romantic interest. Thinking just being with a person would suddenly cause all your problems to cease is nothing short of an 16-year-old's mentality.

I know it is extremely absurd...I've had other relationships where I didn't feel like this at all. I have talked to him a bunch to gauge his personality, when we used to talk a lot it would be hours at a time for about a month.

OP, are you a tranny or gay?

neither, straight biological female

Hey, i am kinda in a same situation myself, the only solution i can think of is that we should focus on our career and keep ourselves busy

Initials of your crush?

P.K

I Was in countless situations like you (minus the obsessed).It was a really bad time for me & and it is still.The view of "prittiness" is a very subjective thing and the definition may vary to an individual or other.Stop comparing yourself to others.Like the gent. above you need to be very careful to not put him on a pediestal and puting a picture of him near the definition of perfection.
Given the situation i found several options to get over him

1) Confess to him alredy and face the consequnces he may or may not be into you

2) Try meeting other men, or something to distract you from him

3) Try to find out his defects and try to ignore the perfection he has and only look at his flaws. In time you will forget about the good parts he has

I really hope my advice will help you.I'm really sorry that i can't something more to solve your problem.From what you wrote , i got to conclusion that you are a nice human being, if he dosen't want you it his loss , try to find other men that may like you-hell maybe there is one who is better overall than your current crush