23 year old male, just got my first gf. She really likes me, has been on anti depressants and has a shitty life, and i dont really enjoy spending time with her any more.
how do i break up? i dont wanna hurt her. do i try to stay friends and help her through any depressed feelings she might have?
pic unrelated
You will hurt her more if you try to stay friends with her. Cut all contact. Just tell her what you told us.
Why did you go out with her in the first place?
What changed?
is she ugly?
if not just see how desperate she is to stay with you and maybe you can put demands on her to become the perfect gf
or you could just do whatever the hell you want until she leaves on her own or likes it
course you could do this if she's ugly too but I wouldn't
I was went on two dates with a chick that seemed perfect and interested, but now she's just blowing me off. And i needed a rebound because i felt worthless. Prob was a mistake, im not in that good a mental state right now.
I want to fuck the shit out of her, and jacked off to her pics twice. But she is thick as fuck. The problem with this girl is that she is not ambitious as I am.
I am an engineer and physicist and i love nature and hiking. Since she is quite thick, she is not physically active as I am. She also is not on the same intellectual level as me. Compared to the other girl, she is an engineer that participated in research projects (just like me) that also just love the sciences as well. We can talk intellectually on a very fundamental level. Furthermore, that girl has been to numerous international countries, and travels often. We both fucking love nature, traveling, and trying random and spontaneous things that take us out of our comfort zone. Literally perfect chick to me, and being brushed off just sent me spiraling into a fucked up mental state that sent me to this current girl.
you don't want this person dependent on you
be polite but be direct
First thing first, stop comparing her to your ex. The "other girl" I gone and isn't coming back. What was, isn't so face that fact.
"The current girl" is a living, breathing person and is probably going through a lot, we don't know because you haven't told us. Why is she on depressants? Why is she so uninteresting now? If you don't want to be with her anymore, then tell her as such before things get too serious and she depends on you like what said. If you think you might want it to work, then try and help her through the reasons she so depressed and put an effort to help her.
So she's basically below your socio-economic-intellectual level? I mean, is she more dull than the average person, or is it she legit stupid? I'm just curious.
And further, if you just want to fuck her, then why do you want to dump her? Why not use her a bit longer?
Anyway, my perspective is that you have a bruised ego from being rejected from a so-called intellectual chick, and now you want to compensate by dumping this dumb girl. Not that there's anything wrong that. But going back to what I suggested earlier, you should just take what you can get.
>how do i break up>
"I don't think we should carry on seeing each other"
>i dont wanna hurt her
Sorry mate no relationship ends without someone being a little bit miffed.
>do i try to stay friends and help her through any depressed feelings she might have
No, for starters, you're not qualified to help, you might think you can help, but you can't, good intentions don't translate into positive actions or outcomes, leave helping her to professionals.
I still just hope for the other girl to be honest, she didn't straight up ditch me. She just gave indirect reasons to not hang out again when I've mentioned it. I felt like we hit it off well in all honesty, I just dont understand what happened. So thats prob part of my problem.
The new girl still lives with her parents, who are controlling and very strict. They're also idiots who spend all their money on pyramid schemes. She started anti depressants as a child, and from what she has opened up to me about i assume her problems stems from family issues. Getting to know her, I knew our humor didnt match up too well, and other things that were somewhat of a wedge. But for the few things we did have in common, and the attention she gave me, i wanted to pursue her. I just feel like it's not enough any more. It's not that anything has really changed between it, but rather that i feel like I made a mistake because I was in a bad place in my life and was looking for an outlet. I have no idea if it might work honestly, i really dont know what I want in life right now.
I cannot call her dull or stupid, i would call her above average in those respects compared to other people. But when it comes to math she lacks basic knowledge, which as an engineer that means i cannot really talk to her about anything too intellectual.
I don't want to use her, i respect her a lot. We havent fucked yet, and i really want to. But im not that type of person.
I don't think im trying to compensate, I think i just settled for someone below my standards when I shouldn't have. Looking forward in life, i want someone who i enjoy being with more than what it's like with this current girl.
Thanks for the replies btw.
> when it comes to math she lacks basic knowledge, which as an engineer that means i cannot really talk to her about anything too intellectual.
That sounds incredibly boring to be honest. But then again, I am also not a "math person" so I'm probably another person direct from Idiocracy from your perspective.
>So thicc she can't be physically active
She's fat, user. Stop trying to fucking delude yourself. Actual thicc girls go to the gym a lot.
>Need to understand math to have intellectual discussions
Talk about philosophy and politics you fucking calculator
If that's the case and you really don't want to move forward, then the best advise I can give you is to end it now. Ask her to meet you for coffee or something and explain what you told us and how you don't think that she is a very good match for you or however you want to explain it. Dont do it over text, that's just dickish
She struggles with basic algebra. Idk about you, but that's a low high school level topic.
ya ur right, she's fat. still an attractive fat tho. Her face is not chubby at all, just her body. Amazing tits, cute gut, gorgeous face.
I actually attend a local philosophy group that meets up every 2 weeks and we're almost all engineers.
>She struggles with basic algebra. Idk about you, but that's a low high school level topic.
Guess we have that in common. Took me two attempts to pass a basic algebra course in college in order to do my stats course. I can definitively that algebra is probably my most dreadful subject I've taken in my life. Pushed 3-4 times throughout grade school, and it still comes back in college to make me hate life. Fuck quadratics. Well this is a bit of a tangent.
I hope I can just explain something. People who are not good at math, are just wired differently. I don't know if you consider me stupid, maybe you should (up to you), but it wasn't my choice to not be good at math. I can try to do as many practice problems as I can, but it just doesn't click. Just think about something you're not good at. Maybe it's art, dance, music, whatever. Yeah, that's what it's like for a non-math person. I dunno if it's too late to cut her some slack. But that's just my perspective. Have some empathy. You need to empathize with any partner that you'll try to get. And if there isn't any other common ground with this girl, then maybe you're right. Just dump her. But just know that limiting your choices to women in STEM is severely limiting. Everyone know's that they're unicorns -- rare.
So? Does that mean you need to be an engineer to discuss philosophy? It's a coincidence that means nothing.
OP is an autistic retard.
>The new girl still lives with her parents
>We havent fucked yet
You're not in a relationship with this girl, end things already.
How does one find a smart guy like you? I'm sick of the dummies I'm stuck with.
Go back to school, get a graduate degree. With luck, they'll be some singles there. I went back to grad school later in life and hooked up with a QT3.14 but she ditched me after I graduated.
>she ditched me after I graduated
Tell us why
she ( male ) and all her friends ( male ) are so fucking hot Jesus Christ
I busted so many nuts to them back in '15
I honestly don't know. She just said she didn't want to date anymore and that was that. I don't grovel or beg women to date me, so I just said hell with it.
I'm not judging harshly the people who struggle with math, I'm mostly saying that when it comes to a preference for dating you need to be more knowledgeable. It's just feels harder to get deep with someone who I cannot completely talk to.
You're right.
Maybe
I'm kinda hoping she grows apart from me, for example I have a humor that is more cynical than she likes. In the best scenario, I want to just spend time with her, being intimate and all, but eventually growing apart soon. I want to break up right now because she seems to like me still and I dont want to hurt her worse later on.
Are you a "smart" girl? I'd suggest the website meetup.com (which isnt a dating site btw). It's a site where you can choose specific cities and specific activities and find groups that meet up. Being more social in the activities that you enjoy is a good way. I've recently joined my local philosophy group, and ive never done anything like that before, and it was amazing. They were almost all engineers, and having discussions with them was quite interesting. So just be open to trying new things as well. But that "perfect girl" i mentioned i met from tinder lol.
u have more pics of her?
are you in london by any chance?
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>her
warmfreshpaint
Youre welcome
United States
thanks. thats a trap tho?
user, i..