I'm going to be 25 this year, and I've never been in a relationship. My friends are all moving on with their lives, finding love, and compartmentalizing me. I've become increasingly more depressed and lonely by the month, especially after coming to the realization that I don't think anyone out there would even consider me their best friend anymore. It hurt. I want something like that in my life. I crave romantic intimacy, I want to be that close to someone and form a real connection.
The problem is that I'm a socially retarded, probably borderline autistic, faggot that can count the number of friends I have on my fingers. I want to change that, but I have no idea how. I don't even know how to meet women anymore, now that I'm no longer in school where I'm obligated to hang out with them and working full time in a male dominated field that requires very little human interaction. Then even if I did somehow run into a girl I liked, I wouldn't know what to do because I don't have the skills or confidence to actually pursue. I am out of touch, literally clueless. I don't go out, I live a boring existence, which I'm self aware that coupled with how desperate I've grown over the years only makes me even less attractive as a person. It doesn't help that I'm petrified of interacting with people in general, I can barely strike up conversations with my actual friends without freezing up and over-analyzing every little thing that comes out of my mouth. It makes putting myself out there extremely difficult, I'm generally incapable of fitting in with most crowds. Feels like I'm operating on the wrong plane of existence sometimes.
I've tried online dating, but even after lowering my standards DRAMATICALLY I decided to give it up. I'm simply not attractive, interesting, or charismatic enough to stand out from the hordes of other men competing for attention in that space, and I walked away from the experience with only a hit to my already painfully low self esteem to show for it.
Also, sorry in advance for adding yet another >tfw no GF thread to the pile.
I have no one in my life I'd be comfortable talking about this stuff with and I've been having a particularly shitty day, so I figured this would be a good enough place to anonymously cry for help.
Austin Myers
>I'm going to be 25 this year, and I've never been in a relationship. My friends are all moving on with their lives, finding love, and compartmentalizing me. I've become increasingly more depressed and lonely by the month, especially after coming to the realization that I don't think anyone out there would even consider me their best friend anymore. It hurt. I want something like that in my life. I crave romantic intimacy, I want to be that close to someone and form a real connection. I know this feel but it passes. In a few years what you will see is that the life they have built starts to crumble. Some will break up and there will be ugly brake ups. Some will become enemies. Some might even die. If there's one thing you'll have is a youthfulness in form a youthful neuroticism that they eventually will envy.
Xavier Davis
Damn right. Just remember OP, you have your freedom so live it and enjoy every bit of it. Practice healthy hobies and don't you feel pressured by your parents and Friends you might still have telling you "where's your gf?". Don't fell into that trap.
Cameron Hughes
dude I just turned 25 a few weeks ago, and after going hermit mode for 5 months I decided to go to a bar with some friends and it made me realize that despite never having been in a relationship I wasn't actually behind at all
Hudson Stewart
Sorry to hear that user. If it makes you feel any better I'm going through pretty much the same thing except I'm a year older than you and a girl, which makes it arguably even more pathetic. All of my old friends have either formed relationships or emigrated (shit country) and subsequently cut all contact. I honestly never imagined my adulthood to turn out that way...
Kayden Price
I immediately thought the same thing when I read OP and physically rolled my eyes
you'd think by 25 a grown man would be able to figure out that the grass is always greener and use it as a source of confidence
Hunter Edwards
I shit you not go for a retarded or autistic girl
Jaxson Rivera
I'll be the first to admit that there's a still lot about life I still need to figure out. Just because my feelings/needs/insecurities are possibly/probably irrational doesn't make them any less painful, nor the downward spiral I feel myself on and desperately want to break out of any less real. It's got to the point where so days I get so down about it that I get a an actual physical sensation, a weight in my chest that I cannot shake. It's scary, because I didn't used to be like this even at my worst.
One way or another, I feel like something has gotta give and soon.
Sebastian Ortiz
Where does one even meet an autistic girl?
Nolan Perry
Have you tried travelling outside your country where you know nobody and will need interactions with people?
Levi Scott
oh please I'm 25 and never had a relationship either but you don't see me having panic attacks about it you realize your problem is a dime a dozen and and a trivial one to boot and you're acting like it's causing you panic attacks, get over yourself if you want sex that bad go to a hooker >muh intimacy jesus why am I the only incel that just wants to get laid without catching herpes
Jaxson Rodriguez
No, and honestly I don't think I could afford to on my budget. I've done a bit of local (America is pretty big) traveling on my own though, most of which has consisted of me awkwardly doing things alone.
Jayden Lee
Because you and I are clearly craving for different things in life, at least at the moment. If I just wanted to be with someone solely for sex, I'd save myself the time and money and effort by just jacking off for a release.
Also I'm not talking panic attacks. More like "I want to down an entire bottle of Jack to numb the pain" kind of moods, which I have been trying to refrain from doing to often as that'll only serve to make my slope more slippery.
Andrew Myers
>I crave romantic intimacy Fag
Lucas Parker
OP, you filthy fag, you nearly made me cry. I'm 27 years old. I've been in relationship for 6 years with woman I loved so much, I wanted to marry her. She left me one year ago. Since then, everything I was trying to build, is gone. For one fucking year I was trying to have worthy life. I lost 30 kilograms, I started to go to the gym, I'm a literature teacher and I'm trying to write my first novel... Even I'm doing something every single day, it's not enough. I feel like I'd lost huge part of me I can't replace with any achievement. Well, I'm still trying to do something and maybe one day, I will find someone for me.
Camden Rogers
I'm your age, only a female. Never had any relationship or any sexual contact, never had anyone interested in me romantically, only really gross elderly drunkards ever showed sexual interest in me, and my friends are getting engaged, getting married and having babies. I too long for love and intimacy, but because of my physical appearance and mental issues, and just generally me being a bland, uninteresting girl, I was forced to come to terms with being alone. It's not easy, but you basically have you learn how to find beauty and happiness in smallest things, as cheesy as it sounds. It will help to fill the void a bit. I spent a ridiculous amount of time pining after guys who didn't give a damn about me or fantasizing about all kinds of romantic scenarios, but I forced myself to stop indulging in these thoughts and focus on other things that make me feel less lonely - being useful to my family, taking care of my pets and my garden, supporting my friends, studying, working on myself as much as my mental health allows me, you get it. I think you need to work on your self-esteem and just being happy with yourself and on your own first. Once you realise that you can survive on your own and it doesn't have to be painful you will either turn complacent like me, or grow bold enough to participate in more social activities and will approach finding a gf with more chill than desperation. I know that since I made an effort to change my mindset I'm much happier with my life and while I still would want to share my life with someone, I know I can be fine on my own too.
Good luck user
Tyler Wilson
Dude listen up. I'm 24 and my life is great. I earn good money for my age with great prospects for my future, I have a beautiful girlfriend and women want me. I dont have many friends but I have a few close friends that always include me in their future plans.
Heres what im getting at, just 1 year ago I was in the exact same situation as you, I had very few friends, no close friends, no girlfriend no confidence, no job. I was overweight and depressed and hated myself. But in just one year my entire life turned around. And there was a distinct turning point. I had an epiphany and discovered that I needed to stop trying to change the variables around me and that what I had to change was myself.
Instead of trying to make other people my friends I made myself more friendly, then friends started coming to me! Instead of trying to make girls more attracted to me I decided to make myself more attractive, I got nicer clothes and exercised and improved myself and then girls came to me. Instead of trying to convince people to give me a job I decided to find my passion and work hard on it and improve my skills to make the employers want me. And believe it or not a job came to me.
You need to exercise, be healthy not of just the body but of mind aswell. You need to be cheerful but most of all optimistic. You need to find a passion career wise and work hard at it. Focus on improving yourself and then everything else will fall into place. Dont try to force your way into them.
Btw I am still a socially awkward autist who would hide and wait for the next bus to avoid having to chat to coworkers, the big difference being now they actually want to talk to me. I know now that I probably just think I am autistic and most people dont actually care and probably even find it amusing and enjoyable to be around.
Nolan Fisher
25 Is the age that people get their first serious mental breakdown. Funny thing is that it passess away after some time. Don't worry. Get more sunlight. You really don't need no intimacy. It's fun and all, but the world has put it on a too high pedestal. Try working on your own values. For example get physically fit. It naturally boosts your confidence. Try smiling more. That shit works. Sooner than later you'll start noticing subtle changes. People will turn more open towards you. Trust me bro, cheers!
Jackson Myers
>25 Is the age that people get their first serious mental breakdown.
It is the dawn of the age of quarterlife crisis.
Adam Sanchez
I lost all my friends when I was 19 and havent had a friend since. I went out to eat with a few classmates a few times but nothing stuck.
Ive been through it. Including the 25year old quarter life crisis. It does hurt a lot, you get desperate for a gf. Lower standards, online date and all that. And then eventually you kind of just slip off the face of the planet.
I just stopped caring honestly. After some really rough years, I just dont mind being isolated. I dont really have any advice, just letting you know Im in the same situation and I lost the desire for intimacy
Luis Williams
Hell I would just love to read the female versions of these type of posts. It seems they are few and far between.
Lincoln Gomez
Allegedly there is two in this thread.
Lincoln Sanchez
anyone wanna help me, that would be nice.
Kevin Hall
>toxic masculinity: the thread OP is lonely. He can't have female friends because hurr all men wanna fuck all women hurr durr. He can't have male friends because hurr men supporting other men is gay hurr durr. If OP gets a girlfriend, she'll end up being his sole source of emotional support, this is exhausting and will strain the relationship. If they were to break up, it would be so much more devastating for him than it should be. Why do you think so many men snap and go fucking crazy after being dumped? You know it's the truth: Gender/sex roles are anti-human cancer.
I'd like to add on to this that men being the provider in a relationship is still thoroughly ingrained in peoples' heads as "the way things are" thanks to the same garbage gender roles so no one sees anything wrong with "make a lot of money then at least you'll get to plug your dick in a fat cow"
Evan Moore
But to be fair, you have to be really fucked up in the head as a female to be lonely. For guys, you're already alone if you're shy or quiet, even if you are completely normal in other aspects.
Logan Rogers
I think it's more of a double standard than anything. Either way, it's pretty shitty for both parties. Both sides of the coin suck.
